The Agenda of Neigh Nanners
“YOU DID WHAT?”
Princess Celestia sat in her throne in complete shock while Princess Luna threw her face on her hoof in total disgust. Queen Novo also stood by Celestia and Luna and she was just about as angry as the two alicorns. Discord stood by the other side, shaking nervously with Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy and Spike standing next to him. On the sidelines, The students, Starlight Glimmer, Sunset Shimmer, Trixie, The Cutie Mark Crusaders, Diamond Tiara, Double Diamond, Sugar Belle, Night Glider, Party Favor and the Apple Family stood in total silence, for the most part.
“So bad pony is back,” Yona whispered to Sandbar.
“Afraid so,” Sandbar said. “And now she’s got some new friends. Guess her warning became a reality.”
Princess Celestia got out of her throne and marched towards Discord with a sour tone on her face.
“Do you know what you just did?” Princess Celestia yelled. “You allowed three of the most powerful villains in Equestria history to unite together with your foolishness.”
“I only did it because I believed that Twilight Sparkle needed a boost in confidence so that when she becomes ruler of Equestria,” Discord said nervously. “She would have the full backing of the ponies of Equestria.”
“And do you know what you just did?” Luna replied. “You allowed your own magic to fall to those three, caused Twilight Sparkle to lose confidence in herself, AND resulted in an uprising across Equestria.”
“And why would you want to throw the lives of three villains away just to boost Twilight’s confidence?” Queen Novo yelled. “After all, what if Princess Celestia decided to release you from your stone prison just so you could do that all over again all to boost her confidence?”
The words from Queen Novo caused Princess Celestia and Princess Luna to turn towards the hippogriff with a shocked look on their faces.
“That was unexpected, coming from you Queen Novo,” Princess Luna said.
“I’m not kidding,” Queen Novo said as she got up and marched towards Discord. “I don’t know if it was truly to help out Twilight Sparkle, and your foolishness aside, you were willing to toss those three aside just as a form of nationalistic pride for Twilight Sparkle. I’ve seen Twilight resort to selfish foolishness. But you, you make it look like something that could be brushed off.”
“Now now, Queen Novo,” Discord said as he backed off. “You know the reasons why I had to.”
“Oh I do know,” Queen Novo said. “I learned why you have a bone to pick with those three. One, Lord Tirek took advantage of you and then casted you aside. Two, Queen Chrysalis kidnapped your precious Fluttershy along with the rest of her friends. And three, it’s because Cozy Glow is the disciple of Lord Tirek. Isn’t that right?”
Everyone just stood there, jaw dropped to the floor as Discord cowered back. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna quickly regained their composure before they got up and walked towards Discord.
“Well,” Discord said. “You are indeed right. After all, messing with one’s friends is enough to carry a grudge against those three.”
“Grudge or not,” Celestia said as her harsh tone returned. “Your actions have resulted in the worst crisis in Equestria History. And now I’ll have to fix the mess you made myself with the unruly mob.”
Celestia then turned to Queen Novo and whispered “Though I think your statement towards Discord went a bit too far.”
“Noted,” Queen Novo said. “But I was telling it like it is. That being said, I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Princess,” Rarity said. “With your permission, we would like to go search for Twilight Sparkle.”
“I’m afraid that’s too dangerous for all of you now,” Princess Celestia said. “Twilight Sparkle is still missing, the mobs are getting angry, and now we have Chrysalis, Tirek and Cozy Glow to deal with. The last thing I need is more bad news.”
“Actually,” Discord said. “I have some good news and bad news.”
Princess Luna rolled her eyes back and said “Fine Discord. Humor us. It’s not like things have gotten worse.”
“The good news,” Discord said in a nervous tone. “I have found Twilight Sparkle.” Those words caused Celestia, Luna and Novo to pop up.
“You found her?” Celestia said. “Is she being held against her will by the mob? Did those three take her hostage?”
“Well here’s the bad news,” Discord said as he raised his finger up. “Twilight Sparkle has become Midnight Sparkle, and she has sided with Chrysalis, Tirek and Cozy Glow. She also told me that she’s done with your lessons.”
Outside in the streets of Canterlot, a scream is heard in the distance as a random pony chef looks up at the castle.
“What in the world?” the chef said. “I have not heard Princess Celestia under that much distress.”
“Maybe that’s the sign of a failure.” The pony chef turned her head to see Shutterbug approach her.
“What do you mean by that?” the pony chef asked.
“Why do you think there are protests going on around Equestria?” Shutterbug said. “It’s not just because of Twilight Sparkle’s failures, it’s also because of Princess Celestia’s failures.”
“Princess Celestia?” the pony chef said. “But she’s been our leader for more than a millenia. Why would she fail?”
“I’ve heard this through the words of Neigh Nanners,” Shutterbug said. “Because of Princess Celestia’s actions, she alone created this mess by releasing Discord and putting too much faith in Twilight Sparkle. She’s the one behind it all.”
“Neigh Nanners?” the pony chef said. “Are you really sure about that?”
“Of course,” Shutterbug said. “I’ve heard everything from him, and he’s right. We wouldn’t be in this mess if it weren’t for Princess Celestia and Twilight Sparkle. There needs to be new leadership, and it’s up to you to find that leader.”
"You really think so?" the Pony chef asked.
"Yes, Shutterbug said. "You're better than this. You don't need to listen to that washed-up Royal. It is time you rose up and prove that you are not a doormat."
"You're right," the Pony chef said. "What's the point of baking pastries if we have incompetent leadership? Thanks for the suggestion."
With that, the Pony chef turned towards the entrance and ran off, leaving Shutterbug standing there with a smug look on your face.
"You're very welcome," Shutterbug said with a devious giggle before she trotted down the street.
Princess Celestia remained in her chair, breathing heavily as if she was having a panic attack. She grabbed a nearby empty paper bag and breathed right into it. Luna marched towards Discord, teeth bare and eyes focused on the draconequus.
“So not only were you foolish enough to allow Chrysalis, TIrek and Cozy Glow to unite,” Princess Luna said. “Your bungling resulted in Twilight joining in their cause?”
“I didn’t mean for that to happen,” Discord said. “I swear.”
“Like I’m going to believe that,” Luna said. “Because of your foolishness, we now have to deal with Princess Celestia’s prime student as an enemy.”
“Luna, that’s enough,” Celestia yelled as she threw the paper sack to the side. “Even if Discord was responsible for allowing Chrysalis, Tirek and Cozy Glow to unite, he wasn’t responsible for Twilight taking their side.”
“Sister, have you gone mad?” Luna said as she turned her gaze towards Princess Celestia. “You’re now going to excuse Discord’s actions for the mess we’re in?”
“Do you remember what Neigh Nanners said during the night of the failed Summer Sun Celebration?” Celestia said, causing Luna’s face to pop up.
“That’s right,” Luna said. “Those horrible words that Neigh Nanners said to her, and how she just got up and quit.”
“And the next day,” Celestia said. “Neigh Nanners put out a bunch of hit pieces that tore right into Twilight Sparkle’s reputation, blaming her for every event that transpired.”
“I recall one of them accused Twilight of originally breaking Tirek out of Tartarus,” Luna said. “How that caused a number of ponies to lash out like that is mind-numbing.”
“Had I been in her horseshoes,” Princess Celestia said. “I would have done the same thing.”
“So would I,” Princess Luna said. “It’s as if I want to call back out to Nightmare Moon and have her take me again.”
“What I can’t understand is how a few newspaper articles would cause your own citizens to run amok like this,” Queen Novo said. “I’ve heard of fake news and propaganda. But this takes this cake.”
Pinkie Pie ran up to Queen Novo holding two cakes on separate plates and said “Does it take a strawberry cake or a chocolate cake?”
Queen Novo just laughed and said “Foolish Pinkie. It would most likely take a sardine and mustard cake.”
Pinkie Pie just gagged and ran off, holding both of the cakes in her hooves. Queen Novo cracked a smile on her beak before turning her attention to Celestia and Luna.
“But that joke aside,” Queen Novo said. “We have not just the protesters across Equestria to deal with, but also the combined forces of Chrysalis, Tirek, Cozy Glow and Twilight Sparkle.”
“It’s really sad,” Sunset said as she walked up next to Queen Novo. “Long ago, Twilight made me realize the error of my ways when I was just a mean-spirited bully who wanted power. Now I have to return the favor to her, and I’m not looking forward to it.”
“Nor am I,” Queen Novo said.
“The big question is,” Princess Celestia said. “What to do with Neigh Nanners, considering that he allowed the rise of these mobs across Equestria and Twilight joining Chrysalis, Tirek and Cozy Glow?”
“Oh please not him” Princess Luna said. “I sensed something emitting from him the moment he opened his big mouth. Even I felt weakened by his choice of words.”
“At this point,” Celestia said. “He should be walking out of the gates of Canterlot. So at least we don’t have to deal with him now.”
Suddenly, the doors to the throne room burst open with an individual yelling out “AHA!” Celestia, Luna, Novo, Discord, and Sunset turned their heads towards the front to see Neigh Nanners march towards them.
“Neigh Nanners,” Celestia said. “I thought you were dismissed.”
“Oh I was,” Neigh Nanners said. “Until I heard word about how your pet was responsible for his biggest screw up in Equestrian history.”
“PET?” Discord said as his voice changed into a serious tone . “I was once the ruler of Equestria. I made ponies suffer when I was big and mighty, all until Celestia and Luna bested me with the Elements of Harmony.”
“That’s a lie,” Neigh Nanners said. “From what I know, Princess Celestia was the one who released you from stone in the first place and staged that incident of Twilight and her friends. You’re no villain One a pet, always a pet.”
Discord looked helplessly at Neigh Nanners. He turned around and ran up the steps before he hid behind Celestia’s throne.
“Are you kidding me?” Applejack yelled as she stomped towards Neigh Nanners. “You’re accusing us of faking our confrontation with Discord? Because I’ve known how painful it was to lose my sense of identity, as did all my friends. ”
Applejack turned to Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Fluttershy, who all nodded their heads in agreement. But Neigh Nanners looked undeterred.
“I beg to differ,” Neigh Nanners said. “You were only pretending to be shells of your former selves just to get the ponies of Equestria to sympathize with you, just as Princess Celestia instructed.”
“You take that lie back this instant,” Applejack said. “As the Element of Honesty, I would never resort that low.”
“Element of Honesty?” Neigh Nanners said. “More like Element of Deceit. That’s what your face reads.”
“WHAT?” Applejack said as her face turned beet red. She charged at Neigh Nanners, only for Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack and Spike to hold her back.
“Applejack, no,” Rainbow Dash said as she held Applejack back. “Don’t let him get to you.”
“That’s right,” Neigh Nanners said. “Hold your friend back. It just goes to show how much of a facade friendship truly is.”
Suddenly, Neigh Nanners felt a tug on his jacket. He looked to his left to see Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo staring up at him.
“For your information, Mister,” Apple Bloom said. “We unintentionally broke Discord out of his stone statue and caused all of this.”
“Yeah,” Sweetie Belle said. “So if you want to blame that incident on anyone, take it out on us.”
“Oh that’s real cute coming from a pair of three snot-nosed brats,” Neigh Nanners said in a mocking tone.
“So what are you going to do about it?” Scootaloo said. “Tell the whole world that we caused Discord to pop out?”
“Why should I do that when I know you three are covering up for Princess Celestia like a pair of juvenile delinquents you are,” Neigh Nanners said, causing Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo to cower. “If I were your parents, I would have…”
“Now hold it right here you smug whippersnapper,” Granny Smith yelled as she marched over towards Neigh Nanners and stood by the three Cutie Mark Crusaders. “First off, whatever you’re suggesting, we do not resort to that kind of punishment. And second off, I lost a son and a daughter-in-law not long ago, almost like how I lost my husband. So you have no right to bring up Apple Bloom’s mother and father.”
Neigh Nanners just smiled and said “Well that’s the reason why the Apple Family’s full of delinquents. If you keep letting the patriarchs fall, delinquency becomes the norm. Or has it always been the norm, just like those soft pears you call enemies.”
“Who are you calling soft you snively little weasel,” Grand Pear yelled as he attempted to reach out and yell like a maniac, all while Big Mac held him back. Granny Smith starred at Grand Pear’s outburst before turning her head back towards Neigh Nanners.
“Congratulations, jerk,” Granny Smith scowled. “You just made the feud between the apples and the pears look pleasant with that delinquent tone of yours.”
“Apples, pears, what’s the difference?” Neigh Nanners said. “After all, the only purpose for fruit is to be destined towards the garbage bins.”
Neigh Nanners walked away from Granny Smith, who clenched her right hoof in a fist and looked like she was trying not to scream at the top of her lungs. Applejack quickly ran up to Granny Smith in a hurry.
“Granny,” Applejack said. “Don’t make that mistake.”
“I know,” Granny Smith said. “But the way he just went and dissed both the Apples and the Pears makes it hard not to.”
Neigh Nanners walked up to Sandbar, Gallus, Ocellus, Smolder, Yona and Silverstream, who quickly hid behind Starlight Glimmer.
“That;s right, you six, filthy brats,” Neigh Nanners said. “Hide behind your so-called teacher. You’re as cowardly as your former head mare and the now Ex-Chancellor Neighsay and the disbanded E.E.A.”
“You stay out of this,” Starlight Glimmer yelled. “You have no right to traumatize younglings like that.”
“Is that the same speech of a cult leader?” Neigh Nanners asked. “Oh wait. You were never a cult leader in the first place, but a shill paid by Princess Celestia to give Twilight Sparkle and her friends a fake test.”
“I was never involved with Princess Celestia until Twilight Sparkle took me in as her student,” Starlight said.
“Lying as always, aren’t we, Starlight Glimmer?” Neigh Nanners said.
“You want the truth?” Starlight said. “I once went back in time to try to alter Twilight’s past because I couldn’t put up with the fact that she broke up my cult group back then. And when she showed me the consequences of my actions, I began to regret doing that.”
“Spoken like a true shill for Princess Celestia,” Neigh Nanners said. “There is no means to travel through time. And if there was, it’s nothing more than a mere hoax projected by the government.”
“Hey you can’t talk to Starlight like that,” Double Diamond yelled as Sugar Belle, Night Glider and Party Favor walked up to Neigh Nanners. “We know how bad Starlight was when she was revealed to be a fake prophet. We believed that she took away everything we stood for when we became a part of this cult.”
“Is that right?” Neigh Nanners said. “Or did Princess Celestia pay you to tell that fake story? Maybe that’s the reason why this so-called Equality Village deserves to be razed to the ground. It’s all so we can show the ponies of Equestria the whole truth, that even an individual can be bought by Princess Celestia to create a fake trial for Twilight and her friends.”
Double Diamond leaped out and attempted to get his hooves around Neigh Nanners, only for Night Glider, Party Favor and Sugar Belle to hold him back.
“Let me go,” Double Diamond yelled. “He’ll pay for putting innocent lives in danger.”
“Maybe you can tell the people that when they put you four on trial and throw you in Tartarus where you belong,” Neigh Nanners said.
Neigh Nanners looked to his left and saw Diamond Tiara, who looked like she was hiding behind Smolder.
“So this must be the daughter of Filthy and Spoiled Rich,” Neigh Nanners said. “Do you admit that your parents were working to fuel Princess Celestia’s agenda?”
“You stay away from me you big bully,” Diamond Tiara said as she hid her face in Smolder’s wing.
“So how does it feel to be bullied?” Neigh Nanners said. “To finally be exposed for what your parents did? For a so-called bully, you scare easily.”
“You heard what she said,” Smolder yelled. “Back off this instant.”
Neigh Nanners just laughed and said “Very well. But know that she will pay the consequences of her parent’s crimes.”
Smolder held Diamond Tiara by her side as she cried in the dragon’s wing. Neigh Nanners turned to his right, passing Double Diamond, Party Favor, Night Glider and Sugar Bell, where he sees Sunset Shimmer staring at him, with Trixie by her side.
“You have a lot of nerve making these false accusations at us that makes our previous sins look mild in comparison,” Sunset Shimmer said with a growl.
“Yeah,” Trixie said. “The Great and Powerful Trixie knows that you’re taking things too far.”
Neigh Nanners glanced down at Trixie and said “So this must be the Great and Powerful Trixie that rivaled Twilight Sparkle. Or rather a Fake and Powerless Trixie that was sent by Princess Celestia to create a fake rivalry with Twilight.”
“There is nothing fake about me or my previous rivalry with Twilight,” Trixie yelled. “I’ll go as far as to say that I used an Alicorn Amulet to pay Twilight back for my humiliation.”
“Or maybe Princess Celestia gave you a powered trinket that pretended to give you magic just to test Twilight Sparkle out,” Neigh Nanners said. “Face it. You’re just like all the other shills who were in on the conspiracy. And when the ponies of Equestria find out, even calling you a fake is too much of a complement.”
Trixie held her head back and looked as if she was about to cry. Sunset Shimmer stepped in front of Trixie and glared back at Neigh Nanners.
“How dare you take our past wrongs and twist them into a way that makes us look like willing participants,” Sunset said.
“And you must be Sunset Shimmer,” Neigh Nanners said. “They said you were Princess Celestia’s failed student who went to this human world all with a desire for power, and used this crown to become a she-devil.”
“I don’t take offense to what you said about me,” Sunset said. “I knew what I did was wrong, how I lost the trust of Canterlot High, and how I had to make up for my own past deeds.”
“I say you’re a LIAR!” Neigh Nanners said, causing Sunset Shimmer to back down in a confused pose.
“A liar?” Sunset said.
“You were never Princess Celestia’s failed student,” Neigh Nanners yelled. “You were just an agent sent by Celestia to create a fake world populated with so-called humans just to serve as another test for Twilight Sparkle.”
“Neither of us knew who Twilight Sparkle was in the first place,” Sunset snapped. “And how would she be able to create that world in the first place? And don’t tell me Discord, because he was frozen in stone during that time.”
“I do say Discord,” Neigh Nanners said. “He created that magic mirror and created those fake humans that resemble the ponies of Equestria, and sent you there to prepare Twilight Sparkle for her test. You were no villain, but a willing agent that worked for Princess Celestia’s real agenda.”
Sunset Shimmer looked like she was on the verge of tears. She turned her head away from Neigh Nanners and held her eyes to her arm.
“That is about enough from you, Mister,” Queen Novo yelled as she marched towards Neigh Nanners. “I’ve known Twilight Sparkle since I first met her. She made the mistake of trying to take my orb of transformation and….”
“But you knew Princess Celestia,” Neigh Nanners said as he interrupted Queen Novo.
“Yes I have,” Queen Novo said. “But that doesn’t excuse the fact that…”
“Don’t you defend Celestia’s agenda with your lies, Queen,” Neigh Nanners said. “And don’t tell me it was the work of the Storm King and his agents. You created the Storm King just to terrorize Equestria and to help Celestia test Twilight Sparkle.”
“I would NEVER create the Storm King,” Queen Novo yelled. “My people were traumatized by that monster and….”
“Was your people really that traumatized?” Neigh Nanners said. “Or were they fooled by a matriarch and her magic?”
Queen Novo stood there in complete shock by Neigh Nanners’ words. Princess Luna marched over to Neigh Nanners, who quickly turned his eyes to the Moon Princess.
“Don’t tell me you’re here to lecture me on my criticism towards these buffoons,” Neigh Nanners said. “You sound like you want to take away my free speech.”
“There is a responsibility when it comes to free speech, Mr Nanners,” Princess Luna said. “If I were your boss and you said that nonsense in front of my clients, I would have had you fired this instant.”
“Well maybe your clients needed to know the whole truth, Nightmare Moon,” Neigh Nanners said. “Or did you pretend to be Nightmare Moon just so you could get fake sympathy from your rabid followers.”
Luna backed off from Neigh Nanners and looked like she was about to cry. Neigh turned his attention towards Princess Celestia, who marched right towards him.
“That is about enough of your harsh tone, Mr Nanners,” Princess Celestia said. “You have gone flat out and insulted nearly everyone in this vicinity, and you are no longer welcomed in this castle.”
“I’m not done yet, Princess Celestia,” Neigh Nanners said. “Because I have a lot of words to say to you”
Celestia stared down at Neigh Nanners with her horn glowing violently before she said with a cold tone “Do not make me do this. And don’t even think of calling me a tyrant.”
“Oh please,” Neigh Nanners said. “Is that the words of a trusting Princess? Or a sniveling coward?”
“A coward?” Princess Celestia said as she backed off and her horn stopped glowing.
“That’s right, a coward” Neigh Nanners said. “A coward who works behind the scenes to undermine the will of the ponies all while you and your agents coddle and pamper Twilight Sparkle to be a successor just to maintain the status quo.”
“But you don’t understand,” Princess Celestia said. “What Luna and I have gone through, what Starswirl went through, what Twilight and her friends have gone through to earn the trust of the ponies of Equestria.”
“Oh I do understand the whole truth,” Neigh Nanners said. “The ponies of Equestria are slowly realizing that you were nothing more than a fraud, a phony, a coward, by creating these fake villains. Nightmare Moon was made by Princess Luna to gain her own set of fans, Discord is nothing more than your pet, Queen Chrysalis is actually a relative of yours pretending to be this species of pony, the same goes with King Sombra and Lord Tirek. Starlight and Sunset are your paid shills to test Twilight Sparkle. The Pony of Shadows never existed. Cozy Glow is actually your daughter who was sent to play Twilight’s game with those brats, the Storm King was a hoax, and don’t get me started on this…Grogar.”
“That is enough,” Celestia yelled. “You have no right to twist Equestrian history like that.”
“Oh I’m not the one twisting Equestrian history,” Neigh Nanners said. “You have been since the day you took the throne. And when all of Equestria finds out, the next thing you and your cohorts will find yourselves is crammed together inside a prison cell in Tartarus, remaining there for the rest of your miserable lives. The ponies of Equestria no longer need you, and they no longer want you. So deal with it, because the time of your judgement is NOW!”
The moment Neigh Nanners stopped speaked, Princess Celestia looked like she was reduced to tears. She struggled to hold it in before she ran off in another direction, crying.
“WAAAAAAAAAAH!” Celestia cried as she ran up the staircase and out the doorway.
Sunset Shimmer got up and ran after Princess Celestia, yelling out “Princess Celestia. Wait.”
As everyone watched Sunset Shimmer chase after Princess Celestia, Princess Luna turned towards Neigh Nanners. Her eyes burned with pure malice.
“You despicable rabble rouser,” Princess Luna said in a cold tone. “Get out, now. If you know what’s good for you.”
Neigh Nanners took a bow and said “As you wish.” He turned around and walked down the halls of the throne room and out towards the door.
Everyone just stood there completely dumbfounded. Pinkie PIe ran up to Princess Luna, who had her eye on the departing Neigh Nanners.
“What was up with that party crasher?” Pinkie Pie said. “He was giving off a kind of vibe that shut off my Pinkie sense.”
“I do not know,” Princess Luna said. “But this is the first time that a pony of his stature was able to bring Princess Celestia down to tears. Well in my own experience.”
Luna walked over to Starlight and Smolder, as the latter allowed Diamond Tiara to cry into her wing. Luna placed her hoof on Diamond Tiara’s shoulder.
“It’s okay,” Luna said. “The bad pony is gone.”
Diamond Tiara looked up at Princess Luna as Starlight Glimmer walked over to her side. Smolder rubbed Diamond on the forehead with a simple giggle.
“Thank you,” Diamond Tiara said as a few tears fell from her eyes. “Now I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of my own horrible words.”
“Diamond,” Apple Bloom said. “I know what words you said to us when we were blank flanks, and they paled in comparison to the rhetoric of that bad pony.”
“She’s right,” Starlight said. “Whatever you said to those three fillies, it’s nothing compared to what that guy said to all of us.”
“You really think so?” Diamond Tiara asked.
“You have our word, Diamond,” Apple Bloom said. “At least you knew that what you said was wrong. As for that jerk, I’d say he said that on purpose just to get a reaction.”
Apple Bloom reached out with her hoof towards Diamond Tiara, who did nothing but reach out and allow the apple filly to pull her over and give her a big hug.
Starlight and Luna watched with a smile on their faces before Queen Novo walked up to the two.
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” Queen Novo said. “But I’ve been concerned with that kind of energy that flowed from Neigh Nanners when he spoke.”
“I’ve been as well,” Princess Luna said. “I have never seen that kind of negative energy in my lifetime.”
“What do you suppose that was?” Starlight asked.
“I don’t know,” Princess Luna said. “But something tells me that we’re going to be in for a lot worse than what we realize.”
To Be Continued