//------------------------------// // Operation Rarijack // Story: Parent Trap // by PhantomBulwark //------------------------------// “Cortland!” Applejack’s voice called from the bottom of the stairs, “Get down here son, there’s sombody I want ya ta meet.” With a low groan Crispin rolled out of his brother’s sorry excuse of a bed and made his way down. “Wha’s up Ma?” He mumbled, rubbing sleep crust from his eyes. She snorted, “I apologize honey, he’s not usually this tired but Camp Everfree switched up his sleep schedule.” She turned from the pink and white haired woman to Crispin, “Cort, this is Vignette Valencia. She’s uh- She’s ma fiancée.” That got his attention. “FIANCEE?” He squawked, “What are you talking about?” He looked about the room, and wondered briefly if he was being Punk’d. “Now Cort, I’ve been on my lonesome since you were a baby. I’d like you and Vignette to get to know one another better okay?” “I’m sure we’ll get along swimmingly baby.” The woman cooed, “He’s so much like his mother.” If Vignette noticed Applejack’s flinch she didn’t comment on it. “Unfortunately I must run, influencing waits for no one.” Applejack seemed a bit put out, “ya ain’t gonna stay for dinner?” Crispin ignored them saying their goodbyes in favor of trying to get his burgeoning panic attack under control. The minute Vignette was out the door he excused himself. Dinner that night was a painfully awkward affair. His Aunt Dash’s arrival, with Aunt Pinkie in tow no less, saved him from an extended conversation with his Mom about her, uhg, fiancée. Once he had locked himself in his bedroom he called Cortland and brought him up to speed. “The plan will have to be accelerated.” He announced as soon Cortland answered the call, “We need to get Mother to Canterlot immediately.” “We’ve only been home a little over a week, what’s the rush?” Cortland asked, sounding miffed. “Mom has a girlfriend, no scratch that Mom has a fiancée. Cortland this is bad. When I came upstairs to call you Mom was talking about a wedding, a damn wedding! Soon too, like, within a month.” “Sorry.” Cortland muttered hoarsely, “did you just say fiancée? My head’s still stuck on that word… Ma’s never been interested in anyone! She’s never even been on a date!” “Well she certainly has now. And I do not like this Vignette woman, there’s something fishy about her.” “Vignette?” Cortland sputtered, “Vignette Valencia? But she’s just a consultant Sugar Belle hired to help us with branding. Why would she even be talking to Ma?” “Does it matter?” Crisp snapped, “Just bring Aunt Sunset up to speed. We need to get Mother to Canterlot ASAP. Hopefully we can get them in the same place. I’m going to keep Mom in the dark until you give me the go ahead.” “Alright.” “Whatever am I going to do?” Crispin whined to himself as the call ended. “I’m just one kid… how am I supposed to break up an engagement?!” “Something you need to get off your chest there kiddo?” He whirled around to face her with a squeak. “Uh.. Hey… Aunt Dash… A-Aunt Pinkie.” They were both staring at him. Pinkie’s brow was furrowed in confusion but Dash just looked amused. “You didn’t touch your pie,” Pinkie said quietly, “you love pie.” “He also just said ‘whatever am I going to do?’ in a super weird Canterlot-Manehatten mash-up accent.” Pinkie stepped a little closer, eyeing him carefully. “You’re shorter, the pie, the accent…” Her eyes blew wide, “I swear it’s almost like… like you’re-”. “Like I’m who?” “Never mind.” Dash cut in sharply, “it’s nothing.” She grabbed Pinkie's arm gently as if to pull her from the room and the slight waver in her tone made his chest ache. “Like I’m Crispin?” “You- you know about Crispin?!” She stammered, “But we- I?... How?” “I… I am Crispin.” “You’re…” Her eyes visibly welled with tears and Pinkie was already crying. “Hey y’all didja get lost or-” Applejack cut herself off, “Uh Dash? You girls alright? Why are ya lookin’ at Cort like that?” “L-like what?” Dash whimpered, “I’m not looking at him any special way. I-I’m looking at him how I always have. Since… Since the day you brought him home from the hospital. Eight… eight pounds and two ounces, twenty one inches long, this… this is how I-” She choked a bit and the tears finally fell. “This is how I look at him… Can I hug him?” Pinkie, who had been, uncharacteristically, silent the entire time broke into a bubbling half-sob half-laugh and yanked him and Rainbow into a fierce hug. “Just look at you.” She breathed so only he could hear, "just as perfect as the day we lost you.” Sunset groaned as a familiar ringtone broke her peaceful sleep, “Dash do you have any idea what time it is?” “You knew Crispin was here and didn’t tell us!!?” Pinkie and Rainbow had always had an uncanny ability to be perfectly in sync but it had been a while since they’d blown out her eardrums like this. “He told you?” “Yeah he told us!” Dash huffed, “just like you should have the minute you found out. Now spill! How did this even happen?” Resigning herself to a sleepless night, Sunset relayed the insane plan to Pinkie and Rainbow as best she could. “Well we’re in.” Rainbow proclaimed as soon as Sunset fell silent. “Obviously.” “Duh.” Pinkie cheered, “Applejack cannot marry Vignette Valencia. She’s like, totally and completely evil.” “I-uh… don’t know if I’d go that far Pinks,” Sunset cautioned. “I overheard her on the phone last week, she was talking about how once Cortland is out of the way she can talk Applejack out of her share of Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack has the majority ownership, which is why she can make all the decisions. She mentioned boarding school.” Sunset groaned, “Okay... definitely straight up Disney villain evil then. Did you, by chance, mention this to AJ?” “She thinks I must have misheard or made it up…” Pinkie’s hair seemed to lose some of its curl, “she yelled at me.” “Alright!” Dash clapped her hands together decisively, “Operation Rarijack is a go!” “We are so not calling it that,” Sunset growled.