"Home sweet home!"William swung the door of his house aside, letting Joey in.
"It's...nice." Joey said uncomfortably as he looked at the bland brown and grey walls, lined with firearms, military hardware, and canned food, on the eastern side of the living room lay the only paintings in sight, a photo of a lone solider, treading his way through what appeared to be a redwood forest. Ponies were usually creatures of color, they loved painting's, and extravagant interior decorations in general. William, was the near exact opposite, but then again, he was no pony. And last but not least, a bookshelf, half empty.
"That's a lie, sit down."
the 2 off them slumped back on William's couch, Joey had a half dozen pancakes, topped with syrup and daisies. William, had a hashbrown, and a cup of coffee.
"Mm, so what plans you got for later?" Joey asked William in between bites of his food.
"I'm not saying, be lucky I invited you, most ponies will never step foo-hoof in here, least not while I'm around to defend this place, does Equestria have castle law? Actually, don't answer that."
"I wasn't planning too." He responded. William rolled his eyes and set his empty plate aside.
"Thing about this world, there's no routine. It's either keeping the six and they're compatriots in check, or you, or mercilessly beating some poor monster to death with bullets, or hiking." William paced back in forth behind the couch.
"Well, there is one thing." He turned to Joey.
"How'd you like to learn how to shoot?"
"Uh, that wasn't really what I was planning, but since you're clearly desperate for social interaction, I'll go along with it, besides, I've always wondered what you're obsession's stemmed from."
"Well, lets go." William unlocked the back door, and stepped outside. He spotted a tree, 20 yards away from the back porch, with a big, round, smooth trunk. Perfect for target practice. He walked up to it, drew a hatchet, and carved a jagged bullseye into it, then paced back to Joey.
"Alright... what now?" William chuckled, and an Ruger 9MM carbine appeared in his grasp, unloaded, of course.
"Ruger carbine, low recoil, fun size caliber, accurate, perfect for newcomers like you." He went to hand it to his friend, then stopped.
"Oh, you don't...you don't have hands, right, any chance you can hold it with that magic of yours?"
"I can try." A blue glow engulfed both Joey's horn, and the weapons stock, William yanked it back before he could fully grasp it.
"First, couple basic rules. Just so you don't accidentally shoot me."
1. Treat every gun you hold as if it was loaded, meaning don't go finicking around with the mechanisms unless I give the ok.
2. Do not point the muzzle at anything you do not intend to destroy.
3. Keep a firm grip on it with your magic.
4. My firearms, my rules, this is a one time deal, got that?
Joey paused for a moment, and gave William a firm nod of affirmation.
"Good, here you go." William loosed his grip on the carbine, and it flew into Joey's gasp, hovering at his eye level. A magazine of 9MM full metal jacket range ammunition appeared in William's hands. He helped Joey seat it firmly in the chamber.
"Now, rack the bolt." Joey did as told.
"Alright, now, look through the iron sights, line up the front sights, with the back ones- Great, just like that! Now, aim for the center of that bullseye I carved over there. Wait, one more thing before you fire." Williams body was engulfed in a flash of emerald green light, when it faded, he was covered from head to toe in bomb technician armor.
"Just a precaution, now, fire!" Joey winced, and squeezed the trigger with his magic, the carbine jolted back slightly, sending the 9x 19 MM projectile into the tree, roughly 20 yards away.
"How'd I do?" William examined the tree, his friend had struck the target 3 inches left of center mass.
"pretty good, for a first timer, by the way, you're free to mag dump the remaining 14 rounds." William hurried back behind Joey, and gave I'm the ok to keep firing, one by one, the rounds left the muzzle smacking the tree. Eventually, the weapon clicked on empty, and the weapon disappeared from Joey's grasp.
"That's enough, don't want you getting to good, oh what am I saying, they're my guns." Joey laughed alongside him.
"That was awesome William, tell you what, you thought me to shoot, how about I teach you to fly?" Williams demeanor changed in an instant.
"You're implying about turning me into a - no. Just no." He started back into the house.
"Sooner or later, you're going to say yes, I know you will. "Besides, even if you don't I could always ask Twilight to do it, or,
ya'know?' He gestured to his horn.
"Don't even think about it. Don't make me regret teaching you about my favorite pastime." Joey shrugged, and trotted past him to leave. When all of a sudden, there was a knock at the front door.
"Hold it Joey." William stepped forward, and peered through the eyehole. It was Rainbow Dash, Starlight, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Applejack.
"Hey, William, we need your help with something!" Rainbow shouted. He unlocked the door, and swung it open.
"What?"
"We think we have a lead on our missing students-"
"What missing students? And how the hell did y'all get back here so fast!?" Pinkie rushed through an explanation of what he had missed.
"And you're following Sandbar around, hopping he leads you to them, and you want me to help you?"
"Yes, quickly, before he gets away!"
"Finally you ask me to do something I'm interested in!" His forest pattern BDU fatigues where replaced by a similarly colored set of battle kit, what he referred to a 'casual wear' much to Rarities displeasure. He stepped outside.
"Well? Lead the way." He beckoned for them to go on ahead.
"Should we be worried he looks a little to excited?" Applejack asked the rest.
"You ought to let him be." Joey informed the rest of the group, "I'd be best if you let him have his fun, however odd it may be."
William prowled through the bushes, watching as Sandbar headed out of town, carrying a stack of cupcake boxes, and dragging a set of carts behind him. The six, and Joey where close behind. He watched as the lone Earth pony made his way towards the Everfree.
"Now what do we have here?" He popped out of the treeline.
"It's you!? Y-you're not still mad at me are you?" He stuttered.
"Nah, I see you've got yourself some cupcakes, you headin' back to your friends?" He could see the nervousness in his eyes.
"Hey, don't worry about it, i couldn't help but notice you were heading for the Everfree forest, mind if I come with you?" The pony backed up, and slowly nodded.
"Great, tell you what, give me a few of those boxes, I'll carry 'em for you, don't expect any more sympathy from me though." The 2 of them headed into the forest.
"Heh, Iove this place, it's quiet, ominous, and quiet. Plus, nopony in they're so called 'right mind' would ever go in here fore fun." William continued as they drew deeper into the forest.
"There." Sandbar pointed to a collection of overgrown ruins in the distance.
"Heh, I was just here last night, I love this place." William said, picking up pace. Finally, he heard a voice call out.
"Hey, guys! Sandbars back, and, oh..." It was Silverstream. He watched as the ancient, crumbling wooden door swung open, revealing the 4 missing students.
"Oh, its you." The rest of them paused.
"What do you want?" Smolder demanded.
"Well, as it happens, I love this place, heck, I'm here every night. Plus, you're far more competent then those other idiots back in Ponyville.
"Eh fair enough." he watched as the group made for the carts.
"hey, you want one?" Sandbar held out a Cupcake.
"Sure." He snatched, and ate it, slowly.
"Oh by the way, Ocellus, sorry for the whole, 'trying to blow you out of the sky' thing, you've got to understand, Changelings
and I have a very...lets just go with 'sore' history."
"Eh it was nothing, thanks for apologizing."
"Hey, pillow fight!" He leaned back on an old tree stump, watching as the group of creatures enjoyed themselves.
"I wish the other changelings could meet you all, you're not nearly as strange as the stories say."
"Gee, thanks, but yeah, hanging out with other creatures is actually... not bad." William grunted in disapproval, he turned to see a furry ball of... something roll out from the bushes. It unfolded to reveal a small, sloth looking creature.
"-The hell?" William stood up.
"Uh, what's that thing?" Sandbar asked.
"Ugh, am I the only one who didn't sleep thorough professor Fluttershy-"
"Professor!? Hah! You've got to be joking me, her? Damnit Twilight, what did I say?" He cursed under his breath.
"Anyway, its a puckwage."
"What the ####?Who's in charge of naming in this world?!"He gripped his rifle.
"Maybe I can make friends with it!" Ocellus continued. William facepalmed.
"It's herefoth called dollar store sloth, any objections?"
"Uh, what's a dollar store?" Sandbar asked.
"Er, that's complicated. Go on, poke the damn, thing already."
"Alright..." The changeling transformed into one, and approached the small creature.
"Heh, hi there-" It growled, and several of its brethren jumped out of the bushes.
"Opps." A malicious smile crossed Williams face, he raised the M4 to his shoulder, changed the firemode of his rifle to full auto, and sprayed the group of small, quilled creatures with lead. Their growls turned to squeals of pain and terror, only to be silenced.
"That was the most fun I've had in a long, long time!" William exclaimed, admiring his work. All 18 of the small colorful beings lay dead on the ground, riddled with bullet holes. He looked back to find the young 6, frozen in shock.
"Ya welcome." He murmured, approaching one of the bloody corpses, he gave it a kick, sure enough, they were dead. He ejected the empty magazine from his rifle, slammed a fresh one into it, and cycled the action, once more more hearing the comforting sound of a 5.56 round being chambered.
"I'd recognize the sound of gunfire anywhere, William!" He heard Joey's voice call though the brush.
"Hey guy's, found your 'missing students' Oh, by the way, sorry about the mess, I'll clean it up later." He watched a Twilight examined them.
"Is evercreture alright?"
"Yes, thank him." Smolder pointed back at William.
"Good job, I knew you where useful." Twilight joked.
"You know, this might not be the safest place for a campout." Starlight said. William glared over at Joey.
"Not a word."
"Does that mean you're going to send us back to our homes? "Ocellus asked.
"Not exactly, I have another option in mind."
"We're listening. "Gallus said.
"It's pretty clear you've already started learning friendship without your teachers, but we'd like to show you even more, if you come back to school." William snapped his fingers.
"Listen, you can't just 'learn' friendship, that would be implying its an actual talent. This is not the case, anyone can do it, just by being here, you're already learned everything there is to learn. It's up to you, go with her, or not, I don't care." The young 6 looked at each other, then turned back to Twilight.
"Not much of a choice."
"To be honest, we felt the same way when Twilight told us she was reopening the school."
"But this time, we guarantee it shall be different. "William held up his hand before things could go any farther.
"I take it you've gone to hell with the E.E.A guidelines?"
"In a manner of speaking, yes." Starlight said.
"Great, lets go."
The group of creatures stood around the magically sealed entrance of the school. Twilight stepped up to it, and began charging her horn.
"Twilight, I was so relived to get your letter!" Celestia landed before the group, with the ambassadors of the other kingdoms in tow.
"As was queen Novo, oh we're just glad you're alright Silverstream."
"Don't expect a welcome party from me sonny! It's tie you got home!" The Gruff grabbed Gallus by the scruff.
"I'm not leaving."
"What?"
"None of us are."
"Yak doesn't understand, this pony joke?"
"How, you can't even get inside!"
"My turn." William set a 57 MM recoiless rifle on his shoulder, and took aim.
"Backblast clear!" He yelled, pulling the trigger, when the dust cleared, the seal lay in tatters on the ground. A cheer rose up from the group.
"Who dared remove my seal?" A shimmering blue portal appeared where the seal once was, the E.E.A chancellor emerged from it.
"I did! #### off!!!" William approached him, and backhanded the chancellor in the face, right where his bruise was, knocking him back through the portal.
"Burn in Tartarus." He whispered as the portal closed, he whipped back around to face the crowd.
"Well, school's back in session."
"I trust you'll deal with him?" He whispered into Celestia's ear, she shot him a confused glace.
"One last thing, anycreture have a banjo?"
"Sure, why?" Pinkie tossed him one. William cleared his throat, and began walking around from the group.
"To the town of Ponyville
strolled a stranger one fine day
hardly spoke to folks around him
didn't have to much to say
nopony dared to ask his business
nopony dared to make a slip
the stranger there among them had a big iron on his hip..."