“What the hay?” I stomped my hoof on the floor. “Are you kidding me?”
Seated behind his desk, the precinct captain shook his head. “No. He was released a couple hours ago.”
I paced to the closed office door and back to the desk, half-talking to myself. “But we know he started that fire. His legs were burned, for Celestia's sake.”
The captain leaned back in his chair. “He still claims it was an accident, and he burnt his legs trying to put it out.”
I turned to face him. “Yeah, an accident, like I accidentally ate breakfast this morning.”
He lifted his hooves. “Still, we can't prove it was intentional.”
“We know he had an altercation with the shop owner a couple days prior. He said the shop would be out of business in a week. That’s a clear threat in my book. The building was half destroyed, and all his inventory ruined. That’s making good on that threat.” I shook my head. “That was no accident.”
The captain looked down at a paper on his desk. “The parents have agreed to repair the building, replace all the damaged inventory, and pay all lost wages during reconstruction.”
“So they’re buying him off.” I snorted loudly. “Just because they're rich, they can bail the little snot out? What kind of justice is that?”
He shrugged. “The shop owner is satisfied and won't press charges. The son’s going to get off with probation.”
I pointed at the captain. “When the next place goes up in flames, I’ll find proof that it was intentional. Mommy and daddy won’t be able to save him twice. And you know it will happen. Sooner or later, it’s going to happen again.” I slammed my hoof to the floor.
“Umm, Steel, about you investigating if there’s a next time…” He rubbed the back of his neck.
“What? Oh, buck me.”
“I'm afraid the higher-ups have been receiving pressure. The couple are two very influential ponies in both government and economic circles.”
“No…” I could feel myself getting a little lightheaded as I realized where this was going.
“They've called for your removal from the force. They claim you had a vendetta against their son.”
“I had a solid case. Everyone agreed I had a solid case.” I pointed at the captain. “You, yourself called it good detective work.”
“I know.” He shook his head, not meeting my gaze.
I raised a hoof towards the ceiling. “So, the road apples roll downhill and land on me?”
He looked up again. “I'm sorry, Steel. It's totally out of my hooves. The couple demanded something showy. They wanted the chief to come down here and do it himself, but I convinced him that it would be both bad publicity and terrible for morale. So the chief told the couple he was not going to do it personally.”
“Probably made himself a target too.” I snorted in frustration.
He nodded. “The couple then called for his and my resignation. I understand he explained to them just where they could put that request.”
I held out a hoof. “So that's it?”
“I'm afraid so. I'm sorry. You'll need to turn in your badge and clean out your desk. I demanded a full month's severance for you. And you haven't taken a vacation day in years, so all that time will also be paid out to you.”
I stared at the floor as everything around me seemed to freeze. As far back as I can remember, all I wanted to do was be a cop. As I got older, I modified that to being a detective. Much of my life had been focused on that one goal. And when I achieved it, I knew, I absolutely knew I was right where I belonged. While the job was about catching the bad guys, my passion was always about helping ponies. Ponies who were at the lowest point in their lives. Ponies with no one else to help them. I blinked a couple times as the office came back into focus.
And now, in an instant, all that was being stripped away. As I removed my badge from my saddlebag, it felt like I was cutting off a leg. It was a part of me, and I felt that loss deep in my gut as I gently set the badge on the captain’s desk. My hoof lingered over it for a moment.
Without a word or making eye contact, I turned and headed towards the door. As I reached it, I stopped, but didn’t turn around. “Look, captain, I know this wasn’t your fault. I don’t hold it against you.”
“So, we’re good?” There was a certain hopefulness in his voice. I could understand that. While we weren’t friends, I’d known him since I joined the force. He acted as a mentor those first couple years. I respected him.
I glanced back at him and sighed. “Yeah, we’re good.” I walked out of the office. I wanted to slam the door so hard it would tear the door frame right out of the wall. As an earth pony, I was strong enough to do just that. However, I was defeated. There was no fight left in me. I gently closed the door and headed towards my desk.
I felt adrift in a sea of emotions. Waves of feelings crashed over me: anger, rage, sadness, and especially loss. If I couldn’t hold it together, I’d be swamped by them. I didn’t know what would happen then, what I’d do if I sank. What I might be capable of doing.
Citrine was waiting for me. She’d been a friend for some years. We’d even gone out a few times. Not romantically, just as friends. And that’s what she was now, a friend.
“I’m so sorry, Steel. This isn’t right. No one here thinks this is right.” She reached out to touch me, but stopped short. She glanced between me and her hoof as her tail swished a couple times. Were the situation reversed, I wouldn’t have a clue what to say or do either.
“So you, everypony, they all know?” I glanced around the room.
“News travels fast in this place. Plus that office isn’t exactly soundproof.” She waved a hoof in its direction.
“Yeah, I was probably the last one to find out what was actually happening to me.” I noticed a cardboard box sitting on my chair. I tapped it. “You?”
She nodded. “Yes. This mess is bad enough. You didn’t need to be forced to look around for a stupid box to put your stuff in.”
“Thanks,” I whispered. Citrine had always been attentive and sensitive to those around her. That skill was useful when interviewing traumatized victims of crime. Now I was the one in shock and in need of a little empathy.
I took a couple pictures and some trinkets off the desk and set them in the box. I opened one of the file drawers. Most of this and everything in the other drawer would go to the ponies who took over my pending cases.
I picked up two small ornate wooden boxes and opened one. These were medals of valor for actions while on duty. This particular one had been awarded by Princess Celestia herself. That had been an amazing day. It was a great honor, but… it was also a production. They paraded everyone out on that stage as great heroes. We were all just emergency service ponies doing our job. What we were trained to do. And not for a medal, but because it was important.
I closed the box and picked up the other one. They made a loud clunk as they hit the bottom of the trash can.
Citrine looked at me wide-eyed. “Steel? You can’t just throw those away. They’re so special. They’re an important part of your life.”
I spat out, “They weren’t important enough to help me keep my job, were they?” She took a step back. I paused and looked down at the floor. I could feel the eyes of everypony in the room on me. “Sorry. I’m sorry. They’re just… They’re for events that no one remembers,” I closed my eyes and shook my head, “or cares about.”
“I remember. And I know the ponies you saved still care.” Her voice was pleading.
I just shrugged. I pulled out a folder and opened it. It was full of various certificates and letters of commendation. The sum total of my career, documented on a few sheets of fancy paper. There was a soft thunk as they joined the two boxes. Citrine looked from the trash can up to me. Tears welled up in her eyes. That look pierced me, and I flinched. I’d never intentionally do anything to hurt her. Never. But just like everything else today, it was out of my hooves.
I pulled out another folder. This was full of contacts and informants I’d generated over the years. These ponies knew me. The list would be useless to anypony else. Let them generate their own contacts. I’m not sure why, but I added it to my box. So many years reduced to an almost empty box. I looked back at Citrine with a heavy sigh.
“Steel, you’re not going to do anything stupid, are you? You won’t try and hurt…” Her eyes squinted as she scrutinized me.
“No.” I shook my head. “I’m not going to try and get even. I won’t hurt anypony.”
She stomped a hoof. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it! You’re not going to try and hurt…” a shadow crossed her face as she forced out the next word, “yourself, are you?”
I just stared back at her. My mind raced. That sense of loss flooded over me again. I’m not really sure what I might be capable of doing. But then I remembered that look she had a few moments ago. It tore at me again. How much worse would it be if I...
She stepped forward until we were almost muzzle to muzzle. “Steel, promise me you won’t do anything you can’t take back. You’ve never lied to me. So you promise. Right now.”
I wanted to turn away, to escape, but I couldn’t. “Okay, I promise. I won’t do anything stu… I won’t do... that.” I meant it too.
Her gaze remained locked on me for a bit, then she took a step back. A slight smile crossed her lips. “Okay then. You keep in touch with me. I don’t want you vanishing off the face of Equestria. Another promise?”
“Yes, I promise. I just can’t say how regular it’ll be.” I sighed. “Thanks, Citrine, you’re a good friend.”
With that, I placed the box of salvaged belongings on my back and headed towards the exit. There weren’t many ponies in the squad room at this time of day, but those who were around gave me a nod or raised a hoof as I crossed the large room. They all looked sad. In a perverse way, I was glad, because it meant they cared, at least a little. When I reached the door, I glanced back for a moment. Citrine was still at my desk, levitating things out of the trash can. I shook my head and walked out.
It didn’t take me long to establish a new daily routine. Mid-evening I’d make my way to one of a number of questionable establishments where I’d spend the next few hours working to forget what a dung pit my life had become. Around 2:00 AM I’d stumble home where I’d sleep until at least noon. A couple meals and a bunch of aspirin later, and I’d be ready to do it all again. The days were beginning to blur, and I liked it. I was feeling satisfied with the progress I was making.
My only doubt was if I was, perhaps, meandering a bit too close to the edge of my promise to Citrine. But I honestly wasn’t trying to hurt myself. In fact, it was the exact opposite. It was a well thought out plan to stop the hurting.
I was heading home after another successful evening. Just my luck. It was raining... hard. I suppose I could have checked the weather report and stayed home, but that would have put me a full day behind. Besides, this would count as my shower for the week. The rain poured off my back and down my legs. I shivered. What’s the worst that could happen, catch pneumonia and die? “I've had worse days,” I mumbled to myself.
As I passed by the opening to an alley, I heard a noise. Perhaps a cry, or a whine? It was hard to hear clearly over the driving rain. Probably some cat that, like me, didn’t make it home before the rain started. I kept walking. Then some deep cop sixth sense assaulted me. I shook my head to push it away. I don’t care. I don’t do that anymore. But it came back even louder like a blaring fire alarm. Those instincts had saved my life more than once. That inner voice was really hard to ignore. I stopped walking. I don’t need this. I don’t want this. I’m not going to do this. I sighed, turned around, and went back to the alley.
As I peered in, I couldn’t make out much with the rain and darkness. Just a vague shadow. It was too big for a cat. Perhaps a dog? I took a few steps in, and in the faint light I could make out a light blue-green unicorn filly huddled in a corner between the wall and a large box. Her bright red mane was soaked, plastered against her body. Her red tail lay in a puddle of water. Her head was down, and water trickled off the end of her muzzle. I heard a soft sob.
I’d guess lost or hiding. Though this young, in this rain, it’s not by choice. “Hey, kid, what are you doing out here in the rain? Are you lost?” She didn’t respond or even look up. Yeah, that was pretty dumb. Of course she’s lost. I’ve never been good with kids. I just can’t seem to speak at their level.
“Come on, kid, you can’t sit out here in the rain. Let’s get you someplace dry.” No response. I couldn’t very well throw her on my back, and just walking away wasn’t something I was willing to do. So I took the only option left to me: I sat down in the puddle next to her. I was already soaked, so it couldn’t get any worse.
After a few moments, she raised her head just enough to glance at me with large violet eyes, then dropped it again. I took off my saddlebag and shifted my position to get a bit more comfortable. My rump was wet, my head was pounding, and I was sitting in the rain with a mute filly. The fun never ends here in the Jewel of Equestria.
“Hey, kid, you hungry?” Her head came up just enough for her to peek at me through the tops of her eyes. I opened my saddlebag and pulled out an oat bar I knew was in there. I ripped it open with my teeth and passed it to her. She grabbed it like a fox would prey and devoured it in just a few bites. The empty wrapper fluttered to the ground. A mouse scurried out to grab any crumbs that had fallen. Then the filly raised her head higher to look directly at me.
I shrugged. “I think that’s all I had.” I glanced in the bag again, nothing. I flipped it around and checked the other pocket. As I dug down deep, the filly leaned forward to peer into the bag. At the very bottom I found another bar. I tore it open. “Last one. The store’s closed.”
She ate this one with more restraint, taking reasonable bites and chewing them before swallowing. When she finished, she whispered, “Thanks,” without looking up.
We sat in silence for a few minutes. I decided to see if I could connect. “You have a name?” Nothing. “Do you live around here?” More nothing. “Where are your mom and dad?” She scrunched down and let out a soft moan. Yup, you still got a way with kids there, Steel.
After a while longer, I decided I’d had enough. I was going to gamble that she didn’t want to be sitting out here all alone in the rain. “Look, I’m cold, I’m wet, and I’m tired. I’m going home. You can come with, or you can sit in your puddle.” I didn’t want to bring some strange filly home, but there was no place I could take her at this time of night. Or was it morning? I was never totally sure when the transition from very late to very early happened.
I stood up, put my saddlebag on, and exited the alley. Water from my soaked rump ran down my legs. My tail was heavy and dripping. I paused for a moment, then turned and started walking slowly towards home. After a few paces, I glanced back to see her following from a distance. The gamble had paid off. I stopped to let the filly catch up, but she also stopped. I sighed and continued on. Each step created a small splash. I shook my head to get my wet mane out of my eyes.
When I reached the apartment building, I entered the foyer and started up the stairs. I should probably have cared about the trail of water I was leaving behind me, but I didn’t. Partway up, I heard the door hinges squeak behind me. She was still back there, although I didn't look. At my floor, I went down the hall to my room, unlocked it, and flicked on an inside light. I turned around and saw the filly standing a few paces away. Small puddles were forming at the base of each of her hooves.
“I’m going in and locking the door. Come in now, or don’t.” She held her ground for a moment, then slowly came forward. She peered around the corner into the room, then up at me, and, finally, walked in. I followed, closing and locking the door. I went into my bedroom for a second and came back out.
“Here’s a towel so you can dry off.” I set it on the coffee table. “And here’s a blanket.” I tossed it on the couch. “That’s comfortable, and large enough for you.” I pointed at an open door. “Bathroom. Be sure to close both doors.” I turned and walked to my room. “Good night. And you’re welcome.” I went in and closed the door down to just a crack.
I squinted at the brightness. It felt like I’d only just shut my eyes, but the angle of the sun through the window told me it was probably almost noon. Suddenly, I heard some noises from the kitchen and tensed up. There was someone in the apartment. Then I remembered, lost filly. I closed my eyes as I waited for my heartrate to drop. After a quick stop in the bathroom, I trudged out the other door to the main room of the apartment
The filly was up on her hind legs at the stove. She dropped down as I approached. “I made pancakes. I heard you were up and started yours. They’ll be ready in a minute.” The filly paused for a moment. “I tried really hard to be quiet so you could sleep.” She lowered her head and dropped her ears as if expecting to be yelled at. I hoped that was not an indication of her home life.
“Sounds great. I don’t usually get a real breakfast.” Her head came partway up with a slight smile.
I walked along the counter. No spills, no big mess, no disaster. There were a few things sitting in the sink, rinsed and waiting to be washed. I moved to the table and sat down. There was a pitcher of apple juice on the table. I gave her a sideways glance, and she explained, “I found a can of concentrate in the freezer, so I mixed it up. I hope that’s okay…”
“It’s fine. We can’t drink it frozen.” I poured myself a glass and downed it in a couple gulps. It didn’t have the bite of my usual nighttime beverage, but it still tasted good. She went back to the stove, stood on her hind legs again, and used a spatula to flip the pancakes. I did a double take. She used magic to hold the spatula. That seemed pretty advanced for a filly her age. Although, I don’t have any experience with kids, especially unicorn fillies. Perhaps it was normal.
I sat in silence and waited. I was going to take this slow. I had to establish some kind of rapport or she’d shut down as she had in the alley. Nice and easy, Steel.
She put the pancakes on a plate and levitated it to the table, setting it down in front of me. I added some syrup. I prepared myself. She looks like she knows how to cook a few pancakes, but no matter how they taste, I needed to keep a neutral expression. Remember, build trust, establish a rapport. I cautiously took a bite and chewed. I could feel her eyes on me… watching. My mouth was assaulted by the taste. It was good. I took another, larger bite. It was really good.
“These aren't half bad” I got out between bites. “How’d you learn your way around a kitchen?”
She sat down in a chair across from me and took a sip from her half empty glass of juice. “My daddy’s gone a lot. He taught me how to cook so I could make my own meals when he was away. I learned how to clean up too so he didn’t have a mess when he got home. It was always so late.”
I finished my breakfast in silence. “Well, that was really tasty. Thank you.” I stood up, grabbing my plate. “What's say we do the dishes together and get them put away?”
Once we were done, I moved to the living room and sat down at one end of the couch. She stood in the kitchen, watching me. I patted the cushion. “You can come sit too, if you want.” She slowly walked in and jumped up. Rather than facing forward, she sat at the other end facing me.
“So, what’s your name?” She didn’t respond. “Come on, kid, I let you stay in my apartment and eat my food. You owe me a little something. All I’m asking for is your name.”
“Windflower,” she said softly.
“Windflower. Okay. I’m Dark Steel. Nice to meet you.” She just stared. “What’s your mom’s name?”
Her ears dropped, and she looked down at her hooves. Okay, looks like the mom’s out of the picture. “What’s your dad’s name?”
She raised her head again. “Daddy.”
I sighed. I wonder what age foals need to be before they realize their parents have actual names too. “All right, let’s see about getting you home to your dad.” She perked up a little at that. “Do you know your home address?” Her interest fell away as she lowered her head. “You… you don’t know where you live?”
She shook her head. “We just moved there.”
“I see, okay. I’m going to take you down to the Canterlot Police Station so they can try--”
Her reaction was instant. She screamed, “No!” and jumped down to the floor. She bolted for the door, but couldn’t undo the lock. She looked like a trapped animal. After a wild look around the room, she dove behind a large stuffed chair in the corner and dropped down out of sight.
Why was she so afraid of the police? Most schools teach foals to go to the police if they need help or are lost. They’re always portrayed as friendly ponies who can help you get home safely. That’s clearly not what this filly believed.
I sat quietly, looking straight ahead and not at the chair she was hiding behind. After a few moments, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw her head appear above the chair, then drop down. A couple minutes later, she did it again. Then I saw her peek around the side of the chair. I slowly turned my head towards her.
“Are you afraid of the police?”
“Uh-huh.” She nodded.
“But they can help.”
She violently shook her head.
I lifted a leg. “Okay, okay. We won’t go to the police right now. Perhaps we can just talk some more?” She didn’t respond, but she took a step forward so she was only half behind the chair.
“Windflower. That’s a pretty name. How did you get it?”
“I was named after a great unicorn wizard who lived a thousand years ago. She was very powerful and saved Equestria with Princess Celestia. My daddy said I’m descended from her, and that my coat and mane are the same colors as her. That’s why they named me after her.”
I nodded. “Well, that sounds like a fun story.” I had to wonder how much of that was true versus a foal’s bedtime story.
She stomped her hoof. “It’s not a story. It’s all true. My daddy would tell me all about her before bed.” She paused to take a breath. “We even went to see her journal once.” Her voice went softer. “I wish I could see it again.”
I tilted my head a little. “Journal? What journal? Where?”
Her body relaxed. “It’s in the museum of ponies.”
“Museum of ponies?” I glanced up as I thought. “I don’t… Wait. You mean the Canterlot Museum of Pony History?”
“I think so? We only went once when I was small.”
“You’re kinda small now.” I grinned.
She took a couple steps towards me and stomped a hoof again. “Am not! I can cook and take care of myself. I can get to school and home again. I do my own homework. Daddy says I’m a big mare now.” She snorted once, glaring at me.
I raised my legs defensively. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say you were a little filly.”
But she was a little filly. At least I was making some progress. I’d converted her from scared to defiant. Now if I could just nudge her to be a tiny bit more compliant, perhaps I could make some progress.
“So, you go to school. Do you know where it is?” She shook her head. “Do you know the name of the school?” Another shake.
Suddenly, her eyes lit up. “I know my teacher’s name. It’s Miss Peach. She’s really nice and smart. Class with her is fun, and I learn lots of stuff. But it’s kind of useless stuff like words and numbers, not important stuff like my daddy teaches me.”
She wants to help, she just doesn’t remember anything useful. Much like questioning a suspect, I just need to find the right way in. Let’s try a different approach building on things she does know. “What’s your school look like?”
“It’s a big brick building. It has a playground on one side. There are swings, teeter totters, and stuff to climb on. There's a big sandbox to play in too.” A hint of a smile appeared. “I have fun there.”
Good… now we build on that. “You say you walk to school. How do you find your way?”
She closed her eyes as she recited instructions. “In the morning, I go to the right two blocks, turn right, and two more blocks. In the afternoon, it’s two, left, two more.” She opened her eyes again.
“That’s great! Is there anything you remember on the way?”
She shook her head. “No, I don’t think so.”
“What about a special building, or park, or perhaps a statue?”
Her face was getting tight with frustration. “I don’t know.”
“Perhaps something else then. Anything that stands out to you.”
It was too much, and she broke. “I don’t know. I don’t know!” She reared up and slammed both hooves on the floor. “We just moved there. I don’t know.” She sobbed once.
“I’m sorry, kid. I’m just trying to help. I didn’t mean to upset you with all those questions.” I sighed to myself. You blew it, Steel. You pushed too hard, and lost her. I needed some help. I need to talk to Citrine, but without the filly. Perhaps a little bribery...
“Okay. Well, we need to try and find your dad. I’ll make you a deal. How’d you like to go see that journal today?”
Her eyes went wide as did her smile. “Oh, can we really? I’d like to do that. But… what’s the catch?”
“I need to go see somepony for a bit, but it’s important that you stay here. So if you’ll wait until I get back, then I’ll take you to go see the journal.”
She nodded enthusiastically, “I can do that!”
“Great. So, will you wait right here for me? Will you be okay by yourself?”
“Yes, yes.” She pranced in place a few times.
“Good. I’m trusting you now. Hopefully no more than thirty minutes.”
Be it a blessing or a curse, I was only about a ten minute walk from the precinct. I used an easy canter to cut that significantly. When I arrived, I saw a couple officers heading in and asked them if they could send Detective Citrine out. They knew me and readily agreed.
In mere moments, the pale yellow unicorn practically flew out the front door of the building. She slid to a stop before spotting me.
“Steel, where have you been?” She trotted up to where I was standing and stomped a hoof which hit the edge of a puddle left over from the night’s rain. I felt the splash of water on my front legs. “You said you’d keep in touch.” She moved closer, her hot breath in my face. “But it’s been weeks.”
I hung my head. “I know. I should have dropped by. I’ve just been real… busy.” She squinted at me, and I had an awful feeling she knew. Thinking about it, I wouldn’t put it past her to have beat cops keeping an eye out for me. She just might know more about my plan than I wanted.
I took a step backwards and away from that glare. “Citrine, I have a problem.”
She hissed, “Several, I should think.”
I winced at the barb, but I couldn’t say she was wrong. I took a breath and continued, “Last night in the storm, I found a lost filly in an alley a few blocks over. She’s pretty young. I wanted to bring her here today, but she absolutely freaked out when I mentioned the police. She’s had a bad experience, and bringing her here wouldn’t work.” Citrine’s face softened, and her brows knit in worry. “So, could you please check all the missing foal reports and see if anything mentions a lost filly? Her name is Windflower. She has a light blue-green coat, a bright red mane and tail, and violet eyes. I think the mom is gone, perhaps deceased. But the dad should be around.” I was relieved to get the focus off me. This was more important anyway.
“Sure, I can do that. How do you want me to let you know what I find?”
I tried to consider a schedule that didn’t actually exist. “If you locate him, I guess you can bring him to my apartment tonight. Otherwise I’ll swing by in the morning. Somepony should be very anxious to find this filly.”
She nodded. “Okay, I’ll get right on this.”
“Thanks, Citrine.” I mindlessly glanced over my shoulder in the direction of my apartment. “I need to get back now. We’re going to a museum to see some old journal. I’m hoping as I build her trust, I can get more information from her.”
“You, at a museum?” She snorted. “That I would pay to see.”
Me at a museum. Me taking care of a little lost filly. These were definitely not part of my well thought out plan.
Citrine cleared her throat. “Steel, one more thing. Did you hear that the captain resigned?”
“What?” My head snapped around to look at her.
“Yeah. It was a little over a week after you left. In his official statement he said, and I quote: I cannot, in good conscience, continue to work in an environment that places more value on politics and social influence than on the individuals who protect pony rights.”
I shook my head. “He said that?“
“Yup. It created quite a stir throughout the force. I think there are going to be some changes coming.”
I looked down at the ground. “I didn’t want him to quit his job over this. It wasn’t his fault.”
“I know, Steel. But it’s okay. He was immediately hired by the Vanhoover Police Force. He’ll be taking over a precinct, replacing a veteran captain who’s retiring. He and his family moved there just last week. He’ll be fine. And he’s far, far away from the Canterlot bureaucracy.”
I smiled and nodded. “That’s good. I’m glad he was able to escape this place. But I really gotta go. I got a date with a filly.”