Captain’s Log, Stardate 47938.5
I have accepted General Narcissus’ invitation to enjoy some recreation with him, in hopes that I may gain some insight into the Metarex, and, perhaps, Count Bleck himself. He no doubt has the same goal in regards to me. However, I believe we have the advantage since the Federation and Flipside itself have never given in to the idea of shrouding everything in secrecy. I will provide him nothing he could not find out by simply asking people who travel to the other worlds.
I have chosen to take my new security chief with me, acting Lieutenant Sweetie Drops, better known as Bon Bon. After her first few days of unfamiliarity with our technology, she has proven to be an invaluable asset with Worf still away on his mission in Count Bleck’s Castle. The unexpected trans-universal Starfleet commission program has been going exceptionally well. I do hope that, after this ends, many of our allies will petition for placement in the Federation and join Starfleet on more official measures.
To think, this all started because I needed someone to manage the Master Emerald that’s hooked up to the warp core.
~~~
Picard and Bon Bon walked off the Enterprise and onto the docking tunnel that led to the Beanstalk station. They walked side by side, though Bon Bon had to specifically slow down to keep the arrangement. She wore a yellow Starfleet uniform that fit around her front legs and stopped at her midsection, though she also wore a large set of sunglasses over her eyes. This was common practice among Equestira’s agents since equine eyes were so expressive they often betrayed emotions even in the most steel-willed of operatives.
Picard’s appearance was nothing to write home about: bald as always, wearing his red uniform with a calm dignity. There was no mistaking it: he was in charge.
The two of them passed through the sliding doors into the station proper, finding themselves on a large promenade that circled the edge of the large, egg-shaped interior. Escalators and transporter conduits ran left and right over the massive structure, stopping and starting at businesses that floated in midair on glowing blue platforms. Neon signs that advertised everything from fruit smoothies to shady banking flitted across the air.
It was Picard’s turn to be impressed by the variety of familiar creatures wandering the station, as the heroes were down on the base of the Beanstalk. Every world that had visited previously seemed to be represented here in one way or another, and nobody seemed to bat an eye at it.
“What do you make of all this, Lieutenant?”
Bon Bon put her hooves up on the promenade railing, scanning the vibrant landscape. “This universe is different from the others, somehow. It appears to be connected to them all.”
Picard nodded. “Perhaps the entire universe is under the same ‘curse’ as Ear—Terra, my home. Made to reflect all the other worlds.”
“It certainly looks like everything was thrown together in a blender and left to do whatever it wanted.”
“Ahem,” a synthetic voice said, grabbing their attention. It was a small Metarex, barely larger than Bon Bon’s head. “General Narcissus is right this way, if you’ll follow me.”
With a nod, Picard obeyed, staying close to the Metarex as it led them to a crystal teleportation platform. A crew of red fish-like aliens stepped into the pad, disappearing to somewhere else. Picard, Bon Bon, and the Metarex did the same, appearing on the balcony of one of the station’s many floating platforms. This particular one appeared to house a casino, given the images of dice and cards floating above the marshmallow-textured structure.
Picard entered, finding the interior to be well lit. There were several tables spread out around a bar, which was being tended to by a Cardassian woman and a Mobian bee. The Metarex led them past the tables filled with drunks and gamblers to a small three-seater that was occupied by Narcissus, who was busy shuffling a deck of cards.
“I hear your crew engages in card games regularly,” Narcissus said, continuing the shuffle. “Do you?”
“I rarely play,” Picard noted. “But I do know the rules of poker.”
“I’ve joined the games regularly,” Bon Bon added, taking her seat. “They’ve made me stop playing with the sunglasses so I can’t pull off good poker faces.”
“You may keep them on for this game,” Narcissus said, dealing two cards out to each of them. “Now… Captain Jean-Luc Picard. I’ve read so much about you.”
“I wish I could say the same,” Picard said, throwing some of his chips into the betting pool.
“Your record is exemplary. A living legend in your universe. One might even say you should have been chosen as the hero of your world instead of Data.”
Picard shook his head. “My place is commanding my crew. I would not be the best choice for a team of varied specialists moving with minimal regulation.”
“Is Data?”
“He seems to be doing excellently.”
Narcissus drummed his fingers against the table, throwing a few more chips in. “You know, Captain, many would consider the idea of the Federation as rather unnatural. A civilization based on the betterment of oneself, exploration, and progress—without a monetary system? How do you not collapse in on yourself?”
“Human ingenuity and no small amount of stubborn pride,” Picard responded, throwing his cards in to fold. “It most certainly isn’t perfect and we have our faults, but it has served our universe well.”
“Indeed it has…” Narcissus said, waiting for Bon Bon to make her move in the game. “High ideals so rarely survive the cold, harsh realities of space, but you are the exception. You had my respect.”
“Do the Metarex have any ideal that drives them?”
“Peace.” Narcissus bet some more.
Picard raised his eyebrow.
“I’m serious.” Narcissus leaned back, tilting his head to the side. “Your Federation has fought in wars for the sake of peace, violence is not entirely antithetical to the goal.”
“It is not, but your occupation of so many planets sure appears to be.”
“Picard, I ask you this. How can there be peace if there are two different types of people? So long as there is difference, there will be conflict. Even within your Federation, you have defectors, disagreements, arguments… until you make those around conform to your ideals.”
“We respect all the cultures within our union.”
“ ‘We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us.’ “
Picard tensed at the quote. “We are not the Borg.”
“Oh, by no means! You ask permission.” Narcissus chuckled, throwing more chips into the pot. “This changes the end result up a bit. You don’t oppress, you synthesize. In the end, the cultures within the Federation tend toward a single identity—not a mix of different identities. Conformity is a powerful tool, Captain, and you cannot stop it.” He lifted up a hand, pointing at nothing. “When you make it to the top—assuming your Federation survives what is to come in some fashion—you will have assimilated all into your coalition with the words ‘we come in peace.’ For some, it will take centuries, but as you gather more and more allies, their desire to remain unique will crumble as the new generation takes hold. And once you have everything… you will condense into one people, one culture, one way.”
Picard leaned in. “And it will be the way made from all people of the universe, working in unison. That end result would be as close to the perfect nation as could be possible.”
“I notice you didn’t say it would be perfect.”
“Perfection… is not possible. There are many things we are incapable of in our nature.”
“That nature. That nature… That nature is against peace. This is why it must be eliminated.”
“Is that what the Metarex stand for?” Picard asked. “The elimination of our nature?”
“Beyond that. We seek a return to nature, Captain. Imagine a forest stretching on for infinity, nothing but the trees to keep each other company. Its beauty is a testament to the age. In our world—and yours—those trees will eventually crumble and die, though they will have offspring. That is, until someone cuts those trees down, destroying the forest forever. In the world we seek…” Narcissus picked up a poker chip and held it up to the light, flipping it through his fingers. “In the world we seek that forest is eternal.”
“Would that world have any place for you, Narcissus?”
“Not as I am now. Not as any of us are now. But once that forest is made… there will be eternal peace. And there will be no wars because there will be no one left to wage them.”
“Except Count Bleck and his minions and whatever worlds they desire at the end of this.”
For once, Narcissus fell silent.
“The Void and the existence of the multiverse has interfered with your idea of a perfect forest, hasn’t it?” Picard pressed.
“Dark Oak has assured us that peace, and the Count granted it.”
“Then I have another question for you—would you really enjoy yourself in such a forest?”
“Not as I am now. But when the final moment comes, I will have no doubts.” Narcissus crushed the poker chip in his hands. “But for now, I will have fun and watch my enemies suffer.”
“That’s the difference between you and me,” Picard said, smiling softly. “When the final moment comes, I too will have no doubts, for I know who I am now. And yet, I still stay here, living the best life I can, often at the expense of ‘fun.’ “
“Why not revel in everything around you in this life? The worlds will end one way or another, and then what will have happened to all your noble actions?”
“They are not worthless. To throw away this life for one of abject pleasure—that is what is worthless.”
“...You are a fascinating man, Picard.”
“Um…” Bon Bon said, looking up. “I think the hand’s over.”
“Right, right.” Narcissus flipped over his cards, as did Bon Bon.
“Four of a kind,” Bon Bon called, taking the entire massive pot that Narcissus had been feeding into absent-mindedly during the conversation. She smiled innocently at Narcissus. “That was fun.”
Narcissus dug his fingers into the table. “...Another hand?”
“Yes, please!”
~~~
Jenny teleported Caspian and Vivian directly to the top of the Beanstalk, arriving within the station just as Picard began his first hand with Narcissus. Having been prepared for the station by the sights at Beanstalk City, they still had to contend with the overwhelming number of neon lights and loud advertisements.
“Ah, I remember when I first got up here,” Jenny chuckled. “There was a giant robot over there that tried to kill us. Fun times.”
“Wow. How many adventures have you had?” Vivian asked.
“I’m a billion years old, how many do you think?” Jenny leaned forward and flicked Vivian’s hat up slightly. “Think on it. I’ll wait.”
Vivian lowered her hat back down and crossed her arms. “No need to be so rude about it…”
“I kinda do.” Jenny bowed extravagantly and bounced back. “Now, where’s Yvnd?”
“You did tell him to wait an hour,” Caspian said. “It has been much less than that.”
“Oh yeah, I did. Huh.” She pulled out her staff of holding and pulled out what looked like a cell phone, except composed of meat and insect legs. “Hey! Yvnd! I’m here! Get your papery knot over here and tell me alllll about the moon stuff.”
A transporter platform next to them lit up, depositing a being seemingly made out of paper twice as tall as a normal human into their presence. It had no head, instead focusing most of its mass in a cube where its shoulders would be. It had two arms made out of long, papery strips and a single leg that looked like a tornado rather than any sort of traditional limb. On the cube, several neon-blue symbols danced in the closest thing to a face this creature had. When it spoke, the words came from every position on its body at once.
“We have much to discuss.” It pointed at Caspian and Vivian. “In private.”
Jenny threw her head back. “Ugh, fine. Here.” Jenny threw Vivian a plastic card. “That has some shin-creds, enough for something to eat at the cafe. I recommend the one across that bridge right there. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to suffer through bureaucracy.” With a huff, she followed Yvnd back into the teleporter and vanished, leaving Vivian and Caspian alone.
“I have seen many worlds on this journey,” Caspian said. “None have been as strange as this one.”
“No kidding,” Vivian said, shaking her head as she watched a pegasus pony converse with what appeared to be a sapient swarm of bees. “Let’s just… go order a coffee, or something.”
“A coffee?”
“...It’s a brown drink that gives you energy and clears your head. I feel sorry for you if Narnia doesn’t have it.”
“I’ll want to try this… coffee.”
Vivian led them across a bridge made out of blue hard-light that rippled with strange energy. At the end, they arrived at a floating metal island with an outdoor cafe, holograms of tropical trees and a beautiful beach, shutting the visual din of the Beanstalk station out for the most part. They took a seat at a table near the entrance, the closest table currently occupied by a bunch of squid-people and a floating koi fish with cybernetic implants in its skull.
“Hello, and welcome to the Cafe de Tropicana, how may I serve you today?”
“We’ll have a—” Vivian stopped short when she realized who was serving them: a small, green woman made out of plants with two rosebuds coming out of her head. She wore a simple, three-pointed white hat that identified her as an employee of the cafe. “Cosmo!?”
Cosmo gasped. “Vivian! Caspain! I was wondering where you all were!” She pulled Vivian out of her chair and into a hug. “The others?”
“Data and Tippi are on the planet,” Caspian said. “We don’t know where Twilight and Toph are.”
“But they’ll be somewhere!” Cosmo clapped her hands. “Oh, this is great! Chandra!”
A woman with three heads and five eyes looked to Cosmo.
“I’m taking my break—my friends just showed up!”
She nodded to Cosmo twice, though the third head seemed annoyed.
Cosmo removed her hat and sat down next to Vivian and Caspian. “Oh, did you want to eat something?”
“I was going to get Caspian a coffee,” Vivian admitted.
Cosmo pulled out a datapad and scribbled down an order. “Order sent, it should be here i—” with a flash of blue light, the coffee appeared in front of Caspian. “There you go!”
Caspian carefully picked up the drink and sniffed it. Cautiously, he put it to his lips. It was hot, but not too hot. Slowly, he set it down and fixed Vivian with a calm smile. “That was the most disgusting drink I’ve ever had.”
Vivian giggled. “It’s an acquired taste.”
“I wonder how one could ever acquire that taste…”
Cosmo giggled. “Oh, I missed you guys. It’s been… lonely out here.”
“What have you been doing?” Vivian asked.
“Well…” Cosmo tapped her fingers on the table. “I woke up on a distant planet with a bunch of aliens that couldn’t speak. Took me about a week to find a starship and get passage off the world so I could figure out where I was. After that, I discovered the Metarex were everywhere in this universe. They were crawling in every nook and cranny and they were always trying to attack me…” She shivered. “I was lucky I got to keep the phaser, so I could defend myself. They kept finding me, over and over…” She sighed. “I was even captured once, and before I escaped I figured out why they were here. Ever since Count Bleck recruited them, General Narcissus has been scouring this universe, looking for the Pure Heart. He can’t find it.”
“That… doesn’t bode well,” Vivian said. “We need to find it.”
“Anyway, once I escaped, I learned that this place existed. A neutral zone.” She smiled softly. “I eventually made my way here and became part of the station life. I’ve worked here for two weeks now. I rather like serving people food, it puts smiles on their faces, no matter how strange their faces are.”
“Do you have any idea why this place is so…” Caspian waved a hand in the air.
“Strange and familiar?” Cosmo shook her head. “No, I didn’t find anything out about that. All I know is that space in this universe isn’t very… full. It’s not like Hume at all, there are almost no large nations. Some sort of calamity hit the universe relatively recently and set almost every civilization into decline. The whole cosmos is a haywire mess of half-remembered technology and magic. No one really knows anything.”
“Hmm…” Vivian scratched her head. “Hopefully Data and Tippi can figure out this mystery.”
Cosmo nodded. “They always were good at research. Twilight too… I hope she’s okay.”
“We’ve found everyone else so far,” Caspian said with a smirk. “We’ll find the rest just fine, Cosmo. Don’t worry.”
“Oh, I try. I try…”
“It is easier said than done,” Caspian admitted.
“Anyway, I suppose I’ll go quit my job now.” Cosmo stood up. “Hey, Chandra? I’m finishing my shifts for today, but after that, I’ve got to go. Sorry!”
Again, two of the heads nodded and a third grumbled. It was a different head this time, though.
“Just be sure to pick me up before you leave,” Cosmo told her friends, putting her hat back on. “I’m not going to leave them understaffed just because you showed up, sorry!”
Vivian shrugged. “We’re kind of waiting anyway.”
“Keep your obligations,” Caspian said. “We will not stop you.”
Cosmo let out a soft giggle before running to a recently filled table. “Hello, and welcome to the Cafe de Tropicana, how may I serve you today?”