Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 5
By TDR
Cutie Re-Materia,
Episode 2,
Part 5
[Time Line 19-3-15-15-2-25]
“Let's see who you really are!” The blonde human stated grabbing the face of the figure that Twilight had wrapped in her magic. The mask peeling from the monsters face like cloth revealing.....
“Rahs what the fuck!?” Shining Armor demanded.
The moon dog grinned
“Woof.”
“That was hardly a dramatic reveal, I bet Twilight ten bits it was you and she wouldn't take the bet cause it was so obvious.” Spike grumbled.
“So like, where's the real Barking Ghost?” Another human male with brown hair and a green shirt, who reminded Twilight of Fluttershy's friend Tree Hugger, asked. Twilight narrowed her eyes at the man, that human had way more power than should be reasonable hidden inside of him.
The brown haired man met her stare and grinned sheepishly.
“Bork.” Rahs rolled his eyes and pointed to a closet.
The short curvy female in the orange dress walked over and opened the door letting a man bound in rope, gagged, and half dressed in another Barking Ghost costume fall out with a crash to the floor.
“Mister Withers?!” The group of humans and their great dane gasped.
The man worked the gag free. “ And I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you meddling kids.”
“Ahem.”
“And your unicorn...” the man grumbled.
“Ehh we've had weirder cross overs.” The brown haired man shrugged.
[ Time Line 5-22-1, 14-14-2-15-4-25 4-9-5-19]
“WE HAVE A BLUE SIGNAL!!” a man at a computer cried out as alarmed blared around the control bridge.
“Where is it!!??” Screamed a purple haired woman as she gripped the back of the chair of the man who shouted.
“IT'S ALREADY IN THE GEO FRONT!!” A woman screamed out from another computer.
“WHERE!?!” the purple haired woman demanded, sparing a glance back behind her to a desk with an old man standing next to it and another man in a pedophile beard watching the goings on over steepled hands covered in white gloves.
“SHIT! There's more than one field commander!” some one yelled from another counsel
“WHAT!?”
The main screen of the bridge came up showing a graph with two insanely large aura graphs filling the screen going past the ability to measure.
“There's two of them!?” the purple haired woman gasped and with that kind of power?!”
“No, there's five.”
“FIVE!?”
“Look here, there's three other signals that are being masked by the two main ones. If the first two were not so ridiculous that we tried to filter them out as false readings, we never would have seen these three.”
“So the big two are false?”
“No.”
“Shit. Five angels?” the purple haired woman sighed. “ What's the Eva's status?”
“Unit one is ready and Shinji's already in the plug. Rei's just getting here but Go-ku.... I mean unit five is already prepped.”
“Of all the times for Yui and Asuka to be on a trip.” the purple haired woman grumbled.
“Unit one is now ready and five is moving into carriage two.” another bridge bunny called.
They all stared at the readings a moment.
“Five is ready.”
“LAUNCH EVAS!!” Misato cried out
Out on the geo front a crystal table sat with two unicorns, a dragon, and a moon dog sitting on it.
“Well this place is kinda nice.” Spike offered.
“I wonder what's above the dome, think they ruined the planet's surface like all those others we found.” Shining considered
“Might be another Nightmare Moon world and this is how the ponies survived.” Spike scratched his chin.
“Wuff.” Rahs huffed.
“More human scents huh? We seem to find a lot of them.” Shining shrugged
“Well this is just further proof that this is a dimensional thing rather than time lines., there is literally no way Starlight fucking around could change the dominate species when humans are not even native to Equss.”Twilight theorized.
“Well, least we landed in a garden. I hope the owners not gonna be too upset we're stealing his watermelons “ Spike offered.
“Meh whatever, I'm tried of all this.” Twilight sighed.
“So can we just kill Starlight and be done with this?” Shining asked.
“No. Now I'm even more sure that's the wrong answer.” Twilight huffed.
“You're just being stubborn. We've been doing this for like two months.” Spike rolled his eyes.
“Look obviously Starlight is something we need to resolve, but White never said she was the goal just that we were tied with her cause she was screwing stuff up.” Twilight considered.
“It took you two months to figure that out?” Shining sighed.
“I've been distracted.” Twilight grumbled.
“Better than disgusted. Seriously how many freaking worlds have we come across where you're either banging Shining, me, or Rahs?” Spike shuddered. ”Both male and female variations and in one case, both.”
“I thought we agreed never to speak of such places again!” Twilight snapped.
“Look. I want to go home. I'm tired of this and we could have been done with this day one, if you didn't stop us. Every one of us has a way to end that mares life before she does ANYTHING to change the time line, but you don't want to do that.” Spike grumbled.
“We've gotten closer and I have an idea.” Twilight offered her head lifting at a distant rumble.” But we should probably hit the button and go now, seems some locals showed up.
Staring out over the field a massive purple humanoid figure strode towards them, followed by a four legged figure with a massive drill on one arm.
“Hit the button Spike.” Shining sighed.
“On it.”
Inside Eva unit one, Shinji stared at the table as it and it's occupants vanished.
“Right, did you see that control?”
“You mean a purple unicorn, a purple dragon, a white unicorn, and a werewolf sitting on a crystal table eating stuff they stole from Kaji's garden?”
“Yes.”
“No I did not, and neither did you. This test run of the systems worked fine, come on back to base and scrub the cameras data.”
“Done and done. There are some levels of weird I just can't handle.” Shinji sighed noting that Itchi had saved the pictures and was squeeing at the sight of the real unicorns.
Shinji did his best to not think on how his little sister/ Eva fan girling over a purple fluffy unicorn.
[ Timeline, 19-20-1-18-12-9-7-8-20 23-9-14-19]
“You are a fool Twilight Sparkle.” Starlight growled, her wings spreading out wide as she stared down at the mare from atop her throne in Canterlot. “And you shall die as one.”
“Err hello? I've got wings too. Puffing up like a turkey isn't intimidating.” Twilight sighed wishing she had paid more attention to the table rather than the strangeness of this timeline. Starlight's Guards had nicked the table when the Sparkles weren't looking and they had to chase them down to get in back.
Fortunately the Guards were all 'equal' and thus total shit against Shining and Spike.
Rahs had vanished and Twilight had just wandered into the throne room to get the table back.
Alicorn Starlight snarled, moving to get up from her throne only to find she couldn't. She tried again and fell back against the back. She looked around in confusion as Twilight slapped a hoof to her face as Rahs kept tilting her throne back to keep Starlight from sitting up.
The lilac colored mare flared her wings to fly off her throne only for Rahs to yank the chair back all the way to the floor making the mare shriek as she fell backwards and denying her any dramatic way to stand up.
Twilight sighed as the sounds of violence and more screaming was heard. She removed her hoof from her face to find Starlight, sans wings, mauled, and hung from a rafter beam by her tail with her 'equal sign' cutie mark rubbed off for all her followers to see when they finally came to rescue the false alicorn.
[ Elsewhen]
“Wuff.” Rahs smiled looking around at the milling mass of gray they found themselves in, though he didn't see White any where.
“Cathartic or not, do you always have to go with the highest drama value at any given time?” Twilight demanded.”
Rahs considered for a moment then nodded with a grin as Twilight rolled her eyes.
“Yeah well it's nice you got to vent a little. I still want to set the mare on fire.” Spike grumbled.
“Only if you get to her first.” Shining Armor offered.” If I miss my foals being born because of her I'm pulling her tail out though her mouth.”
“WE ARE NOT KILLING HER.” Twilight snapped.” For fucks sake what the crap is wrong with you three?”
The brothers looked at each other then at Twilight.
“Starlight.” all three said.
“Tartarus is an eternity locked in a small room with your closest friends.” A voice from the gray offered. “Or about ten minutes with siblings.”
The four Sparkles on the table turned spotting another crystal table with four other Sparkles and a terrified looking lilac unicorn sitting in the middle of them , much paler than usual and twitching heavily.
“Hello again. It's future us.” Twilight Sparkle offered.
“ I see you got her.” Twilight sighed. “And she's alive.”
“So .. much blood...” Starlight whined.
“Yeah we got her, though we drug her along to a bit of stress relief soon after.” future Spike sighed.
“Bork.” future Rahs grinned evilly getting some chuckles from the other male Sparkles and eye rolls from both Twilights.
“Any way this was about the point we met ourselves when we did the first time, and so here we are offering you a cheat that we gave ourselves when we were the past ourselves.” future Twilight offered.
“What now?” Shining Armor questioned.
“Spike?” Future Twilight offered.
“Right, hey me, you see the little blue bar on the thing under the green button to time jump?” future Spike offered.
“Yup.” Spike stated.
“That controls how close you show up next to whatever the table is locked onto.” future Spike explained. “Left for closer, right for further away.”
“Wait, you mean?” Spike gasped.
“Yup.” future Spike stated as he cackled.
“Wait so if you're telling us this, who told you?” Twilight asked.
“We did.” future Twilight explained.” From our future.”
“Then who told them?” Twilight demanded.
“Probably their future selves.” future Twilight offered watching her past self closely.
Twilight stammered then questioned it her ears twitching as all the other Sparkles in the area watched the mare blue screen and sit down hard on her rump.” But .. what... then...”
“Huh... it is kinda funny from this side.” Future Twilight smiled.” Whelp, time for us to go and do whatever it was White said we did.”
“Catching Starlight wasn't it?” Shining Armor asked.
“Seems not. “ future Shining sighed.
There was a clicking of the clock as the future group faded out. The past group leaving a moment later after Twilight's brain rebooted, Spike cackling the whole time as he adjusted the slider.
[Cloudsdale]
Starlight grinned looking down at the little filly prepping to race. She chuckled, casting that spell she found to get here was a perfect plan. Twilight would no longer be a god, and she never would have gotten that vicious monster she called a brother. And all it would take would be stopping one stupid pegasus from racing.
It had taken countless tries and an encounter with that horrid rabbit, a few encounters with the Sparkles to get to this point, encounters where they always failed to catch her. She was ready for their shields and their rushes and everything else that damned family could do. Power meant nothing without skill, and Starlight had that over them.
Starlight grinned casting a quick spell , watching as the blue pegasus filly wobbled and fell over asleep as her spell took hold.
“Victory again.” Starlight smirked.
“TALLY HO!!” Spike yelled.
“What?” Starlight looked around and then up where the voice came from. Her eyes widened and she screamed as a massive crystal Table fell from the sky straight at her with the Sparkles all clinging to the back of it as it fell at terminal velocity.
The huge thing missed the mare by inches, and she was witness to all four of the Sparkles looking dead at her and grinning. Before Starlight could react to the completely absurd entrance and just as they were falling past her a blue furred claw snapped out grabbing her horn and yanking her onto the table as it fell through the clouds, screaming from the sky towards the ground far below.
“I thought you were going to put us as close to her as you could!!” Twilight screamed out.
“Pffft she would have reacted to that, dropping from near orbit was the best plan!”Spike cackled. ”No one ever looks up!”
“Ehh, tactically sound.” Shining Armor shrugged.
“WOOF!” Rahs offered holding up a still screaming Starlight by her horn, holding her off the edge of the table so she smacked every cloud on the way down and saw the ground racing towards her.
“AWESOME!” Spike offered and mashed the button, the sound of a ticking clock was heard as the table vanished right before it could hit the ground.
[Timeline- the end]
The table landed with a light thump and Starlight was tossed into the dirt kicking up a dust cloud. She quickly pushed up to her hooves to glare at the four figures at the table.
Spike was sitting on the edge staring at her with Rahs next to him leaning on the table his arms crossed. Twilight was standing before the table closest to her and Shining Armor spared a glance around before his glare focused fully on Starlight.
“So, we're back here.” Shining Armor sighed. ”I hate this timeline.”
“Shouldn't take long.” Spike shrugged.
“Starlight.” Twilight offered.
“Don't you Starlight me . I WON. Rainbow Dash never did her little trick and you're left with NOTHING!” Starlight snapped.
“Yep. Congrats. You stopped the rain boom from happening and made sure that my friends and I never met. “Twilight offered.
Starlight grinned though that slightly faded as none of the Sparkles seemed too worried about this fact.
“...at least in that particular timeline. I mean heck you must have made hundreds, we've been doing this for months now, and I'm not sure what happens to you each time, but we have seen some shit.” Twilight sighed pushing away from the table and gesturing with a hoof to the sky.
“For instance in this one. There was no Elements of Harmony to stop Nightmare Moon. So she imprisoned Celestia and before she could take over the world the other gods jumped on her and sealed her in Tartarus, leaving Equestria with no one to protect them. A lot of towns fell to the Diamond Dogs as they warred with each other. And due to Celestia being gone and Nightmare Moon refusing to say anything about where she was most of the planet withered. Eventually they found a spell to control the sun but it was stolen by a griffon and he used it to demand a tithe from everyone else.” Twilight explained. “And lets just say what he wanted wasn't bits given he liked to hear his food scream in pain and beg for mercy when he ate it. And since all the other races blamed ponies for losing control of the sun, despite no one having anything to do with it, guess who paid that tithe the most.”
“Then Tirek showed up and ate whoever was left so pretty much all the ponies are extinct here.” Spike shrugged. “Congratulations, death is a great equalizer. No ones better than anyone else, and cutie marks don't matter, everything you wanted.”
“We've been to this place quite a bit Glimmer.” Shining Armor stated. “We've poked our noses into the few libraries we found intact. Turns out my wife and concubine did hook up here, though both of them were trapped when the Crystal Empire appeared, along with a number of other gods. Then the empire vanished, taking them and the portfolios they had with them. So no love, no change, no wind, no a lot of things the other gods had are gone.”
“You're lying!” Starlight snapped.
“Honestly at this point why would we bother to lie?” Twilight shrugged.
“You're trying to stop me and it won't work.” Starlight snapped. ”I'll fight you forever!”
“You don't frakking get it do you.” Spike snapped back. ”Time is still passing for you, even if it's not as fast as with us. We're not going to grow old and die, every one of us is immortal, you're not. In about oh fifty years you're going to be a decrepit old nag who can barely cast the time spell, and we'll be the same as when you first met us. Twenty years after that, you'll probably be dead. That amount of time is nothing to us. We could simply wait you out and let you die of old age still fighting us when we don't even have to do anything. We spent months in here already and we've still reluctantly not killed you at first sight because Twilight wants you alive for some reason.”
“Wuff.”
“What do you mean you just wanted a chalice?” Spike asked.
The other Sparkles looked at Rahs in confusion, though Starlight paled, her hoof reaching up to rub the faded scars on her face.
“You've got potential, and something in my portfolio is rather insistent that Friendship can indeed be taught to you in a way that you can become a better pony.” Twilight offered.” Hence why I've stopped these louts from just ending your life, or ignoring you and bouncing around time for a few more decades until you sort yourself out.”
Starlight stared at the mare, this was bullshit.
“So what's it gonna be? Give up? Die of old age? Die because I stopped stopping my brothers?” Twilight asked.
Before Starlight could response Shining spoke up.
“Twili. We've been sitting around too long. Grogars here.” Shining offered.
Looking to where the white unicorn was pointing Starlight's eyes widened at the shambling horde of zombie ponies lurching towards the table, with a old blue goat standing behind them, the necromantic power simply radiating off him.
“Kill them all, the power of that crystal is mine!” Grogar snapped.
“ Bork.” Rahs stated looking in the other direction. The ground seemed to ripple in that direction like something was swimming under it before a mass of diamond dogs armored for war burst from the ground with a howl on the other side of the table.
“Great. Butch and the Bone Hounds.” Spike sighed noting Rahs almost manic grin.
“Ahhh what's this delicious smelling thing.” A voice boomed, a red centaur striding up out of the wastes staring down at the gathered forces.
“ And now Tirek.”Twilight sighed “ All we need is....”
The flap of wings was heard above and the darkened sky was blotted out further with the beat of thousands of wings as an army of griffons flew in with a griffon in heavy gold armor riding a gold chariot carried by six other griffons appeared, the bird on the chariot a corpulent thing with grease on his beak and down the front of his armor.
“Ahh ponies. Kill the rest but get me those two, it has been far too long since I had horse flesh.” the griffon cawed.
“ And there's King Bile.” Twilight sighed. “Right hold on Starlight.” Twilight asked turning to her brothers. “ So what did you want to do?”
“Bork.” Rahs stated.
“ You already know.” Shining Armor answered.
“ Exterminatus.” Spike offered.
“Right. Spell set six?” Twilight asked.
“Make it nine. Some of these guys can fly.” Spike suggested
“Okay but that's only gonna last about fifteen minutes before Rahs eats it.” Twilight nodded laying a whole host of spells quickly on Rahs, the effects running to all the Sparkles. ”Starlight sit by the table this shouldn't take long.”
“Attention invaders of the nation of Equestria. You are being given two choices here.” Shining Armor bellowed. “Surrender or what.”
“What?” Tirek, Grogar, Bile, and Butch questioned along with a number of their troops.
“They chose WHAT!” Spike grinned.
“Shame.” Twilight shrugged.
Starlight was about to ask what the Tartarus the group was doing when all four of them moved. She recognize the layers of spells that Twilight had cast on Rahs, it was an insane mix of various combat buffs and several spells she had never heard of.
Her attempt to recognize them stopped sharply as the Sparkles started to lay into the gathered armies. There was already untold carnage when the screaming finally started.
Starlight Glimmer started to pale, things were not supposed to bend that way, blood was not meant to flow uphill, nor be out of bodies in such quantities and she had never seen what happened when a mana vacuum was turned inside out .
The lilac unicorn sat down hard, her eyes wide as she whimpered and turned nearly white as the four Sparkles had some much needed stress relief against those that deserved it.
[ Elsewhen]
“Tartarus is an eternity locked in a small room with your closest friends.” A voice from the gray offered. “ Or about ten minutes with siblings.”
The four Sparkles on the table turned spotting another crystal table with four other Sparkles and a terrified looking lilac unicorn sitting in the middle of them , much paler than usual and twitching heavily.
“Hello again. It's future us.” Twilight Sparkle offered.
“I see you got her.” past Twilight sighed. “And she's alive.”
“So .. much blood...” Starlight whined.
“Yeah we got her though, we drug her along to a bit of stress relief soon after.” Spike sighed.
“ Bork.” Rahs grinned evilly getting some chuckles from the other male Sparkles and eye rolls from both Twilights.
“Any way this was about the point we met ourselves when we did the first time, and so here we are offering you a cheat that we gave ourselves when we were the past ourselves.” Twilight offered.
“What now?” past Shining Armor questioned.
“Spike?” Twilight offered.
“Right, hey me, you see the little blue bar on the thing under the green button to time jump?” Spike offered.
“Yup.” past Spike stated.
“That controls how close you show up next to whatever the table is locked onto.” Spike explained. “Left for closer, right for further away.”
“Wait, you mean?” past Spike gasped.
“Yup.” Spike stated as he cackled.
“Wait so if you're telling us this, who told you?” past Twilight asked.
“We did.” Twilight explained.” From our future.”
“Then who told them?” past Twilight demanded.
“Probably their future selves.” Twilight offered watching her past self closely.
Past Twilight stammered then questioned it her ears twitching as all the other Sparkles in the area watched the mare blue screen and sit down hard on her rump.” But .. what... then...”
“Huh... it is kinda funny from this side.” Twilight smiled.” Whelp, time for us to go and do whatever it was White said we did.”
“Catching Starlight wasn't it?” past Shining Armor asked.
“Seems not. “ Shining Armor sighed.
There was a clicking of the clock as the future group faded out. The past group leaving a moment later after Twilight's brain rebooted, Spike cackling the whole time as he adjusted the slider.
[ Main Timeline]
“Huh..... where are we?” Twilight asked.
“ I think the question might be when.” Spike considered. “Everything looks fine.”
“Wuff!” Rahs pointed out.
Looking to where he was pointing they could see a fair sized town down the path they were standing on, enough of it was visible from the rise they were on for them to identify the town.
“Huh Ponyville. It looks a little odd though, a lot of the buildings from the expansion are missing.” Twilight hummed.
“Think we're in the past?” Shining Armor asked.
“Probably. I can see the fence posts for Sweet Apple Acres southern field over there and Granny said that's only been up for about twenty five years, so we're not that far back.”
“You sure?” Shining asked.
“With as much time as I spend at the farm, yes.” Twilight smirked as Shining Armor glowered at his sister.
“Grrrrrrr.” Rahs growled.
“Diamond Dogs?” Spike asked.” Wait you don't think.....”
Rahs, Spike, and Twilight all looked at each other.
“Wait if this is our past... we can't change anything...”Shining Armor stated noting the look.
Starlight simply shivered.
Before any one could answer there was a mares scream from further up the trail.
Rahs, Spike and Twilight were moving before Shining could even protest.
“Fuck. ” Shining snapped wrapping Starlight in a bubble shield before he took off after his siblings dragging the near comatose mare along with him.
The scene he came across was several Diamond Dogs practically ripped apart and a broken wagon that looked like it had been attacked laying on it's side. A peach colored mare with curly straw colored mane and tail stood by the cart starting in shock at Rahs. A large red maned stallion with the same fur color as Applebloom stood between her and the moon dog staring at the purple alicorn as if he was trying to figure out if he should bow or not.
Spike was standing nearby furiously writing in a note book.
“Damn it! What did you do? “Shining Armor snapped as he stormed up to them carrying along the freaked out Starlight.” We just did this whole thing with this idiot,.” He gestured to the bubbled unicorn. ”I want to get back to be there when my foals are born, not have to do this again and again because you wanted to save some people who died.”
“Shining...”Twilight began.
“Arrgggh okay... look. Sorry. I get you want to help, but this happened you can't fix it it'll butterfly like everything else....”Shining sighed.
“Nope.” Spike stated. “Rahs check this did I miss anything?”
Spike tossed the notebook to Rahs who looked it over his ears perking.
“Ruff.” Rahs added.
“Shouldn't be an issue, Twi light only knocked that guy out, we can give it to him to run off with when he wakes up. Though where is the yoke?” Spike asked.
“Over here.” Twilight stated yanking the yoke that had been used to pull the car free. “ Rahs it needs a claw mark.”
“What the buck are you doing?” Shining demanded.
“Fucking with history and events.” Spike stated pointing at the two earth ponies who were looking at the group in complete confusion as Rahs clawed up the heavy yoke before dropping it atop of a snoring Diamond Dog.
“What. Shining asked.
“This is Bright Mac and Pear Butter. Applejack, Big Mac and Applebloom's parents. Bloom was only about a month old at this point when they were supposedly killed by the Bone Hounds during the Diamond Dog war that dragged Ponyville into it. In fact their deaths were why the war stopped because the Guard got involved. “ Spike explained. “ But the thing is, there were never any bodies recovered. Only a lot of evidence to say they died here.”
“Ah'm sorry we what?” Bright Mac demanded.
“Don't worry about it. We got this.” Twilight stated.
“Well that's good. Ah ain't even sure what 'this' is.” Pear Butter offered. “How do you know our foals.”
“Weeeeell long story short... “ Twilight started.
“You don't do 'short' stories. Let me explain.” Spike offered.
A grumble from Rahs drew the pairs attention to him as the moon dog huffed.
“Come with us if you want to live.”