//------------------------------// // Apples & Bananas // Story: One of Those Days // by Bespectacled Brony //------------------------------// Disclaimer: As previously noted in the first chapter, all hail Lauren Faust for her "MLP" creation and showing us that friendship is indeed magic! Now...on with the story! Synopsis: A simple word mispronunciation causes a minor misunderstanding to erupt into a full-blown argument between a certain farmhoof and fashionista... My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic - One of Those Days Chapter 2 - Apples & Bananas Looking for a lovely little location to live? Searching for someplace serene where you can sample its succulent splendor or bask and bathe in its bountiful beauty? Well, let me be the first to tell you that your journey is over! One needn't look any further than Ponyville! It has virtually anything and everything you could want! Need a gorgeous gown for a romantic night on the town? The Carousel Boutique is the place to be! In the mood to rot both your teeth and mind at breakneck speeds? For the right amount of money, Sugarcube Corner will let you name your own sugar rush! Feel like expanding your education or reading up on obviously obscure observations? The Golden Oak Library's book collection has all and tells all! (And its inhabitant definitely thinks she knows all, too.) If you're as hungry as a timberwolf (one that's strayed from its usual corresponding diet), the town's marketplace sells a variety of fruits, vegetables and other assortments of nutrition. One of the big, popular winners are the scrumdiddlyumptious apples! Provided by the hard-working Apple family, these ponies go to great measures to ensure their produce are of the best quality they can offer. On the beginning of this lovely spring day, the smiling earth pony Applejack straightened her Stetson hat and took a deep breath, wasting no words as she left the house and tended to the apple bucking on her orchard which made up the bulk of the area known to all as Sweet Apple Acres. As numerous and taxing as her mandatory tasks were, the inevitable realization of accomplishment - combined with the prospect of making a decent profit from the fruits of her family's labors - never failed to override any physical stress or mental exhaustion she endured on an almost daily basis. Instead, her heart always concluded the day's work with feelings of pride and satisfaction. BAM! Yet another bucket had been filled to the brim with brightly colored apples. Applejack was giving her legs their usual workout, as they kicked each individual apple tree with equal force. The loud smacking noise generated by the bucking of the trees is what probably masked the matching volume of a dull boom that came from somewhere in town. (Rumors would later circulate that Rarity had something to do with it.) Whatever the reason, Applejack didn't seem to notice it. "Whew!" she exclaimed, slightly fatigued. It was now a little past noon by the time the freckled mare finished most of her apple bucking. Granted, there remained a small number of trees that had yet to be cleared, but with her strong, older (and taller) brother Big McIntosh sharing the workload, the job wouldn't take too long to complete. This allowed Applejack to move on to other chores that needed tending. Wiping a few beads of sweat from her brow, something noticeably bearing a little more weight suddenly pelted the top of her head; rather, a few "somethings" fell from above. Quickly recognizing the objects as envelopes, A.J.'s brain put it all together. "Gosh darn it, Derpy!" she complained. "Watch where yer droppin' that stuff, wouldja?" Indeed, the said grey pregasus (who's penchant for clumsiness was the stuff of legend) was floating a few feet from above, flashing her trademark oblivious smile. "Mail's here!" Derpy announced, a bit after the fact. "Uh, yeah...so I gathered," Applejack sarcastically noted. "See ya later, Apple-gator!" "Wha...?" As Derpy waved goodbye, the Applejack tried to make sense of what the mailpony had just said. But those thoughts were put on hold when she saw what Derpy didn't, due to the fact that her head was still pointed in the direction of the farm. Flying backwards may not have been the best choice. "Hey! Watch out for that-" CRASH! "...tree." The pegasus spent the next few seconds struggling free of the branches and leaves, some of which got caught in her blonde mane and tail. Aside from a few minor scratches, Derpy's body seemed to be no worse for the wear, so she flew off once again, resuming her course towards Ponyville. She began to pour on the speed to make up for lost time and it was quite the daring feat, considering that a pair of apples got stuck to her eyes, completely obscuring her vision. Derpy lightly smacked the back of her head, causing the fruits to dislodge and fall to the ground. Unfortunately, these set of circumstances (starting with the crashing into the tree) happened so fast, that she initially couldn't make sense of the direction she was now heading in. Which is probably why she initially failed to notice that she was zigzagging downward at a frightening velocity, causing some of the townsfolk to take cover. Her shouts of warning came a litttle too late, unfortunately... "WHOOOAAA! LOOK OUT BELOW!" By strange coincidence, the only casualty of her inevitable crash was a longtime friend of hers, a stallion named Time Turner. The collision kicked up a huge cloud of dust and dirt. Derpy's accident was witnessed by many nearby, including a fellow pegasus by the name of Rainbow Dash and her unicorn friend Rarity. The two couldn't take their eyes off of what had just transpired. "My word!" Rarity exclaimed. "Yep...that's Derpy for ya," confirmed Rainbow. "Whatcha saw was about par for the course...for her, anyway." From the balcony of the Golden Oak Library, the unicorn known as Twilight Sparkle saw the accident through her telescope. At the same time, the door of Sugarcube Corner was wide open and an energetic pink pony, who had a yellow pegasus in a headlock, observed the scenario with little to no concern. "See? Aside from that mailpony, everything's fine! I'd say everything's gravy, but that'd be a big, fat lie...obviously!" "Uh...obviously." Satisfied with the outcome of the situation, the pink pony retreated back into the bakery, slamming the door shut. Applejack shook her head after witnessing Derpy's unenviable method of descent. "I swear, that gal's really gotta get her act together," she said to herself. "Otherwise, she's gonna find herself in a wagonload a' sticky situations!" Getting back to her duties, A.J. (and her brother) made remarkable progress regarding the amount of farm work that needed to be done in just over an hour. Since things were rolling ahead of schedule, she decided to fulfill a promise to a friend of hers. The fashion designer Rarity had recently assisted Applejack with the apple sorting, a crucial stage in the harvesting process, separating the juicy, rich apples from the bad, rotten ones. Granny Smith often had the situation well in hoof, but she'd fallen ill at the time. But being the meticulous individual that she was, Rarity had a keen, sharp eye for what was beautiful and what wasn't, and the status of the apple trees' offerings were no exception. Applejack was extremely grateful for the help and made it a point a pay her back. Both girls often assured each other that such favors needn't be reciprocated, but every once in a blue moon, she felt compelled to break her own personal rule and do it anyway. She strapped on her saddlebags with each side holding a medium-sized jug of cider, arguably the Apple family's most treasured and sought-after beverage. (Justification for such a claim could be easily supplied by one freaky and fanatical Rainbow Dash.) Of course, the package wouldn't be complete without a basket of some of the freshest apples collected on this fine day. Now all that needed to be done was to trot on over to the Carousel Boutique and- "That movie was wicked cool!" Applejack's eyes moved on their own and they spotted her younger sister; an adorable, spunky little girl by the name of Apple Bloom, accompanied by her friends Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. The latter of the three was the voice that A.J. heard and recognized. This trio was known to most as the- "Cutie Mark Crusaders!" greeted Applejack enthusiastically. "Welcome back!" "Heya, sis!" Apple Bloom chirped. "So...what kinda mischief have ya'll gotten mixed up in t'day, hmmm?" "No more than usual," Sweetie Belle said. Half of Applejack's mind insisted that those words were purely innocent, while the other half didn't feel reassured by Sweetie's answer in the slightest. She squinted her eyes, bombarding the fillies with a look of suspicion. Scootaloo noticed the uneasy sweat trickling down the farm pony's forehead. "Chill, A.J.!" Scootaloo quipped. "We caught a flick, that's all! Rainbow Dash gave us free tickets!" The blonde mare sighed in relief before speaking again. "Shucks, that was mighty nice of her! Say...you didn't see 'Pit Pony' now, didja? That one ain't fer kids!" "Of course not, big sister a' mine!" claimed Apple Bloom in an overly innocent voice. Her two cohorts snickered, leading Applejack to believe that her easement was premature. As much as she would've liked to continue the conversation, she had a delivery to make. Suddenly her ears picked up something of interest; the sound of three ponies singing a song she'd never heard. Specifically, it was an arrangement of words that went a little something like this... "I like to eat, eat, eat...apples and bananas! I like to ate, ate, ate...ay-ples and ba-nay-nays! I like to eet, eet, eet...ee-ples and bee-nee-nees! I like to ite, ite, ite...i-ples and bi-ni-nis! I like to ote, ote, ote...oh-ples and bo-no-nos! I like to oot, oot, oot...oo-ples and-" "Now see here!" Applejack interrupted. "What's all this hooey 'bout oh-ples and bikinis and whatnot?' The girls naturally laughed at her confused state. "No, no, no..." Sweetie Belle replied, shaking her head. "It's a song where you switch the vowels for other ones, making the song sound all silly!" "Huh...well, that's gotta be the strangest ditty I've ever heard!" "Wouldn't be much of a song, otherwise!" Scootaloo pointed out. She then turned to the other two Crudsaders and grinned. "But enough yakkin'! Let's make like Rainbow and DASH! Onward to the clubhouse!" "YEAH!" the other two Crusaders cheered. Applejack's ears twitched as the fillies' odd song resumed while they took their leave. "I like to ote, ote, ote...oh-ples and bo-no-nos! I like to..." A.J. stroked her chin and tried hard to validate the lyrical nonsense. The distance between Sweet Apple Acres and the Carousel Boutique wasn't very far, although Applejack's journey took longer than usual, what with her saddlebags full and the basket she carried in her mouth. Her slow movement was also due to her thoughts dwelling on that weird song Sweetie Belle had mentioned. The words were still swirling around in her head and their meaning was as perplexing as ever. Honestly...oh-ples and bo-no-nos? OH-PLES AND BO-NO-NOS!? Who made up this dang hogwash? If I'd used the word 'oh-ple' all the time when I was Oh-ple Bloom's age, Granny Smith woulda never let me git away with it! All mah oh-ple buckin' duties would be revoked! Oh-ples, oh-ples, oh-ples...oh, that's it! I can't think straight no more! It's driving me nutty...I gotta focus on the task at hoof! I promised Rarity some a' this here prized oh-ple cider and that just what I'm gonna give 'er...or mah name ain't Oh-plejack! When one's mind is permitted to wander, the heights it can potentially reach are eerie. Applejack's thinking finally got to the point where she was seriously considering looking up books in the town's library to research the song's origin. But an even better notion was to check out the- "AHH! No way!" she half-panicked. A.J. certainly had nothing against reading, but that didn't mean she was obligated to execute a study session on every single random thought that didn't add up. Like some ponies she knew... It was then that Applejack realized she was passing by the Golden Oak Library, where her friend Twilight Sparkle resided. Despite A.J.'s mentality, paying her a quick visit didn't feel like the worst idea in the world today. A longtime and faithful student of Princess Celestia, the great ruler of Equestria, Twilight was sent to Ponyville to learn about the magic of friendship. After a rocky start, she eventually warmed up to its citizens and before long, she'd become one of Applejack's most trusted and closest friends. Even with the handle of the basket in her mouth, Applejack managed a smile as she reached for the library's front door and- FWASH!! "Whoa, Nelly! What the hay!?" she yelled, dropping the basket and retracting her hoof in response to the loud sound. At the same time, bright, multicolored rays of light shot through the treehouse's numerous windows followed by some yelps and shouts coming from inside. "Good grief, that Twilight must be runnin' one of her dang 'experiments' again," she said to herself. "I think I'll say hello later...I don't feel up to bein' on the receiving end of that horn." A.J. immediately picked up the basket and continued walking towards Rarity's home, albeit at a much faster pace. Upon arriving at the Carousel Boutique, Applejack saw a "CLOSED" sign attached to the establishment's front door. Curtains were also in place, preventing anypony from peeking in. Still, it didn't necessarily mean that Rarity was out to lunch, just that she was currently unavailable. Applejack decided to investigate further and knocked on the door loudly enough that anypony inside could've heard. No answer. She gently jiggled on the handle, half-surprised to find that the door was unlocked. Now that it was open a tiny crack, A.J. leaned her head towards it and... "Ev'rypony decent?" she called out. "I'm comin' in!" Entering Rarity's home, the farm pony's eyes widened at what she saw. Her friend was indeed present, but she was as immersed with her work as Twilight was anytime she was paired up with a nice, thick book. Removing her saddlebags and putting down the basket, A.J.'s peepers darted right, left, up, down and every which way noticing glittery ribbons, threads, yarn and lots of other things moving through the air; more accurately, being levitated about by Rarity's glowing horn. Hanging on a nearby rack were ten elaborate (and completed) gowns, although Applejack noticed that they all bore a variety of dark colors. The white unicorn was undoubtedly composing an eleventh installment. The notion of approaching Rarity didn't sound so wonderful anymore. Nevertheless... "Uh...'scuse me?" "WHAT!?" "Ahhhh!" Applejack jumped not only at Rarity's outburst, but from her appearance. The curls in her purple mane and tail had wilted considerably, there were bags under her eyes and an ugly scowl had taken the place of the smile she normally displayed. "Um...I stopped by to deliver some stuff...but you seem t'be...uh, that is...em, uh...well, by any chance...there anythin' you wanna talk about?" "I'm hardly in the mood for chit-chat, Applejack...but if you must know...! Earlier today, a rather unpleasant encounter with a pompous stallion left me...somewhat, eh..." "Yeeeah?" "Ahem...testy." "Mind givin' me a little more than that?" "Simply put, I gave him an opportunity to escort yours truly on a date tonight...and he had the unmitigated gall to presume that I wasn't his...type! Honestly! I ask you, what could've gotten into his head to suggest that Little Miss Rarity wasn't worth his time!?" "Gee, I can't imagine..." A.J. said, not sounding very convincing. "Exactly!" Rarity shot back. "But the negative experience wasn't without its payoff! The imbecile's...refusal...inspired me to create...and create...and CREATE!" "Yup, I saw them dresses when I came in! And all I can say is...wow! Gotta hoof it t'ya, Rarity! Stitchin' and sewin' creations like these...you've really outdone yerself!" "I'd thank you, but the credit should truly go to a little thing called adrenaline...and as for the lineup in front of you, I call it...THE DARK STORM COMETH!" Applejack meekly and softly clapped her hooves to be polite. "Not a bad name, sugarcube! It's very...imaginative." Satisfied with that response, Rarity finally calmed down and did her best to put on a happy face. "Glad you think so. Oh, be a dear and close the door while I tidy up." Distracted by Rarity's behavior, Applejack embarrassingly realized that she'd forgotten all about it. "Oh, yeah...sure thing! Sorry 'bout that...heh, heh..." she nervously chuckled, turning around to comply with her friend's wishes. Rarity held up her hoof, signifying that it was no big deal. Inserting some magic into the room, much of the leftover materials and tools strewn across the floor were either placed back on their respective shelves or stacked neatly into a recognizable order. Her decorated Persian cat, Opalescence, began to swipe her paw at the various items moving through the air. "Opal! Stop that!" scolded Rarity. The cat was ignorant and let out an apathetic, yet defiant yawn. Fluttershy was the only one Rarity knew of who could handle Opalescence with extreme ease. Unfortunately, she was busy today assisting Pinkie Pie at Sugarcube Corner. So, Rarity did her best to deal with her pet alone by delivering a nasty glare. Being already wound up, it wasn't very difficult to get her point across. "You know I love you dearly...but my patience is wearing thin today and your attempts to hinder my work performance will not be tolerated!" she growled. Opal's eyes went wide, and she quickly put her paw down. "I trust we understand each other, then?" The cat nodded furiously, as if her life depended on it. She then wisely left the room, with her owner watching carefully. "My apologies," Rarity sighed. "Anyway...you, uh...had something for me?" "Sure do!" Applejack replied, beaming. She picked up the basket she'd left by the door and dropped it at Rarity's feet. "What's all this?" "I always make good on mah promises, so I brought ya a bunch of the freshest fruit from the family orchard! One bite of oh-ple should make you feel as right as rain!" Maybe it was the extreme stress she'd been enduring, but the dark demeanor Rarity previously radiated would threaten to show its ugly mug again after that last sentence. "Beg your pardon, but did you say...Opal?" she asked cautiously, wanting to verify the words that had entered her ears. "You got it!" Applejack answered, good-naturedly. "And I would eat Opal because...why?" "Uhh...'cuz just about everypony in Ponyville does...?" "Well, I'm not everypony...am I? In case your memory and eyes aren't in perfect working order, I'm Rarity!" The cowpony began to get annoyed...and those who knew Applejack well enough were aware that if pushed - either physically or verbally - she'd push back just as hard...if not harder. "Mah noggin and mah peepers are workin' jus' fine! And of course I know you're Rarity! Ya never fail to point it out every which way y'go!" "Many a pony benefit from a reputation that proceeds them! I'm immensly fortunate to fall into such a category! But that doesn't change that fact that...I...won't...eat...OPAL!" "Listen, you little picky eater...I ain't forcin' the goods down yer throat! If oh-ples don't suit ya...then don't eat 'em!" "I just said that! Don't you ever listen, you uncouth, stubborn, inflexible farmhoof!?" "Not like I had muchuva choice, y'prim, proper, finicky fashion fanatic! I've listened to ev'ry last syllable spillin' outta that big mouth a' yours!" "BIG MOUTH?!? Look who's talking! Just because your family provides a significant amount of food for the community doesn't give you the authority to dictate what I can or can't eat!" "I ain't ta blame here! I was bein' a regular, neighborly pony, payin' you a visit and generously offerin' some a' these here oh-ples! But like always, Lil' Miss Rarity's gotta go and make a big deal outta nothin'! That's a mighty fine way of thankin' me for my kind gesture!" "I'm making a big deal because you're seriously suggesting I should eat Opal! An act I find utterly repulsive!" Applejack was really angry now. What ponies chose to eat was their own decision. But when somepony had the nerve to insult the very product that supported the Apple family, they'd just uncovered a method to immediately summon disaster. "Oh, no you DIDN'T!" she bellowed. "I know you weren't just talkin' trash about oh-ples!" "The last time I checked, I was entitled to my own opinion...including my standpoints regarding both you and Opal!" "Oh-ples are oh-ples! They're natural, healthy and delicious! Also, when I eat my oh-ple-" "That's another thing! When did you take into that thick head that Opal was yours!?" "Uh...because it IS! Always has been!" "Have that brain examined! Working too many hours on a farm has made you delusional!" "How would you know? All you do is hide yerself away in this joint, obsessively thinkin' about them jewel-laced wardrobes!" "You're the one who doesn't know what they're talking about! You could never hope to fathom what my work entails! "Oh, really? Let's see here..." Removing her hat, Applejack grabbed a medium-sized piece of fabric off of the floor (one of the few that Rarity failed to pick up), draped it over her head and tied the corners under her chin like a headscarf. "Ohh! Lookie me!" she squeaked in a high-pitched voice. Rarity stared at the sight in front of her, clearly not amused. "I'm the BEE-YOO-TEE-FOOL Queen Rarity, worshipper of silky, smooth, frou-frou dresses and I can't help but scream my head off at the sight of dust, puffy eyes, and OH-PLE!" The frown on the unicorn's face transformed into a smirk as her mind formulated up the perfect countermeasure. "Ha! Very chic, Applejack...but I do believe it's my turn now!" Rarity promptly retrieved the Stetson hat that had been left on the floor and placed it on her own head. "Ahem...well, fry mah hide! I'm yer friendly, neighborhood Applejack! This gal's main talent involves kickin' thangs like trees and anypony that gets in mah way! Pardon these muddy hooves and disgustin' sweat of mine! I'm just takin' the heat somethin' awful tonight!" "Mud and sweat builds character! It's all part a' livin' on a farm full of oh-ples!" Applejack retorted, removing the scarf. Rarity tossed her (borrowed) headwear onto a nearby table. She was so infuriated that she didn't even bother to use her magic. "Since we're back on the subject, I wish to state for the record that Opal never makes me scream! I wouldn't eat Opal for all the money in the world! Not even if my life depended on it!" "Is that so?" "Absolutely so! I care far too much for Opal to stuff such a darling little thing into my belly!" "Now wait just an oh-ple-pickin minute! First you go on a rant about how ya hate oh-ple, but now yer sayin' ya care more for oh-ple than life itself!?" The argument had finally reached its boiling point with both ponies narrowing their eyes at their opponent, readying for the last round of bickering and bantering. "Has this discussion been going in circles? I SAID I SHAN'T EAT OPAL!" "Wouldn't matter if we were jabbering in squares! I SAID YA AIN'T GOTTA EAT OH-PLE!" "I WON'T! BUT IF YOU'RE SO OBSESSED, GET YOUR OWN PRECIOUS OPAL AND EAT TO YOUR HEART'S CONENT!" "I WILL! I'LL EAT OH-PLE UNTIL THE END A' TIME IF I WANNA, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!" "I INSIST, THANK YOU!" "NO, THANK YOU!" "FINE!" "FINE!" Rarity and Applejack squeezed their eyes shut and swiftly whipped their heads away from the sight of each other and ended the conversation with a simultaneous- "HMPH!" For the next twenty to thirty seconds, all was quiet in the Carousel Boutique. Neither mare dared to move a single muscle. The uncomfortable silence came to a close as the girls slowly turned to face each other with an equal expression of uncertainty. Applejack blinked once. Rarity did the same. The former was the first to reignite her powers of speech. "Uh...wait a sec...what in tarnation were we screamin' about again?" "You know...I'm not sure anymore." Applejack frowned and scuffed her hoof against the carpeted floor. Rarity was pouting a bit, looking rather ashamed of her outburst. "Land sakes...even though mah little sis ain't here...I'm supposed to be settin' a good example for her. I...can't believe I let m'fool pie hole run off like that..." "I'm as much to blame," admitted a solemn, sighing Rarity. "My already agitated condition certainly didn't help things...but that's no excuse for the horrible things I said." "I'm real...real sorry for...well...whatever was or...wasn't worth barkin' back and forth over." "As am I, Applejack." "Truce?" "Truce." The two friends exchanged inevitable, apologetic smiles and hugged each other firmly and happily. Rarity magically lifted Applejack's hat, returning it to its place of origin. "Then it's a done deal! I say we both drop the dumb hissy fit, sugarcube! What say we grab some grub?" "Capital idea! I haven't had much to eat today." As the two of them left the boutique, Rarity asked... "So, what are you in the mood for?" "Hmm..." Good question. Although glad that the notorious debate was over and done with, Applejack decided it'd be best to turn her attention away from the fruit growing on her farm back home, lest another confusing argument arise. She couldn't put her hoof on it, but a stray thought (perhaps a subconscious one) began to make its way to the surface. For the next couple of hours, an odd craving for a different food would dance inside her head and A.J. was destined to face much difficulty in eating anything else. It was driving her bo-no-nos. But an establishment like Sugarcube Corner could provide a sweet snack to help her think. Something like a bo-no-no flavored shake or a bo-no-no split might do the trick. Anypony would be game for something like that, right? "Tell me somethin', Rarity...y'like bo-no-nos?" "BO-WHAT-NOW!?" Indeed, Rarity. Indeed. THE END (YEAH, RIGHT!)