Prompt: Pinkie Pie Collects 100
“Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred!” A bubbly, cheerful-looking pink mare gave a squeal of delight as she surveyed the various implements of death and destruction scattered among the room around her. “That’s thirty-eight pistols, twenty-six high-caliber automatic rifles, twelve heavy machine guns, four shotguns, six light machine guns, a pair of sniper rifles, three each of rocket and grenade launchers, some kind of vaporizer ray, a bazooka, two cannons, party and non-party, a mortar, aaaaaand...” She did a happy little twirl as she retrieved an ominous-looking remote from a nearby stool, nearly the only object in the basement that wasn’t covered by some weapon or other. “A laser-guided, remote-controlled, chaffscatter-resistant nuclear missile launching system!” She glanced at the basement doorway’s dumbfounded occupants and gave a small, confused frown. “What, what’s wrong?” She gave a gasp. “Oh, of course! Silly me! I forgot to arm the silo!” She rolled her eyes and gave herself a smack on the back of the head. “Oh, Pinkie, how could you be so absent-minded?!”
“Pinkie-”
“Oh, just hang on one minute, Twilight! This’ll only take a jiffy!”
“Pinkie, I-”
“Really! I just have to pop over to that one hill by the tree, go down the hidden elevator, turn the arming key, and then-”
“PINKIE!” Twilight’s shout was nearly loud enough to rattle Sugarcube Corner’s upstairs windows, and the sheer force of it made the pink mare stop her rambling long enough to give her an inquisitive look.
“What?”
Twilight gave a massive, long-suffering sigh, bringing her hoof against her face with a resounding THUD. She repeated the gesture several more times, until Pinkie grabbed the offending appendage and held it in the air.
“Why’d you do that, silly filly?” she asked cheerfully. “Doesn’t it hurt?”
With another sigh, Twilight opened her eyes, doing her best to block out the gigantic pile of armaments in front of her.
“Pinkie,” she said, with the air of a pony who is trying their absolute hardest not to succumb to at least seven entirely different sorts of nervous breakdown, “I said buns.”
Pinke frowned and cocked her head. “Buns? What do you mean, Twilight?”
“Buns, Pinkie! Cinnamon buns! One hundred buns for Granny Smith’s one hundredth birthday!” Twilight screamed, her mane twitching and letting a few stray hairs free. “Buns, not guns!”
Pinkie stopped, frowned, did a slow, methodical 360 of the weapon-filled basement, then nodded slowly as comprehension dawned. “Oooooooooh!” She winced. “Oh, I’m so sorry, Twilight! I thought I might have heard you wrong and I was thinking, ‘maybe she wanted buns, or nuns, or maybe even suns,’ but that seemed silly, and then I decided to just go with guns because that’s what I had heard and I didn’t want to disappoint you and mess up everything and-” She was cut off by Twilight shoving a purple hoof inside her mouth.
“It’s fine. I mean, you were just trying to help, but...” she glanced around the room again. “Where did you even get this?”
Pinkie shrugged and mumbled something through the other mare’s hoof. Twilight rolled her eyes, removing it and saying resignedly, “Well, as incredibly contrived and unlikely as this coincidence may be, it just so happens that we’ll actually be able to use these.” The unicorn walked gingerly over to a heavy machine gun that was nearly twice the length she was tall, hefting it with her telekinesis and slamming in a mag. “Ponyville’s under attack by a legion of undead griffons, and we’re going to need all the firepower we can get. Come on, let’s go outside and help the others” She turned to see Pinkie in a full camo uniform, complete with warpaint, toting a pair of shotguns, a revolver, and a rocket launcher strapped across her back. The bubbly mare looked at her dumbfounded friend, nodding in approval at the unicorn’s choice of armament.
“Twilight?”
“Y...yes, Pinkie?”
There was a click as the Pinkie loaded the last of the shells into the shotguns, locking the barrells and spinning them back into their holsters with the skill only a veteran could have. She grinned.
“Way ahead of you.”