It took a while but you finally managed to make your way through the dark garden back to the castle. You wonder who in the hell was the architect that designed the garden because during your journey, you nearly fell into fifteen pit traps, ran into several Venus fly traps, and somehow came across a group of ravenous zombies.
Why does the princess even have a group of zombies in her garden anyway?!
You head back inside contemplating on which part of the castle you should search next until your stomach answers that question for you with a loud growl. So you quickly decide to head to the buffet table in the ballroom to get something to eat. Who knows you might even find Cloudy in there.
You enter the ballroom and at first glance you can’t find Cloudy at all, but you easily see the buffet table and make your way towards it. You become amazed at the sight of all the delicacies put in front of you. It is lined with many types of foods that you have never even seen nor heard of, but you notice an empty platter with a small sign on top of it.
The sign says ‘Stuffed peppers’, so maybe they haven’t brought it out yet. You then begin to grab whatever looks delicious to you.
Meanwhile in the kitchen
Chefs everywhere are at their workstations preparing every single one of the princesses complicating orders.
Among them all, there was the head chef who was talking so fast, it would leave you in confusion and have babbling for the next twenty-three minutes. Luckily, he had a translator.
The head chef said, “Incomprehensible gibberish”.
His translator quickly states, “He said ‘Where are those stuffed peppers?!’”
“Wait, I got another idea of what we could do.” Shouted one of the chefs.
The head chef replies, “More incomprehensible gibberish”.
“He said ‘It better be good or your flank is outta here.’ I hope it’s good for your sake.”
“It’s an invention of mine that I’d like to call ‘Ramen noodles’, after myself of course. Here have a taste.” Says Ramen while handing the head chef a hot bowl of salty noodles and broth.
The head chef takes a sip of it and throws the hot bowl right back into the chefs face.
“OH DEAR CELESTIA, IT BURNS!” screamed Ramen.
“(I really have no idea what the fuck this dude is saying).” Shouted the head chef.
“The head chef said, “You’re fired Mr. Noodles and don’t expect to be paid for your time here with us.” Said the translator with the calmest tone of voice.
“I HATE YOU!” shouted Ramen as he began crying and running out the door. “AND NOODLES ISN’T IN MY NAME!”
After that scene the chef just made, the head chef realized that he needed another chef to be able to prepare the stuffed peppers since all his best chefs were working on other dishes and all the others were basically idiots that set fire to nearly anything they touched.
The translator, who was also a top-notch advisor, said to the chef, “We need somepony to make the peppers and we just lost one of our good chefs. Might I suggest we kidnap somepony who’s not an idiot to make the dish?”
The head chef contemplates on this and answers the translators question with a nod.
“Excellent I will be right back.”
And so the translator headed off into the ballroom to kidnap somepony who wasn’t an idiot. He looks over to the table and sees a regular stallion admiring the food.
“Well I guess he’ll do.” The translator thought to himself as he made his way over there with a burlap sack.
Back at the table
You finish eating up whatever it was that you picked off the table and now that your stomach was full, you would be able to be more focused on finding Cloudy. However before you could do anything a sack comes over your sight, engulfing you into darkness as you feel like you’re being lifted up and taken somewhere.
“WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING, SOMEPONY HELP!” you shout through the sack.
The crowd notices you being kidnapped but didn’t bother to help you because this is Equestria and this type of stuff happens almost every day.
About two and a half minutes later
You are still in the bag being pretty pissed about the fact that nopony tried to save when suddenly you violently thrown out of the sack. When you get on your feet you realize that you’ve been taken to the kitchen and there is a pony that is wearing a chef’s hat and is who is also glaring at you intensely.
The pony speaks but his voice is moving too fast for you to comprehend and it leaves you slightly confused about what’s going on right now.
“I’m terribly sorry sir, allow me to translate.” Said another pony that suddenly appeared next to the pony in the chef hat. “He said, ‘Hello there new employee. You have been specially chosen to be a chef for Princess Celestias precious guests and will be in charge of making the stuffed peppers and any other sort of dishes that have been requested from us. We know how exciting this must be for you since you’ve always dreamed of cooking for the Grand Galloping Gala and now you’re here fulfilling that dream don’t let us down and everything will be fine.’ Ohhh, how lucky are you, huh?” said the translator.
You can’t believe the amount of bullshit that has just been piled in front of you and you don’t even try to argue with them. You immediately start heading for the door but are stopped by the head chef.
“(Something that sounds like a mating call).” Yelled the head chef.
“He said, ‘Don’t try to leave or you’ll regret it’. Please just make this easier on all of us.” Pleaded the translator.
“And just why would I do that?” You asked.
The head chef sounded like he was choking on something, reaches behind him, and just like the gardener he suddenly pulls out your underwear. You become relieved that it wasn’t your ticket but you still feel just as violated.
“I believe that a translation isn't required for this one.” Stated the translator.
Just how does everypony manage to get their hooves on your underwear?
Wearing that underwear underneath your suit always made you feel good. Without it, you don’t feel complete.
“Fine, I’ll make your damned peppers.” You say as you head towards one of the counters.
“That’s the wrong one.” Says the translator.
“Oh” You head over to another one.
“That’s the furnace.”
“Dammit” You crawl out of the furnace and make your way over towards the cutting boards where you were supposed to go in the first place.
You head to a cutting board that is littered with peppers and other ingredients. You had no idea how to cook since you never took any classes and you were forced here against your will, but you went on with it anyway.
You try to cut open the top of the pepper but you never had any experience with a knife and you accidently cut yourself a few times. After about the fifth try you finally manage to cut open the top of the pepper and you mentally celebrate your accomplishment until you see the multiple peppers on the other side of the board.
“Fuck my life.”
Many accidents and peppers later
You finally cut open all the peppers and you no longer have to use the knives anymore. You look at your hooves to see them covered in small cuts and a bit of blood. They were also burning because somepony went and accidently threw salt onto your workstation and over your hooves.
You now move on to stuffing the peppers with whatever you could. You still had no idea what to do so of course, you just winged it.
You threw in whatever you could get your hooves on. Vegetables, cheese, meat, and some powder from this canister with a skull and crossbones on it. You thought about that powder stuff that you put in but ended up forgetting about it since you wanted to look for Cloudy so badly; you needed to get out.
“Their ready.” You shout out to the head chef.
And soon one of the waiters takes the meal you prepared and heads out the door with it. You follow him but once again you are stopped by the head chef.
“Oh come on, I made your stuffed peppers and got injured on the job while doing it, now let me go.” You whine to him.
“Incomprehensible gibberish again.”
“He says that he still has many more dishes left for you to make, starting with this specific one.” Said the translator as he pulled out a slip of paper with the specific order. It read ‘One order of soup. Flavor: the tears of my enemies.’
“He gave us this vial.” He said pulling out a small container full of what were probably tears of the stallion’s enemies.
You reluctantly take the vial and made your way over to the stove. You were not going to actually cook this and you needed to escape.
That is when you decide that you don’t need underwear anymore and that you were more comfortable going commando anyway and now all you need to do is make a plan to distract the chef.
And then some country mare comes right through the kitchen door saying that she needed to make some sort of fancy-shmancy food for the ponies out there. The head chef began yelling at her, shouting out words so fast that not even the translator could understand what he was saying. And he was a professional.
You take this chance to escape and dash out the kitchen doors and back into the ballroom.
You decided that enough was enough. You just wanted to find Cloudy and be with her the rest of the night. You spend the next fifteen minutes searching the room until you finally find her and that unicorn that she was with.
You head over towards them and when you get a closer look, it seems as if he’s yelling at Cloudy. You stand there as he continues to yell at her until she looks like she can't take anymore and runs out of the ballroom tears falling out of her eyes.
“Oh he's going to burn.” You growl to yourself as you start trotting over to him thinking about all the terrible things that you were going to do to him.