Hi, everypony, and welcome to another episode of Twilight Tries! And welcome as well to the first of what I’m hoping will be many episodes of a new show that I’m planning on hosting!
What kind of new show am I going to host, you may ask? Well, the show I’m going to host is…a game show!
*SQUEE*
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Hehe.
Sorry if I seem a bit overzealous right now, but I’m just really excited to be doing this game show. After I learned about it on my last visit to Sunset Shimmer’s world I just couldn’t resist the opportunity to bring it back to Equestria with me and share it with all of you.
But I feel like I’m getting a little ahead of myself, so allow me to explain.
As I just mentioned, I recently paid a visit to Sunset Shimmer’s world to hang out with her and all of my Canterlot High friends. All of us ended up doing a lot of fun and interesting things together while I was there, but the biggest highlight of the trip for me was on the last night when it was just Sunset and I. We sat down on her couch together to watch some TV to help us unwind after the busy day we’d both had, and that was when I discovered it; a wonderful game show dedicated to promoting and rewarding knowledge called Jeopardy!
*SQUEE*
Even just saying the name fills me with glee!
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Hehe.
Sorry about that…again.
Anywhoo, Jeopardy! is a game in which three contestants are quizzed on general knowledge through clues. Now I know that that sounds a lot like Trivia Trot or any other regular old quiz-based game, but there’s a very interesting aspect to Jeopardy!; the clues are presented in the form of answers and the contestants have to phrase their responses in the form of a question such as ‘What is…’ or ‘Who is…’. So for example, a clue could be, ‘This unicorn carries the title, “Father of the amniomorphic spell”’, and the correct response would be, ‘Who is Starswirl the Bearded’.
I mean I know that’s way too obvious to be an actual clue, but you get the idea.
So now that I’ve explained how the game works, let’s meet the three ponies who’ll be our contestants today.
Our first contestant runs an animal sanctuary and is originally from Cloudsdale; Fluttershy!
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Well thank you for accepting the invitation, Fluttershy.
Our second contestant helps run Sweet Apple Acres with her family and is a Ponyville-native; Applejack!
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Glad to hear you’re excited to play, AJ.
Our third and final contestant is a Wonderbolt and also originally hails from Cloudsdale; Rainbow Dash!
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Y-Yes, well, I’m sure that you’ll give Applejack a run for her bits in this game, Rainbow.
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Um, y-yeah, I’m sure that you’ll give Rainbow just as big a run for her bits as well, Applejack.
Oh boy, I may have made a mistake asking both Rainbow and AJ to play. I forgot just how competitive these two can get with one another.
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Aaand they’re giving each other the angry eyes before we’ve even started playing. Super.
All right, everypony, let’s get this game underway, shall we? If you’ll all look over here you’ll see the game board with our six categories for today. And the categories are:
‘Potent Potables’.
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‘Nightmare Night Frights’.
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‘The “Aye”s Have It’.
Notice the “Aye” in quotation marks, meaning that each correct response will contain the word “Aye” somewhere in it.
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‘Magical Artifacts’.
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‘Gases of Uranus’.
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And finally, ‘Equestrian History’.
Fluttershy, you won the coin toss earlier so you get to pick the first category.
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‘The “Aye”s Have It’ for 200 bits.
And the clue is: ‘This theorem, named after an 18th century statistician, describes the probability of an event based on prior knowledge of conditions related to that event’.
*RING*
Applejack.
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No, I’m sorry, ‘Soothsayer’s Theorem’ is incorrect.
I’m pretty sure there isn’t a theorem that even goes by that name.
*RING*
Rainbow Dash.
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I’m sorry, ‘Long Division Theorem’ is also incorrect.
I don’t even know where to start with what’s wrong with that response.
Fluttershy, care to ring in?
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No?
All right then. The correct response was, ‘What is Bayes Theorem’.
Seems like we’re off to a bit of a bumpy start, but that’s okay.
It’s still your board, Fluttershy. Pick again.
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‘Nightmare Night Frights’ for 600 bits.
Oh good, this is an easy one.
The clue is: ‘Fillies and colts offer up candy to this pony on Nightmare Night so that she won’t gobble them up’.
*RING*
Yes, Rainbow Dash.
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Huh?
Um, no, I’m sorry. ‘Queen Chrysalis’ is incorrect.
*RING*
Applejack.
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N-No. ‘The Pony of Shadows’ isn’t correct either.
What is going on here?
Fluttershy?
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Still not going to answer, huh?
*SIGH*
The correct response was, ‘Who is Nightmare Moon’.
Pick again, Fluttershy.
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‘Equestrian History’ for 1000 bits.
And the clue is: ‘This princess wielded the Elements of Harmony 1000 years ago to save Equestria from eternal night’.
*RING*
Rainbow Dash.
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No, ‘Princess Cadance’ isn’t correct! Cadance never wielded the Elements of Harmony! Heck, even if she had she wasn’t alive 1000 years ago!
*RING*
Applejack.
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Huh…But I…What?! Who the hay is ‘André the Giant’?!
Am I being punked right now? I really feel like I’m being punked right now.
*RING*
Discord.
Discord?! What are you doing here?! And what happened to Fluttershy?!
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She had a sudden animal-related emergency and she asked you to fill in for her?
Uh-huh, sure.
Well regardless, since you’re here and you rang in I suppose you might as well answer.
This should be good.
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Oh my gosh, yes! ‘Princess Celestia’ is correct!
Finally, a correct response!
Okay, Discord, you’re in control of the board. Pick a category.
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What do you mean that’s not your name?
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You seriously want me to call you by the name you wrote on your podium?
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Fine, whatever.
Just please pick a category, Captain Wuzz.
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Oh for -
The category is ‘Gases of Uranus’, Discord ,not ‘Gases of -’
Nope, I’m not going to say it. I am not going to say it out loud.
Let’s just go with ‘Magical Artifacts’ for 800 bits.
And the clue is: ‘Grogar used this magical artifact to drain the magic of others and help him create a great number of dangerous beasts’.
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Seriously?! No pony’s going to answer this one?! We all fought Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy Glow not that long ago over this magical item!
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And that’s time. The correct response was, ‘What is the Bewitching Bell’.
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Okay, that doesn’t even make any sense, Discord. How could my mother possibly be the Bewitching Be – oh, I think I just got it. You’re insinuating that my mother is a prostitute, aren’t you?
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I know I should feel angry right now, but I don’t. All I feel right now is this strange mixture of confusion and vexation that I didn’t even know existed until we started playing this game.
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Oh no. No more picking categories, Discord. We’re just going to go right to the Final Jeopardy round now so that this madness can end.
And the category for Final Jeopardy is – you know what, just write down an Element of Harmony.
Any Element of Harmony, any at all. We’ve all dealt with the Elements of Harmony many times over the years so I know that each of you knows at least one of them. Some of you represent an Element of Harmony so you can write that one down if you want, or you can write down one of the other five Elements if you prefer. It doesn’t matter which Element of Harmony you choose, any of the six will be acceptable. Just…please write down an Element of Harmony.
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Okay, let’s start with you, Rainbow. Which Element of Harmony did you write down?
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You wrote down…‘Cheese grater’.
Well, at least you didn’t write down ‘five turtlenecks’ along with that.
And you wagered…‘8lbs. of Asiago’.
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Moving on.
All right, Applejack, let’s see which Element of Harmony you chose.
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You wrote down…‘Apple’.
And you wagered…‘Jack’.
I’m not even surprised by any of this anymore.
*SIGH*
Okay, Discord, what nonsense answer did you write down?
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You wrote down…‘Magic’?
That’s…that’s a correct answer! Magic is an Element of Harmony! Oh I am so happy! I’m just…I’m so happy right now!
Thank you. Thank you, Discord.
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Yes, I completely agree. Sometimes we don’t see eye-to-eye, but at the end of the day we’re still friends.
And with that I think we’ll wrap things up here, everypony. So as always, thanks for watching, and I’ll see you next time on Twilight -
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Oh, right. Sorry, Discord. We still have to see what you wagered.
What you wagered was…’Friendship is not’.
Um, I’m afraid I don’t underst – no, no wait, I do understand. You’re say ‘Friendship is not magic’ but like Yoda would.
Real funny, Discord. Real funny.
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You can stop laughing any time now, Discord.
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*SIGH*
Okay, well, while Discord has his little laughing fit I think we’ll really end this episode now. So again, thanks for watching, everypony, and I’ll see you next time on Twilight Tries.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go take Applejack and Rainbow Dash to the hospital for a CT scan. After what we just witnessed here today I’m legitimately concerned that their hyper-competitiveness with one another has short-circuited their brains.
Then after that I should probably go find Fluttershy and make sure she's all right.
Oh, and real quick, don’t count on there being any further episodes of Jeopardy! from me. As much as I like this game show there is no way in Tartarus I am ever going to try hosting it again.
Just...never again.