//------------------------------//
// Chapter 13: A Little Treason 
// Story: Caverns & Cutie Marks: Our House Now 
// by TheColtTrio 
//------------------------------//

Purple Heart stopped walking as yet another pony threw open yet another door in his path as he walked down the street. Face twitching with barely contained irritation, he inhaled deeply in a mighty attempt to not send the offender flying. The pony shut the door and jerked in surprise at seeing the large purple stallion next to them.
“OH! I’m sorry! I didn’t see you there!” the brightly colored mare squeaked.
“Obviously,” Purple Heart drawled.
The mare winced and gave a shaky smile. Music wafted to the pair on the breeze and she turned to look down the street, her worry of Purple Heart vanishing.
“Oooh! I’m not too late!” The mare breathed a sigh of relief and looked at Purple Heart again. “Sorry, Mister!” She slung her bag over her shoulder and dashed down the street, breaking out into song as she ran. “Good morning, Baltimaaaare~!”
Purple Heart twitched, watching countless ponies singing their way through the streets. The large earth pony rolled his eyes and rubbed his forehead with a forehoof.
“This was a mistake,” he growled, turning away from the singing ponies. “This was a mistake, this was a mistake, this was a mistake.” He groaned, rubbing at his face again. “I should’ve gone to Manehattan. That’s where the actors I need are.”
“Excuse me.” Purple Heart looked up and nearly choked on air. “I couldn’t help but overhear you, but did you say you were looking for actors? What kind?”
The purple and green earth pony could only give a weak nod as he stared at a large purple and blue earth pony in front of him. The blue earth pony frowned.
“Are you okay?” he asked. The green earth pony shook himself and nodded again.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized, “it’s just you look remarkably familiar.” The blue earth pony chuckled.
“First time I’ve heard that,” he said. He held out a hoof. “My name is Purple Heart.”
The green earth pony grinned weakly and tapped his hoof against Purple Heart’s. “Me- Ah. Mine is Purple… Patches. Purple Patches”
Purple cocked an eyebrow at Batches. “Unusual coincidence of names, eh?” Purple Patches swallowed and let out a weak chuckle.
“Eeyup,” Patches affirmed softly. “Parents saw the purple and thought simplicity was best.”
Purple Heart snorted and nodded. “Same here. Though… we both seem to bear a striking resemblance to one another.”
Purple Patches looked at himself and then back at the colt before him. “I have to admit we do,” he agreed. “Save for color, we could be twins.” He smiled at Purple Heart.
“Why not address each other by surnames?” Purple Heart suggested. “I’ll call you Patches and you call me Heart.”
“Well, that makes things a little less confusing,” Patches commented. He blinked. “Oh! Your question! Yes, I am looking for actors. I was going to find a location to set up auditions for a play I’m producing.”
Heart arched an eyebrow. “What play?” he asked.
“MacHawk by Testament Shudderstick.”
Heart snorted. “You came to Baltimare to audition ponies for a Shudderstick play? I can’t help but think you aren’t from around here.”
Patches grinned ruefully. “My friend, you have no idea,” he said.
Heart grinned. “Well, Baltimare is home to more musical types than drama actors.” The purple and blue colt waved a hoof down the street at the still singing ponies. “I’m sure you can guess why.”
Patches gave a self-deprecating snort. “In all fairness, this is the first play I’ve produced,” he conceded. He squinted contemplatively at Heart. “From you nigh derisive tone regarding the denizens of Baltimare, I presume you’re a drama actor?”
Heart’s lips twisted in a smirk. “Maybe.”
“What say you reach out to some fellow actors and get the word out that I’m looking to audition some ponies?” Patches suggested.
Heart arched an eyebrow and shrugged. “I could be persuaded,” he allowed.
A grin stretched across Patches’ face. “What do you have in mind?”
Heart was silent for a moment as he mulled over his thoughts. “Hold the auditions in Vanhoover,” he said, his face serious. “Manehattan is great and all for stage productions, but I think this could be better suited for helping up and coming actors wanting to make a name for themselves.” He shrugged. “Besides, I’ve done the play before.”
Patches hummed to himself, considering the demand. After a moment of reflection, he nodded. “You got it,” he declared.
Heart grinned. “Fantastic!” He stepped past Patches and wrapped a hoof around the green colt’s shoulder, leading him back to the train station. “You know, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship.” Patches returned the smile and nodded.
“Indeed.”


	* * *


“What do you mean you already have a director in mind?” Heart asked as he and Patches stepped off the train into Seabiscuit-Tacoltma Central Station. Patches narrowed his eyes, casting a look over his shoulder at the purple earth pony.
“Exactly what I meant,” he replied. “I already know who I want to direct MacHawk.”
“Fantastic,” Heart drawled. “Who?”
“Discord.”
Heart stared at the green and purple earth pony, a look of dumbstruck surprise on his face. “...Wat?!” he squawked. “Discord?! As in ‘Tried to Take Over Equestria Multiple Times’ Discord?! That Discord?!”
Patches rolled his eyes as they swept through the doors and out into the city of Seabiscuit. “No,” he replied. “I meant the ‘Wet Rag That Folds Every Time Fluttershy Smiles’ Discord.”
Heart frowned. “Are we talking about the same Discord?”
“Yes.”
“Okay… Who’s Fluttershy?”
Patches gave a gusty sigh and rolled his head back to look at the overcast sky. “Why do I have the dumb one?” he muttered.
“What’d you say?”
“Nothing.”
“More like something, if I do say so myself,” Discord said, cheerfully popping into existence behind the colts. Both Purple Heart and Purple Patches bolted away from the draconequus, clinging to each other as they breathed rapidly.
“Holy carp! Where’d you come from?!” Heart gasped out.
Discord spun a long string of pink colored tubing around a claw. “Oh, I was just listening in to anypony that might be talking about me,” he mused, stifling a yawn. “These Extendable Ears are really something. I’ll have to tip the Twins.” He threw the tube over a shoulder and approached the clingy colts. “Now, what can I do for you, Purple Heart? Perhaps you’re experiencing some villainous leanings and need a little guidance?”
The purple colt in question blinked in confusion. He looked questioningly at Purple Patches. “What is he talking about?”
“Haven’t the foggiest idea,” Patches lied quickly.
“Oh, come now,” Discord chided, vanishing and reappearing behind the two colts. He slung his arms around their shoulders and started walking aimlessly down the street, carrying the hapless pair along with him. “I just had a very interesting discussion with somepony you may know. He was quite absorbed with asking questions about my villainous past.”
Purple Heart and Patches shared a look across Discord’s chest. “Oh really?” Heart said. “What friend are we talkin’ about?”
Discord stopped walking and scowled. With an unnecessarily flamboyant gesture, he snapped the fingers on his paw hand, ignoring Purple Patches’ involuntary flinch. A blue wormhole opened right in front of the trio, allowing them to see a mint-colored pinto stallion glaring at a book on a table.
“Wits End?” Heart and Patches chorused, surprised to see the familiar colt. Wits End looked up from his book and briefly made eye-contact with the two colts. His eyebrows climbed up his forehead and he blinked once.
“Wha-”
The portal closed and Discord resumed walking, Heart and Patches still trapped to his sides.
“See, he came to me asking about why my villainous activities have been reduced to simply-” Another pair of hands sprouted from his chest and made air quotes, “-‘shenanigans ensue’.” The hands disappeared back into his chest. Purple Heart shivered in disgust and muttered under his breath, ‘appendages don’t go there.’ Purple Patches just hoped his threads didn’t look as gut-wrenching when they popped out of his body.
“We went back and forth for a while on evilness and such when he finally made a portal and went Audi 5000,” Discord regaled the pair. His walking stopped. “He gave me some curious advice about other ponies that may want to talk to me about villainous stuff and such.” He opened his arms, dropping Heart and Patches to the ground. Both landed heavily on legs that promptly folded under their weight, leaving them slumped on the ground. Both colts glared up at a grinning Discord.
“I hate you,” the pair chorused again.
Discord gave a dismissive shrug. “I’m sure I’ll get over it,” the draconequus replied jovially. He snapped his claws and a cauldron appeared, which he promptly hopped into. A wave of his paw summoned a sledgehammer that he gripped firmly and swung into the pavement. Instead of the sledge remaining stuck in the concrete, it pivoted, bringing Discord and cauldron over Heart and Patches’ heads.
“Can you stop with the visual puns for one moment, please?!” Purple Patches snapped irritably. Discord sighed as the cauldron cracked the road and he hopped out of his impromptu vessel.
“Very well,” the draconequus grumbled. “Ruin my fun, why don’t you?”
“Don’t tempt me,” Patches warned. Discord sighed heavily, his breath billowing through the colts’ manes.
“So, what can I do for you colts today? Do you need any help plotting some fiendish scheme cleverly disguised as a harmless collection of shenanigans?” Discord asked. “Is it a scheme so clever you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel?”
Heart frowned in confusion at Discord. Patches sucked his lips between his teeth, trying not to look conspicuous.
Heart coughed into a hoof and stepped up to Discord.
“We were wondering if you’d be interested in directing a play for us,” he said. “It’s been done many times over the years, but it always uses the same boring old themes.” He let out a gusty sigh and shook his head disparagingly. “We’re hoping that, should you accept, you’d bring a new perspective to the play, something fresh and new that will improve upon the years of rote boredom this play has suffered under.”
Discord blinked.
“Nice pitch,” he replied. “Hit that one out of the park.” He took a baseball bat and smacked an oncoming ball into the distance. “You’ve got me interested. What’s the play?”
“Sac-fly to right field,” Patches interrupted. Discord and Purple Heart blinked at the other colt in confusion. The green earth pony coughed into a hoof. “MacHawk,” he said hurriedly.
“Aaaah,” Discord sighed. “A Shudderstick play. One of my favorites beside Piglet.” He rubbed his chin thoughtfully, gazing off into the distance. “I suppose you two will be producing this production?” Purple Heart shook his head.
“I’m going to audition for a role,” the purple colt specified. “If anything, I’ll double as casting director as well. I have the most experience with the actors in the Seabiscuit area.”
“Huh,” Discord chuffed. “Very well. And what about you?” He addressed Patches. “Are you acting as well?”
Patches shook his head too. “I’ll be producing,” he replied. “Gives me a chance to rub shoulders with some patrons and backers.”
Discord arched an eyebrow at the green splotched earth pony. “I hope your backers aren’t wizened old nags,” he mused. “Though if they are, you do you.” Purple Patches’s face twisted into a grimace and he shuddered involuntarily.
“Ugh,” he groaned. “Thanks for that image.” He shook his head quickly and glared at Discord. “I’m thinking of getting some Canterlot movers and shakers interested. I’m sure they’ll enjoy a tale of drama, intrigue, and murder. Everything they don’t have in Canterlot.”
Discord squinted at the green colt. “That sounds vaguely like treason to me,” the reformed being remarked. Patches shrugged.
“Eh, it’s only for entertainment,” he evaded. “What’s not to love about Shudderstick?”
“Young ponies?” Discord retorted. The pair of colts winced and gave involuntary retching sounds.
“Touche,” they chorused.
Discord squinted at the pair for a moment, then sighed.  “I’ll do it. I’ll direct this catastrophe.”
Purple Heart blinked. “Really? No terms and conditions? Don’t you want to write up a contract.”
Discord waved a paw dismissively. “We can discuss the details later,” he responded. “I do know that I want a grandiose and over the top cast party for myself.” He stepped forward and wrapped an arm around Purple Heart and Patches’ shoulder, squeezing the colts to his sides again.
“I think this is the start of a beautiful business venture,” the draconequus declared jovially.
“Indeed,” the two colts wheezed.
“Now, where to, gents? Auditions must start immediately! Time is money!”
“Snohomare,” Purple Heart gasped.
“Fantastic!” With a pop, the trio vanished.


* * *


“When I got the letter from Mister Patches, I didn’t think his first favor would be to organise a lunch for some of Canterlot’s ruling elite,” Jewel Canterlet muttered to herself. The copper coated mare was standing beside Roam Mountague as the pair waited by the Host Podium to be seated.
“Be grateful it wasn’t a more outlandish favor,” Roam commented. “He could have asked for something a little more difficult to accomplish. This is just a casual lunch between friends.”
“Yes,” Jewel agreed tartly. “A ‘casual lunch’ with a retired guardscolt with a number of illustrious accolades, the Head of the Canterlet Guard Academy, the Head of Mountague Discovery, the Head of Canterlot Education, the Court Speaker, and the Head of the Arts. And, we’re having this lunch at Cheese’t Moi, the restaurant of the Premier Chef in Equestria. This is hardly casual. Mister Patches wants something.” Roam shifted uncomfortably and grinned weakly at his fiance. His response was suspended by the arrival of the hostess, a young mare dressed in a spiffing waistcoat and bow tie.
“Table ready for Canterlet’s party of eight?” the hostess asked. Jewel stepped forward, pulling Roam with her.
“The rest of my party will be along shortly,” she said to the young mare. The hostess inclined her head and gestured with a hoof.
“Right this way, please.”
The hostess led Jewel and Roam past several tables, all of which were inhabited by visiting members of high society from the other cities within Equestria. There were even several diners that hailed from beyond Equestria’s borders. Jewel could name nearly all of them by face alone. Her mother had drilled into her the names and faces of all the beings that she would have to interact with once she took on the headship of House Canterlet.
An unbidden tear rolled down her cheek as her thoughts turned to her late mother. She couldn’t conceive how she had fallen to her death fighting Lord Mountague. The pair of parents had decided fighting each other was more important than chasing after their offspring.
Her grieving was gently pushed away when Roam brushed his lips against her cheek, patting her back reassuringly. Jewel looked at her fiance and smiled wanly in gratitude.
“Here is your table,” the hostess said, gesturing to a long table on a balcony open to the bright midday sun. Jewel nodded to the mare in thanks as Roam pulled her chair out for her. The Head of House Canterlet sat in the proffered seat, adjusting her dress as the hostess placed menus on the table.
“Any beverages to start you off, sir, miss?” the mare asked.
“Cider for me please,” Jewel said.
“Spring water please,” Roam requested. The mare nodded.
“I’ll have those along shortly.” With that, she departed, leaving the couple on the balcony.
The pair of ponies sat in silence, enjoying the midday sun and the fresh air for a moment. They’d been cooped up inside their offices for the past week dealing with the fallout of their respective parents’ deaths and assuming control of their families’ spheres of influence. Getting out and about was a much needed and appreciated respite for the duo. The silence continued between the pair, both satisfied with simply sitting in each other’s company for the first time in days. Jewel sighed in contentment as the afternoon breeze brushed gently at her mane. Roam closed his eyes and inhaled, basking in the sun.
The soft clop of hooves followed by a heavier, uneven gait pulled the couple from their silence. Roam and Jewel turned to see a waiter carrying their drinks. Behind the waiter stomped a stout red pegasus with a closely cropped mane of black hair. The pegasus’ waistcoat was a royal blue with the left side covered in medals. A winged helm was stamped in black on his flank.
While the waiter shifted the beverages onto the table, the red pegasus stopped beside Roam and Jewel, inclining his head to the couple.
“Lady Canterlet,” he greeted in a gruff growl. “Lord Mountague.”
“General Casus Belli,” the duo responded. “Thank you for coming.”
Casus Belli grunted and walked around the table. “No reason not to,” he replied. “My offspring are training the next generation of guardponies and my offspring’s offspring are pursuing their own interests. I don’t have anything to do except enjoy my retirement.”
“And the free food?” Roam asked, one eyebrow raised.
“That too.” Casus Belli sat and tapped his hooves together, eyeing the waiting waiter. “I’ll have a Sweet Apple Acres Cider on the rocks.” The waiter nodded and trotted off. Belli turned his attention to Roam and Jewel. “So, who else have you invited to this little get-together of yours?”
“Madam Speaker Top Class, her sister Top Percent, and Mister Patron,” Jewel rattled off promptly. “Chef Cuterie will be with us with the appetizer course and I haven’t the slightest idea when Mister Patches will be here.” A scowl settled on the copper mare’s face. Belli frowned.
“Mister Patches?” he echoed. “I haven’t heard of him.”
“He’s a newcomer to the political landscape,” Roam explained. “We owe him a favor.”
Belli’s frown deepened further. “Favors are dangerous things,” the old pegasus warned. “You’re bringing an unknown to meet several high ranking members of Canterlot’s bureaucracy. This pony wants something.”
“Clearly.”
The three ponies turned around to see two female unicorns standing at the doorway to the balcony. Both were grey of coat and silver of mane; both wore smart black suits. One however had her mane bound in a tight bun and glass perched on the bridge of her nose while the other had her mane pinned into a tail. The mare with the bun stepped forward first to greet the three ponies.
“Lady Canterlet, Lord Mountague, Colonel Belli,” she said archly.
“Madam Speaker Top Class,” Jewel replied to the mare. She looked at the mare behind Top Class. “Professor Top Percent.”
“I see eight seats and only five ponies,” Top Percent sniffed. “When should we expect the other three to arrive?”
“Chef Cuterie will join us with the appetizers,” Roam replied. “We don’t know where Mister Patch and Mister Patron are as of yet.” The sisters huffed in annoyance and walked to their seats.
“Has anypony ordered anything yet?” Class asked.
“Only drinks,” Belli said. On cue, their waiter returned. She blinked once at the new ponies and shook her head, placing Belli’s drink before him. She then turned expectantly to Top Class and Percent.
“Water please,” the sisters said. “A slice of lemon in mine,” Percent continued. The waiter nodded and bustled away, muttering about multiplying royals under her breath.
“I don’t suppose you’re going to tell us what this lunch is all about?” Top Class asked Jewel skeptically. “I have to return to the Senate in an hour to mediate the new bill.”
“What new bill?” Roam prompted, ignoring Jewel’s eyeroll.
“The height of walls owned by private citizens,” Class recited.
Belli and Jewel sighed as Roam and Top Class’ conversation grew. The pair of military ponies shared an exasperated look and snorted lightly.
“Excuse me?” The seated ponies looked up to see a male earth pony with a blue coat and red mane adjusting his tweed jacket at the entrance to the balcony. “Am I late?”
“Fashionably, Minister Patron,” Top Percent said primly. “Much unlike our eighth participant.” The stallion trotted up to the table and inclined his head in gratitude.
“My secretary held me up with ramblings of a production being assembled somewhere in the Seabiscuit-Tacoltma area,” Artistic Patron explained as he sat. “Somepony contacted us with a request for Griffon garb. I only had a chance to give the request a cursory glance before I had to make my way here.”
“It seems that somepony wants to initiate a production of MacHawk,” Belli noted. The other ponies blinked at the old pegasus. Belli twitched under the sudden scrutiny. “What?”
“You know of MacHawk?” Top Percent asked.
Casus Belli huffed irritably. “Of course I do. It was required reading during the Griffon Segment at the Academy.” He shifted in his seat. “Besides, I enjoy Testament Shudderstick’s work.”
“Well then. That makes my opening salvo rather moot.” Once more, the ponies looked around to see yet another newcomer on the balcony. A purple and green male earth pony stood in the entrance. His purple mane was streaked with a virulent green the same color as his eyes.
“Mister Patches!” Roam and Jewel chorused in surprise. The colt walked over to the table, a wide grin on his face.
“My, my, Jewel,” he tutted cheerfully. “When I asked you to schedule a lunch with some of Canterlot’s bigwigs, I wasn’t expecting such a diverse selection.” The mare in question flushed lightly and gestured for Purple Patches to sit.
“Here with us today are Madam Speaker Top Class, Professor Top Percent, Colonel Casus Belli, Minister Artistic Patron, Lady Canterlet, and myself, Lord Mountague,” Roam introduced. “Ladies, gentlecolts, this is Mister Purple Patches. Chef Cuterie will be joining us with the main course. Now for the main discussion: Mister Patches requested a meeting with some of the members of Canterlot’s bureaucracy assembled by Lady Canterlet and myself.”
“What’s this discussion about exactly?” Casus Belli asked, eyeing Purple Patches critically.
“You actually mentioned it as I arrived,” Patches replied.
“MacHawk?” Patron said. “Are you the producer of this production?”
“Guilty as charged.”
Professor Percent cleared her throat. “And what exactly is it about this production that requires…” She gestured to the assembled ponies, “us?”
“Aye,” Casus said with a nod. “Not that I’ve got anything against a good high-class meal, but this is feeling a bit less like a friendly meeting and a bit more like the kind of conspiracy the rank-and-file always accuse Canterlot’s elite of.” He leaned in towards Purple Patches and raised an eyebrow. “What’s your angle, kid?”
Patches grinned and looked at each pony seated before him. “Honestly, I was just looking for some ponies to help me fund and advertise my play,” he said. “I wasn’t expecting this cast of characters when I sent Jewel my letter. But, after seeing who all is here, I think I can narrow my focus.” He looked at Top Percent. “You might be interested in the educational purposes of MacHawk. It can impress upon students the morals they need for life as well as portray a situation that has gone terribly wrong because of the greed and superstition of one Griffon.”
He shifted his gaze to Top Class. “As Madam Speaker, you might find the governmental connotations worth some scrutiny. The play could inform the populace of how different the Griffon and Equestrian governments are run and show just how much trust they can put in yours.”
Patches turned to Casus Belli. “MacHawk is a story of war. Sure, it has political intrigue scattered around as well as drama and murder, but at its core, MacHawk addresses the battle between entities. If up and coming guard recruits can learn even a little from how wars are fought, they’d be more prepared for when actual war occurs.”
Artistic Patron blinked under Patches’ scrutiny. “It's Testament Shudderstick,” the purple and green earth pony said. “What’s not to like?”
    “And that’s a wonderful sales pitch,” Top Class said tersely. “Excuse me if I’m cutting you off.”
    Patches had enough time to get ‘you’re not’ out of his mouth before the Madam Speaker continued.
    “But,” she said with a quick adjustment to her glasses, “you have to understand, this isn’t the first time anypony at this table has been approached by somepony who wants to do them a favor. It’s always in our best interest to do what they want, says the newcomer, and nevermind the consequences.”
    “What consequences would that be?” Purple Patches asked with a smirk.
    “What you get out of it.” Top Class peered over glasses. “No-pony comes to a single one of us unless they have something to gain, Mister Patches.”
    “That might sound a bit jaded,” Top Percent said quickly, “but it’s an unfortunate truth at this point. And,” she turned to Roam and Jewel, “no offence intended with this,” she turned back to the purple earth pony, “but mysterious influence with two young, naive heads of their respective houses is not necessarily impressive around here.”
    Roam winced. “Yeah, sure, no offence taken at all.”
    Purple Patches inclined his head acquiescence. “I’ll admit, using their assistance in such a fashion can be considered manipulative, especially for nobles of their age. But you have to admit it worked. I have all of you right here where I can talk to you.” The purple and green colt grinned widely. “I’d say they succeeded.”
    “Whether you succeeded in assembling us is neither here nor there. You aren’t convincing us of why we should help you with this endeavor,” Artistic Patron said stiffly, “theatrical that it is. Had you approached myself alone, I admit you’d have had more of a chance of acquiring my help. As it is now, I’m more likely to ignore the possibility of a scrumptious lunch in favor of getting some take out.”
    Purple Patches was silent for a moment, his wide grin still etched on his face. “You say that there will be consequences for rendering me assistance,” he said thoughtfully. “What do you believe these consequences to be?”
    “World domination.” Casus Belli sipped his drink loudly, looking at the various raised eyebrows from over his glass. “What? Some mysterious young colt shows up with ties to the heads of two noble houses who recently lost their previous leaders, and brings together a small group of Canterlot’s elite? I can’t be the only one who goes to world domination.”
    “As much as I love some good dramatic theorising,” Patron sighed, “I’m more concerned about having my good name tied to a very highly publicized flop, headed by a no-name nobody from nowhere.” He waved a hoof as he leaned back in his seat. “Besides, you are the host here, aren’t you? Shouldn’t you be the one answering questions, rather than asking them?”
    Patches continued to grin. The selection of bureaucratic ponies were starting to feel uncomfortable faced with that expression.
“On the subject of world domination,” he said, addressing Casus Belli, “I respond with this: why? World Domination is so last season. What would I get out of ruling the world? A headache. Once you get to the top, there’s nothing up there except looking down at all the things you have to micromanage. And let’s not forget the revolts!” Patches sighed. “Nah, ruling isn’t for me. Too much paperwork. As for flopping...” He shrugged. “That’s theater. You have to take risks to progress. Besides, what could go wrong with Discord directing?”
    Top Percent spat out her drink, which was deflected harmlessly by her sister’s raised spoon. “Discord? THE Discord? As in ‘the literal avatar of chaos and disorder himself’ Discord? I think the better question is ‘what could go RIGHT with Discord directing?’!”
    “That’s a bit of a strong reaction,” Artistic Patron said slowly. “He could bring some phrenetic energy to the production. Liven up some monologues and things like that.” He paused. “I’m not saying it’s a good idea, mind you. Just an interesting one.”
    “I’m more worried about how you got him on board.” Casus Belli narrowed his gaze at the purple earth pony. “Having his name on your posters doesn’t exactly give me confidence that this isn’t a world domination plot when Discord’s tried it at least three times that we know of. What kind of pull have you got on him to get him as director? Answer that straight, and maybe I’ll start thinking you’ve got something other than shiny teeth in that head of yours.”
    Patches shrugged. “I asked him.”
    The table was silent as the upper echelons of Canterlot society stared at the purple and green earth pony. Purple Patches sipped calmly at his drink, waiting for their brains to restart.
    “Surely you can’t be serious?!” Roam squawked. Purple Patches grinned, turning to look at the Head of Mountague.
    “I am serious,” he replied, “and don’t call me Shirley.”
    “You, a simple earth pony, asked a primordial being of chaos to direct a play,” Artistic Patron stated.
    A microexpression of irritation flashed across Purple Patches’ face for a split second. “Yes,” he agreed. “That is indeed what happened. Any more questions you want to ask?”
    “This might be a silly question,” Top Class said slowly, “but if you have Discord, the god of chaos, who is capable of creating anything so long as it amuses him… What do you need us for? If you need an audience, I’m sure he can just grab some random ponies from their homes across Equestria for you.”
    Purple Patches scowled. “You really don’t trust Discord to act with restraint, do you?” he snorted.
“You trust him to run a play,” Casus Belli pointed out from behind his drink.
Purple Patches tapped a hoof to his forehead in salute. “Fair point,” he admitted. The green earth pony sighed. “I trust Discord to exercise creative freedom to construct an engaging production. I also trust his ego to keep him in line. Think about it: all of his shenanigans have been foiled by the same six mares in Ponyville. After so many years of dealing with him, I’m sure anything Discord might have schemed up can be easily countered. I’m of the opinion that he’ll play nice over the duration of this venture.”
“That might be true,” Casus Belli said, setting his now empty glass on the table, “and if you can get him to keep things calm for the run of a play, I’ve got a nice selection of hats I’m willing to eat. But,” he leaned forward across the table, “you still ain’t told us what you get out of this deal. There’s a mighty big other shoe waiting to drop, and I can guarantee no-pony at this table is gonna want to sign off on anything until we have an idea of what that is.” He leaned back and shrugged. “Honestly, kid, if you just want this for the fame, you can say so. I certainly won’t think any worse of you if that’s all you want out of this.”
“It is basic give-and-take,” Top Percent agreed. “Any motivation we could latch onto would be better than none.”
Purple Patches nodded. “Recognition is pretty much it,” he said. “Having several members of Canterlot’s upper echelons backing a play I produce makes for a large, purposeful first step into the world of drama.” The colt looked aside at Artistic Patron. “You alone might give me a few open doors, but with all of you?” He grinned widely again. “‘Do it with a DON’ as my Uncle Tom said.”
Patron mouthed the word ‘don’ as he processed the purple earth pony’s words. “Well,” he said eventually, “I must admit, if you have half the talent at running a show as you do leading your potential investors around by the muzzle, then I’m certainly interested to see what you can put together.” He tapped the table with a forehoof. “I am, as they say, in.”
“Really?” Casus asked, one eyebrow raised.
“Of course!” Artistic Patron shook his head. “I must admit, it took some time to realize it, but this meeting has been a bit of the old sham, by my thinking. This is less of a sales pitch, and more of a live performance.” He gestured to Purple Patches. “He has, in a word, ‘played’ us, if I’m not mistaken.”
Casus Belli’s eyebrow raised to new heights. “So you’re saying he was just pretending to be a theater-themed supervillain?”
“Acting,” Patron corrected.
The colonel pondered his empty glass for a moment. “Well, buck it. I’m in.”
Top Class sighed. “You cannot be serious, Casus…”
“What?” Casus shrugged and leaned back. “I appreciate a good feint. Besides, it could be fun to watch the Elements take him on in iambic pentameter.”
A solitary chuckle escaped the Speaker of the House. “Be that as it may, I’ll want to see more specifics about this production before I put my name on it. Put me down as an interested ‘maybe’ for now, and I’ll expect details regarding your cast and crew as this moves forward.”
“I think I can help with that,” Top Percent added. “There’s always new grads and alumni looking for roles. I can always send some of them towards the play.”
“When did you become convinced?” Top Class asked.
Top Percent hesitated. “He’s got Discord on his side,” she said. “I don’t want to risk an angry director turning my staff into coat racks on his way to lodge a complaint.”
Purple Patches stood and bowed his head to the ponies before him. “My most heartfelt thanks to all of you,” he said. “I’ll send the details of the show to your offices before the week is out.” He plucked a drink from the returning waiter. “To Equestria and its ponies. Let us put on a show they’ll never forget! Salute!”
“Salute!” the table echoed. They all drank.
Another pony stepped onto the balcony with a gusty sigh of contentment, followed by several carts of small delicacies and hor d'oeuvres. The selection of Canterlot’s bureaucracy and Purple Patches turned to look at the newcomer.
“So,” Char Cuterie boomed, rubbing his face with a rag, “what’d I miss?”