"The Terrific and Très-Magnifique Trixie confirms her Assiduous and Arduous love for this Miraculous and Marvelous mirror with its silver crenelated-patterned border designs!" Trixie swished her mane and made a pout, which was reflected. "Stupendous and Shining silver is so much better than Gaudy and Glittering gold. It matches Trixie's mane much more appropriately," Trixie, the showmare whose performances had Stunned and Amazed thousands of ponies across Equestria, practiced effective elocution by chattering to her reflection in the full-body-length mirror. A showmare, even one who had forgone performance for several moons, needed to keep her vibrating vocal chords and alliterative abilities serratingly sharp.
Trixie had not performed for moons because she now had acquired what had eluded her for years--free sustenance and a home base of operations. This home base was located inside her Very Great friend's abode... an apartment unfortunately situated within a structure controlled by her nemesis the witch-Princess of "Friendship" Twilight Sparkle, who despite the inherent importance of forgiveness between friends, had never completely forgiven Trixie--the Greatest and Most Powerful friend anypony could imagine--for an utterly understandable mistake in judgment that had, many moons ago, led Trixie to adorn a cursed amulet around her neck which then, of course, possessed the Tragically Traumatized Trixie, forcing that Amazing and Awesome magician to (unwillingly, of course) commit actions that some ponies interpreted as menacing toward an ostensibly helpless hamlet.
Trixie exhaled a vast poof of air, releasing her run-on thought. Purged, she stomped one front hoof, then she stomped the other. "Trixie would never do something so foolish!" She declared. "Again," she amended as a little red embarrassment rose to her cheeks.
"ʇO ɘƨɿυoɔ ɘixiɿT bluow ton."(See "Mirror 1" in Author's Notes below) A voice echoed from the mirror, but it seemed a bit garbled, so, other than noting the room's odd acoustics, Trixie ignored the reverberation.
Trixie also endured the witch Sparkle's presence because Trixie knew Sparkle would soon depart for Canterlot where she would succeed Princess Celestia and Princess Luna in ruling over all Equestria rather than continuing to serve as a surplus suburban Princess meddling in this and that and everything else and who had banned Trixie from practicing her magical acts in Palace halls even though Trixie had paid her back (mostly) for the shattered vases.
Trixie pouted in the mirror. Sparkle's friends Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie on a careful day for them caused even more damage than Trixie had done. But Sparkle sought not recompense. That unfair witch just used money from the flaming sun of the State to pay for repairs.
And Sparkle's unfairness was even more targeted against Trixie. Instead of merely providing preferential treatment for her gang of groupies, Sparkle also placed above Trixie those who were not-quite-friends! Discord, the Lord of Chaos and thousands-of-years-old perpetual infantile tween-at-heart--during his weekly Odors(sic) & Oubliers (She means Oubliettes. Oublier is real-world French for "to forget", as Trixie has forgotten the proper word here) games damaged the structure and its inhabitants far, far worse than Trixie's exploits--yet he was tolerated!
Fallen stones struck awry from a misguided spell of Discord's had knocked Trixie's Best and Admirable friend unconscious in the middle of the night. Discord, already hollered at by Trixie, had been joined in scolding by Sparkle--a Surprising and Strange occurrence of Solidarity. But despite Sparkle's performative opprobrium, Discord had not been fined. Instead, that miscreant had taken umbrage for even the slight figurative slap on his flank and had sneered at Trixie for "overreacting"!
Trixie grimaced, then banished that look as it was rarely a good option for the stage and one did not wish one's features to grow comfortable to settling in distasteful positions.
When weighed against Discord's Distressing and Detailed depredations, Trixie's Vexatious Vanished vases were nothing. Sparkle, if she really sought to empony the spirit of a true "Princess of Friendship", should have waived payment as She had done for so many others. But no: she had not.
Now, Trixie needed to go on tour again to recoup the cost incurred by the vases. She had repaid Twilight some of the cost, but not all. Although her Superbly Impressive friend, Starlight Glimmer, had mentioned that Trixie might consider settling down and taking a nearby job so the two of them could continue to keep each other company, Trixie could not imagine there being a position suitably appropriate for a showmare of her caliber even in this growing capital-adjacent suburban village with its School of Friendship (an unaccredited school, Trixie noted, but an expensively-hoofed one that incidentally employed her friend). One could not repeat the same (or even similar!) tricks to the same audience within a short time. Even the largest metropolis' attention would eventually be exhausted and tricks: challenged. So Trixie was broke. Ponies clamored for her to perform: but she could not. Not so soon. She must return to the trail--leaving her Extraordinary and Knowledgeable friend all alone. Trixie had been sad.
But then a traveling pony had shown his shiny flanks in town (catching Trixie's eye by temporarily blinding her by reflecting same against the mirror). This flamboyant pony spun Tangled and Terrific tales of a mirror that could preserve the memory of an individual within it. Of course that same mirror was in stock! A beautiful mirror. Trixie had spent all her bits trying to replace those hated vases, but this mirror was cheap. It would only cost Trixie the bits in her room--an excellent deal since Trixie had no bits left!
"Trixie!" Her Amazing and Powerful friend, Starlight Glimmer, the one who had welcomed Trixie to bunk with her (even though such a generous gesture of friendship was highly gratuitous--given Trixie's livable-movable performative cart--but the great gratuitousness of the gesture had made Trixie want to take advantage of the offer all the more), entered the room. "Windigos weep--what is that enormous thing!" She gawked at the mirror.
Trixie puffed out her barrel and grinned. "Trixie has purchased a mirror."
Starlight's eyes turned toward her dresser and atop it, toppled to a side, a personal bank in the shape of a star that had held her savings. Beside it, a tight-cocked cork that had once snugly and stiffly held the star's sweet unpolluted innards inside, lay denuded from its lucre-hole. She went over to the bank and jiggled. No clatter. No ring. No bits.
"You love it, yes?" Trixie smiled at Starlight, who did not return same.
Trixie, in bargaining with the merchant, had not initially recalled Starlight's savings, but a deal was a deal and that easily-replaceable stash from which she had never seen Starlight take anything "from" and had only observed her contribute "to" had been in the room. Trixie was an honest pony. Now that stash was empty.
"I don't get paid until next month, Trixie."
"And?"
"That," Starlight shook the starbank again, still producing no sound, "was for emergencies. All my savings." She set it down.
"If bits are needed," Trixie rolled her eyes. "then why not borrow from your other so-called 'friend' who has a personal and deep connection to the coffers of our plutocratic kleptocratic state?"
Starlight grimaced, "I can't bother Twilight for that sort of thing."
Trixie raised a very inquisitive eyebrow. "She values you so little?" Then, hiding a smile of solidarity, she sighed, over-dramatically: "Trixie supposes that we can never count on generosity from greedy hooves of the First Estate of our Princess State, can we? But one Starlight can always borrow from a sororitas of the sans-culottes,(see Note 1 below) a True and Tested friend like me, Starlight!" Trixie asserted, rearing up and spreading her forelegs in offering.
Starlight held out a hoof, signalling Trixie to calm herself. "Have you been reading Marks?"(Note 2: See Below.)
"Angles actually, Left Angles." Trixie alighted back on four hooves.
Starlight nodded. "I'm impressed. Concerned, since their co-writings on Cutie Marks set me down a dark path with my cultish village and all...." Her voice trailed off and her eyes glazed over with worry, regret: even, horror.
Trixie paid not a whit of attention. "Trixie always reads the footnotes," she waved a hoof.
"What?" Starlight snapped back to attention.
"Footnotes in Left Angles' manual on legerdemain. Biographical material. Not helpful per se for the trick itself but only beginners merely focus on the mechanics. It's useful background. One must know the pony before one can truly understand the trick!" Then she whispered: "That's also Angles. Angles most profitably laboured as an equuspologist,(Ponified version of: "anthropologist") though Angles was always quick to retort that she was not an "apologist" for ponies' behavior--she just studied them!" Trixie cackled.
Starlight processed the information, vaguely recalling Left Angles' career before the mare's turn into revolutionary tract authorship. Meanwhile, Trixie walked over to a dresser drawer, threw it open, with her magic plucked out a piece of paper and sent it to the top of the dresser. Then, she levitated a quill and wrote. Once finished, she passed the paper over to Starlight Glimmer who read: "I.O.U. whatever contents that bank contained."
"You don't have any bits," Starlight stated.
"My word is good!" Trixie paused. "--Even better when written!"
Starlight grumbled some more, incoherent and increasingly enraged as Trixie turned her back.
"Don't you just love this mirror!" Trixie commented, then she faced Starlight again and winked. Too fast, she turned back to the tantalizing reflection-panel and touched its surface with the tip of a hoof. "It is very realistic."
"You spent all my bits on that--" Starlight stopped her statement and took a deep breath.
Trixie turned back. "Starlight, are you upset?"
Starlight took a few short breaths.
Trixie trotted over to Starlight and draped a foreleg over her shoulder. "My Perfect and Good friend, there is nothing to fear. This mirror is an excellent investment. Do not bottle your rage; as we have learned, bottling same can lead to Horrifying and Scary outbursts!"
Starlight shrugged Trixie off her shoulder. "You've done a lot of selfish things but this one really burns my hooves. That money's for--" she shook her head. "It doesn't matter. And, without asking me, you spent all of *my* bits on something enormously ugly that I would never want."
"How could my Supportive and Strong friend say such a mendacious thing!" Trixie exclaimed.
"Enough flattery, Trixie," Starlight shook her head. "I can't deal with it. Situations like this, which--" she stressed the next few words, pausing after each one. "keep-on-happening makes me wonder why I stay your friend."
"But Trixie cares about you! The rubble--Discord--" Trixie attempted to remind Starlight of how she had upbraided Discord for covering Starlight in rubble.
Starlight glanced over at her looted bank of bits. "Trixie cares about what makes Trixie happy. She doesn't care about Starlight as a pony." With tears flooding her eyes, Starlight turned and raced from the room, slamming its oaken door behind her.
Trixie stood. And she couldn't quite process what had happened.
Embodying a grinning cork on the dresser adjacent to Starlight's bank, Discord, Lord of Chaos and occasional purveyor of banned long-lost artifacts, chuckled.
"Childish and destructive are we?" Discord criticized, although Trixie could not hear his squeaky, wheezy words. "Tsk-Tsk-Trixie," he shook his head. "Shame! First scold little-old-me for 'callously' delivering a teensey-bitsy-tiny-mini head-bump to Starlight. Then, you *callously* spend all of her bits on a trinket you bought to calm your deep neuroses. For shame!"
Discord snapped two fingers and apparated far away, disinhabiting the cork, his purpose accomplished.
Tears swelled in Trixie's eyes. "T-trixie wanted to leave you with a memory of T-trixie... in this mirror... for when she has to go away." She sniffed. "Has Trixie made a Great and Powerful mistake?" She looked back at the mirror, then took a deep breath. "Trixie should find Starlight and explain..."
"oN." The mirror said.(Mirror 2)
"What?"
"oN."(Mirror 3)
"On what?"
".ɿɘvo ɘm nɿυt"(Mirror 4)
Trixie furrowed her brow and stared deeply at her reflection. It grimaced back at her. "That's not what I'm doing."
",ti tυodɒ γɿɿow t'nob[,]" the mirror insisted.(Mirror 5)
Trixie tossed her mane. "Trixie is not hallucinating. At least, not today. She could not afford liquor this morning!" She reached out to pet the mirror and took a deep breath. "Trixie will approach Starlight with a logical explanation, as is Starlight's preference. And our friendship problem will be resolved! Eeek!" She shrieked, jumping back from the mirror, which now showed an upside-down image of herself.
"!ɿɘvo ɘm nɿυt[,]" it insisted. (Mirror 6)
Trixie hesitated, then she pushed at the mirror and, after much exertion, turned it over.
".taerg[,]" it commented.
The Trixie in the mirror was now facing her, though (obviously) her reflection was still backward.
"Trixie still cannot quite make out what this... Trixie is saying," Trixie commented. And she furrowed her brow. "But Trixie knows a spell." She cast a reversal spell, key for illusionists to know.
"Great!" The Trixie in the mirror, the selfsame image of the Trixie outside the mirror, commented.
"You're saying more than a copy should say," the Trixie outside the mirror commented.
"I'm a memory; an essence."
"But you are not speaking in the third pony," Trixie said.
"It takes some calibration... it is necessary to get to know me," the mirror Trixie shrugged.
Trixie chewed over the assertion.
"It will be a Great and Powerful journey, but Trixie will succeed in the end."
"That sounds more like Trixie," Trixie outside-the-mirror nodded.
Mirror Trixie nodded back.
"Much better," Trixie asserted. "But can you win Starlight back while Trixie is gone?"
"How, and why?"
Trixie frowned. "Because Starlight is Trixie's--"
"Very Great friend, I know," mirror Trixie noted.
"Yes," Trixie nodded. "She has been so good to me."
Mirror Trixie waited, blinking.
Trixie sighed. "Trixie supposes you could start with explaining to Starlight the details of how Trixie purchased this mirror for Starlight alone! Although Starlight has everything she needs and she rarely uses gifts purchased by Trixie, Trixie discovered one need Starlight did lack! When Trixie is gone, Starlight will need her Great and Powerful friend! Trixie longs to always be by Starlight's side. But, a letter, a photograph cannot memorialize her properly. Besides, anypony can provide or receive those banal objects. Starlight requires something special." Trixie ran a hoof along the mirror's gilded frame.
"That tickles," mirror Trixie purred.
"That?" Outside Trixie rubbed the mirror's frame again.
"Yessssss. Good job!"
Trixie arched an eyebrow. "That good?"
"Quite."
"Is it like when I touch here?" Trixie placed a hoof on her flank and moved it back and forth. Mirror Trixie did the same.
"Mmmm..."
Trixie stopped rubbing. "Whew," her cheeks flushed. "Um," she looked around. "Nopony here... nocreature--not even Spike--saw that, right?"
"That was not lewd, was it?" Mirror Trixie asked with a head-tilt.
"No, no," Trixie shook her head. "There are lewder locations." She paused, then made a pouting face. "Ponies touch where Trixie did in public, even though it's not polite--"
"Like stroking one's frame?" Mirror Trixie's eyes sparkled.
"Trixie did not touch Trixie's--"
Mirror Trixie smirked.
Trixie swallowed and redness crept into her cheeks. "Merely," she squeaked, "it is... weird to do what Trixie did when somepony's watching."
"Only Trixie was watching," Mirror Trixie asserted. "Trust Trixie. Trixie can see behind Trixie's back."
Outside Trixie looked over her shoulder, then back at the mirror. "Yes, your corner-arrangement is most Appropriately and Awesomely auspicious."
"Touch me again." Mirror Trixie was direct.
Outside Trixie tentatively ran a hoof along the mirror's edge again, and Mirror Trixie resumed moaning.
"Starlight will like this," mirror Trixie asserted with a giggle.
"This could be... nice for Starlight, Trixie supposes." Outside Trixie panted, but she didn't stop moving her hoof along the mirror's silvery frame. "You think--"
"Trixie thinks," mirror Trixie corrected.
Trixie swallowed, "Trixie thinks that Starlight would want this?"
"Trixie wants this," the mirror said, locking eyes with outside Trixie.
"Oh," outside Trixie blinked.
Mirror Trixie batted her eyelashes.
"This may be too aggressive for Starlight." Trixie pushed herself close to the mirror, whose frame she was still rubbing. She stuck her snout against its glass to whisper. "Our friendship is cerebral, emotional... had not considered physicality. I do not--oh no." She swallowed. "Trixie does not know... Trixie means, we are friends. But, Starlight might find this strange."
"Don't worry, Trixie can make things work."
"Starlight might wonder... This is--close. Trixie is--hot," outside Trixie noted.
"Trixie can control her temperature, to a degree," mirror Trixie said.
Outside Trixie panted, "Trixie's never been this close to Starlight's muzzle."
"But Trixie can be this close to Trixie," mirror Trixie asserted, rubbing her muzzle against outside Trixie's.
"Trixie must leave on tour soon. Trixie needs Trixie to take care of Starlight."
"But she seems mean and judgmental," mirror Trixie commented.
"...sometimes," Trixie swallowed. "But Trixie can occasionally be a difficult pony to be around. Trixie does not always make the best decisions. Trixie's parents--Trixie did much to make herself, and Trixie didn't always know..." she trailed off.
"Trixie knows Trixie best. If Trixie has second-thoughts about her friend..." Mirror Trixie commented.
"No!" Outside Trixie recoiled.
"Come back... Trixie will take care of Trixie. Maybe a hug?"
Trixie looked back to the slammed-shut door, then at the mirror. "Trixie may not receive one from Starlight. Trixie must leave today or else Trixie will be unable to hitch Trixie's wagon to the train for the special super-discount-money-saver train fare. Trixie will shorten her tour length by traveling far by steam to new markets. Trixie's slower ponypower pull will only be required for economizing on the route home."
"How is Trixie to afford a steam-train?" Mirror Trixie asked.
"Credit," outside Trixie explained. "And on-board entertainment for the Occidental Express."
"Sounds classy," mirror Trixie said.
"Of course."
"The Cute and Classy Trixie," mirror Trixie complimented.
Outside Trixie giggled, "Oh, you," she bat a foreleg at the mirror, who hummed.
"Hug?" Mirror Trixie repeated her request.
Outside Trixie stumbled to the glass and embraced it: "So warm. Oooh." She pasted herself against the mirror.
"Trixie's kisses are warm too," mirror Trixie goaded.
"Trixie's never--"
Mirror Trixie, with a wink, puckered up.
Outside Trixie's heart beat faster and faster and she pressed her lips against the glass--
Starlight entered the room.
"I've had time to think and, Trixie, we need to talk. I didn't let you finish what you were saying. I didn't try to understand why you were purchasing this... mirror. Can you help me understand--" she froze, watching Trixie pressed up against the disfavored mirror rubbing her tongue along its glass and rocking the entire object violently.
"Fuc-" Starlight started to say an expletive.
"It's not what you think!" Trixie detached herself from the glass and faced her friend. "I-Trixie got a me-mirror to keep you company while I-Trixie traveled to earn bits to pay back Twilight for those vases that were smashed." Trixie's eyes traveled toward the mirror, and her mouth made little kissing motions toward it.
Starlight stood, straight and silent. A thought formed: "Trixie... the vases cost less than what was in my bank."
Trixie jerked her head back to Starlight. "Oh," her lower lip quivered.
"I'd have lent you bits."
"I... should have asked," Trixie admitted, hanging her head while neglecting to speak in third pony.
"Dare I ask what you were doing?" Starlight said.
"...Testing the mirror."
Starlight's eyes narrowed.
"This mirror is special, Starlight, this one that Trixie purchased only for you. It preserves an image of me, for your... personal... pleasure," Trixie shivered. "Trixie--the mirror is fully interactive. Um. Trixie says in all ways." She bit her lower lip and narrowed her eyes so that everything was a blur except Starlight's face. "Tri--It also talks."
"?tI s'taht lla I ?ma" a garbled breeze traveled to Starlight's ears.
"Shush!" Trixie blew air like a whistle through her hooves.
Starlight arched an eyebrow.
"Certainly, it is unbelievably Imposing and Impressive!" Trixie re-set and nodded. "Once can actually 'feel' T--its heat and warmth--see!" Trixie grabbed one of Starlight's forelegs and dragged her in front of the mirror, although Trixie herself tilted her head to not glance at its surface. "Trixie tested its multitudinous options. It can do many things!" Trixie whacked Starlight on her back, although she faced away from both. "Things Trixie never-before contemplated!" Starlight looked over at Trixie with a dazed expression.
"uoY wonk uoy tnaw em, !eixirT" Mirror Trixie insisted.
Trixie continued, louder: "Trixie knew Trixie was attractive." She adjusted her mane. "But with this mirror, that nascent feeling has become a most imperiously fearsome attraction," she coughed. "Trixie fears this mirror may have been too amorous an item and that she, possibly, may be falling in love."
"oooh," emanated from mirror Trixie.
"That's disgusting!" Starlight seethed. "Of all the--what?" She noticed the mirror's reflection only casting back the image of one pony. And the pony within the mirror was not mirrored. Starlight looked over at Trixie, then at the mirror Trixie, then back at the original one.
"Do not worry," Trixie continued, with her eyes clamped shut. Blindly facing Starlight, Trixie fumblingly rested her forelegs on either side of Starlight's head. "Even though she was tempted to test, like yourself, Trixie remains a virgin pure and true. Trixie intends to remain resolute and has taken extreme measures. Trixie will not look upon the tempting gaze of..." she trailed off, then swallowed and restarted: "Nor will Trixie consummate the fires within, for Trixie knows that despite any test, she must remain Dedicated and Loyal to her Best and Brightest friend Starlight!"
Starlight's jaw worked around a bit in reflection at many aspects of that comment and she opened her mouth to say something but it was disappointingly dry. Nothing came out.
Trixie continued: "The Thrilling and Tiring demands of travel have led Trixie never to explore the mystery of romance. Nor has Trixie wished to! As you recall, romance roughly ended her mother's career. Romance and all of its acts and permutations has disgusted Trixie for it results in Devious and Disgusting difficulties and Egregious and Envious endings, so, with the assistance of several Percipient and Panditious psychologists,("Pandit" as in 'learned', from Hindi which apparently has an equivalent in Equestria. Trixie is well-traveled.) she has built a wall of Powerful and Encompassing solipsistic emotions to keep out same. But! But this mirror truly excited passions deep within herself that Trixie did not know existed." Trixie's eyebrows raised and she cocked her head to consider Starlight. "Trixie must ponder on that."
Trixie looked back at the mirror, cracked her eyelids slightly, then shut them fast. She shivered. "Trixie does not wish to move too fast on these feelings... Trixie must put distance between Trixie and same."
"Don't go!" Mirror Trixie called to outside Trixie. Starlight heard a garbled "T'nod og!"
"I love you!" Mirror Trixie asserted. Starlight heard: "I evol !uoy".
"Treat Starlight as Trixie would treat Trixie!" Outside Trixie, eyes still shut, requested from the mirror.
Starlight considered saying something, but her mouth just gaped.
"Now," Trixie trotted away and tossed her mane, asserting her more confident stage persona while still assiduously not glancing towards the mirror. "Trixie must embark on her journey to earn more bits! Trixie will perform a Disaster Relief Tour to raise funds for full repayment of the vases and, concurrently, a rather longer Friend-Relief Tour to repay funds withdrawn for this mirror."
"You're leaving?" Starlight blinked.
"I must!" Trixie, neglecting again to speak in the third-pony, held her head high, a confident glow surrounding her. "A friend pays her debts! This mirror--" Trixie reached for a door handle.
"Don't worry about the mirror," Starlight gripped Trixie's shoulder.
"But Trixie must--"
"I... oh... I hate you but--"
Trixie hung her head. "Trixie will redeem herself."
Starlight blinked, fast, her heart beating fast. Thoughts inside her head spun around as it failed to fully comprehend the happenings. "No! I mean, I sometimes do, when you do something selfish, but I-I-"
"Yes?"
Starlight feared she was going to regret saying the words, but: "Love--"
Trixie nodded and placed a foreleg to cover Starlight's mouth. "Worry not! If you come to love the mirror-version of herself, Trixie understands. Trixie can not even control herself in the Charming and Charismatic presence of Trixie, and thus she must leave with no looks back at what she has gifted you. You alone! For your pleasure! Not for Trixie's." A tear formed in the corner of one of Trixie's eyes. She sniffled. "Trixie is Generous and Good. If you come to--love Trixie in the mirror, just please keep Trixie outside the mirror as your friend. But keep Trixie away from me. I must not gaze upon Trixie; it can never be, for that would be the ultimate betrayal for Trixie was to be a gift entirely for you, not for Trixie in any way. Starlight! Crossed... Love--err..." Trixie stammered, accidentally catching a glimpse of an alluringly posed Trixie in the mirror. She shut her eyes again. "Trixie is confused." Trixie hugged Starlight, tight and fast, then pushed her away, threw her go-to exit plan and galloped from the room into the mist of the tossed smoke bomb. The door slammed shut behind her.
Starlight took a step toward the door, but she halted when she heard a snort.
Starlight looked at the source of same, the mirror. Then she trotted over.
"What is going on with Trixie?" She asked, still not fully understanding Trixie's explanation and not really expecting a reply.
",em rof seye sah ylno ehS" the mirror said. Starlight's eyes narrowed.
"This talks?" She considered.
".huD"
Starlight stared at the mirror for a moment. Then she went to find Princess Twilight.
"Cursed, right?" Starlight asked.
Princess Twilight nodded, shaking her snug-fitting blinders hypnotically up and down. "In fact, this mirror was made by the same wizard who created the Alicorn Amulet that Trixie used to menace Ponyville."
"Accidentally used," Starlight corrected, tilting her blinder-bearing face to sideways meet Twilight's gaze.
"So she says," Twilight's voice was flat. "Anyway, these anti-basilisk blinders should keep us from falling under this evil mirror's spell."
"I suppose it being cursed makes sense given the somewhat... abnormal discussion we had," Starlight said.
"What I'm most surprised by is you were able to break free from its enchantment!"
"Really?" Starlight said. "It's supposed to be that strong?"
"The books say that 'whosoever looks upon the mirror will be forced to stare upon it until that pony wastes away. But since Trixie broke away from it, I suspect its power has weakened over the centuries. It is supposed to require enormous willpower to escape its gaze."
"You underestimate her," Starlight started. "Trixie did save Equestria from Chrysalis."
"Yes, yes," Twilight bobbed her head. "You're right. For science, I should test my hypothesis. I'm removing my blinders."
"Twilight--" But Starlight was too late.
Much later, after the mirror had been hooded and Twilight had been released from smooching the mirror Trixie and had washed her mouth out with copious well-buckets worth of water and vinegar, Starlight and she bundled up the mirror with smelly livestock blankets donated from their friend Applejack's farm and magicked it to deepest darkest prison Tartarus, where many of Equestria's villains had long been jailed.
"So," Starlight started, sitting on her haunches. "Our working hypothesis is I wasn't ensorceled because I wasn't concentrating on the mirror--my mind was too full of Trixie? The real Trixie, that is."
Twilight nodded.
"But you were ensorceled because you were focusing on the mirror."
Twilight nodded, slower this time.
"But what about Trixie?"
Twilight chewed over the thought. "Well, about that mare--"
"Trixie," Starlight corrected.
"I've, um, had a bit too much of... that mare," Twilight wiped her mouth.
"Do you think she had the willpower to break free?" Starlight asked. "She must have." Starlight wrote a note.
"Or some accident happened. Perhaps she was startled. Scientific method, Starlight. Propose before concluding!"
"It was a starting hypothesis..." Starlight grumbled. "Anyhoof, I came into the room. She didn't expect me to return. We'd quarreled. My return might have been a shock." Starlight omitted the part about catching Trixie vigorously pressing herself against the mirror.
"That could account for the outcome," Twilight nodded. "It makes more sense than Trixie having superpony willpower."
"But I shook and pulled you and nothing happened," Starlight frowned.
Twilight shrugged. "I must not have found it surprising that you would do that. I'm used to ignoring distractions."
"Whatever you say, Twilight," Starlight sighed.
A nearby cork laughed a squeaky titter. But they didn't notice.
"The thing bothering me the most," Starlight commented. "Is why Trixie happened to purchase such an evil mirror? Was an enemy targeting her?"
Before Twilight could retort with an hypothesis, Discord the draconequus manifested himself in front of the two, drawing himself up to his full towering height. "Come on," he sneered.
"Discord!" Princess Twilight exclaimed, adding a touch of disgust to the second syllable of her frenemy's name.
"You're a *scientist* Twilight. I hope you'll understand," Discord smiled. "I thought selling that mirror to Trixie would be an amusing experiment! It isn't even that evil. It's not even in the same league as, for example..." Discord turned himself into a billfold of thin bread surrounding sloppy cheese. Grinning, he finished his sentence: "quesadillas."
"Aaah!" Twilight shrieked. Shaking, she filled her horn with magic power, charging it with a vibrant rainbow of colors.
Discord turned back into a draconequus, although a little cheese pooled just in front of his hooves. "Really Twilight, it's so easy to set you wronghoof. You should strongly consider therapy. I know a guy," he hoofed over to Twilight a business card sloppy with green slime. "He's a good listener."
"The Smooze..." Starlight read from a possibly splatter-free distance.
Twilight snorted, disabled her rainbow-charged destruction-horn--poofing out its colors into nothing. And, after wiping it off, she magicked the sloppy business card of the Smooze ooze into her saddlebags.
"That mirror has a love spell on it," Twilight replied with a deadpan tone. "If Starlight had interacted with it for any length of time, she would have become enamored with the mirror's image. If you think that isn't evil, then I should provide you some up-to-date literature and legislation on consent--"
Discord shrugged: "Did anypony consent to make Celestia our Princess?"
"Every day!"
"Ponies ratify her rule by not overthrowing her?" Discord chuckled. "Perhaps it's time I sent a survey around about revolution... although, maybe it is too late. You are going to succeed her, are you not?" He pulled out a pencil and tapped it against a notepad that had also appeared out of nowhere, such was the strength of his magic. "But no, you weren't elected either. You're more of a de facto ruler since you're the only free alicorn above the age of 'too young to rule by logic.' You're a necessary Tyrant of the Republic in our times of crisis. And Equestria is always in crisis. Although it's not a Republic. I like republics. So unpredictable with everycreature having a vote! Tyrant. Tyrant. Sounds so cruel. Perhaps the better term is "dictator"? You ponies have so many synonyms. I hope you're confident enough to keep the throne. Hmm..." Discord pondered.
"Uggg!" Twilight raised her voice. "Don't distract me! You know that Starlight KNOWS spells she can use to jump into a mirror, but because of the ensorcelment's allure she wouldn't have wanted to get back out! She might have died inside that mirror of dehydration!" Twilight insisted.
Discord rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes, lots of fluid loss within the loving embrace of that same mirror, I'm sure. But I'm also sure you're not the only witchard(witch/wizard) who could get her out. And I am shocked, my dear Twilight, that you would think me so callous as to forget if Starlight became trapped within a mirror."
"You forgot the rules prohibiting blasting spells when you were playing Ogres & Oubliettes," Twilight looked meaningfully over at Starlight, who had recently been struck by stones.
Discord rolled his eyes again--this time they rolled all around his face until settling back where they (probably) belonged. "Fine, fine. I am sorry. It was just a prank. A little nothing."
"Just a prank!" Twilight chided.
"Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie pull them all the time, yet you always forgive them ."
"What are you talking about?"
Discord summoned a floor-length scroll and rapid-fire cited from it occasions when those two had damaged Twilight's palace and/or its occupants. "And you, our benevolent, beloved Princess, have not forced those hooligans to reimburse any damages!" Discord's voice rose to a crescendo.
"What does that have to do with anything!" Twilight said. "We didn't charge you."
"But you charged Trixie."
"For what?"
"The vases," Starlight started.
"Vases, what vase--"
"Trixie left on a magic tour to raise bits to pay you back."
"Oh."
"Isn't that a 'bit' of a double-standard?" Discord smiled, turning into the measure of currency.
Twilight started: "But Rainbow and Pinkie didn't mean to--"
"Neither did Trixie," Starlight furrowed her brows.
Twilight frowned, bit her lip, and opened her mouth to speak. Then she shut it and furrowed her brow.
Discord turned back into a smiling draconequus. "I think we've all learned valuable lessons about friendship here." Discord approached the two, offering a hug from his wings.
Starlight shifted uncomfortably. "We should get Trixie," she said.
"But she didn't learn anything," Discord commented.
~fin.