Entry Twelve:
Two days ago, before I went to bed, I cancelled everything today. All my meetings, Solar Court, those idiotic flower contests I have to judge every week of Spring and Summer, and other duties.
I woke up that morning determined to actually test my current theories. Luna and I raised the sun and lowered the moon, I informed her I was going to do some research in the Catacombs about magic. She nodded without question, probably already having a good idea as to why I was researching such a topic and trotted off after saying she would take some of my duties over today to be seen more as an official equal to mine.
I hurried into the catacombs, carrying my bags full of my notes. I read some more dark magic books, books studying the magic of the elements and the natural magic of powerful unicorns.
My experiments involved interacting with another realm. I can interact with the Star Realm, the realm that gives me the ability to watch ponies' lives to better judge how to help them, to watch their progress in life. I first attempted to enter the Death Realm in reality. The event shook the room I was in. Throwing me out of the Star Reality as I tried to control the magic, the surge of magic caused one hallway to collapse from the weakened beams unable to withstand the vibrations and the force of the mountains in which the Catacombs have been made inside.
My magic, with the combination of dark magic, became too much. It left my horn blackened, my mane burned in places when I used too much power, turning part of my mane into a fire for a few seconds. My mane has been shortened by a few inches. To my chest. It will be noticeable to the public and Luna.
I wasn't able to open any realm. All I did was damage myself. I went back to my notes, after what must have been hours, after many recalculations and frantic scribbling of nonsense, I was left with nothing.
Maybe part of me is unable to do...what I need to do because I am afraid of her. I am afraid of what she will do to me if I managed to see her. To meet with her again. Will she kill me? Will I be unable to stop her even if we do meet?
I was tired, I am still tired. But by the moment I stopped for the day, I almost got lost on the way back into Canterlot because I could barely see straight from exhaustion. I slowly lowered the sun as I walked across Canterlot Castle towards my room. I hadn't eaten all day, not that I was very hungry in the first place but lack of food hadn't helped my energy. The guards had noticed my mane and blackened horn but gave no comment. Which I am thankful for. I did not see Luna on my way back, which I am thankful for. Another small miracle. I collapsed into my bed the moment I entered my room. I was about to fall asleep when I heard a soft knocking at my door.
Raven.
It was Raven, my assistant's distinct knocking echoed in my ears.
I thought, for a moment, of just ignoring her. To just sleep. Blissful sleep was all I wanted. But I had a growing feeling of dread as her knocking became more persistent. More urgent. My growing sense of alarm would not let me relax and fall asleep. So, eventually, I moved slowly to the door and opened it.
Raven galloped in. Her usual proper mane style was dishevelled, her glasses were crooked and she held up a letter in her hooves without a word. I grabbed onto it with my magic and brought it closer. News from Ponyville.
Rarity hanged herself in her shop at noon. She left a note saying "I am happy now."
I didn't say anything. Looking back, even if I could have enough energy to speak, there is still nothing I could have said. There was nothing to be said. I couldn't teleport to Ponyville at that time of night and I didn't want to see another body. I didn't have the patience to comfort another family at their loss. I nodded to Raven and she found herself out of my room.
Philomena, my wonderful pet, flew from her perch and cuddled herself against my body as I lay in bed as a way to comfort me. In her usual manner. I cried, I used up the rest of my energy to just cry my sorrows of everything. Crying.
I didn't care if anypony saw at that moment.
I fell asleep crying last night. I woke up today to raise the sun, gathered enough energy to write this entry.
Twilight sent me a letter sometime in the night. It didn't say much. Nothing that would help me defeat her, per usual. I do not like waking up, having to read a letter about how she killed another one of her friends and doesn't seem to care she is destroying families in reality.
"Dear Princess Celestia,
Rarity is a wonderful audition! She was difficult to convince, I practically had to tear into her about all her flaws and accused her of abandoning Sweetie Belle, which is not entirely incorrect, yell at her about her failing business, before giving her the crushing blow that her sister would be better off without her and she should join her friends. Her friends would forgive her sins.
I told her she had nothing left to live for.
Again, not entirely incorrect. She practically self-destructed her own life after my death. It was silly how she handled the whole matter. So, she nodded, she agreed after an hour and a half of me yelling and yelling at her.
Of course, my throat doesn't hurt because I am dead. Rarity hanged herself and the Ponyville residences found her near noon. I watched them from my new home. I watched them as they scrambled towards Applejack and Fluttershy for an answer.
Fluttershy hid in her cottage per usual from everypony.
Applejack used foal language to anypony who dared question her friend's death, who dared even say their names. She shut herself inside her farmhouse or travelled deep within the Apple family farm to avoid them for her work.
I wonder who is next.
Your Faithful Student,
-Twilight Sparkle"
Applejack and Fluttershy are the only ones left. Somepony has died since Twilight started this. It is a new day, a new tragedy will happen sometime today. Who will be next?
I don't want to know.
I have to go do Solar Court.
-Princess Celestia