Pinkie Pie awoke, not having intended to fall asleep on the crab sofa. She had been so cozy all snuggled up to Cheese Sandwich that it had sort of just happened. His absence was immediately noticed, as was the early hour of the morning. The mare stood and stretched, realizing that she was still wearing the silly nurse outfit she had dressed up in the previous night. She doffed it and went in search of her mate.
As she climbed the stairs, she could hear an intermittent tapping that grew louder as she made her way to the bedroom. That is where she discovered Cheese Sandwich with a small pile of tools.
“Good morning!” he greeted her cheerfully.
“Hi there! Are you fixing the door?”
“I sure am! I know it’s been this way for months, and I decided that it’s time to get this done. We’ve got a few of these projects that have been piling up. No more putting them off. Today is the day!”
Pinkie Pie couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm.
“Are you ready for a break?” she embraced him from behind.
“Not yet.”
Perhaps she had been too subtle. She repositioned the way she embraced him until she was certain that he took her meaning.
“Not even a short break?”
He reattached the hinges to the wall, “Nope, I am... er... in the zone? As it is... building mode.”
She made a final, most gentle, touch to get his attention before playfully adding, “This is building.”
Cheese Sandwich let out a nervous laugh, “In a bit... I really want to finish this door, and then I’ve got to get to that dripping faucet in the kitchen.”
Pinkie Pie released her mate from the embrace and took a step backward, perplexed, “Would you like some breakfast?”
“Oh, I fed myself early so I could get started. Why don’t you go see if your friends are doing anything? You know you don’t get to see them as often as you’d like.”
“Okie... dokie... lokie...” she said uncertainly.
She plodded away, a bit confused about what all of this meant. Her mind began churning as it turned things over. Cheese Sandwich had agreed that it was time to grow their family, and he had been quite consistently willing to work on that for several days. Did something change? Had she just been brushed off so he could do chores?
When she came to herself again, Pinkie discovered that she was galloping across town. Coming up fast on The Castle of Friendship, Pinkie Pie redoubled her purpose to find Twilight Sparkle. She burst through the door with that singular intention.
“Twilight!” her voice echoed down the halls.
Pinkie Pie didn’t wait for an answer, but charged down the corridors, winding her way through while crying out for her friend until she came to the kitchen. The space was quiet and clean, without any sight or scent of anything having recently been prepared. She continued on through the library, bedroom, and a half-dozen other rooms before ending up in the empty map room.
“Aww!” Pinkie groaned as she sank to the floor.
A soft shimmering and nearly inaudible magical tinkling caught her attention, and the mare directed her focus to the map. Sitting atop a great round table with six thrones about, and a seventh smaller seat for Spike, the magical map had sent Pinkie Pie and her friends on numerous adventures to spread friendship across Equestria.
Faintly glowing above Filly Delphia circled the images of both Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer’s cutie marks. That could only mean that the two had left the previous day. She decided that she would have to find somepony else to talk to. So quickly did Pinkie Pie spin about and make for the exit that she had gained too much momentum when she saw a bleary-eyed young dragon standing in the doorway.
With a slight yelp, Pinkie Pie went left, just as a surprised Spike sluggishly tried to dive the opposite way. He ended up on the floor, but she crashed into the door jam, spinning in circles until she came to rest on the plush carpet of the corridor.
“Are you okay?” Spike managed as he picked himself up.
Pinkie Pie shook her head and stood, her shoulder pounding where she had collided with the unyielding crystal door frame, “I’m fine. Just a little... ow!”
She rubbed at her shoulder.
“Come on,” Spike started down the hallway with the mare in tow. “So what’s all the yelling about? Some of us are trying to get a little sleep while Twilight is away.”
“Oh it’s just... adult problems.”
Spike stiffened up at that, “You mean you and Cheese?”
“Yeah...”
“Well leave me out of it! I’m not ready for my young mind to be worried about all of that stuff,” he revealed teeth and fangs with his playful grin.
“Oh, Spike!” Pinkie Pie chortled, “Enough said. I won’t drag you into it.”
The pink mare limped along after the young dragon until they came to a bathroom. Spike opened up a cabinet and rummaged for a moment before coming out with a small red tin can. White lettering on the top read, ‘Ouchbegone’.
Using a small flat wooden spoon, Spike scooped a generous portion of the highly viscous salve and applied it to Pinkie Pie’s shoulder. It had a pasty consistency not unlike jam. Within seconds, the throbbing in her shoulder subsided.
“Wow! That’s some great stuff!”
“Yeah,” Spike agreed, “Twilight always keeps some around since it works so well. But you should still take it easy. It hasn’t actually fixed your shoulder, it just covered up the problem for a bit. So you can make it worse if you keep running into stuff.”
“Aye, aye, Doctor Spike!”
Suddenly struck with a moment of clairvoyance, Pinkie Pie looks directly at you. Yes, she is looking at you at you, the person who is reading this.
“You know, if you stop to think about it, this little situation would make a pretty good metaphor for lots of problems we deal with in everyday life.”
“Umm, Pinkie,” Spike’s brow furrowed in confusion, “who are you talking to?”
“You’re right, Spike. Back to the story!”
“Huh?”
“Thanks again, and I’ll see you later! La, la, la...”
“Bye... Pinkie...” Spike scratched his head, still pondering the bizarre behavior.
He eventually shrugged it off and went back about his business, as those sort of queer antics were not at all out of the ordinary for Pinkie Pie.
As for the pony, she did her best to walk to her next destination. Carousel Boutique came into view, and no doubt Rarity would have some good advice on relationships, especially where allure, or possibly a diminishing thereof was concerned. By the time she arrived at the door, she had come to the realization that she couldn’t really feel anything in her left shoulder. The salve Spike had used had left it working but totally without the sense of touch.
Pinkie Pie knocked on the door. It was just a moment before it smoothly turned on its hinges, and a well presented fashionista stood before her.
“Why, good morning, Pinkie Pie,” Rarity greeted. “How are you today?”
“Hi, Rarity. I’m okay, just looking for a little advice.”
Rarity’s keen sense for impending gossip was triggered. The most subtle twitch of her ears followed by a rapid blinking of her eyes gave away her sudden curiosity.
“Won’t you come in? We are just sitting down to breakfast, and there is plenty.”
“You have guests? I don’t want to crash your party...”
“Nonsense! You are coming inside on my invitation, and I won’t hear another word about it!”
Rarity led the way, and Pinkie Pie followed after her. They settled in an eastern facing room with open windows. White silk curtains diffused the light, making a soft golden glow fill the room. The two older ponies joined Sweetie Belle at a small table that was expertly decorated with breakfast. There were spinach and feta scones, blueberry bran muffins, some bite sized lemon cakes, a large ceramic water pot with steam wafting from the spout, and a selection of eight types of tea, along with the customary accoutrements.
“Hi, Sweetie Belle!”
“Good morning.”
“Do help yourself to anything you’d like,” Rarity gestured for Pinkie Pie to sit. “Tea?”
“Thanks! I’d like Silver Needle.”
Rarity scooped the tea leaves into the infuser, poured steaming hot water into a fresh cup, and gently submerged the filled infuser to begin the brewing. Though she was ready to speak, practically about to burst, Pinkie Pie knew how Rarity relished her dainty tea times and how infrequently she was able to have them with her sister.
“Now,” Rarity seated herself and took a sip from her tea, “what sort of advice would you be looking for, pray tell?”
“Well, you know how Cheese Sandwich and I are trying for foals and we’ve been working really hard to make sure everything is just perfect to bring those lovely snuggly little ones as soon as possible, but this morning Cheese Sandwich was fixing a door and doing house chores and he didn’t want to stop for anything.”
“I see.”
Sweetie Belle’s eyes widened, but rather than speaking, she sipped her tea.
“And when I say anything, I mean anything! Even fiddling with his phallus didn’t get his attention.”
A gasp combined with a giggle caused Sweetie Belle to choke on her tea. She sputtered into a napkin before recovering.
“So, you felt ignored?” Rarity asked, paying no attention to her sister’s plight.
“Kind of? I mean, he’s been so totally and completely supportive that I’m probably just reading too much into it, but it was almost like I wasn’t... attractive?” Pinkie Pie felt uncertain. “I mean... Cheese has never really... brushed me off before.”
“Darling, you’ve come to the right place,” Rarity set down her teacup and saucer. “You and Cheese Sandwich have already been married for a few years, and as much as you still love each other, some of your respective charms can become a bit passé.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve got this,” Sweetie Belle piped up, having completely recovered. “Take this breakfast for example. It has a lovely variety, but if you had this same food every day, you’d want to change it up. Maybe you’d add some new spices to the scones or get a different selection of tea.”
Rarity smiled at her younger sister and added, “Well said. Pinkie pie, you just need to spice things up a bit. Try a different approach to keep things interesting.”
Pinkie Pie nodded slowly, considering her response, “So, if I had a piñata party every day, I would lose interest in piñatas.”
“A bit more crude than the breakfast analogy, but yes. You understand the problem perfectly!”
“Okay, but how do I do that? Spice things up, I mean.”
“I may have an idea or two,” a smile curved across the adult unicorn’s face.
Sweetie Belle nearly choked on her tea a second time, “I think I hear… mom calling me.”
The young mare made a hasty departure.
...
Cheese Sandwich felt a trickle of sweat run down his neck as he pushed the lawn mower forward. Having no engine, magical or otherwise, the wheels had gears and pinions that turned a blade reel to bring grass against the cutter blade. His own efforts provided the power for the machine.
Coming to a halt at the end of the final row he was walking, Cheese Sandwich turned and surveyed the yard. He felt himself smile with a small swell of pride in a job well done. He cleaned and oiled the lawn mower before returning it to the utility shed at the back of the house. Bright cheerful colors notwithstanding, it was fairly plain, lacking the whimsy that was more typical of their decorum.
The stallion ventured inside for a glass of water as he considered which project would occupy him next. All of his thoughts collapsed as his eyes processed what he saw when he made it inside. Pinkie Pie stood in his path as if she had been expecting him. She wore a rather seductive maid outfit and had posed in a provocative manner.
“Hey there, stud,” she said salaciously.
Cheese Sandwich forced himself to swallow, despite being parched. Enticing as all of this was, he knew his own body and his limits. It was not responding as it should have been for such a display. He still needed rest. There was only one thing to do.
“Oh hi, Pinkie!” Cheese Sandwich cheerfully greeted her as he walked by. “Yard work sure dehydrates a stallion. Next up I’ll be getting that insulation into the attic. I am on a roll!”
He didn’t miss her jaw dropping in total shock at his response. He felt a little bad about it, but having himself seem incredibly dense was far preferable to upsetting her further. Though he expected a little more push from her, she said nothing, simply watching in stunned silence as he drank some water and headed off to his next task.