Coming Out Of My Cage

by Boopy Doopy


(24) Chasing Cars

“It was just a big mistake,” Katrina said sadly as she laid her head on the table the next day, talking to Twilight in her library. “Dad was angry with me, Trent was apathetic, and Sam told me not to text her anymore. It hurts the most coming from her because she’s the last person I would expect to say that.”
“I’m sorry. That sounds terrible. I can’t believe your family would tell you those things.”
“I was prepared for it though, so it’s not… as bad as it could be. Now they know who I am, which I guess is something. It’s just painful to hear from them that they basically hate me...”
“You said your mother was kind to you, right?” the mare asked. “That’s something good.”
“Yeah. She said she knew I was trans since I was seven, but didn’t say how. It was very weird, especially since I didn’t know until I was, like, nineteen or twenty. All she said when I asked how was that ‘a mother knows her child’. I don’t understand it at all.”
“I can’t say I understand it either. Who knows though? Maybe one day you’ll be a mother, too, and get what she’s saying.”
She blushed at that idea but smiled shyly. “Maybe,” she replied, slightly embarrassed. “Anyway, I don’t mean to drag our time down today with all of my problems. What do you have planned for us?”
“Before that, I want to touch on something,” Twilight said. “You told me that your family came through to this side? What was that experience like for them? How did they react?” She readied a paper and quill, waiting for her response.
“They were only here for about a minute,” Katrina explained. “They kind of freaked out, my dad especially, and he got angry and demanded that I change him back into a human immediately.”
“That was it?” she asked. “They didn’t stay or do anything or interact with anypony?”
“No, they both left as soon as they could. Trent said he had to go process what happened and Dad told me to never do that to him again. I mean, he did text me an hour ago saying that he and I were going to have a chat later, but I think we can both assume that won’t go very well. But yeah, that was it.”
“Huh. That’s certainly interesting. From what I read, humans are much less prone to be stopped by fear than ponies are. I would’ve thought they would just head right on through when seeing something unknown, like you and your brother did.”
“If it had turned me into a stallion, with as clumsy as I am on this side, I might not have kept going, honestly. At the very least, I wouldn’t have kept coming back. But all of that dysphoria left all at once, and it might have impaired my judgment a little bit. Not that this was a bad decision. Right now, I’d say it was the best decision of my whole life, despite yesterday.”
“I’m glad you think so,” Twilight smiled. “Let me write that down in my notes for Princess Celestia. It’d be very interesting to see if a pony on this side walking through to Earth would change to how they saw themselves if they had dysphoria, too. I can imagine a mass migration if that were the case if a public worldgate existed, one that affected both sides. I’m sure no more months of therapy would be a great relief to more than a few.”
“Yeah, I can see that, but not me. I like being here, but what I want to be is on Earth. I…” Katrina trailed off, somehow terrified of what she was going to say next. She didn’t know why though. It was obvious to Twilight what she was planning despite having never said. Still, she practically shook in place as she started to speak again.
“I think I’m gonna… try to start transitioning on Earth,” she said firmly, looking away. “I mean, everyone who matters already knows, so it’s not like I have anything to hide anymore, even if I know most of them don’t like it.” She felt the need to explain herself, feeling slightly ashamed, as though she was doing something wrong. Twilight, however, smiled at her happily and sent kind words her way.
“That’s great,” she told her. “I’m sure it’s not going to be easy, but I’m glad you’re doing what you think is best for you.”
“Well, a lot of it was you,” Katrina blushed. “Coming here every day and you talking to me and spending time with me, it really helped build up my confidence. You didn’t have to help me out, but you did, and I really appreciate it.”
“That’s what friends are for,” Twilight replied simply, giving her another smile. “Anyway, you said you wanted something to do? I heard about a new restaurant that opened up in Ponyville, and I was going to meet Rarity there. You could come along! Let me just send these notes off to Princess Celestia.”
“That sounds very nice,” Katrina smiled.
It was a very nice time she spent with Twilight and her friend, even if she didn’t think the food was that great and was forced to eat with her mouth. As she ate, she thought about how far she had come since first walking through her closet door and coming out the other side, both metaphorically and physically. She wasn’t anywhere at all, and yet this still was so much farther than where she was before. It was almost like she was dreaming, she couldn’t even imagine being here right now. It was a wonderful feeling, knowing that there was hardly anything left to do except for everything she wanted.
“What are you thinking about, darling?” Rarity asked. “You’ve been staring at your sandwich for the last few minutes. Is something wrong with it?”
“Huh? Oh, no,” she responded, shaking her head clear. “I was just thinking about how nice it is to be myself.”
“I’m not sure what in particular you’re referring to,” the unicorn responded as she took a sip of tea, “but it is nice to be able to be yourself, I can agree with that. I know from personal experience that being one’s self can be quite relieving.”
“Hey, I have a question for you, Rarity,” she asked. “Are you trans?” She got a raised eyebrow from the mare in response, and clarified, “I mean, are you transgender?”
“Oh, heaven’s no, darling,” she said. “I’m not sure I would be able to take being a stallion. No offense to any stallions, but it sounds quite dreadful, to say the least… oh! You meant changing from stallion to mare! No, I am not.”
“Oh, I thought you were because of a couple of comments you made before…”
“I cannot claim to be, thank Celestia, but I can say that more than one mare in my circles is, as well as a couple of stallions. Are you, if I can ask?”
“I thought you already knew,” Katrina answered. “You made it seem like you knew when you caught me in the bathroom at that school, and Twilight said you’d probably know what my cutie mark means.”
“Well, I certainly do know what it means, but it’s quite impolite of me to be drawing conclusions based on one’s cutie mark. For that, I can only apologize. But yes, that and how nervous you were acting made me believe so.”
“Ah. Well, now you know for certain. That was why I said it’s nice to be myself.”
“I see. That’s certainly interesting to hear. I’m quite happy to hear that you can be who you are. Oh! About that spa day I told you about before, I was thinking you could come along with me next weekend, my treat. Applejack and Fluttershy will be there as well, but I’m sure they won’t mind you tagging along with us. What do you say?”
“Uh, sure, I can make time for that. I’ve never been to a spa.”
“Oh, trust me, once you go, you won’t be able to leave. Even Rainbow Dash loves it, as much as she hates to admit it. I’ll meet you at Twilight’s castle that day, alright dear?”
“Okay,” Katrina smiled. “It sounds like a nice time. Thank you for inviting me.”
“Oh, you don’t have to thank me. Any friend of Twilight’s is a friend of mine. Oh, as well, whenever you want to stop by my boutique, I can get that makeup supplies into your hooves.”
“I will, thank you.”
With that thought in mind, she finished her meal with Twilight before walking back to the castle, thanking her for humoring her with an outing.
“I really appreciate it,” she told her, “and I’m glad you built this worldgate here. Having this in my life- I’m happier than I’ve ever been coming here. You have no idea how much this has helped me so far.”
“Well, I think I have some idea,” the mare smirked, earning one back from Katrina before she wrapped her in a hug. “You’ve given me lots of useful data for another worldgate should one happen to be built. Speaking of which, I do need to meet with Princess Celestia in a little while and discuss my findings with her. She received my notes, but she always prefers meeting face to face. I’ll see you later?”
“Yes, I’ll be here tomorrow. Thanks again.”
She waved a hoof to leave and stepped back to Earth, quickly making her way back to her room and to her laptop to tell Sylvia about what happened yesterday. Before that though, there was something she had to do, something that once again made her want to pass out from nervousness.
She opened up her web browser and navigated to her primary doctor’s website, getting to the section where it asked her to schedule an appointment. There was nothing in the planner, every day and time available to her. She clicked on one of them to schedule her appointment… and closed it out.
She couldn’t do this. Sure, her family already knew, but she knew they would hate her even more based on their reactions. Not to mention everything else that had to happen once she started down this road. Even as much as she wanted to be herself, was this really worth it?
“You know it is,” she told herself firmly. “You know how bad it is, and you know how good it can be. Now quit wasting time and schedule the appointment.”
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, preparing to open up the website again… and her phone buzzed, distracting her. She looked to see who it was and flinched when she read the name.
“What does he have to say to me?” she whispered anxiously as she opened up the text to read, barely able to keep her hands steady.
“I realize in hindsight,” Katrina read, “that, in conjunction with Dad’s reaction, my questioning how you felt and what you should be doing was likely not in the best interest of our relationship and would have given off a bad impression of what my thoughts are. In fairness to myself, it did come seemingly out of nowhere to me, but I do not use this as an excuse. I apologize for any offense I might have caused in my questioning and can only offer that I was concerned about you as your older brother. If that’s who you want to be, then so be it, and do your best to live your best life.
“Jase already stopped by Dad’s house to talk to him, but I’ll speak to him, too, if you want me to. Let me know and I’ll see him when I can get to him. You deserve nothing but the best, and I hope that you can receive it, no matter what you do.
“I’ll see you sometime later, Katrina. Please take care.”
She barely registered that she was crying by the time she finished reading it, blinking in surprise at his words. Trent might have been serious nearly all the time and hardly ever changed face, but their mother was right. He wasn’t someone to hate someone over something like this.
Katrina sighed with relief. Maybe the other members of her family could come around, too.
She didn’t respond right away, using the confidence boost she got from the message to go to her physician’s website and schedule an appointment, typing the reason why with a mixture of nervousness and confidence, and maybe a little bit of excitement. She could do this. The hard part was over. All that was left was everything else.
She had to get up to pace her room once she sent the request, trying to keep her emotions from going haywire. She knew way back when she helped Twilight with her injury that going through that door again would start her down the scary road, and exactly that had happened as she predicted. It was almost comical that she knew this would happen for months and still couldn’t stop it from happening.
Yet here she was on the other side, feeling like she was almost done. Well, not anywhere near done, but the biggest hurdles were taken care of. It hurt so, so bad to just exist, even right then, but even though she was nowhere near done with the road she was on, it was unbelievable to think that there was something better waiting for her.
“I came out to my family yesterday,” Katrina typed to Sylvia. “It didn’t go well, especially with my dad and older sister, but my older brother and mom were much nicer. In fact, if you can believe it, my mom straight up told me she already knew.”
“Haha, yeah,” her friend replied. “My little sister told me the exact same thing when I came out to her. She said she always knew, which I thought was absolutely ridiculous. I’m sorry though that your family isn’t as nice as they should be though. If they’re acting like that and hating you for who you are, then you don’t need them in your life.”
“I hope they come around, but… I don’t know. It’s gonna hurt if they don’t, but I guess it is what it is.” She paused for a second before adding, “I also made an appointment to see my doctor next week about maybe transitioning.” Even now, she felt like it was something she should be ashamed of and keep to herself as silly as it was. All she received in response though was congratulations.
“That is so great! I am so happy for you! You’re gonna love it!”
She smiled, happy for herself as well. Hardly anything about her had changed, and yet everything had changed. She found herself wishing she had started down this road ten years ago.
Her happiness was cut off by a private message that got her attention, this one from that same account that she didn’t know who messaged her about the portal to begin with. She had no idea what they could want and took a look to see what it was.

To one Miss Mark ‘Katrina’ Wiley,
It is by the Crown of Princess Celestia Daybringer and Princess Luna Nightguard that we must inform you that the business which has been conducted in your home since June 1st of this year shall reach its conclusion on February 28th of the coming year. By statute 1003.42.08f, the Crown shall release your residence to your sole possession pending any further action that might be taken, which the Crown maintains the legal right to do for purposes deemed beneficial to the Kingdom and considered just under Article XVII of the Equestrian Constitution.
Compensation from the Crown in the amount of 178,642 bits has been placed into a personal savings account at the Ponyville Local Banking Institute under the name Katrina Wiley on June 10th per the request of Princess Twilight Sparkle and should be received whenever you deem necessary.
For more information or questions regarding the status of your residence, please contact Miss Raven Inkwell by either letter or in pony. You can schedule a meeting with her Highness Princess Celestia by mail if you prefer or enter the open Night Court of her Highness Princess Luna as well at any time.
-The Royal Authority of Equestria
Dated this day, November 18th, 1006 PCE