//------------------------------//
// Chapter Four: Along Came a Spider 
// Story: The Long Path Home 
// by Grounders10 
//------------------------------//

It was a very relaxed and clean Princess Ranma that practically pranced down the steps into the sitting room an hour later. Her mane and tail, both unbound and curly, bounced with each step. The shades of orange and yellow that lurked as individual strands shimmered in the sunlight pouring through the windows. Her coat and wings practically glowed. More importantly, she felt clean. From her horn to her hooves a layer of dust and dirt she hadn’t even realized she was carrying was gone. Combined with the amazing massage the girls had done -- seriously how were hooves that good at massaging? --  she felt better than ever, literally. 

Ranma was humming a tune as she pranced down the steps. She couldn’t help it, she just felt like she was about to burst into song.

“Enjoy your massage, Ranma?” The young Princess blinked as she realized that Kasumi was waiting at the table by the window. The older girl had a pot of tea and three teacups in front of her, one of which had a straw for the hoof-challenged pegasus. Sitting across from her on a pillow was Moonrose. Her Hoofmaiden was sipping from her teacup, a teacup she hurriedly put down.

“Princess!” She said brightly, her bat wings fluttering behind her.

“Bath, massage, hoof trimming, I think they did everything they could in an hour,”  Ranma sighed as she trotted over to the table. There had been things she hadn’t realized ponies would need. “Why are you still here? I figured the three of you had left already after I went upstairs and couldn’t find you.” She sat down next to Moonrose and accepted the steaming teacup the bat pony handed her with, “Thanks, Moonrose.”

The yellow pegasus shrugged and sipped her tea through the straw. “Akane ran off fuming about ten minutes into your bath,” she said, “Nabiki went after her. I don’t think Akane is taking everything particularly well.” She fluttered her wings anxiously, “I can’t really blame her. Everything is just so strange and foreign here. I mean… The five of us aren’t even human anymore.”

“I guess… It’s not the weirdest thing ever for me though,” Ranma said after she took a sip of tea.”

“Your standard for strange is a little bit different than everyone else’s,” Kasumi sighed before quirking her lips in a lopsided grin, “Then again, I don’t really think anyone we live with has a normal standard for weird anymore.”

Ranma snorted and shook her head. Life in Nerima was strange, and that was all that needed to be said.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Moonrose began, “What are humans exactly? I’ve never heard of a species called that before.”

“Hmmm… Well the clinical definition would be tall primate mammals that stand on two feet, have no fur, and use tools and clothes to compensate for a lack of other advantages,” Kasumi said with a shrug of her wings.

“Very clinical,” Ranma said dryly. The pegasus shrugged.

“Humans are omnivorous, though we can’t eat things like hay, or at least we don’t get much out of it. It’s complicated,” Kasumi said with a sigh.

“Omnivore, huh, kinda like Griffons?” Moonrose asked.

“I’m not entirely sure. Less meat I’d imagine, but we do eat a lot of it,” Kasumi said after a moment of thought, “Thankfully I’m a pegasus, so I can at least have fish.” She took a sip of her tea. “Hopefully we can get some octopus for takoyaki at some point.”

“It would be nice,” Ranma agreed.

“Takoyaki?” Moonrose asked.

“Octopus dumplings,” the red-maned alicorn said.

“What’s a dumpling?” Moonrose asked with the tone of someone who had just become even more confused. The two Japanese ponies shared a look.

“If we want anything familiar we’re going to have to cook it ourselves, aren’t we?” Kasumi sighed. Ranma sighed with her.

“Yup.”

The pegasus shook her head, sending her mane waving back and forth, before she sipped more of her tea. “I suppose the two of you have to go and select furniture for the suite,” she said.

“And potentially place orders for repair, replacement, or all new items,” Moonrose said with a shake of her head. “I’m not looking forward to this. I’m a guard, not a butler. I kick things. I don’t deal with lists.” She yawned, “And I should be in bed right now.”

“You said a bit is about one apple?” Ranma asked. Moonrose nodded. “So… How much is a table like this one?” She rapped a hoof on the wood.

“I have no idea,” Moonrose said brightly before yawning again and rubbing at her eyes with a fetlock, “This thing could have been bought last week or be older than my family. I haven’t a clue what it would cost.”

“Brand new, right now,” Ranma clarified.

“Erm…” Moonrose peered at the table. “... Few thousand bits at least? Ten times that if it's made by somepony famous?” She shrugged her wings. “I’m sorry, but I’m probably the least qualified person to be doing this job, Princess,” she sighed.

“It’s fine, Rosey,” Ranma said with a shake of her head, she smirked as she saw the mare mouth ‘Rosey’ with a confused look at an amused Kasumi, “We’ll just have to handle this together. We’ll get started after we’re done with the tea. Coming with us, Kasumi?”

The pegasus looked thoughtful for a moment. “I think I might. It isn’t like I have much else to do around here,” she sighed.

“Great,” Ranma grinned. With that, she lifted her tea to her lips and sipped it. It was good tea.


-0-0-0-0-0-



A Ranma ½ My Little Pony Crossover


The Long Path Home


By: Grounders10



-0-0-0-0-0-



Chapter Four: Along Came a Spider



-0-0-0-0-0-


He was lost. That was nothing new. For Ryouga Hibiki being lost was a natural state of being. A very much unwanted state of being, but a state of being nonetheless. He had lived through years of wandering the roads of Japan and beyond, never quite able to find what he wanted. Streets, forests, and cities tended to blend together in his experience and things never seemed to be laid out the same way twice, even when he doubled back. It created the unnatural feeling that something was rearranging the world behind him as he went.

By some luck, he hadn’t had too many issues since arriving in Equestria. He certainly didn’t seem to be misplacing rooms just by turning around anymore and he had yet to accidentally wander out of the city onto a road to… somewhere. It helped that the few times he had found his way outside that the castle had loomed over everything. The inside, however… The inside was a very different story.

The main floor, at least he thought it was the main floor, had broad white and gold walled hallways wide enough for twenty ponies to walk abreast without issue. It had luxurious meeting rooms with plush overstuffed cushions, with paintings and banners dripping from every surface. Sitting rooms were here and there with plenty of space for anyone who might be in the palace and looking for a place to sit for a few lovely minutes.

The next floor? The same. Beautiful white and gold hallways with broad corridors too wide to still fit the rooms that were supposedly in the same towers. More meeting halls and more sitting rooms. All just like those below.

And below ground? The hallways descended a dozen floors into the stone of the mountain. Level after level of identical stone walls, dark hallways lit only by dim crystals, dust filled storerooms, servant quarters, kitchens, everything made from that same slightly purplish stone. It all looked the same.

So it was that he, after having foolishly decided to visit the kitchen to see if he could get an early breakfast, was lost. Quite thoroughly, he had to admit as he looked up and down the light purple stone hallway. He was half-tempted to break out the Bakusai Tenketsu, but he doubted that either of the Princesses would be happy if he started blasting down walls with a touch. Especially since their castle was perched on the side of the cliff. Blow up one too many walls and he could send the entire thing down the mountainside.

And so here he was, lost and alone. Again. At least he was still in the castle.

Without much in the way of hints to be found from the blank stone he did something he had been doing more of since he arrived in Canterlot. He listened. His ears twisted and turned as he tried to pick up any hint of sound in the echoey expanse of the underground halls. It was a strange sensation feeling the two fuzzy tipped appendages atop his head move. Humans didn’t have this sort of directional hearing. You couldn’t just stand there as your ears searched for the source of the sound. It was, however, quite helpful at that moment for he could hear, distantly, the gentle clip-clop of hooves down the path to his right.

Hooves meant ponies. Ponies meant either a way back out of this maze or someone who might be willing to show him the way.

So he followed the sound, his twitching ears leading him through three turns as the sound of hooves grew from the distant sounds of one pony, to the clatter of many hooves. He turned the last corner and found the dim light of the hallway brightened immensely by the light pouring out of an open doorway. The clatter of pans and utensils was loud even from down the hallway.

It would seem that despite giving up he had found the kitchen. It was probably the wrong kitchen knowing his luck, but an active kitchen meant ponies. More importantly, it meant ponies who probably knew how to get out of the maze that was Canterlot’s lower levels.

The room that he found as he poked his head around the corner was long and wide with row after row of ovens, stoves, and preparation tables lined up neatly down its length. Several dozen ponies in white hats and aprons were working, chopping fruits and vegetables, mixing dough and decorating finished pastries all around the kitchen. A genial chatter of conversation flitted about the room. A few nearby conversations reached his ears clearly.

“-brought it over and dumped the entire pot on his head. Never see-”

“Careful, Salad Green, you're getting a little thick in those cuts.”

“Sorry sir.”

“-Golden Brown keep an eye on those pots, they’re starting to-”

“Crisp Nugget, get these plated up. Blueblood’s meeting with the ambassador begins-”

“You there.” Ryouga’s ears twitched as a male voice addressed him directly. A tall blue stallion wearing a chef’s hat and with a plate of muffins for a cutie mark was addressing him. “Is there something you need?”

Ryouga stepped out from behind the corner. “I’m a bit… turned around,” he confessed, “I can’t seem to find the stairs back up to the main floor.” It pained him to say it, but he hadn’t a clue which way to go from here.

The stallion chuckled. “Ah, new to the castle I take it?” he asked.

“Fourth day,” Ryouga replied.

“Mhmm. Guest or staff?” he asked.

“Guest.”

“Thought so,” the chef looked over his withers at the rest of the kitchen, “Angel! You look about finished, get over here.” He called, a cute pink mare with a straw-colour mane jumped as he shouted before hurrying over from the sink where she was washing her hooves.

“You needed me, sir?” she asked as she trotted up to the chef.

“We seem to have a guest here who got lost,” the blue stallion said, “If you wouldn’t mind escorting him back to the public steps I’ll take over your work until you get back.”

“I can do that sir. I just finished putting together a batch of the seasonal salad,” Angel said.

“Then I’ll get to work on the next batch,” the ched said, “Be quick about it.” He nodded once to Ryouga before walking away.

“Hello there, I’m Angel Cake,” the pink mare said with a charming smile as she took her cook’s hat off and hung it on a hanger by the door.

“I’m Ryouga Hibiki. Nice to meet you,” Ryouga replied, bowing slightly. The mare giggled at the bow.

“That’s a different name. Where’s it from?” She asked as she stepped out the door and waved for him to follow.

“Japan,” he replied, keeping pace with her, which was easier said than done. She had a little pep to the way she walked that put her somewhere between a walk and a proper trot. She noticed after a moment and slowed down. He could make out the darkening of her cheeks as she did so.

“Sorry, habit,” she said with a sheepish grin, “Japan? Never heard of it before. I’m guessing it’s  a long ways away?”

“A really long ways away,” Ryouga admitted. He didn’t need another conversation about being from another world. He’d had it too many times with the guards around the tower they were staying in.

“Huh, your Equish is really good,” she said, “Most foreigners have quite an accent. You don’t sound like you’re from further afield than Ponyville.”

Ryouga shrugged. He didn’t really care why everyone seemed to be speaking Japanese, but it was helpful. “Just speaking like I normally do. I guess we’re just lucky they’re so similar,” he said with a helpless shrug.

“That’s some really good luck. Like, really good luck. Anyways, what brings you down to our little slice of the castle?” she asked.

“I woke up early and went looking for food,” he said before his stomach chose that moment to grumble softly.

Angel blinked and fished a silver pocket watch out of her mane with a hoof. “Um… I hate to be that filly, but it’s coming up for noon,” she said.

“I was lost for a while,” he sighed.

“Apparently,” she said, sounding a combination of awed and stunned. He huffed and looked away. “So, what’s it like living in Japan? Anything in-ter-est-ing happen there?” She asked, pronouncing interesting syllable by syllable.

“Not much?” he said with a shrug, “I spent most of my time on the road trying to find my way.” It was usually just Nerima where things got weird… except that time with the boar, or that other with the mark of the battling god, or that time with the mushrooms- No, wait, that had also ended up in Nerima. Only the boar hadn’t landed him in Nerima at some point- oh and that time with that biker gang down south. At least he thought it was south. It may have been Hokkaido for all he knew.

“Adventurer huh?” she mused. He shrugged. She wasn’t entirely wrong. There was adventure on occasion. “Well don’t feel too bad about getting lost down here. Ponies get lost all the time. This place was designed to be confusing to invaders since it was originally built back when that was a risk. Everyone gets lost a few times, even me.”

“Well, that’s good to hear,” he said with a fake grin. Inside he was panicking. If he hadn’t gotten lucky and found the kitchen he could have spent the next week utterly lost until he starved to death. He really needed to get a replacement backpack… Saddlebags, they were called here, right? Right. He needed saddlebags, and a new umbrella. He may not turn into a piglet anymore, but an umbrella would keep him dry. Once he could figure out how to hold it.

“We aren’t too far from the steps up, should be only a couple of turns,” Angel said cheerily.

As they approached the corner the clip-clop of hooves reached them alongside several giggling voices. Turning the corner he came across the last person he expected to find down in these dark hallways. Let alone laughing and giggling like a schoolgirl.

Ranma.


-0-0-0-0-0-


Several floors underground a heavy oak door creaked open to admit light into the room beyond. “And this is our largest storage room,” Raven said, who was not, as Ranma had originally heard, the seneschal to the other Princesses. She was the head assistant to the actual Seneschal, Kibitz, an older unicorn stallion with a very large mustache. The earth pony assistant paused to make a note on the clipboard she carried around balanced upon her back. Ranma heard her mutter about the lack of oil on the door.

“It should be a good start for your project, Princess,” Raven said, bowing to Ranma as she stepped into the room.

“You really don’t need to call me Princess. It’s just political,” Ranma sighed.

Raven smiled and shook her head as Moonrose and Kasumi followed them into the storage room. “You remind me of Princess Cadence. She doesn’t like using her title if she can help it, but I’m afraid a pony in my position must abide by propriety, Princess,” she bowed her head to Ranma, who sighed again in exasperation.

“Ugh,” She grumbled, turning her attention to the room. The room was poorly lit and it was difficult to make out anything within until Raven flicked a light switch by the door and crystals around the room lit up. The room was filled with neat lines of furniture covered in heavy cloth to keep the dust off them. She could make out the shape of dozens of sofas, chairs, tables, cabinets, dressers, a long line of lamps, and several large bins of what appeared to be pillows and cushions.

“At least there’s plenty,” Moonrose said brightly.

“And you said there were other storerooms with furniture and art?” Kasumi asked Raven.

The white earth pony nodded. “Quite a few, really. However, this room contains most of what would be considered modern and ready to go. We attempt to keep all of the spare furniture clean, but there is a great deal of it. This room here was cleaned just yesterday, however, so everything should be ready to go. Princess,” the assistant turned to her, “if at any point you wish to switch out furniture please let us know. Nothing you pick out needs to be permanent.”

“Is there anything off-limits? I can’t imagine that Princess Luna and Princess Celestia don’t have their own storerooms,” Moonrose asked with a frown.

“Oh, there are several. Even Princess Cadence has one,” Raven said, “Those storerooms are guarded, though, so you don’t need to worry about walking into them and taking something by accident. Any storeroom you can get into will have an itemized list of the contents by the door.” She pointed to a wooden box on the wall by the door. Moonrose walked over and nudged it open with her nose before fishing out a thick leatherbound book.

“Oh this is going to take a while,” she sighed as she sat down and opened it up. Ranma leaned over her shoulder to read the book. It had small cards of paper stuffed into tiny sleeves on each page. Each one seemed to be a record of what and where things were in the room.

“It always does, I’m afraid,” Raven said, patting her on the shoulder, “I would love to help, but I’m afraid I have more to arrange for our new Princess. Paperwork waits for no one.” With that she bowed to Ranma. “I wish you luck, Princess,” she said before excusing herself.

Ranma groaned and flopped onto the nearest cloth-covered sofa. She could feel the dust mussing up her nice clean fur. Maybe it was just her imagination, but somehow she could feel it as it dug into her side. “I’m going to need another bath at this rate.”

“Like having two talented fillies give you a spa treatment is such a terrible thing,” Moonrose deadpanned, “Anypony in Canterlot would love to be in your position, Princess.”

“And maybe you could not flop onto the dust cloth?” Kasumi suggested, “They may have cleaned up, but some things like to hold onto dust.” She sniffed at the nearest cloth-covered table and promptly sneezed. “Oh dear, that’s a bit more than I expected.”

“Cleaned, sure,” Ranma rolled off the sofa and pulled the cloth cover away, revealing a green and pink flowered sofa. It was significantly lower than any sofa she had seen on earth. Not that she should have been surprised. This was Equestria and everything had been built with ponies in mind. The sofa was clearly designed for two ponies about her size to lay down upon, though for some reason it had armrests… Unless those were for a pony to rest their head on? She prodded the armrest.

“Oh Celestia, noooo, please tell me you aren’t thinking of putting that in your room?” Moonrose asked.

Ranma shook her head. “Nope. Just wondering why it has armrests, is all.”

“Oh, well they’re more headrests unless a minotaur or dragon is visiting,” Moonrose said as she walked over with the book on her back, “So according to the book, each piece of furniture has a tag. If we see anything we like we just need to compare the tags to the cards in the book, which are organized by storage date, and then we just need to hand the cards of the furniture you want over to Raven and she’ll arrange for them to be set up in your suite.”

“Then I suppose we just start by pulling all the dust cloths off?” Kasumi asked, looking at the rows of furniture.

“Yup,” Moonrose sighed, “This is going to take hours just to figure out what you want, let alone find it in the book.”

“Hmm…” Ranma looked around the room, “So if there’s all this here… then why do we even have a budget?”

“... I have no idea,” Moonrose admitted, “You don’t exactly have a Cutie Mark, which is really weird for a pony your age, so we can’t exactly have your mark engraved on the ones you like, or commission things with it.”

“... Cutie… Mark?” Ranma repeated. She wrinkled her nose. It sounded very girly.

“... You have no idea what a Cutie Mark is, do you?” The bat-pony asked.

“Not a clue,” the red-maned Princess confirmed as she pulled another cover off what turned out to be a half dozen end tables pressed together. They were all made from redwood and were engraved with small diamonds in clusters of five. It didn’t look too bad, but it didn’t exactly fit the style of her rooms.

“Right… I didn’t expect this,” Moonrose said, staring off across the room with a blank look. She shook herself after a moment. “Kasumi do you know what they are?”

“Something about your personal talent or something?” Kasumi said after a moment of thinking, “I’m sorry, Nabiki asked a guard a few days ago and I only partially overheard the conversation. I just haven’t had time to ask anyone.” She blushed and fidgetted, her wings fluttering in what Ranma felt was probably embarrassment.

“Okay… I’ll explain while we get the covers off. Just stick together so I don’t have to shout,” Moonrose said after she gave herself another shake. She joined Ranma pulling off covers. Kasumi pitched in, pulling off dust cloths with her teeth.

“I rilly rill vish I ‘ad my ‘ooves figrd oot,” the pegasus grumbled through her teeth as she pulled another cover off.

“Then why don’t you practice on these things instead of biting them?” Ranma asked.

Kasumi’s ears laid back. “You don’t mind? These things really don’t taste good,” she said.

“Go ahead and practice,” Ranma waved at her with a hoof.

“We’ll move slow so you stay in earshot then,” Moonrose sighed, “So, a Cutie mark is this.” She pointed at her flank where the windrose was visible, “Every pony has something they’re really really good at. Like, really, good at. When you find it you get your cutie mark which is always unique to you. Well, mostly. I’ve seen a lot of pegasi with clouds and lightning bolts over the years.”

Ranma hopped up onto a pink sofa she’d uncovered and lay down on it, thinking. The idea of having a stamp on her flank that proclaimed her talent to the world was weird. And if that was the case, then why didn’t she have one? Akane had one, Nabiki had one, even Ryouga had one, but why didn’t she or Kasumi have one? “Okay… so why don’t Kasumi and I have them?” Ranma asked.

“You’ve probably never had the opportunity to try something close enough to trigger the realization required to earn it,” Moonrose said with a shrug, “I’m hardly a Cutie Mark expert. I’m just a guard.” She pulled off the cover from another table with her teeth.

“Question,” Kasumi raised her hoof.

“We’re not in class Kasumi,” Moonrose giggled, “Just ask.”

The yellow pegasus shrugged with her wings and shoulders. “Sorry, I’m just… What if your talent is something you don’t like doing?” she asked.

“Not possible. Cutie Marks only ever appear when you are both talented at something and love it. You can do other things of course, my talent is navigating with the stars, but I’m a night guard. Was a night guard…” She sighed and shook her head, “My point is that you’ll never have a talent for something that you naturally hate. It’ll always be something you find yourself enjoying, even if you don’t, or can’t, use it for your job.”

Well that bit was a relief at least. “So we aren’t going to get like, something that says we’re really into cooking, and then get shoved into a kitchen forever?” she asked. Not that cooking was a terrible thing, she just didn’t want to be known as the Princess of the Puff Pastries. Being a pretty pony princess was bad enough without adding that humiliation.

“No. Even if you got a food related mark, it might not actually have something to do with food. Every mark is unique, and interpreting another pony’s Cutie mark isn’t usually that straightforward. Take mine for example,” She waved at her flank, “The windrose stands for navigation, and the stars clearly stand for the night, but the windrose also points north, which could again be navigation, but I’ve been told I have good judgement so it might also mean that.”

“So they are metaphorical.”

“At times. I know one pony who has a house made out of apple slices,” Moonrose said, “The apples are probably just because they’re from the apple family. Their family tends to view apples as sturdy and reliable, so because they’ve got a talent for construction…”

“Apple house,” Ranma said, nodding. It made sense, even if it was really weird. She had to wonder, however, why she didn’t have a cutie mark. She would have thought that martial arts was her thing, but… Was it just something she enjoyed, but not what she was uniquely gifted at? It felt weird thinking about it like that and kinda… worrying. She couldn’t imagine what she might enjoy more than martial arts.

As she sat and thought about that weird idea, Moonrose continued, “Cutie Marks come when they come. You’ll find your talent at some point. Every pony does. It’s… it’s a bit like finding one’s destiny. Once you have some free time, I’d suggest just trying out things that you might not have been able to do where you came from. You both have wings, maybe it's something flying-related? Unless humans have wings?”

“No, they don’t,” Kasumi said, shaking her head, “Though we do have airplanes that we use to fly around the world.”

“Air..planes? Are those like airships?” Moonrose asked with a tilt of her head and ears.

“Much faster from what I understand. If I can figure out how to draw I can probably show you,” Kasumi said while trying to tug at the cloth with a single hoof. She seemed to be hooking it for brief moments, dragging the material along another inch or so each attempt.

“I’ll look forward to it,” Moonrose said, “Now, let’s focus on our job, girls. We’ve got a lot to do and not as much time as any of us would like.”

Ranma nodded, not really noticing that she was included in that ‘girls’. Her mind was wandering wondering what her talent could possibly be.

The clearing out of the dust cloths passed with Ranma’s head in the clouds, clouds that her mind kept drifting back to whenever Moonrose and Kasumi started discussing the merits of one table or another with the other. Dropping the thought of what her -- why was it called something so embarrassing? -- Cutie Mark turned out to be more difficult than picking out tables, sofas, cushions, and even drapes.

She mostly let Moonrose and Kasumi talk it out, and picked from their suggestions. She wasn’t particularly interested in interior decorating at that moment, and it helped make things go more quickly. After several hours they had a small stack of cards that Moonrose tucked under a wing.

“I’m going to need to remember to bring some saddlebags if I have to be your assistant for much longer,” Moonrose said with a small grin to Ranma.

The white alicorn shrugged. “Well I don’t exactly have anything like that,” Ranma said. She didn’t even know what saddlebags might look like in a world where no one rode ponies. How did that even work with wings anyways?

“We’ll have to solve that. A Princess shouldn’t lack something as simple as saddlebags,” her assistant said, “Shall we move on, I think we’ve gone through this room. There are a few rooms nearby that have properly curated art collections stored in them. Based on what Raven said.”

“Think you can find them? The hallways down here are like mazes,” Ranma sighed.

“... And what did I just say my special talent was?” Moonrose asked.

Ranma sighed again. “Navigation,” she said, pressing a hoof to her forehead.

“Yep. I’ll be just fine, so stick close Princess,” she said, trotting over to the door. Ranma and Kasumi joined the bat-pony and followed her into the hallway.

“Hey, Rosey,” Ranma said a few moments later.

“Do you have to keep calling me that?” ‘Rosey’ asked with a small whine.

“You don’t like it? I think it fits, right Kasumi?” Ranma asked, turning big eyes on the bacon-maned pegasus, who simply snorted and giggled before nodding once.

“You have a very Rosey personality,” Kasumi agreed with her own smile.

“... I’m not talking either of you out of this, am I?” ‘Rosey’ sighed.

“Nope,” Ranma replied cheerfully.

“As you wish, Princess,” the bat-pony said before pausing, “This is because of the Princess thing, isn’t it?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Ranma replied with a grin. The two ponies stared at each other for a moment before Rosey’s mouth twitched and she started giggling. Ranma and Kasumi followed a moment later as they resumed their walk down the hallway.

“Some would call that petty, Ranma,” Rosey chided.

Ranma went to reply and her response died in her throat as a familiar brown Unicorn and an unfamiliar pink Earth Pony stepped around the next corner. The brown unicorn stumbled as their eyes met and both awkwardly stopped in the hallway. The pink Earth Pony’s eyes went wide and she went into a bow immediately.

“Princess- erm, Princess um…” The pink pony babbled. Ranma waved a hoof absently at her.

“Ranma, Ranma Saotome,” she said, stepping past the pink mare with an awkward smile. The frozen pony stared up at her with wide eyes. 

“Ranma,” Ryouga said as she stepped up to him. She hadn’t noticed a few days ago, probably due to the headache, but the stallion Ryouga had become was head and shoulders taller than her. Thick across the barrel and with a rather wild black mane. He looked particularly scruffy with his chest fur seemingly ruffled in every direction. Like her, there was a small ring around the base of his horn.

“Hey…” She waved a hoof awkwardly and glanced over her shoulder. The Pink pony had been pulled to her feet by Kasumi who was chatting softly about something while Rosey hung back. The bat-pony was eyeing Ryouga with a degree of wariness. “Odd running into you down here.”

Ryouga shrugged. “I woke up early and decided to look for a place to eat,” he said, “I didn’t know you were awake.”

“Woke up early this morning. The Princesses asked me to breakfast and I’ve been running from one thing to another without stop ever since,” Ranma sighed.

“Except for a bath, she needed one,” Kasumi said with a giggle. Ranma rolled her eyes.

“You try not being dusty, after three days lying on a bed,” she grumbled. Kasumi politely hid her mirth behind a forehoof.

“You still look better now than you did before, even after the dust in the storage room, Princess,” Rosey said.

“I was about to ask about that. Why is Angel calling you a Princess?” Ryouga asked.

“Because she is,” Angel blurted out before covering her mouth with a hoof, a panicked expression on her face as everyone turned to look at her.

Ranma tried to smile reassuringly, which seemed to be enough for the worried-looking mare to drop her hoof to the ground and look away with an awkward giggle. “I… Kinda am, yeah,” she admitted as she turned back to Ryouga. She fidgeted, her wings ruffling nervously. “Alicorns are apparently required-” She was interrupted by Ryouga’s stomach rumbling loudly. The unicorn touched his stomach with a hoof and blushed through his fur.

“... Have you seriously not eaten yet?” Ranma asked in a flat deadpan. He couldn’t have possibly been that lost…

“I-” He began.

“You’re hungry? Why didn’t you mention it back in the kitchen?” the pink earth pony asked. Well, it was more like a demand, what with the way she practically teleported to his side with stare him in the eye with a frown. Ryouga took a step back from the intensity of the mare.

Ranma’s eyebrows rose. “Wait, you found the kitchen and didn’t eat?” She asked, looking at him incredulously. She lifted a hoof and pressed a fetlock to his forehead. He scampered back.

“Hey! Stop that!” He snapped at her. “I just wanted out of this maze alright?”

“We’re like fifty yards from the kitchen,” the earth pony said with a huff, “We can go and get you something to eat then I can take you back upstairs. I refuse to let you out of my sight without feeding you!” She prodded him in the chest with a hoof.

“And he’s not running a fever, I think,” Ranma added, “He’s just got a terminal case of idiot.” 

“Oi!” Ryouga coloured as bright as brown fur would allow. “I just didn’t feel like eating in this maze.”

“Says the guy who has camped out in closets because he can’t find the door,” Ranma said with a frown of her own.

“We have a staff room literally next door to it just for things like this,” the castle cook said. She stomped a hoof hard enough that Ranma heard something crack. Something beneath the bricks.

A loud clunk from below echoed through the corridor. It was followed by another, and then another as something under the floor moved. The six looked down nervously. The brick beneath the earth pony’s hoof had sunk into the ground an inch. It stayed down as she lifted her hoof with a worried expression, leaving a round inch-deep hole in the stone floor.  

“Um… What was that?” Rosey asked hesitantly.

Ranma opened her mouth to respond, only to yelp as, with a loud clang, the floor in twenty feet in either direction split open down the middle. Her wings snapped open a second too late as she hit the side of a chute and slid down the remarkably smooth blue crystal side. She glanced up to see Rosey dive after them just in time to slip between the closing sides of the corridor.

As a group they slid down through a chute of crystal, the material far too slippery for hooves to find traction and the walls too narrow for wings to extend out well enough for flight. Down and down they went, spiraling down and around at higher and higher speeds. Small nooks held dimly flickering blue crystal lights that provided the barest bit of illumination. A glance back showed Kasumi and Rosey right on her tail.

“Wheeee~!” The earth pony in front of her cheered as they fell.

“Why are you cheering?” Ranma tried to shout, but the words were left behind in the breeze as they hurtled onwards. She tried to hook a hoof on one of the light nooks, only to find a shimmering barrier block hoof just outside the nooks. Clearly whoever had built this trap had put a little thought into their deathtrap.

“Oh this isn’t going to be good,” she shouted up at Kasumi who nodded back, her own words lost in the wind.

With that prediction of doom, Ranma focused on not hitting the walls of the slide. She didn’t have to do much, actually. The slide was curved such that anyone not struggling to catch themselves instead gravitated towards the middle of the slide.

Then, without warning, the slide dumped them out onto a rough crystal floor. Ryouga at the front came to a halt only a few meters beyond the end of the slide, only to promptly get buried as the mares following him crashed into him, and each other. Most of them, at least. 

Ranma neatly sidestepped the pileup, easily skating past the pile as she slid on one hoof along the floor. She came to a stop a couple of feet past the pile of ponies and looked around. The slide had deposited them into what looked like a cavern. She couldn’t place the size of it, however. Three, maybe four stories tall, and who knew how wide. They had been dropped onto a narrow strip of mostly smooth crystal that ran along one side of the cavern, while the other side of it seemed to drop into a shadow-filled hole. Small, flickering, crystals on poles lit the strip of smooth crystal as it wound around a corner and out of sight. The rest of the cavern was cast into deep shadows that made it impossible to know how far it went.

She walked over to the edge of the cliff and kicked a crystal pebble into the hole. The sound of it hitting the ground came almost immediately. It wasn’t that deep a hole at least.

“Well,” she said, turning to the pile of ponies that were trying, and failing, to disentangle themselves. “This is why you eat lunch, Ryouga,” she said half-seriously.

“Kasumi get your tail off my face,” the sole colt in the pile of fillies said.

“Erm, sorry,” Kasumi squeaked as she tried to untangle her wing from the pink pony’s tail.

“Any idea where we are?” the earth pony asked.

“No idea, I just moved here,” Ranma said as she walked over to the group to offer what assistance she could. “Does all of the underground have deathtraps waiting for people to wander in?” Her ear twitched as something crumbled in the darkness of the cave and bounced down the not-so-deep pit.

“No, this is- ow- not normal,” the pink pony said. Ranma grabbed her by the foreleg and pulled her free of the pile. The pony smiled uncertainty as Ranma helped her to her hooves. “Um… hi, I’m Angel Cake,” she said.

“Nice to meet you Angel,” Ranma said with her own smile, “Call me Ranma.”


-0-0-0-0-0-


Landing in a pile was not a fun way to end the ride, Angel decided as she tried to push the yellow pegasus wing off her face. It didn’t go anywhere since something was pinning it to her face. It wasn’t a hoof, but beyond that, she couldn’t really say. More important, however, was the wing she could feel getting tangled in her tail. She prayed it was the pegasus’ other wing and not the Princess’s. She’d just die if she’d managed to wreck the new Princess’s wing with her tail.

From somewhere nearby, she heard the voice of the Princess. “This is why you eat lunch, Ryouga,” she said with a hint of a laugh in her tone. Well, that meant she was probably entangled with the pegasus.

“Kasumi,” Ryouga grumbled beneath her, “get your tail off my face.”

“Erm, sorry,” the pegasus, Kasumi, squeaked as she tried to tug her wing free of Angel Cake’s tail.

Shuffling the wing just enough out of the way to peer beyond she managed to see the great big crystal cave wall. “Any idea where we are?” she asked as her heart sped up a little bit. There was no way any of them knew where they were, right? Things like this just didn’t happen in Canterlot normally, and that trigger had been so rough it had to be ancient. Right? Which meant...

“No idea, I just moved here,” the Princess said as her voice got closer, “Does all of the underground have deathtraps waiting for people to wander in?”

“No, this - ow,” she winced as Kasumi tugged on her tail, finally freeing the trapped wing, “not normal.” A white hoof grasped her foreleg and with a tug she was free of the pile finally. Free, but sprawled on the ground looking up at the small white alicorn with the beautiful flame-like mane. She blinked up at her for a moment before finding her words through her awe. “Um… hi, I’m Angel Cake.”

“Call me Ranma,” the youngest Princess said to Angel with a grin. She tossed her red mane and looked around the cavern.  “So drop chutes aren’t the thing in Canterlot, I take it?”

“Not even slightly,” groaned the Thestral as she stumbled off the pile of ponies. The dark blue mare shook her head as she fluttered her wings. “Ow, my head. You!” she pointed a hoof at Ryouga, “Are like a rock!” She then promptly slipped on the slick crystal and face planted with a groan. “Ow.”

“That is not my fault!” Ryouga grumbled as Kasumi got off him, leaving the lone stallion lying with his head on his hooves morosely. Angel was getting the feeling that it was something a theme with him if the way the Princess rolled her eyes was any indication.

“Get up, we’ve got bigger issues,” the Princess said, prodding the stallion with a hoof, “Rosey, any chance we can head back up the slide?”

“Probably not. I barely made it in when it was closing behind us,” the Thestral said as she took to the air, hovering a few feet above the ground with languid beats of her wings, “Not to mention that slide is really slippery.”

“There was some sort of field over the lights as well. I couldn’t find anything to grab onto,” the Princess sighed. Had there been?

Angel bit her lip. Had she gone and gotten too excited again? Her parents always complained that she didn’t pay enough attention to her own safety when things got exciting. She should have tried to catch herself on something. What if the slide had led into a deathtrap? It still might have. They didn’t know where that path of flickering light went.

“Unfortunately it looks like there’s only one path from here,” Rosey the Thestral noted, “Though this place isn’t really striking me as a deathtrap. Not nearly enough spikes, or bones.” Looking around Angel had to agree. It looked more like a poorly maintained path than a deathtrap.

“That hole was as long as the corridor,” Ryouga said as he stood up.

“He’s got a point,” the Princess said, pointing a wing at the unicorn, “Why would you build a hallway length drop chute if you aren’t intending to drop a bunch of people to their deaths?”

“There’s really only one way to find out,” the pegasus said, stepping up to point down the path. Despite herself, Angel nodded. There was really only one way, forwards. She found a grin slowly clawing away at her worried grimace. She couldn’t help it. It was the one thing her parents never let her have. The one thing she always found herself staring wistfully out the window dreaming of.

Adventure.

She barely kept herself from squealing in excitement. This was going to be awesome. She couldn’t, however, keep herself from doing a little hoof tip dance the moment everyone was looking away from her.


-0-0-0-0-0-


Ranma’s ears twitched left and right as their little group walked down the crystal path. The clip-clatter of hooves was loud in the silent caves. There was the occasional distant drip of water or another liquid, but the noises were otherwise limited to the strange echoes that bounced around the crystal caves. Sounds twisted and turned in this place. What started as a clip might come back as a reverberating hum or a ripple of clicks. The only thing that kept her from thinking there were things out there watching them was the complete lack of consistency. The sounds kept shifting as they moved and slowly trailed off after they stopped moving.

The path wasn’t much better. They had been going for half an hour at a steady trot and it had already wound along three cliffs, down two narrow tunnels, and it was looking like they were about to hit another tunnel. The path’s quality drifted back and forth from ‘dangerously smooth’ to ‘crystal gravel’ and back again. The quality of the lighting was just as bad. They hadn’t quite had to rely on Rosey for guidance, but it had come close. As it was, she was keeping Ryouga close. If he got lost down here there was a distinct chance that he wouldn’t find his way out at all.

“How far do you think this goes?” Angel Cake asked as she kicked a small crystal stone into the abyss. It didn’t hit the ground for a few long moments.

Rosey joined the earth pony in looking over the edge. “Based on the sound? At least two hundred meters,” she said, “Possibly deeper since I think the wall has a slope.”

Angel kicked another rock harder and the entire group listened as it fell. They waited… and waited. “I… don’t think its hitting the ground,” She said after nearly a minute of listening.

“That or we just can’t hear it,” Rosey said.

Something clacked against the crystal behind them. Ranma’s ear twitched and she turned to see a few shiny pebbles rolling across the ground after falling from the wall. “I think I heard something,” Ryouga said.

“But not from down there,” Ranma interjected, following the wall up with her head. Rocks didn’t start falling off walls for no reason. Especially not off geologically stable structures. At first, she didn’t see anything in the gloom towards the roofline, then a patch of what she had assumed to be an uneven section of crystal moved. A cascade of crystal pebbles came loose from the wall as a boulder of the purplish-blue crystal pulled itself loose from the stones around it along with six arachnoid limbs. Eight glittering amethysts were mounted where the eyes of a spider would have been.

“Ryouga?!” Ranma asked as a shot of worry rolled through her. That thing was gigantic, nearly the size of a bus.

“I haven’t been able to do the bakusai tenketsu with hooves yet,” he replied, taking a step back onto open air. “Ai-” Rosey hooked his foreleg and hauled him forward before he could tumble.

“Everyone run!” The former guard pony shouted, shoving Ryouga and angel down the path.

“But what if it isn’t-” Angel started, only to get cut off as the spider dropped from the ceiling to land on its claws behind them with the sound of a rockslide. It followed it up with a roar that rattled the cave. Ranma’s ears went flat as it was followed a moment later by other roars that rumbled the cave.

She danced backwards as its claw came down where she had been standing. “I don’t think it’s friendly!” she shouted, before spinning to give it a hard kick with her back hooves. It was, unsurprisingly, like kicking a rock, but thankfully that was something she was used to. Stone cracked as the appendage slid back several meters and the entire construct scuttled back for stability.

“And I think it has friends,” Ryouga added, “Come on!”

Without a backwards glance Ranma turned and ran, pausing only to push Kasumi along with her head. The bacon-maned pegasus had frozen up at the sight of the massive spider. “Move on Kasumi, come on,” She said. Her prodding brought the eldest Tendo sister around and a moment later they were galloping after the rest of their group, hooves raising sparks from the stone.

“I’m so sorry,” Kasumi said as they ran. Behind they could hear the spider gaining on them. “It’s just- Spider! Why are there giant crystal spiders down here?!” She wailed, pouring on more speed to catch up with the group. Ranma kept pace with her.

“What part of deathtrap does no one understand?” Ranma complained, “Run faster!” She spared a glance over her shoulder as the path plunged into a tunnel… one more than large enough for the spider to follow. A fact it made abundantly clear as it clattered after them along the walls.

“It wasn’t a deathtrap five minutes ago!” Kasumi said.

“I think these things are more than five minutes old,” Ranma replied as the tunnel turned, rising upwards in a slow spiral. She glanced backwards again and felt pale as she realized the spider was getting closer. “It’s catching up!” That was apparently the right thing to point out as Kasumi surged forward, galloping flat out up the slope. It flattened out a moment later and then they were out.

“Bridge ahead!” Rosey shouted back as the bat pony emerged ahead of them.

They emerged from the tunnel into a truly massive cavern that was cut in two by a great abyss that plunged into the darkness. An elegant, if worn, bridge spanned the gap between the two sides. Above them the ceiling simply disappeared into the darkness, making it impossible to guess how high the ceiling was. The same could be said of the far walls. The only thing that Ranma could say for certain was the bridge ahead, lit by flickering crystal lights, some of which were dead, leaving the bridge in a mix-match of blue-white light and deep shadows.

The former guard pony took to the air as they thundered forwards onto the bridge. It was, like the tunnel, more than wide enough for the spider following them. Someone had clearly designed the infrastructure to handle the gigantic insectoids.

“These really aren’t natural, are they?” She shouted as Rosey swooped low over the bridge.

“All signs point to no,” the bat pony shouted back, “They look like something a unicorn cooked up for defense centuries ago. I’d love to know what in Luna’s name they think needs this!”

“THERE’S MORE OF IT!” Angel Cake shouted. Ranma looked away from Rosey to find the Earth Pony coming to a halt in the middle of the bridge as she pointed to the far end. Two more of the monstrous spiders were climbing down the walls right by the bridge end.

“Of course there are,” Ranma growled, “Ryouga! Cover the rear! Rosey, get ready to catch me again!” She galloped past a startled Angel Cake. If they were going to be boxed in then they couldn’t avoid a fight. More importantly, however, the bridge presented an opportunity when dealing with such large opponents.

“I’ve got it!” Ryouga shouted back as he turned on his hooves and charged to the back of the group.

“Ranma be careful!” Kasumi shouted as she came to a halt beside Angel Cake.

“Is she charging them?” Angel asked. The earth pony sounded incredulous.

“She does this sort of thing all the time,” the Tendo sister sighed.

Ranma put it aside as she watched the two spiders climb onto the bridge. Both were large enough that their legs barely fit onto the bridge. “Please tell me you have a plan, Princess?” Rosey asked as she flew along with her.

“They barely fit on here. I’m going to try and knock them off the bridge,” she replied, “Get ready to catch me if I mess up.”

“The other Princesses are going to kill me if I let you get hurt doing something stupid,” Rosey complained as she arced away. It probably wouldn’t help Rosey’s blood pressure if she mentioned that this didn’t even qualify for the top ten dumbest ideas she’d ever tried to execute, so she didn’t. 

The two spiders clattered down the bridge towards Ranma, their forms flickered in and out of the darkness. It reminded her of fighting Taro at night. His massive minotaur form was always intimidating in the dark. Still, giant minotaur or crystal spiders, either way, she wasn’t about to back down without at least trying something.

The meters disappeared under her hooves and all too soon the form of the first spider was looming over her. It rumbled with the tones of rocks clashing together and its right foreleg came down towards her. She jumped left as it came in, her wings sweeping down to boost her. She crashed hooves first into the joint of the left foreleg. Stone crunched and cracked beneath her strike as the limb slid along the ground until it caught on the edge of the railing, but the joint held.

She kicked off in the opposite direction and leaped up and over the rest of the body and into the air above the abyss. She twisted her body and spread her wings. She directed her ki into her new appendages and felt the response of something electrifying as she did so. It raced along her pinions and out into the air, forming a great, if rather rough, scoop as she backwinged towards the construct.

Hooves crashed into the stone hide of the beast above its middle leg a heartbeat later as she traveled back far faster than she had leaped out. A shockwave of air and crystal fountained out around her as the entire beast, now bearing a crater in its side, went flying off the side of the bridge.

“Yes!” She shouted with a grin as she beat her wings and leaped back into the air once again. It wasn’t quite flight, not by any definition she suspected a pegasus would accept, but it was a step in that direction. The remaining crystal construct let out a rumble of what might have been anger if giant stone constructs could be angry at least.

It turned to track her, scuttling in a circle as she awkwardly glided around it, her path a barely controlled drunken flight as she tried to find a good angle. She glared down at it before grinning as its ‘face’, for a definition of face that included no visible mouth, reached a perpendicular angle with the bridge. Its forelegs were in the air, leaving it balanced precariously on its four back limbs.

She twisted and again her wings came down. With a bang like a cannon ball striking a mountain she crashed forehooves first between the eyes of the construct. Crystal crumbled and cracked, knocking four of the eight eyes loose from their mountings. More importantly, the back legs had tripped over the edge of the railing. The spider’s legs waved in panic as it tried to stabilize, and there was a good chance that with so many limbs it could have pulled itself back onto the bridge. If, that is, Ranma had given it a chance.

Legs tensed and wings came down as Ranma gave it another shove as she leaped into the air. The construct slid back a few more feet, and its two middle legs tipped over the railing. With the sound of a thousand rocks crashing together it toppled out of sight.

Ranma sighed as she stabilized her flight into a rough, and wobbly, arc. Her wings were already starting to hurt a bit from that. It was from deep in the muscles, the sort that came from overstraining oneself. Something she was a bit too familiar with from her years of training.

Rosey flew up to join her as she looked down at the fight between Ryouga and the first spider. As Ranma watched, the brown unicorn shattered a third leg with a powerful kick before catching the falling spider with his forehooves. In a feat of strength of a caliber that she rarely saw out of him the stallion tossed the construct away and onto its back where its three remaining limbs twitched and folded like a dead spider’s. Chest heaving, he turned to look up at her. With his mane tossed from the fight and the flickering light, he had the look of a roguish warrior from one of those adventure-romance mangas she borrowed from Akane when her fiance wasn’t looking. She waved. He waved back.

“So you can fly now,” Rosey said as she slid up beside her. They curved in a slow arc around the cavern that she was fairly sure would let her land on the bridge. That or the bat pony was going to have to haul her up again.

“Not really. More like I can jump really good now,” Ranma replied.

“You’re gliding right now,” the bat pony pointed out.

“And that’s not really flight,” the young Princess replied.

“If you insist… and that was stupid what you just did,” Rosey said with a huff, “If you didn’t know you could fly-”

“Still not really flying.”

“Not helping.” The two exchanged glances before Ranma started laughing. A moment later her Hoofmaiden joined her as they landed on the bridge. A few seconds later Kasumi and Angel came running up.

“Ranma! I swear-” Kasumi took a deep breath and shook herself. Her wings fluttered loudly. “Can you imagine what I’d have to say to Akane if you had fallen instead of flying? How would I explain that you decided to leap off a bridge while fighting giant spiders? My heart practically stopped when you went over the edge!” She poked Ranma in the chest.

Ranma winced. “Sorry? The other option was doing what Ryouga did?” She waved a wing towards the unicorn who was cantering over to them, then promptly winced as the muscles in the wing complained strenuously about her abuse of them a few minutes before. “Ow.” She folded them tight against her side. Those were going to take some time to properly condition for use.

“That was amazing!” Angel finally burst out as she excitedly danced on the spot, “How are the two of you so strong?”

“Lots of practice. Lots, and lots of practice,” Ranma said as Ryouga joined them. The Angel Cake promptly hugged Ryouga.

“You were awesome!” She said loudly, and right into his ear.

“Thanks,” he said hesitantly, “Um… now what?” He looked around.

“Now we keep moving and hope we don’t-” Ranma was interrupted as a wailing screech echoed up from the abyss below the bridge. A moment later the spider twitching on its back at the other end of the bridge started letting out the exact same sound. Across the roof, small crystals lit up as glittering crystal pebbles started falling from the ceiling.

“Oh that’s not good,” Rosey said before she turned to Ranma, “Run?”

“Time to run,” she agreed. There was no way she could replicate the trick she’d just done. As one the small herd of ponies turned and thundered down the bridge.

“So why are we running deeper?” Ryouga asked as they left the bridge behind.

“Because we sure as hell aren’t getting back up that slide and the more we see the less I think this is a deathtrap. At least, not intentionally,” Ranma said.

“The giant spiders might have something to say about that,” Kasumi said between heavy breaths.

“You don’t build a bridge across a chasm for a trap no one is supposed to survive,” Ranma pointed out, “This leads somewhere.”

“The Princess is right. This feels more like they’re defending something,” Rosey said.

“Great, so we just charge deeper and possibly let out something better left undisturbed? I’ve read this book! I know how it ends,” Ryouga said as they rounded a corner and started up another slope. Ranma could hear the crash and clatter of rocks in the far distance.

“The other option is fighting a literal army of stone spiders the size of buses,” Ranma said flatly.

“I say let the evil out. Maybe it’ll kill the spiders first,” Kasumi said with false cheer.

“Don’t like spiders much, I take it?” Angel asked.

“Not at all,” the yellow pegasus replied as the path leveled out again. A short while later the path went up again, then down, then straight ahead. It was like running down a rollercoaster’s rails while being chased by park security. If park security could bench press a small yacht, and had way too many legs.

Finally the tunnel came to an end, not in a giant cavern, but with a gate. Three storeys tall, ten meters wide, and made of a silvery substance that shone with runes and glyphs. Pony-sized sigils of a bearded unicorn with a pointed hat glowed on the upper half of each side of the door.

“Well, now we know where this leads,” Rosey said as she flew up a few feet to take a closer look, “I don’t suppose anyone brought a key, did they?”

“Only for the castle’s kitchens,” Angel said as she walked, wide-eyed, up to the gate, “Oh Celestia this is so cool. Look at this!” She pointed up at the sigils. “I recognize those. Starswirl the Bearded built this!”

“Who?” Ranma asked at the same time as Kasumi. Ryouga was watching the path behind them with a frown while the fillies poked at the door.

Angel turned back to them. “Starswirl the Bearded. The oldest, most powerful unicorn of all time. He’s been dead for a few centuries, but this must have been one of his sanctums or something. He’s probably responsible for the giant spider construct thingies.” She waved back in the direction they’d come with an excited expression. “This is quite possibly the biggest discovery in at least two years.”

“Two years? Why two years?” Ranma asked. The Earth Pony shrugged.

“It’s a little hard to beat Twilight Sparkle finding and using the Elements of Harmony on Nightmare Moon and Discord,” Angel said with a shrug.

“It really is, but that doesn’t exactly help us. We’re out here, and safety or death is probably in there,” Rosey said.

“Or death. Why or death?” Kasumi asked.

“Because half the time we find one of these it turns out to have some sort of horrific monster sealed up inside that we then have to recapture and stuff into Tartarus for safe keeping,” Rosey deadpanned.

“Lovely. So it’s either how we’re going to live, or how we’re going to die,” Ranma deadpanned. Sounded about right for her life, really. “So how do we open it?”

“Well normally I’d say you or Ryouga needs to use their horn and do Unicorn things, but…'' Rosey landed and shrugged her wings, “Neither of you exactly knows how to Unicorn, right?'' Ranma pointed at her horn with the ring on it, then at Ryouga’s.

“So… how do we open it then?” Angel asked, looking worried for the first time since they’d come down the slide. Ranma’s ear twitched as the sound of stone on stone came closer still.

Kasumi stepped forward and looked up at the door. “Mr. Door, would you mind opening?” She asked in an angelically sweet voice. All five of them stared expectantly at the door for a few seconds before the pegasus sagged. “It was worth a try,” she sighed. Ranma patted her on the shoulder.

“Well the other obvious one is giving it a poke… Does anyone have a stick?” Ranma glanced around.

“Here, underground?” Rosey asked with a sigh.

“Point,” the redhead sighed before stepping forward.

“Wait- Princess!” Rosey protested as she gave the door a tap with her hoof. Nothing happened and she turned her head to look at Rosey with a raised eyebrow.

“What?” she asked innocently. Or not so innocently as it may have been. She knew how risky poking the sealed up door of a possibly ancient evil could be.

“Girls, those things are getting closer,” Ryouga drawled. Ranma shot him a glare but bit her tongue. She wasn’t quite ready to bring up the can of worms that was her original gender, especially not in a place like this. The curse was complicated enough without having to explain it on a time limit.

“Right,” she gave the door a light push. To her complete surprise the door simply swung open, the hinges lightly creaking. “Um… The door wasn’t locked, I guess?” She shrugged and glanced at Rosey who shrugged back, equally confused.

Stepping through the open door they found the tunnel beyond terminated abruptly after another hundred feet. A horseshoe shaped mirror about twice the height of a pony sat on a small pedestal. The only sources of light in the room came from two gems mounted on the wall above the mirror. “... Not exactly what I was expecting,” Ranma said.

“With a door this big you’d expect something a bit… grander,” Angel agreed, to twin hums from Rosey and Kasumi.

As a group they cautiously crossed the room to the mirror and inspected it. The pedestal seemed to be solid rock, and while the horseshoe shaped frame seemed to have gemstones embedded in it none of them seemed to do anything. Even looking at it just returned their normal reflections.

Ranma stared at the fire-maned alicorn in the mirror. “So, no evil clones are popping out,” She said to Kasumi.

“That only happened once,” Kasumi replied.

“Twice.”

“With the same mirror.” They stared at each other with bemused expressions. That mirror had led to some strange times. Like when she’d had to show her own clone how to hit on boys… Not exactly her proudest moment, but she hadn’t been able to stop herself after seeing just how badly the clone did it. It was embarrassing watching her mirror image run around and do something that simple so terribly!

“You two have some weird stories,” Rosey sighed from where she was perched atop the mirror, balancing on her hooves with wings outstretched.

“I don’t exactly live an uneventful life,” Ranma said with a shrug.

“GIRLS! I CAN SEE ONE OF THEM!” Ryouga shouted as he ran into the room. He promptly pushed the gate shut.

“Ponyfeathers,” Rosey said in a tone that implied some form of curse, “Okay, so we have a door, at the end of an underground path through caverns guarded by giant stone spiders, and inside it is a mirror. It doesn’t seem to be evil. None of us have suddenly gained evil twins or been drawn inside. I haven’t heard any evil whispers, has anyone else?” Everyone shook their heads. “Then what is the mirror for?!” She went to rap a hoof on the front edge of the mirror frame, and instead struck the glass. Or at least, she should have.

Ranma stared as Rosey’s hoof went through the glass, creating a small ripple in the image. “... It’s a portal of some kind,” she blurted out as Rosey pulled her hoof back out and gave it a close inspection.

“My hoof looks fine, I guess? No portal clinging to it?” She said after a moment.

Ranma walked up to the ‘mirror’ hesitantly. She exchanged a glance with Kasumi. “This is probably stupid,” she said to the other girl.

“When has that ever stopped anyone?” Kasumi said with a quirked smile.

“Not back home it hasn’t,” Ranma sighed, then took a deep breath and stuck her head through. She almost threw up immediately as the world twisted and swirled together in a kaleidoscope of every colour imaginable even as it felt like gravity was pulling on her from six different directions. Then, with the abruptness of a lightning strike, she was through. At least her head was. Her neck felt like it was spinning independently from both her head and body. The room beyond was pitch black for a moment, then gemstones lit up. Dozens of small alcoves, chandeliers, and tabletop lamps blazed to life revealing what looked to be some form of museum. Small displays were set up around the room with plaques. In one corner was a skeleton of what might have been a miniature mammoth. In another, a machine that wouldn’t have been out of place in Leonardo Da Vinci’s notebooks. Statues, skeletons, gems, and books were on display on plinths and pedestals.

She pulled her head back and just barely avoided throwing up. Shaking her head to clear it of the unwanted sensation she turned back to the others. The four fillies stared at her hopefully. “It’s… some kind of museum, I think?” She said after a nauseous moment. She shook her head again. “Ugh, I don’t feel that great. Waaay too much spinning.”

“You haven’t moved,” Kasumi said.

“It doesn’t feel like it.”

“Why would it lead to a museum?” Angel asked.

“The other end could have been found somewhere and placed in a museum,” Rosey said, having hopped down, she was now at Ranma’s side again.

“Either way, it doesn’t really matter where. Anywhere is better than here,” Ranma said just as a loud bang shook the room and the door slid open half a foot despite Ryouga bracing the door. The rumble of angry stone echoed into the room. “Right, no time to debate. Everyone through the portal. RYOUGA, GET OVER HERE WE. ARE. LEAVING!”

“GIVE ME A SECOND!” Ryouga shouted back as he forced the door shut again, only for it to be battered open a bit a moment later.

“Okay, but-” What Kasumi was about to say disappeared as Rosey pushed her into the portal, followed by Angel. She gave Ranma a pointed look.

“What?” Ranma asked.

“You’re leaving before I am. Princess Luna would have my head otherwise,” her Hoofmaiden said.

“But what about Ryouga?” Ranma asked, waving a hoof in his direction, “COME ON YOU IDIOT! THE WAY OUT IS OVER HERE!”

“I’ll get him! You can’t fly, I can. Now go!” She stepped past Ranma and then proceeded to give her an abrupt hip check that sent her stumbling right through the portal.

Ranma tumbled to the ground on the other side, groaning and covering her muzzle with both hooves as she sought to keep her light lunch from coming back up. Kasumi pulled her to the side as she did so. A good thing too, since about twenty seconds after she came through Ryouga, clutched in the arms of Rosey, came barreling through the portal. The two of them immediately hit the ground as the nausea dragged the bat pony out of the sky. They rolled away and a moment later Ranma heard someone throwing up.

It would be a while before Ranma could be sure she wasn’t going to join them.


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