//------------------------------// // 3: A Small Turn Toward Error // Story: Too Much of a Good Thing // by Jatheus //------------------------------// Pinkie Pie awoke, a little more bleary-eyed than usual. Within a moment, she remembered her all-consuming mission to build her family and bolted upright, looking for Cheese Sandwich. The mare felt a frown overcome her smile at his absence. Then, her attention was captured by a folded piece of paper on his pillow that had been made into the shape of an origami chicken. The mare opened it and discovered a message inside. ‘Dear Pinkie, You just looked so peaceful that I couldn’t bear to wake you. I had to go early to get set up for the Mayor’s grand event, and after that I have that homecoming party for Lyra. Meet me for lunch? All the love, Cheese Sandwich.’ Pinkie Pie felt herself smile as the warmth of love spread from within. She then leapt from the bed, bounding through the house, climbing up, up, up. In the attic, she rifled through a box, picking out a needed bit of fabric. She went outside onto a terrace, and then scaled the roof to a flagpole that stood, usually empty, and raised the flag she had removed from the attic. As practical as it was whimsical, Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich had been using the flagpole to send each other messages to unanswered questions while they were parted but both in town. The flag she rose today bore the likeness of a batch of tacos. No doubt, Cheese Sandwich would know where to meet her for lunch. Pinkie Pie got through the morning with her usual enthusiasm that brought smiles to everypony who saw her. Her next stop brought her to the flower shop to pick up a bouquet for Cranky and Matilda’s anniversary. As she picked out the perfect arrangement, she was interrupted by a friendly greeting. “Good morning, Pinkie Pie,” said Starlight Glimmer. “Oh! Hey, Starlight! Whatcha doin’?” “Just getting an arrangement for the thing, at the place.” Pinkie Pie tilted her head to one side, “You mean for the Mayor’s reception tonight?” “That’s the one. Sorry; I couldn’t think of it for a moment there.” “That’s okay! I forget stuff all the time.” The two shared a polite laugh. Then Pinkie Pie leaned in toward Starlight Glimmer. “So, what was that you were going to tell me yesterday about magic solutions on the foal front? You know I’ve already been doing my part!” Starlight giggled, “Oh, it’s not so much a magical workaround or anything, but there is one spell that can... make the amorous encounters happen... constantly.” Pinkie Pie felt her eyes grow wide, “That’s amazing! I can see why Twilight didn’t want to bring it up.” “Certainly it’s only for use on a couple that is ready to accept the consequences. I expect the fatigue you’d experience afterward would be something else.” “I can imagine!” ... Cheese Sandwich was seated at the taco stand, having already made his order. He was in good spirits, partly for the coming provender, and also in no small part due to the stealthy way he’d made it out of the house without awakening Pinkie Pie that very morning. Physically, he felt great, aside from one area in which he was exhausted. Before this experience, he’d had no idea just how draining frequent and pervasive marital conjugation could be. The stallion focused his thoughts. It certainly was a good problem to have, but he did feel the need for another night of rest. Despite his earlier reservations, he’d try and bring it up over lunch. If he knew Pinkie Pie, she would be arriving any moment. “Hey there!” his mate greeted as she bounded up. “I got your message, and I know you’re busy, so I ordered your usual.” She threw a thankful hug around the stallion before sitting in her chair across from him. The food came, and they settled into light conversation. Their afternoon activities would be far less strenuous than the previous day. As they finished eating, Pinkie Pie brought up their personal efforts. “I missed you this morning, but I’m glad we will definitely have time tonight to...” she looked both ways before continuing at a whisper, “you know!” “I do,” he thought to choose his words carefully. “But I was thinking... maybe we could give ourselves a little break, just to recharge a bit, and go out instead. We haven’t been bowling in a while.” Pinkie’s smile fell somewhat, and her brow furrowed in thought, “I guess that’s true, but Cheese, I just so desperately want to hold my very own little snuggly ball of joy that I can’t stand it!” “I am right there with you! It’s just that...” he hesitated as she continued to deflate. Cheese Sandwich had seen that look before. If he didn’t proceed with caution, he could upset Pinkie Pie, and that was the last thing he wanted to do. “Hey! Why can’t we do both?” the mare exclaimed. “Both?” “Yeah! We can take care of our business and then go bowling. It’s the perfect plan!” This was beginning to get away from him. “Yeah!” she continued. “And we can get dinner while we’re out! It’ll be fun!” “Well, certainly... I mean...” Pinkie Pie caught sight of a clock and suddenly stood. “Gotta go or I’ll be late!” She kissed Cheese Sandwich on the cheek and darted away, leaving the stallion with his thoughts. The conversation had not gone to plan. What could he do? How could he get some relief without upsetting Pinkie Pie? A headache, that’s what Cheese Sandwich would say. The simplicity of the excuse was utterly brilliant. He could get one more night to rest, and Pinkie Pie wouldn’t suspect a thing. It was genius. ... Cheese Sandwich approached his house. He felt fulfilled from a day of spreading cheer, but now he had a mission. He took a moment to center himself, and to contort his guise to feign the discomfort of a significant headache. To further sell the pretense, he shuffled forward, dragging his hooves as he opened the door and went inside. He ambled in, making his way to the living room, where he found Pinkie Pie waiting for him. “Hi there!” she cheerfully sang out. To help sell the deception, Cheese Sandwich grabbed his head and softly answered, “Hi.” The enthusiastic mare sprang up from a sofa that had been made in effigy of a blue crab and approached her mate. “What’s wrong?” She spoke more softly. “I’ll be okay... It’s just that I have developed a monster of a headache.” “Oh no! My poor Cheese! Come here and lie down.” She guided him over to the crab couch and he laid down. Then she grabbed a blanket from underneath and spread it out on top of him; it resembled a giant leaf of lettuce. “You just rest there and I’ll make you some hot tea.” “Thank you,” he overdramatized his suffering. Pinkie Pie bounded away toward the kitchen. Cheese Sandwich felt a little guilty about the entire ruse, but he was far more pleased that it was working. ... Pinkie Pie rummaged through the cabinets as her mind raced across the developing situation. She and Cheese Sandwich were trying to make a foal. They wanted that more than anything, but if he didn’t feel good, they would have to wait. She had no choice. She had to find a way to make him feel better. Her mind grasped an idea, almost involuntary forcing her to shout aloud, “Twilight!” She dropped all of the tea bags on the counter and bolted to the door. In a flash, she was outside and galloping to the Castle of Friendship. If anypony knew a quick way to recover a headache, it was Twilight Sparkle. Starlight Glimmer and Zecora also briefly crossed Pinkie’s mind, and she took note to try them if she struck out with Twilight. As she entered the castle, the frantic pony realized that she should have thought to ask a doctor, but her momentum was such that she simply also filed this information and continued ahead, galloping down the carpeted corridors of the crystalline structure. The muffled thunder of her hoof steps softly echoed throughout the castle as she made the last corner and burst into the smaller dining room, where everyone typically had meals. Both Twilight Sparkle and Spike looked up suddenly at the unexpected arrival with concern. “Twilight! Thank goodness! You have to help me. Come on!” Pinkie Pie didn’t wait to make sure they were following before she spun on her hooves and galloped back out of the room. Twilight sailed through the air, landing at a gallop at Pinkie’s left, and Spike arrived a moment later on her right. “What’s going on?” the Princess of Friendship asked. “It’s my amazing and wonderful Cheese Sandwich! He’s got a headache.” As the trio exited the castle, Twilight Sparkle skidded to a halt, grass and earth turning up under the strain. “A headache?” a single shake if her wings punctuated her confusion. Pinkie Pie had to stop and come back around to where the other two had halted. “So, why all the frantic running around?” Spike asked. “You don’t understand! I need a snuggly little foal just as soon as I can get one or I’m going to explode!” “Yeah... huh?” “Cheese Sandwich had a headache, and because of that he doesn’t want to-“ “I see the problem,” Twilight interrupted. “Have you tried any of the usual remedies: a hot bath, a cup of tea, headache medicine?” “Twilight! This is important! I can’t waste time on half-measures. I know you know a spell that can get him back ship-shape super swiftly.” Spike rolled his eyes and said, “I’m not letting my Three Gem Stew get cold for this.” With that, the young dragon turned and marched back to the castle. The Princess of Friendship let out a sigh and smiled. “Okay, let’s go take care of Cheese.” “Thank you! Oh, thank you!” Pinkie Pie grabbed up her friend in a tight hug before dropping her and galloping back toward the house. ... Cheese Sandwich was resting where Pinkie Pie had deposited him. The giant blue crab sofa was far more comfortable than an actual crustacean in every way. Oddly to the stallion, his mate seemed to be taking longer than usual with the tea. The front door burst open, Pinkie Pie charging in like a stampeding rhinoceros. Even startled though he was, Cheese Sandwich had the presence of mind to grab his head at the noise. Pinkie Pie threw herself on top of him in an overly dramatic yet wistful embrace. “Oh, my poor Cheese!” Twilight Sparkle strode in evenly and surveyed the situation. “Hiya, Twilight,” Cheese spoke cautiously. “Good evening. Pinkie Pie tells me you have a pretty bad headache.” “I’m sure it will pass. I just need to lie quietly for a bit.” “I may be able to make it go away, or at the very least, I should be able to make it more tolerable.” “Okay...” It seemed that his perfect plan had failed to account for the lengths to which Pinkie Pie was willing to go. Twilight Sparkle stood across from Cheese Sandwich and took aim, a magical aura igniting purple from her horn. Sparks worked their way to the tip and rocketed at the stallion, blinding him for a moment as a high level of giddiness flooded through him. As it subsided and he opened his eyes, everything in the room seemed much brighter than usual, almost glowing. “How is that?” Twilight Sparkle asked. “Much better. Thank you,” Cheese tried to not sound too enthusiastic. Pinkie Pie jumped up and threw a hug around the alicorn, “I knew you could do it!” “I was glad to help out.” Turning her attention to Cheese Sandwich, she continued, “That spell should last for an hour or two. If you have any more trouble, you should really see a doctor.” “Thanks,” Cheese Sandwich said, “I’ll keep that in mind.” The Princess of Friendship made her goodbyes and departed. Pinkie Pie showed her out. When she returned, she was wearing a naughty nurse outfit. She was obviously on the prowl once again. “Is my patient in need of a little care?” she asked. “Nurse Pie is here to make him all better!” “Pinkie...” She approached in a manner that typically would have been alluring to the stallion, but on this day, his physiology maintained its lackluster response. She hopped up onto the sofa. He had to think of something. “Let’s get on with the examination and see if we can find the problem,” she said, peeling back the lettuce leaf blanket. “Pinkie, I...” “Say ‘ahh’.” She moved closer to kiss him. Cheese Sandwich blocked with gently resting a hoof on her lips. She sat up straight, clearly confused. “What’s wrong?” “Nothing, I mean, it’s just...” he stammered. “I guess I just want to rest for now.” She deflated somewhat, “Oh... okay. I understand.” “But we can spend the time together,” he added with a half smile. She nodded, her eyes glistening somewhat. Pinkie Pie turned, burrowing against her mate and pulling the blanket over them both. It was that precise moment when Cheese Sandwich remembered that both of them would have the next day off. He hoped that he would be more ready for action by then. If not, he was going to have to get creative.