//------------------------------// // Checkups // Story: Sweetie and the Scientist // by TheDorkside99 //------------------------------// “Wake up, Sweetie Belle,” demanded Rarity. The groggy filly rolled out of bed, mane tied in frazzled knots and the corners of her mouth crusted with spit. She turned her head slowly towards the alarm clock and was surprised to see that it read eight o’clock. Class had just started. “I’m late!” she cried. “Why didn’t my alarm go off?” “Because I turned it off,” said Rarity, slipping into a light sweater. “You have a doctor’s appointment at eight thirty, so you’ll be getting to school a little late today.” “Why eight thirty? And why today?” “Because that’s the day and time mother and father chose before they left for their vacation. Why did they choose the day I was supposed to oversee the shipment of possibly the most important transaction of my business career?” Sweetie shrugged. Rarity sighed. “Hurry and brush your teeth and comb your mane. We’ll pick up breakfast someplace out. I’ll meet you downstairs.” She turned on a hoof and marched down the stairs. “Sheesh, touchy.” Sweetie Belle went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth. She gave her mane a few shakes and smiled at the result. She made her way down the stairs, pausing a moment to look out the living room window. Opalescence pressed her cold pink nose and two shivering paws against the chilly glass, her wide eyes pleading Sweetie to alert her master right away. She found her at the front door scribbling on a notepad. “Uh, Rarity?” “Not now Sweetie Belle, I’m writing a note to post on the front door.” “For what?” “Well, since I will not be present for when the delivery truck arrives, I am writing them to direct their attention to the kitchen table where the package is placed. Terribly unprofessional of me I’m afraid, but what else can I do? My parents just don’t care about my craft it seems” Sweetie rolled her eyes. Rarity opened the door and tacked on the note. “Come along Sweetie Belle. We don’t want to be late for your appointment.” “But…” The bothered unicorn started down the street so Sweetie Belle dashed after her, feeling uneasy that her sister’s fancy feline was left out in the cold. The two unicorns walked past the morning bustle of early grocery shoppers and store owners. A few ponies sat outside on wooden benches sipping cups of hot coffee, enjoying the crawl of its heat down their chests while basking in the sun’s warm glow. They came to a stand where a burly but friendly looking stallion with a curly moustache popped out from inside. He spoke with a heavy accent, but was understandable just the same. “¡Buenos dias, señorita Rarity! What can I serve you today?” “Good morning Tapatio. I’ll have a vegan breakfast burrito with extra hay. Easy on the salsa please.” “Of course. And for you my dear?” “Egg and cheese, please.” “Coming right up!” The friendly chef whipped up the two burritos and gave them to his grateful customers, fresh and hot. After they paid for the meal, they drifted their way towards the medical center through the swelling crowd of ponies. They bumped into familiar faces and wriggled through complete strangers. Sweetie Belle even stepped on an old mare’s wobbly hoof. It was an accident of course, and the repentant filly apologized immediately. As the number of ponies increased to a suffocating amount, the sisters grabbed onto each other’s hooves and trudged on. “Why are there so many ponies here?” yelled Sweetie Belle, the burrito muffling her words. “I don’t know. Hold on and don’t let go, okay?” “Why would I let go?” The crowd had grown so big, you couldn’t even stare at your own front hooves if you looked straight down. Bumping into ponies became nearly essential to get through, and some of them were very bitter about it, especially with the way Rarity bulldozed her way through like…well, like a bulldozer. “Hey, watch where your goin’, missy!” “What am I, a bumper car?” “You gotta license to plow like that, you moron!” Rarity took none of that. “Take it and shove it, you idiots!” Sweetie Belle could feel the heat of the surrounding ponies all over her tiny body. Her sister up front continued the charge with no regard at a pace that became difficult for her to maintain. She could feel her grip loosening with every step they took. She looked up and became mesmerized by the hundreds of bodies that dotted all around her. They almost seemed like they were floating in and out of her consciousness. When they finally broke into open space, a large flank knocked Sweetie to the ground. Her burrito shot out of her mouth and landed on the dusty street. “My breakfast!” she screamed. Rarity turned around and grunted. “Sweetie, what in the world are you doing?” She bent down and helped her sister off the ground with a hoof. “I dropped my burrito on the ground because somepony…” “Your breakfast!” Rarity picked up the dirty burrito and disposed of it into a nearby trash can. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you,” said Sweetie. “Some stallion bumped into me, and then…” “Why can’t you be more careful, Sweetie Belle? Here, you can have some of mine.” Rarity held out her burrito, but Sweetie rejected the offering with a pout. “I hate the vegan burrito.” “Then you should have been more careful and not monkey around with your food.” “I wasn’t monkeying around, Rarity! Somepony bumped me and made me drop it.” “I don’t know if you’ve noticed Sweetie Belle, but almost half the town is out this morning and we bumped almost all of them! You needed to hold onto it harder!” “How can I if everyone’s like three times my size?” “I don’t have time to argue about this. We need to get to the doctor’s office now or we will be late and mother and father will not be happy about you missing your appointment. So, be a good little filly and follow me!” “But I’m hungry.” “That is not my problem!” The words came out so suddenly, she hadn’t a second to think them through. But it was too late to take them back now. Hurt and anger already took over her little sister’s face. “Sweetie, I…” “Shut up,” she whispered. “Fifty bit copay?” Rarity reached into her saddle bag and rummaged through its contents but was unable to find the amount of money that was due. “Um, excuse me but is there any way the doctor could take a rain check?” The disgruntled nurse behind the window pointed to a sign tacked to a cheaply organized bulletin which read Copay due before any visit. “Yes, I know that. But you see, I was not aware of such rule since this is my first time bringing Sweetie Belle and…” “Look missy, either you pay the copay or reschedule. And make it quick, you gotta long line behind you.” The fashionable pony turned her head and smiled weakly at the long line of sloppily dressed patients waiting to sign in. “Just a moment, please.” She swallowed hard and walked gently over to Sweetie who was reading an issue of “Power Ponies.” “Um, Sweetie, may I have a word with you?” She looked up at her sister and raised an eyebrow. “Why are you so scared?” Rarity laughed nervously and said through her teeth, “Why didn’t you tell me that mother and father have to pay copay before you can see the doctor?” “Don’t you pay copay?” She laughed again. “No, of course not. I mean, I have wonderful insurance and, well, it covers everything. Anyway, since I don’t have any bits to pay I’m afraid we’ll have to reschedule on a day mother can take you.” “Uh, excuse me, miss pretty pony?” Rarity turned around. The nurse behind the window waved her over. “Yes?” “It appears the doctor will allow the patient to have her checkup free of charge. But don’t expect this to happen every time, you hear me sweet cheeks?” Rarity cringed. “Yes, of course. Thank you.” She walked over to Sweetie Belle to share the good news. “Really? Wow, that’s nice.” “Yes. Be sure to thank him for being so generous, understand?” “Duh, I’m not stupid,” she said, her voice trailing into the hall. The little filly knew exactly where to go: Down the hall, make a left, second door to the right. She sat up on the hard hospital bed and waited for the nurse to come in to weigh her body and measure her height. Then Dr. Brown would walk in, marvel at how much she’s grown since the last visit, and go through the routine. Ears, chest, back, tongue, then knees. She was never afraid of doctor’s checkups and found it silly to believe her other classmates’ horror stories of checkups gone wrong. Sweetie never had a single traumatic experience like her classmates. They always ended with a smile and a lollipop. The door knob jiggled and the door swung open, revealing not a nurse with a clipboard but a doctor with an orange mane. “Doctor!” she cried. “Well of course, my dear scientist. Who were you expecting, a police officer?” The doctor chuckled to himself while he made his way to the sink. He donned on a pair of gloves while his confused patient looked on. "Where’s Dr. Brown?” “On vacation. Therefore, all of the doctors here at the medical center decided to divvy up her patients equally. What a coincidence, correct?” He grabbed at one of his tools and took his seat in front of his patient. “Left ear, please.” Sweetie obeyed. “But shouldn’t you be at school teaching?” The doctor peered carefully into her ear and pulled back. “Good. As to your question, while I am currently the substitute teacher, I am still required to attend to my existing patients at the medical center. Therefore, I will teach on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday while seeing my normal patients and Dr. Brown’s on the other days.” He took the protective cap off and tossed it in the trash, replacing it with a new one. “Right ear, my dear.” She turned her head. “When did you tell everyone that there wasn’t gonna be any school today?” The doctor rolled over to his tools and replaced the ophthalmoscope. “Now there’s an unnecessary question.” Sweetie was taken aback. “What do you mean?” “If you didn’t know about today’s cancellation, what does that say about everyone else?” “I guess they didn’t know either.” “Precisely.” The doctor rolled back to his patient and positioned his stethoscope over his ears. “You know well that I made no such announcement after school, so when could anyone could have figured out?” “Today?” “Well done.” Sweetie scratched her head. “But how did they find out if you were here the whole time?” The doctor adjusted the drum of his stethoscope. “I simply left a hoof-written note on the door.” “How come you didn’t just tell everyone yesterday?” “Now there’s a good question requiring a complex answer. You see my dear scientist, children retain a small percentage of what they hear. In fact, the second they hear the bell ring it’s as if the sound pushes out the announcement through one ear because they’re so eager to get home. A written notice holds a much higher retention rate than mere auditory instruction. However, understanding the wasteful nature of ponies I elected to nail a single page of the announcement on the door this morning, which I believe will prove to be a much more effective means of communication than any other.” “But wouldn’t more papers with the announcement mean more ponies will see it?” “That is only considering one sense my dear: sight. However, when the pony has to roll out of bed, taste the sandy bitterness of their toothpaste, smell breakfast fumes wafting throughout the home, hear their own clops across the cobblestone streets, feel the chilling cold of the blistery autumn day, and finally see the note hanging on the door, the message becomes much more powerful and meaningful as it engages all the senses.” The doctor tapped the drum and pointed it to his patient. “Now then my dear, let’s check your heart.” Sweetie Belle allowed the doctor to press the cold drum against her chest. She kept very still as she always did for Dr. Brown. She scanned the entire room, her eyes fervently jumping from one end to the other. Nothing out of the ordinary today; the magazines lined up against the wall as always, boxes of tissue paper and gloves sat side by side on the counter. Everything was as it should be, except for the doctor treating her of course. “Good. Now lean forward a little so I can check your breathing.” She obeyed and leaned forward. The cold stethoscope jumped from one spot on her back to another, and she couldn’t help but giggle at the tickling sensation. The doctor pulled back and hung his tool around his neck. His expression changed to a concern that shocked Sweetie into an anxious concern herself. “I-Is everything alright?” she asked. The doctor’s face relaxed into a smile. “Absolutely my dear. Your heart is healthy and your breathing is normal. The telltale signs of a healthy child are all there. However, I couldn’t help but notice that you heart rate accelerated during the time I checked it.” “Is that normal?” “Oh it’s perfectly normal.” He grabbed a tongue depressor from a drawer. “If you’re nervous.” Sweetie swallowed. “Tell me, why are you nervous today?” “N-Nervous, me? I’m never nervous at the doctor’s, honest.” She looked towards the ground at her hooves. “Well, maybe I am a little nervous today.” “But why?” Sweetie began. “I’m usually not scared of checkups. Dr. Brown is really nice and she answers any questions my mom has. Then at the end, she smiles and gives me a lollipop.” “But your mother isn’t here to accompany you.” “Yeah. Also, I heard some of my classmates say that the doctor can be mean and that they gave them these big shots that made blood spill everywhere.” The doctor rubbed his chin inquisitively and hummed to himself. “Sounds like you miss your mother.” “And father,” she said. “They went on vacation and I have to stay with my sister.” “And I take it you don’t get along all the time.” “How did you know?” “Nuances my dear,” he said, chuckling. He brought the tongue depressor up to Sweetie’s mouth. “Open up, please.” Sweetie opened her mouth as wide as she could. The doctor pushed against her tongue and flashed a small light down her throat. After a few seconds, the doctor moved away and tossed the depressor into the waste basket. Sweetie relaxed her jaw and waited patiently as the doctor made notes onto his clipboard. “Tell me something my dear. If I were to tell you that the moon is raised by being catapulted into the sky by a giant slingshot, would you believe me?” “That’s just silly. I know how the moon goes into the sky. Princess Luna uses her magic to get it up there just like her sister Princess Celestia raises the sun.” “And how do you know that to be fact?” “Because I’ve seen it before,” she said with excitement. “It’s great. The Princess flies to the sky and raises her hooves over her head. Then, the moon majestically floats to the top of the sky lighting everything below like a huge flashlight. Then she dots the sky with the stars and the night sky is bright and pretty for another night.” The doctor surprised the eloquent patient with a rubber hammer strike to the knee. “Good, good. So your experience has revealed to you the truth behind the raising of the moon. In other words, you have verifiable evidence.” “Right.” The doctor checked the other three knees and scribbled more notes. “So tell me, what conclusions can you give me based on the empirical evidence you’ve gathered on your visits to the doctor?” “Well, I know that Dr. Brown really is nice, not mean like everyone else says. And even when she gives me shots they don’t hurt too bad, and blood certainly doesn’t spill everywhere. Even today’s visit went well, right?” The doctor chuckled. “I’d say so.” “So then why does every one of my classmates think the doctor is scary?” The doctor swiveled around in his chair and hunched mysteriously over the counter. “Do you remember rule number four for optimal living?” “Yeah: Not everything is what it seems, right?” “Precisely.” He turned around and held out a tongue depressor with a drip of blood to Sweetie. “What do you see here?” The filly’s heart rate rose again, sweat began forming on her forehead. “It’s m-my blood?” “Or is it?” The physician brought up his free hoof and showed Sweetie a small tear on his skin with crusted blood all around it. She breathed a sigh of relief. “Cut myself trying to adjust the drum on my stethoscope. You thought it was your own, didn’t you?” Sweetie laughed. “Yeah, definitely. But I guess not everything is what it seems, right?” The doctor smiled and opened the door. “So what do you think of your friends’ tales of the horror that is the medical center now?” The little filly jumped off the bed. “I think I’ll stick to what I know to be true and not believe everything they tell me. They’re just a bunch of fraidy cats!” She walked past the doorway when she stopped. She turned and was relieved to see the doctor was still standing in the room. “Um, doctor?” “Yes, what is it my dear?” “Well, I know we’re done and all, but I had a big question for you. It’s not about my health or anything. It’s just something I’ve been thinking about.” “Go on.” She breathed in deep. “How do you think life started?” The doctor rubbed his chin. “That is a big question. I’m afraid I don’t really have the time to relinquish all of my beliefs on the subject right now.” “Oh, okay.” She turned to leave to the waiting room when she felt his hoof on her shoulder. “Perhaps you’d like to discuss this over lunch. I have a lunch break in about an hour. Why don’t you and your sister meet me out front and I can treat the two of you to a meal?” Her eyes lit up. “Yeah! That sounds totally cool. I’ll let Rarity know and we’ll meet you out front.” “Perfect! Until then, scientist.”