//------------------------------// // 2.5 - Snap Back to Reality // Story: Through Dusk's Eyes // by TheRedBirdWhoTypes //------------------------------// Somewhere, deep within him. Dusk knows that what he felt for the empress was not right. If he looked even deeper, he'd be reminded that the bumbling and burning feelings stuck in him had no lines in his business. And yet. Dusk still can’t help but steal glances.  Does not help but look over whenever he thinks - and hopes - that she isn’t looking. In these moments, he allows himself to wander just a tad more, to look with intent that isn’t so dark and sensual like usual.  But well, how likely it was for their relationship to be more than what it is right now was practically nonexistent. Just completely not feasible, not because of the fact that he was probably the lowest of the low in the hierarchy of.. Something but also because- Nightmare Moon wasn’t looking for somepony. He knows that much.  (His mind burns with the image of her staring towards Canterlot and he wonders about the past. He wonders about that lil golden box he found once too.) Even then, his mind was one tortuous fuck and so in days where his body moves but his thoughts wander, he can’t help but ponder what could be. All while those eyes of hers seemingly stare right through him as their owner speaks with words that Dusk likes to pretend is his and his alone. It's odd, it's unnerving and it is frustratingly intoxicating for him to admit it. That seemingly aloof arrogance mixed with an air of uncaring somehow kept hooking itself around Dusk’s heart, pulling him deeper and deeper in. While he did his best to keep his head from submerging in distasteful feelings he can’t even begin to comprehend, he knows that it was slowly becoming a losing battle.  Everything the mare does - from that tilt of her head as she reads and talks about her night, to the way her lips turn into such a breathtaking smile whenever it crinkles those eyes of hers and Dusk can’t help but wish he could have them for more than a few fleeting moments. Then when the nights where Dusk finds himself so sensually preoccupied with her highness comes around, with sharp teeth pressed against his fur as the room starts to get heated with their needs; Dusk allows himself to slip into the feelings his soul and heart hopes to display in the open.  He knows - oh how he knows - that it doesn’t go beyond their sensual activities, beyond the surface but does such knowledge stop the way his chest seems to tighten everytime they interact? Does it stop the way his lungs stop working whenever she looks at him?  Nope, of course not. He tries, he really does try to not let the sweet words the empress whispers into his ears - into his heart - affect but no matter how he acts like it didn’t matter to  him, he can’t help that part of him that looks at her for company and he truly can’t help the sickening twist in him at such thoughts. There are so many things Dusk wish he could say, wish to speak whenever they are like this. But he doesn’t, he closes his eyes and pushes down feelings he long since accepted and swallows any doubt and insecurities he could have and indulges like a stallion who never had anything in the first place. He lets himself slip, allows his actions and eyes to try and convey what he truly wants as he leads Moon onto the plush bed. He understands that what he feels is not right and he really does try to hide how he wishes for it to be the opposite. But such longing thoughts had no business in his line of work and when that familiar frustration comes stirring within him at what's happening, he does not resist. Sometimes, he wonders why he gets so self aware of how he's acting around her when they get like this. Wonders why he knows of the way his blood rushes and heat burns at his skin as he keeps his maw shut and his mind to himself. It's kind of funny to think this but… wouldn't this be such a fitting place to confess? Dusk vaguely remembers books with such context. Where the lead and his love interest stood in a dark room, with bated breath and looking so fitting together. Then the irony would hit him and he can't help that sardonic smile from forming in his face. Ha, who is he fooling? He isn't some main character who got with the mare. This isn't some fairytale where he'd go through suffering yet come out unscathed with ponies ready for him on the other side. "Darling?"  Dusk's fur stood on end and a sigh came when Moon's hoof reached up and brushed against his face. The furrowing of her brows and that little scrunch of her muzzle showcased that she was mostly likely wondering why he stilled. Dusk didn't say anything, instead leaning forward and watching as the creases on his lover's face fade as her eyes closed for the kiss that she thought would come.  It works every time. There was always a rush of warmth everytime this happens, when they get so close that you practically share breaths. A crooked grin grows as he lets himself fall into a stallion that Nightmare Moon wants as he regards the mare with an almost predatory stare. It was exciting to see how easy it was for such a tall mare to bend for him. He could slap her like a common peasant and her breath would stutter instead of banishing him to the dungeons like she would with most. Actual thought flies from his head as he dips and crushes his mouth against Moon's eager lips. Dusk lets himself go, let's himself forget as he runs his tongue against the inside of her mouth before deepening the kiss and pressing his hooves by the side of her head as she pulls him closer. Time flies and Dusk knows that he is losing himself to the intoxicating feel of the mare he loves around him and he can't help but move just a touch faster when her once coherent words bumble into random babbling. Obscenities spill from his lips when he lets their rhythm turn into one with no beat as hunger crawls at his stomach and he buries himself as deep as he could with every thrust as her sounds continue to ring across his ears and the walls around them.  The way her hair, usually mist with magic, would flicker into an actual mane before settling made pride fill in his chest. He knows, oh how he knows that he’s the only one that sees her like this. He traces the marks that he leaves on her body that would not last but he does so anyway because tonight, she is his and no one else's. He drinks it all in like a colt without water for months and slows down a tad, just to press his lips onto that tantalizing face of hers. He can’t help it, no matter how hard he tries to deny it, no matter how hard he tries to hide it in his face. Dusk finds he can’t simply stop and look the other way like he has been for so long, he finds he can’t continue to ignore the way his mood seems to take an uprising whenever he is with Moon. He tries but well, like his past, he fails anyway. It may be one sided, and it may be a lost cause, but damn it all if Dusk can’t fuck a goddess’ brains out to the false lives he’s thought for them. He understands there can’t possibly be an intimate space held for him inside of Moon’s heart because he is but a mortal, a tiny speck in her life but so much greater in his. It’s painfully comforting to believe otherwise and if Dusk allows himself to drop into the whirlpool that is her, he’s afraid he might never come back up the same. That part of his life where he ducks down without thought is done and over with. All he wants is to have Moon splayed out beneath him, her face aflush as he thrusts up into him. All he wants is the entirety of Equestria to be nothing but himself and his lover — without the reality that this will never grow whispering over his shoulder. How could he listen to such dark words when something even better laid below him? “Oh Shiny…” Such a siren call brought his attention back and her lidded eyes just made his fur stand at end. A rush of breath with teeth biting into damp fur managed to scratch an itch Dusk didn’t realize had been festering. His lips quirk up into a genuine smile as an unfamiliar warmth rushes straight to his chest and he tries to smother it as he feels his own need for release creep closer and closer. It’s just the sex he craves, it’s just the rawness he desires is what he tries to convince himself but in reality, Dusk finds he can’t shake Moon from his thoughts in an increasingly more intimate way. He wants to be able to wake up next to the Empress, to be able to feel her curl near him and feel the warmth of somepony once more; To nuzzle onto her comforting scent that makes her her. It’s all too much, too intimate and too personal because all Dusk should care about wanting is kinky sex. And then- He slowly regains consciousness, a dull ache coursing through his body as he slowly opens his eyes. He didn’t need to wake up fully to understand what happened and so he turns a bleary gaze towards a fluffy mass, a soft snore coming that shape of darkness and he frowns as post-nut clarity slams onto him once more. Dusk swallows, so very aware that it's morning. That he overslept. (That he doesn’t belong.) And so, he gingerly peels himself up from the warm cocoon he had fallen asleep in and gathers up his items. He escapes from the washroom, parts of his fur damp from a light washing but just before he decides to bolt out the window once more;  Dusk couldn’t help but trot a touch close to the bed and stare down at the body of his lover Nightmare Moon. Her face is relaxed, such a sharp contrast to the tensed jaw he had right now. She looked so free from worry and Dusk couldn't help but reach out and brush his hoof against her cheek. “I can’t help it…” The unicorn whispers. “I can’t help but feel this way about you”.