//------------------------------// // 2: The Teeniest Little Complication // Story: Too Much of a Good Thing // by Jatheus //------------------------------// Cheese Sandwich awoke, quite well rested, but beginning to feel somewhat spent after four days of Pinkie Pie passionately pursuing positive progress in their procreation project. “A good, good, good morning to you!” the mare greeted the stallion. “Why, aren’t we in a good mood this morning,” he observed. “Yeah! I’m with my favorite stallion in the whole wide world and we’re making a family for even more fun, fun, fun!” He felt himself smile at her exuberant greeting. Cheese Sandwich was one of the few that could match her energy, and he found it far more comforting than most others seemed to. He sat upright, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and stretching. “So, I know we both have a busy day today, so I thought maybe we could take care of business first thing,” she maintained her cheery demeanor. Cheese Sandwich felt something he did not expect, loathing. Just for the briefest moment, he didn’t want to cooperate with his mate’s advances. He buried the thought, knowing how important this was to her. “You’ve got it, my party planning queen!” She drew close, nuzzling him affectionately. The dance began. They fell into step, preparing themselves for the coming waltz. Then nothing happened. “Is something wrong?” Pinkie Pie was concerned. Having never before experienced such a malfunction, Cheese Sandwich was quick to defend himself from embarrassment, “No... I mean, I just woke up. Keep at it.” Abandoning the waltz, Pinkie tried a mambo instead. Cheese did what he could to cooperate and get into step. Something happened. A grin widened on the mare’s face, and then they danced together. In perfect harmony, they moved to the rhythm of their hearts, two together as one. A bit of time passed, a bit more than normal. It didn’t end. This was a second problem Cheese Sandwich had never experienced. They shifted back into a waltz, but even those more familiar steps didn’t seem to complete the effort. They continued on for a time, before in desperation, the stallion switched up the steps again into a jitterbug. Their doubled down efforts seemed no closer to bringing about a satisfactory conclusion. Cheese Sandwich pushed all of his thoughts into perfect focus. The world could have fallen away, and he would not have taken notice. He felt a twinge, for just a moment, then tripled down on his efforts. All of his reserves of stamina were poured into the final steps of this dance, and finally they accomplished their work. Panting, soaked with sweat, and exhausted, the couple collapsed on their bed. As they caught their breath, the mare turned to the stallion, “Wow-a-wow! Wow! Somebody is at their best this morning!” Cheese Sandwich let out something like a nervous laugh. Pinkie nuzzled him playfully, “I’d love to stay, but I’ve got lots to do.” With no further ceremony, she stood and trotted to the restroom to prepare for the day. The door bounced rather than latching. He’d have to take a look at it later. Completely drained, the stallion would have liked nothing more than to go back to sleep. Unfortunately, he also had a busy day for which to prepare. ... “La la la...” Pinkie Pie sang to herself as she arrived at Sugar Cube Corner. From the refrigerator she pulled some dough that she had prepared the previous day and heated the oven before placing the tray in to bake. She could almost taste the cranberry orange zest scones she would be bringing to her friends for their breakfast. Mrs. Cake entered the kitchen, greeting Pinkie Pie and beginning her preparations for the day. Pinkie helped for a bit, and after a few minutes, Mrs. Cake stopped short and regarded her friend. “You are positively glowing today,” the elder said with a warm smile. “I am?” Pinkie Pie looked at herself but did not detect anything amiss. “Usually it’s just my cutie mark that glows, but that only happens whenever Twilight’s map sends us on friendship missions.” Mrs. Cake giggled, “I mean you seem to be in a good mood.” “Oh, that. Well, what can I say? I have the absolutely besteriffic stallion a mare could hope for, and I’m going to have my own little cuddly wuddly little bundle of joy before you know it!” Mr. Cake entered just then, “Good morning! Honey Bun, I’ve got to get that delivery to town hall first thing. I’ll be right back. The kids are up.” A crash from somewhere on the floor above punctuated his statement. Both parents looked up in concern for a moment, and then shrugged, returning to their tasks. The twins were old enough that loud crashes were to be expected. It was only if a scream punctuated such that it warranted hasty investigation. “I can’t even tell you how excited I am!” Pinkie continued. “I’m just so glad that Cheese Sandwich is every bit as excited as I am. I think I’d go totally bozo bonkers if he wasn’t just as super duper exciteriffic as me.” Mr. Cake, now laden with his delivery, gave his mate a peck on the cheek, nodded a goodbye to Pinkie, and made his exit. “Well, I’m just tickled for both of you! It doesn’t seem that long ago that I couldn’t imagine my life with foals in it, but now I can’t for the life of me imagine how I’d get on without them.” “Aww!” Pinkie teared up, her vision going completely blurry, “That is just the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard!” The pair continued to chat and work alongside each other until Pinkie’s scones were finished baking. She packaged them up and made her goodbye to Mrs. Cake. Shortly thereafter, she found herself in Twilight Sparkle’s castle, adorning the table with her pastries. Spike had already put out plates and otherwise set the table ahead of their gathering. “Hey Pinkie Pie!” Rainbow Dash flew by, pulling up over the table until she stalled out, then worked the air with her wings until she was gliding around the perimeter of the room, reducing her altitude until she softly landed. “Hey!” Pinkie returned the greeting. “You’re here early, and what an entrance!” “That was just a cool down. I just got in from Manehattan. We had an aerial show last night, partied late after... you know how it is.” “So you’ve been up all night?” “Heh, yeah. I’m going to bed after this. I’ve got a couple of days off and I plan to use them napping! So, what have you been up to?” Pinkie felt a coy smile form on her face, “Oh... nothing...” Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow, knowing full well that when Pinkie Pie took such a tone that ‘nothing’ definitely meant ‘something’. She feigned disinterest, an expression with which she was a master. “Aren’t you going to ask?” Rainbow Dash yawned lackadaisically. “Okay! I’ll tell you!” Pinkie burst, unable to contain her excitement. “Cheese Sandwich and I are trying to have a baby!” “Hey, that’s awesome!” Rainbow Dash’s demeanor shifted to enthusiastic with lightning speed. “Thank you! I have to say, it’s a lot more work than I thought it would be.” “Oh?” At the risk of oversharing, Pinkie Pie regaled Rainbow Dash with their efforts over the past few days. She became so engrossed in the telling of the story and watching her pegasus friend’s expression to ensure she was not bothering her, Pinkie Pie almost hadn’t noticed as the others trickled in. She grinned at them all when she finished speaking. “Pinkie Pie, you are a savage!” Rainbow Dash jabbed her playfully. “You may unstop your ears now, dear,” Rarity said to Fluttershy, who had an added rosiness to her complexion. “Oh no! I didn’t upset you, did I?” “Um... well...” Fluttershy shrank somewhat, “I probably should have just not listened when I walked up.” “Aww! I’m sorry!” Pinkie grabbed Fluttershy up in a tight hug. The timid pegasus managed to force out, “It’s fine... really...” “Actually, there’s no reason to have expected noticeable results yet,” Twilight Sparkle began. “The first sign will be an interruption in your normal estrous cycle.” “Twilight, please!” Rarity verbally lambasted. “Ladies should not discuss such things.” Rainbow Dash grunted, rolling her eyes dramatically. Applejack verbalized the sentiment, “Aw, come on now, sugar cube. That there’s just a normal part of life. It ain’t nothing to be bashful over.” “Wait a second!” Pinkie halted the growing debate, “Do you mean I have to wait...” she did some mental math, “two more weeks to find out if it’s working?” “Okay, so maybe that was a little more than I wanted to know,” Rainbow Dash conceded. Rarity glared with the pride of victory as only one so ostentatious could. Twilight ignored the others and answered the question, “If that’s when you’re next due to cycle, yes.” “Aww! Can’t you do some magic the magicy magic and find out for me?” she pleaded. Starlight Glimmer interrupted as she walked into the room, “Of course, we just have to-“ “No! Absolutely not!” Twilight Sparkle cut her off. “The last thing we need is accidental octuplets.” “That would be insane,” Rainbow Dash guffawed. Applejack’s green eyes widened, “Whew doggies! Can you imagine?” “Oh! I can!” Pinkie Pie squealed. “That's like eight times more love, love LOVE!” “And diapers,” Fluttershy added, but nobody seemed to hear her. “And dress up parties,” Rarity offered. “And diapers,” Fluttershy tried again with identical results. “Twilight makes a good point,” Starlight conceded, a little miffed at being shot down, “Besides, just trying to feed octuplets will leave you feeling drained.” “And diapers...” Twilight Sparkle added, “Not to mention the constant cleaning up you’d have to do.” “And diapers,” Applejack said, to which everypony’s nose wrinkled. “I just said that,” Fluttershy voiced a protest, which was also missed by all. Pinkie Pie considered these things, “Hmm... Okay, that's a good point. But are you really sure we can’t use just a little magic?” “Oh no, as I keep telling everyone, there are some things that magic can’t or shouldn’t be used for. I’m afraid you’re going to have to wait.” Pinkie Pie deflated somewhat. “Not to worry, darling!” Rarity cheerfully tossed her mane, “We will be by your side the entire time.” “Um, not the, entire time,” Rainbow Dash stressed with a grin. All eyes darted to her, “But yeah, for sure the rest of the time.” “Really?” hope returned to the pink pony’s posture. “Darn tootin’!” “Yeah! How awesome is it going to be to have some little Pinkie’s running around? Anything you need, we are totally there!” “I have read a great deal on the subject,” Twilight glanced at Rarity as if she were again delving into unapproved subject matter, “so if you want to know anything about the biological side, I’d be happy to help you find out.” Everypony turned to Fluttershy. She sat quietly, demurely, as was her way. She smiled back at them. “Yay!” Grabbing a hold of Rainbow Dash, who was closest, into a vice-like hug that encouraged the others to join, Pinkie Pie gushed, “I can’t tell you how much that means to me!” On cue, the others did join, thwarting Rainbow Dash’s efforts to extricate herself from what became a group hug. Spike entered the room at that exact moment, and as his eyes fell upon the group embrace, he came to a halt. Deciding that he didn’t want to interrupt whatever girly ritual was unfolding, he quietly set the drinks he was carrying onto the table. ... Cheese Sandwich proceeded to Sugar Cube Corner, his long day of inciting celebration completed. Two different parties in Hoofington on the same day had posed no challenge for the expert planner and spreader of joy, but it did take a toll on his strength. It was well worth the effort, especially when seeing all of those smiles that he’d helped bring about. The object that necessitated his stop at the bakery was that with which he was laden, a well spent tank of helium for making balloon animals. As he pushed through the door, the scents of baked goods greeted the stallion even before Mr. Cake offered a weary smile. “You look like you’ve had a long day,” Cheese Sandwich said. “I doubt it was as long as yours.” “Maybe not,” he replied as he removed the helium tank and placed it on the counter. “This sure came in handy. Thanks for letting me use it. I can’t for the life of me figure out how I had used all of mine up so quickly.” Mr. Cake grinned and spoke with playful sarcasm, “I guess we’ll never know.” “We need to catch up soon, but I should get going. I think I’ll be asleep before I hit my pillow.” “Oh? I thought you had a duty to perform before bed.” “Not tonight, thank Celestia,” Cheese Sandwich heard himself say. He felt as surprised as Mr. Cake looked at the confession. He decided he’d best clarify, not that his friend would jump to conclusions. “I just mean that we’ve been working at it pretty hard, and I need a break. That’s all.” “Have you told Pinkie Pie yet?” “No,” Cheese Sandwich hesitated a moment, “why do you ask?” “Well, I overheard her talking to the missus this morning, and she seemed really happy, specifically because you are as on board and committed to growing your family as she is.” “I am!” he quickly defended. Mr. Cake nodded thoughtfully, “That’s good, but you and I both know that Pinkie Pie gets things sideways in her head sometimes.” “That’s true. We have worked through more than one blown out of proportion misunderstanding. So, do you think I shouldn’t tell her?” “What’s to tell? I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Cheese Sandwich made his goodbye, but his thoughts were troubled on the walk home. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Pinkie Pie’s feelings. Of that much, he was certain. The stallion arrived home to the aroma of freshly baked bread. “Hi there!” Pinkie Pie warmly greeted. “I had a really great day and managed to get home a little early, so I thought that fresh baked bread would just be the best thing ever, especially for you getting home to its wonderful scent! I can hardly stand it! How was your day?” “It was definitely a long one. We ran out of helium, so I had to borrow a tank from Mr. Cake to get through it all. Then that last gathering, when they had told me that there would be exactly twelve guests, they had some extended family drop in out of nowhere, and they didn’t tell me ahead of time. Fortunately, I was prepared!” “You don’t mean...” “I do. I used the emergency party pack that I have been saving for just such an occasion. Between that and always planning for one extra, we made it work. I didn’t see a single scowl or frown on the entire bunch! I even turned a grumpy grandpa’s frown upside down!” “Woohoo for the best party planner I know!” The pair chatted a bit about their respective day’s happenings over dinner. In addition to fresh bread, they had lightly steamed broccoli, radishes, and blueberries for something sweet. As they finished putting away the dishes, Pinkie Pie glanced at the clock, which sat within an effigy of a black cat that would meow at the top of every hour. “Hey, we actually got everything finished up early,” Pinkie Pie noted. “I guess we do have time for our evening fracas after all!” Panic gripped the stallion as a sinking in his stomach tightened all the way to his groin. His mind raced for a way to dodge out of this. “Every time I think about the little bundle of joy we’re going to have!” Pinkie Pie let out an excited squeal, “I just can’t stand it!” “Me too!” Cheese Sandwich quickly agreed. “But I still have to plan out some finishing touches on the mayor’s Ponyville Day address tomorrow.” “Oh, yeah,” the mare deflated slightly. “That’s okay, I’m sure our efforts this morning are enough. Don’t work too late!” Pinkie Pie hugged Cheese Sandwich and gave him a squeeze before planting a big kiss on his forehead. She trotted away, singing to herself. He held his breath until the tell tale sound of the music played from each step of the staircase signaled she had reached the top. Then the stallion let out a sigh of relief, glad to have had such a legitimate and timely excuse come to mind.