//------------------------------// // Walls Coming Down // Story: Sunset and Twilight’s Winter Holidate // by EileenSaysHi //------------------------------// As Twilight sat down on her bed, blowing into a tissue, Sunset opened the roof of the terrarium and extended her arm inside. Twilight watched as Sunset opened her palm gently, allowing Ray to crawl onto it, then lifting it up and gently walking over to sit down beside her. "Ray wants to say hi." "Oh?" Twilight looked over to see the spotted yellow creature. She extended her own open hand and allowed the lizard to clamber onto it, giggling as she felt its feet against her skin. Ray quickly ascended Twilight's sleeve and perched on her shoulder. "All hail mighty Ray," declared Sunset, "king of all he surveys. He shall be Lord of the Dormitory and associated territories, and all who do not submit to his authority shall be banished forthwith!" "If only I could actually see him from here. I don’t want to move my head and spook him, though." "Well, watch out, you might get your wish. I think he’s trying to climb onto your face there." "Ack!" Twilight jolted as the feeling of reptile against flesh suddenly resumed as Ray started to clamber on to her neck. Quickly, she raised her other hand and held it aloft for Ray to climb onto. Once done, she angled it back over to Sunset's open palm, into which the lizard jumped. Sunset carried him back to the terrarium, closed the roof and sat back down. "So..." Sunset started, but Twilight quickly interrupted. "I miss Spike." "How's he doing?" "He's fine, I mean we talk almost every day. My parents will never be used to the fact that he talks, he's gotten into the habit of pretending to be more like a normal dog around them to keep them comfortable. So he contacts me a lot to vent. It's exhausting, honestly, but it keeps him happy. But it's still not the same as having him here. You're lucky to have such a little friend in Ray..." "Yeah. Spike used to call me too a few times early on, but it's been a while." "I mean I can't wait to see him again. I can't wait to see all our friends in person. Visit the shelter with Fluttershy, help Pinkie make a soufflé, get in a snowball fight with Rainbow Dash, help Applejack get rid of Flim & Flam again, collect some of Rarity's this-old-things... but knowing how desperate I am to get back to that just makes me feel like even more of a failure here at CrysTech." Sunset was oddly silent. After a moment, Twilight asked, "You're not going to try and tell me I'm wrong?" "Twi..." Sunset looked somberly at her. "There's plenty of things I could try and say to you right now. But I've been in conversations like this before. Usually on your end, so I know just how uncomfortable this can be. I'm not going to ask you to say anything you don't want to... but I think it's important for me to hear everything you want me to know before I try to offer advice. I don't want to just give you a useless platitude -- or worse, a genuinely bad suggestion that doesn't solve anything. "This is important to me, Twi. You're important to me. I don't want you to feel like you have to hide anything from me so you can, I dunno, be a better girlfriend or something. All of this -- everything about us -- started with friendship, and just because we're dating doesn't mean you're not still my best friend." "I... I understand. I'll do my best to explain. I have to ask, though; why not just use your power? Why not just read my memories?" "Because reading you isn't the same as learning from you. If I know the kinds of things I'm looking for when I try to read someone, that's all I'm going to find. No nuance, just a skewed picture that I might use to wrongly convince myself that everything's alright, or that all of my darkest fears are true. Trying to get a... holistic picture is incredibly difficult. And it's not honest, either. I don't want things between us now to ever be like Camp Everfree where I had to look into your mind to find out what was going on. I want you to have the chance to decide what's important for me to know." "I suppose you're right." "Also, my gem hasn't really been operating at full strength since the seven of us left Canterlot and split up, so I couldn't really do that even if I wanted to." "Uh huh," Twilight replied, feeling a smirk cross her face. "Hey, I said even if!" "Sure. Um... all right. Uh.... well, remember when, uh, Pony-Me talked to us about the first time she met her versions of our friends, and how before then she never thought friendship was very important?" "Yeah?" "Well... I was never like that." Twilight swallowed. "I always wanted to have friends. My parents raised me to believe that it was smart, and important, to be social as well as intellectual. So when I first started attending school, I really did try to make friends. But I just couldn't connect with people. It's not that I was uninterested in the things most people liked, but I was just... never interested enough. So I ended up an outcast pretty early on. And when I started to get more desperate to try to make people like me, well, that's right about when the bullying started. So I just gave up. And by the end, even the principal was stepping all over me and making me do things I didn't want to do. "Meeting all of you was the best thing that ever happened to me, full stop. And I learned an incredible amount about being a friend, a true friend, and the joy it brought me is, like I told Pinkie once, unquantifiable. But I can't say I ever truly learned how to make friends. I came to CHS with the biggest 'in' in the world -- everyone knew my face. Everybody remembered a version of me they'd already met and liked, even if she isn't truly me. And having the six of you to back me up, even after what happened at the Games, made it all the easier for people to accept me." She sniffled before continuing. "But I never truly realized how easy I'd had it until I came here, alone. For a while I thought I'd at least have Micro Chips as a familiar face, but then he suddenly took that gap year internship... and when I tried to start making friends here, I realized I was floundering just like in Crystal Prep, and all I was getting was, like I said before, a bunch of acquaintances who weren't that interested in me. Even Bright Blaze took weeks to really be able to start casually talking to me, and we sleep in the same room! And then I got so busy with schoolwork, and I didn't want to go to parties where I was never comfortable... and even when I tried joining clubs that I thought would have more like-minded people, I would, well, I'd freak out, because someone would always recognize me from the band, or that movie, or a news story... or worse, the one guy who kept asking about the online rumors he'd read about 'The Devils of Canterlot High'." She nodded somberly as Sunset cringed. "So I just had to retreat. Again. I feel like I have to keep my head down, or things will just get worse like they did before. And watching the rest of you just get out there and make friends so easily, it... I really, truly hate to say this, but it feels like salt in the wound. But then I always feel so horrible for even thinking that way about the rest of you... it’s awful. And at least at Crystal Prep I still had Spike..." Tears welled up in her eyes and her resolve crumbled, and her body slumped forward as she tossed her glasses onto the bed and tried to stem the flow of liquid. Sunset wrapped her left arm around Twilight's torso and pulled her into another embrace. "Twi... I..." There was an audible tremble in Sunset's voice. "Why didn't you tell me about any of this?" "Because... because I should be able to handle this myself. I need to learn how to do this. I thought about telling you, more than once. But every time I tried to picture how, it just felt so pathetic. I shouldn't have to go running to my girlfriend and my high school friends every time I need to fix my social problems. It's not fair to them, or to you." Sunset withdrew from the hug, tense. "Twi, I don't care about what's fair or not! You know what's not fair to me? Having to learn you were hurting for months because you didn't trust me to respect your problems or take you seriously! That's unfair!" More tears gushed out of Twilight. "I'm sorry..., please don't hate me..." "Oh, no, Twi please..." Sunset pulled her partner into another hug. "I'm not angry at you, I don't want this to be a fight. I'm just so upset I had to learn this way... I just got so frustrated hearing you say that because I've let the same thing happen to me before. I should have been able to see it..." She rubbed Twilight's back as the purple girl shuddered against her body. "I'm still here for you. Please believe me." "I'm so sorry..." The words were muffled by sobs. Twilight convulsed and continued to cry as Sunset sat quietly. After a few minutes, she started to calm down, but she kept her face buried in Sunset's damp shirt. "For what it's worth, Twi, you're not alone. I haven't been having the easiest time making friends at school either." Twilight pulled back, her raw eyes looking deeply into Sunset's. "You...? But you're so natural with everyone... " "I don't find it that hard to make casual conversation with people, you're right. But there's a difference between being able to have a nice chat with someone and making a real connection. And... I don't know. I haven't had much luck with those lately. There's really only about three or four people I hang out with with any regularity, besides Pinkie, and I wouldn’t call any of them close friends. And even with Pinkie, our schedules make it tough to find time. It doesn't help that, like you mentioned, a lot of people are sorta aware of who I am, so everyone finds it either awkward to approach me or too easy to approach me. Be glad it's just one guy at your school who's into the whole 'devil-vestigation' thing." Sunset took off her gem and fondled it between her fingers. "I've actually had to stop wearing this a lot of the time. When it's at 'reduced capacity' like this, and I can't focus its power, it operates very subtly. And when I would talk to people, a lot of times they'd get really uncomfortable because I'd read some of their feelings without realizing it, and they found it uncanny." Twilight nodded. "But... but you're okay?" "I'd be lying if I didn't say I miss the kind of companionship we've all had at Canterlot. But I'm accustomed to being alone, too, and I can carry myself pretty well without it. It can even feel a little freeing, sometimes, to not feel bound to social obligations all the time. But that's partly because I know that, at the end of the day, I still have all my old friends. And you. But Twi... this is eating you alive. I can see it in your eyes. I could feel your turmoil, even at the festival. I'd hoped I was exaggerating things in my mind and you just needed a pick-me-up, but… I think we really needed to have this talk. This kind of loneliness can be dangerous, Twilight. Being invisible is… bad for the psyche." They both looked downward in silence for a few moments. "So..." Twilight finally spoke. "What do we do now?" "Well... the truth is, Twi, I don't have a good solution for you off the top of my head. Because in order for that to be true, I'd need to have one for myself, and clearly I don't." Sunset looked up into Twilight's expectant eyes. "But I think, with the time we'll have together in Canterlot, with friends who know a thing or two about this..." Her lips formed into a wry smile. "I think we'll figure something out. "But I really, really need you to remember," she went on, "that we’re all still here for you, ready to listen and help. I’m still here for you, and I'm going to keep being the best girlfriend I can be for you. And I hope that’ll be enough to make sure that this will never be Crystal Prep all over again for you." Twilight nodded, then looked up and, amazingly, smiled. "Can I kiss you?" "Of course." With that, Twilight scooted over and practically climbed into Sunset's lap, wrapping her arms around her partner's midsection and meeting Sunset's lips with her own. She felt life breathing back into her as she ran her fingers through Sunset's hair, the warmth of Sunset's breath filling her with a rush of joy and the feeling of their mutual embrace supercharging that inner flame that had burned bright within her since the day the two of them had confessed their feelings for each other. They stayed like that for some time before eventually pulling apart and laying down next to each other, Twilight reaching over to put her glasses back on. “I love you so much,” Sunset said softly. "Me too." Twilight laid back for a moment, breathing calmly and listening to Sunset doing likewise. "Can I make one more request?" "Yes?" "Remember that song you sang at the Starswirl Festival? That acoustic piece?" "'Let It Rain'?" "Yeah. I was wondering if you could play it for me?" "Sure. Let me just go get my guitar." She jumped off the bed as Twilight sat up, staring at her as she set up with eager anticipation.