“That’s from a girl I was with last week,” Katrina thought up quickly, somehow able to avoid fainting as she kept a flat, neutral expression. “She forgot it when she left,” she explained, “and I still haven’t been able to give it back to her.”
“Bad,” she thought to herself angrily. “Bad, bad, bad. This is such a horrible excuse. Why didn’t I say it was a gift for someone else?”
“Ah, okay,” her brother responded casually in understanding. However, he kept his eyes on her, and even though Katrina had already looked away, she could feel him staring. She tried to ignore him, but realized she wouldn’t be able to after a few seconds.
“Yes?” she asked as she turned around again, portraying annoyance but feeling extremely anxious as she looked back at her brother. “What is it? Also, put that up. I don’t think she’ll want it back all messed up.”
He opened his mouth to speak, but waited a moment before saying, “I was just wondering, are you trans?”
“No,” she responded automatically, practically feeling the question coming. How she wasn’t shaking from the heart attack she was about to have, she didn’t know. She felt the urge to say more and explain herself, but forced herself to stay silent. Saying more would just look more suspicious.
“It’s okay if you are,” Jase continued, looking directly into her eyes. “I’m not Dad. I really don’t care either way. I’m just curious. I mean, it would make a few things make more sense, like how long your hair is. You do look kind of like a girl already, so I can kind of see it if you were.”
“I’m not trans,” she said forcefully, with finality, brushing her still wet hair out of her face with a hand. “I just like having long hair. Don’t ask me that again.”
“Okay…” Jase trailed off, clearly not believing her. “If you say so.”
“God, I’m playing this absolutely terribly,” she couldn’t help but think. “I know for a fact that he doesn’t believe me. I shouldn’t have snapped at him like that. What the heck is wrong with me?”
“I’m sorry,” she quickly told him, trying to fix her words. “I’m just not in the mood for your dumbs jokes right now. Help me get this stuff set up?”
Jase obliged her, the two of them moving his things around silently for a few minutes before he asked, “Are you gay?”
“What? No!” she answered, caught off guard. “I just told you it was from a girl I was with last week. What the heck are you talking about?”
He tilted his head and gave her a look that said he wasn’t buying it, responding, “I think you just have that dress in there to cover up the fact that you’re gay. That’s my theory. Either that, or you really are just a trans girl.”
“I’m not gay, I’m not trans, I’m not anything,” she lied, doing her best to assure him.
“I don’t know, it’s pretty suspicious that you just have a dress hanging around in your closet,” he said. “Are you sure you’re not? Maybe you’re just confused. Besides, I’ve never seen you with any other girls, other than, like, twice when you were in high school.”
“It’s not that kind of relationship,” she lied, “and we’ll leave it at that. Plus, do you see any other girls' clothes around here? No, because she only left that one thing.”
“She just left one single dress here?” he asked suspiciously. “Nothing else?”
“Uh, yeah.” Katrina said it in a way that made it seem like it was the most obvious thing in the world. It was all she could do to not die of nervousness right there.
“Oh yeah? What’s her name then?”
“Um, Katrina,” Katrina answered quickly, unable to think of another name fast enough. Now she did blush saying that, looking away slightly, hoping that he wouldn’t remember about her profile online. She wanted to curse at herself because of her stupidity.
“She was here last Thursday or Friday,” she made up. “I forgot what TV show we watched, but it’s in my search history somewhere. And then we um…” She coughed into her hand and looked away, embarrassed that she was even indicating adult activities. The idea of having sex with someone in her current body made her want to shiver, it felt so disgusting to think about.
“Well… I don’t know, but I think you’re something,” he said suspiciously, squinting at her. “Maybe not gay or trans, but definitely something. I can feel it. You just don’t want to tell me.”
“I’m not anything, I promise,” she said as she helped him continue to move stuff. “If I were, I promise I’d let you know, okay? Now can you stop bugging me about it?”
“Fine… are you a femboy?”
“Stop it, Jase,” she said firmly. “We’re not having this conversation.”
“That wasn’t a no, Mark,” he replied, grinning at her. She sent a look his way at that, and he continued, “Fine, if you insist. I will figure out what it is though, I promise.”
“I thought you were being kicked out, not that Dad sent you here to spy on me and play twenty questions,” she replied, leaving the conversation at that, fearful that he might be serious about that promise. The two of them got everything set up, and by the time they were done, it was nearly time for Katrina to clock in.
“I’m gonna go to work now,” she called from her bedroom. “I want you to fill out job applications tonight. I bet you can get something started by next week. Everyone here is looking to hire.”
“Fiiiiine,” he complained from the other room. “You act just like Dad, you know that?” Katrina flinched at the response but accepted the answer for now even though she didn’t hear him get up. She logged into her workstation for the night, wondering as she did what she was going to do about him. A week or two would be nothing, but if Jase was staying with her for as long as she thought he would, it would be only a matter of time before he figured out how she felt. He’d already found her dress and guessed it after all, even if it was in a mostly joking, only semi-serious sort of manner.
“It’s going to be fine,” she said as she distracted herself with work. “I can work around this. I just need to be extra careful, and buy a lock for that closet. I can do this. We lived together before after all, and he still doesn’t know. I can do it again.”
She knew it wasn’t the same though. Living together during childhood wasn’t nearly the same as staying together as adults. She knew the little things and tiny comments would be much more noticeable to him now, especially now that he asked once. She would have to make sure she was extra careful.
Except for the occasional update from Jase about where he was applying to work, the night was quiet, and before she knew it, she was waking up in the afternoon again, a bit earlier than she usually did.
“Can you believe I already got my first interview today?” Jase asked her happily as she walked into the living room to see him dressed up nicely. “That was quick! I didn’t think they’d call me to come in the next day. What do you think the odds of me starting work next week are?”
“I don’t know, but where is it at?” Katrina asked curiously. “What times would it be?”
“Arby’s, the one down the street,” he replied. “I’m gonna be working from nine-thirty to six, and it’s close enough that I can walk there in like fifteen minutes. Can you believe they’re starting out at eleven bucks an hour?”
“That’s great, Jase,” she smiled politely. “I’m happy for you.” And she was. A lot of it was the fact that he’d be working during when she would be in Equestria and that he had found something so soon, but she was also genuinely proud of him for finding something. As far as she knew, he hadn’t had a job in his life.
“Are you leaving now?” she asked, trying not to sound too hopeful about it.
“Yeah. It doesn’t start until one-thirty, but I wanna be there early. They said it’s gonna last an hour so I’ll probably be back at like three.”
“That’s helpful to know,” she replied. “I’m gonna head to the store in a few minutes, but I’ll be here for the most part. Did you need me to drive you there?”
“No, I’m fine, thanks though. I’ll see ya later.”
With that, he left, leaving Katrina to her morning bathroom routine before getting dressed. As she did, she looked herself over, thinking about how Jase said she kind of already looked like a girl the day before. Whatever he saw, she didn’t see it, not very much anyway. Maybe there was a little bit of something if she hunted for it. If she turned to the side and looked at herself from different angles, she could perhaps see hints of femininity.
Suddenly, she got an idea, and a second later, was looking around for a hairband and tying her hair into a ponytail to see what she looked like. It showed her a little bit more of what she wanted to see, a little more femininity, and she couldn’t help but blush and smile at herself. She was able to feel that nice feeling she only ever got in Equestria make its way upon her as she looked herself over.
“Maybe I look a tiny bit feminine,” she decided happily, focusing on looking at her eyes and hair. She let the feeling of niceness about herself run over her for a little while, taking it in until she remembered that she was supposed to be heading to the store. She didn’t want to waste time with the limited amount she had today, and so decided to keep the hairband in, quickly putting on her shoes and leaving.
She wasn’t out for very long, only long enough to pick up a lockable doorknob from the Home Depot across the street, nor was it a big thing to have her hair tied up like it was. A lot of guys had their hair tied like she did, seeing a couple of men at the store like that today. Regardless, it made her happy to wear in public, and she was unable to put down her smile as she shopped, even in spite of her dislike of being seen in public. She wondered why she didn’t do this more often.
It didn’t take very long to attach the lock to her closet once she got back home, making sure it was working properly before locking it from the other side and heading down the ladder and through the portal into Equestria. Twilight was once again sitting in her library, seemingly waiting for her to show up.
“What happened yesterday?” she asked curiously as she looked up from a book. “Is everything alright?”
“Yes, I’m fine,” Katrina answered, the smile she wore starting to drop again. She debated for a second whether or not to tell her what happened before saying, “My little brother came over yesterday, and… he needs a place to stay for a while… which…”
“You don’t sound like that’s a good thing,” she noted as Katrina sat down in front of her, her mood completely turned in a few short seconds as she remembered the conversation they had yesterday. “Is everything okay?”
“I mean, it’s an issue because… well, this castle- this world- is just sitting in my house waiting for him to find out about. I mean, I put a lock on it just now, but what do I do if he just walks in by accident one day anyway?”
“Well I don’t think that’d really be an issue,” Twilight said. “I mean, it’d be a small issue, but the main point was to test the usefulness of the worldgate. Eventually the goal would be to have a public worldgate that’s easily accessible for any creature to use, even if that’s probably years down the line, given all the research we’d have to do. Not to mention the legal work. But one other person, especially your family member? Or even if it was several other people, I doubt Princess Celestia would care much at all, considering the end goal.”
“I… I mean…” She started to get teary eyed as she looked away and quietly said, “I don’t want him to see me like this. I- I mean, I do, I want him to see me as me, but… He already saw the dress and asked me if I was trans, but I lied. I know he said he wouldn’t care, but… I can’t do it. I don’t want him to find out about me.”
“Why not?” Twilight asked her softly.
“I don’t know. I just- I don’t. Even if he doesn’t care, it’s just gonna be awkward as heck. I don’t want to have to reintroduce myself to him if that’s the best way to phrase it. Plus he’s the kind of person who’s just gonna run his mouth. If he figures out, it’ll only be a few days before my whole family knows, and I… I can’t do that. I’m not ready for that.” She felt like she was going to cry as she continued, “I- I think he might already know… I handled the situation so poorly.” She realized in hindsight she should have obfuscated and made it into a joke. At the very least, he was definitely suspicious.
She was getting more confident in herself though, that much she could tell. Even though she did lie to him, having him verbally say that he wouldn’t care if she was trans made her feel better. It wasn’t something she felt like she was ever going to say in real life, but it wasn’t as much of a hard no as it was before. Instead of a zero percent chance of saying her truth in her lifetime, it was more like… a fifteen percent chance now? Still extremely low, but the fact that she felt a bit more comfortable with the idea was remarkable to her.
Before Twilight could comment, she rubbed her eyes and asked, “Anyway, what do you have planned for today? I have about an hour before he comes back.”
The two didn’t do much, but it was a nice time. She listened to Twilight talk about magic, enjoying the time even if what she was saying mostly went over her head. She did contemplate what the mare told her yesterday, about talking to someone. The idea of that made her feel better, but she didn’t know if she actually wanted to. She already knew what they would say. Either transition or…
“Is my house going to be turned into a public place?” she suddenly asked, causing Twilight to look up. “Are people just going to be allowed to come and go as they please from my home?”
“That’s not likely,” she answered. “I wouldn’t hedge my bets on it. More than likely, we’ll set up work in someplace relatively empty and build the worldgate there.”
“So if you’re just gonna build it somewhere else, what is my house being used for?”
“Part of it was to see if a functioning worldgate could be built artificially, which we found out, seeing how often you’ve gone back and forth through it. The second part was seeing how the local culture operates, which we’ve been seeing through you. Eventually we’d want to see how other humans react to coming to Equestria, which is why I say it wouldn’t be a big deal if your brother or someone else came with you one day. The last part is seeing how other ponies react to going through. Just based on my experience, I can’t say it’d be great, but that’s why we need more data on it.”
“Wait, are you- when- mmm…” She frowned as she tried to gather what she wanted to say. “I… I know I read about that eminent domain thing and you talked about it a little bit before, but hearing it like that just now makes it seem a little bit like you’re just using me and spending time with me for that…”
“No, absolutely not,” she assured her. “I do like learning about you and learning what Earth is like. A little bit of it is about this project, but I also genuinely like spending time with you.”
“Okay, that makes me feel better,” she smiled. “But um, if you… if you’re ever going to just up and close the worldgate, will you let me know beforehand? I really don’t want to be caught off guard by it disappearing one day.”
“I’ll absolutely let you know, but that won’t be for months at least, or even years,” she told her. “There’s nothing to worry about anytime soon, so-”
“Ah, god damnit!” Katrina interrupted as she quickly ran back out of Equestria, hearing her front door open again. “I forgot about Jase! I’ll see you later!”