The Unstoppable Moron

by aegishailstorm


On edge

"Hey, buddy, you alright?" Joey repeated. William continued staring down at his pistol.

"Who ever told you I wanted wings?" William asked with a shaky tone in his voice.

"Uhhh, you did, just before you jumped off that airship earlier today."

"No, you said that, I never did." William's gaze shifted back up to that of his friend, and his bright, disturbing smile. He groaned in frustration.

"What are you so worried about?" Joey asked. William just sighed, he looked over at Novo.

"You, if I don't like it, can you change me back?" She though for a moment.

"Yes...if you want, that is." William nodded. Novo raised the strange purple orb up again. It began to glow, and once again, a wave of energy emerged from it, engulfing William, who was trembling uncontrollable, out of habit, he shut his eyes.

"Hey, you can open them now," Joey said to him. He did, he first thing that he notice was that he could now see his own nose...well, muzzle, it was tan brown, same color of his OC. He breathed a sigh of relief. Wait, did he just breath, under water?! He began to panic, he tried to move his foot, but instead found a giant fin at the end of where his foot had been, he screamed, and began to hyperventilate.

"Don't worry, you're ok." His friend reassured him.

"Ok!? Where did my feet go!?" He demanded. The feeling was, strange, and unwelcome, at least as a pony, he would have still had 4 appendages to wave around, this, was completely unwelcome and alien. For reference, imagine having someone permanently graft a sleeping bag onto the lower half of you body.

"Hey, look on the bright side, at least you have-"William held up a hoof-oh yes, no hands. He groaned in frustration.

"You, Novo change me back!" She looked at him, confused.

"You sure?"

"Yes! Now change me back, before I start losing my sanity!" She looked at Joey, who just shrugged, then looked at the seapony in William's place. She tapped the pearl again, and a few seconds later, William was back to normal, he raised his hands up to his face and sighed in relief.

"You have no idea how weird a feeling it is to lose control of half of your body!" Joey rolled his eyes.

"So, what now?"

"Well..." Skystar waved her flipper, and a globe of magic appeared around William's head.

"Better?" She asked him.

"Yes, I much prefer this to losing my legs."

"With that we can turn everypony back home into something powerful enough to face the storm king's army!" Twilight swam up to Novo.

"Or, it could end up in his greedy claws!" She shot back.

"But-"

"Honey, I'm sorry about your home, I truly am. But my responsibility is t protect my subject. The pearl is not going anywhere."She raised it up, and the pearl was grabbed by that strange chandelier in the ceiling.

"Hmm, must be alive, or magic, or both," William noted.

"But, we came all this way, you can't stay trapped down here forever, there's so much you're missing."

"And we are 100 percent ok with that." Novo replied. A jellyfish swam up to her and squeaked.

"Yes Jamal?"

"Oh, time for my seaweed wrap!" She swam out of the throne room, leaving the group alone with Skystar.

"William, did that Jellyfish just-"

"Yes it did Joey."

"So that's it, we left home for nothing?" Applejack asked Twilight.

"Well, not nothing, I got to have some fun." William mumbled to himself. They all turned to Skystar.

"Best idea, you can stay with us, forever!" She clapped her fins. The group stared at her with a look of "Dafaq did you just say?" William rubbed his temple, or at least, tried to, with the bubble of magic around his head.

"The fact aside that that would mean having to permanently change into one of...you," He gaged slightly. "I'm not staying down here, and I'll drag y'all out of this place kicking and screaming if need be. He looked over at the six.

"There are so many things we can do...we can make friendship bracelets out of shell...picture frames out of shells...waste baskets out of shells-" William screamed in mental anguish and redrew his sidearm.

"Gahhh! Cut the nonsense! No seriously, I will literally have a seizure if you continue.

"Ma'am you must realize that we can't stay." Rarity told Skystar.

"We've got to get back to our families." Applejack added.

"Oh no.. Of course, of course, of course you have your own friends back home, it's fine, it's fine, Shelly and Sheldon get jealous any way's, it's probably for the best. I'll get mom to turn you back so you can go home." William let out of a low growl of disapproval as Skystar swam away.

"I know we have to go, but you guy's saw how disappointed Princess Skystar was, couldn't we stay for just little bit longer?" Pinkie pressed.

"Pinkie, we just don't have time for-" Twilight cut applejack off.

"Oh no... Pinkie's right."

"Say what now?" Rainbow and William both asked at the same time.


"Well...we still need to come up with a plan to get back, a few minutes wouldn't make a huge difference. And if there's anypony who can cram a life time of fun into a blink of an eye, it's Pinkie pie! So go on ahead and give Skystar the best time ever!" Twilight winked back at William, he nodded in affirmation. He watched as she shooed her friends away. William gazed over at Joey, he snapped and pointed off in their direction.

"Go, now." He told Joey, who was more than eager to agree with him. Once they were gone, Twilight looked around the room for a moment, William followed her gaze.

"What is she looking for, the damn pearl's up there," She turned to face him, and swam up to him.


"Hey, William, I need you're the help, and you're the only one I can trust, can I?" William folded his arms. "I don't know, can you?" She continued on.

"I need you to help me get the pearl." She begged him.

"Hmmm..." His eye's scanned the chamber.

"Alrighty then! Let's get started." He gestured for her to follow, and swam up the the ceiling. Studying the chandelier for weak points.

"Look's pretty damn sturdy, I say we blow it with flash paper, you?"

"Uh, how about we just take it?" William chuckled.

"Well then, go on ahead...be my guest." He could hear singing in the distance. Joey's voice going along with it. He shook his head.

"Universe, how do I get stuck in these kind's of situations?"

"Oh right, my ego." The thought of it brought a dim smile to his face, soon fading as he realized what was happening.