Who Is Santa Claus?

by ThePinkedWonder


Chapter 1: Jokes and a story

Hearth’s Warming. 

It wasn’t completely like Christmas, but with the colder air, snow, decorations blanketing Ponyville’s houses, and the prospect of presents, it was pretty doggone close. Besides, I had grown accustomed to the weirdest part of Hearth's Warming: the part where I’m in Equestria, a magical world full of multi-colored sapient ponies that’s ruled by a powerful, kind-hearted, cake-loving alicorn princess. Alicorns don’t even exist in my old world– and if they did, I highly doubt they would have talked, or cared for cakes.

But whatever. As for me, in the library of a certain adorkable alicorn’s castle, Spike and I were busy wrapping up on a checklist. That previously mentioned certain alicorn had asked us to handle it while she dealt with other ones.

I asked, “Did we hang up all of the remaining lights in here?”

Spike gazed up toward some blinking Christmas–uh, that is, Hearth’s Warming lights dangling from the ceiling; others hung over the doors. “Check.”

“Do we have all the decorations on our tree?” 

He glanced toward our tree, near one of the bookshelves. It was wrapped in lights, coated with candy canes and baubles, and adorned in a gold garland and flashing lights. Finally, our tree was topped off with a big ‘ol glowing purple heart-shaped bulb. “Check. We remembered the candy canes this time.”

“Good. Are all yours, Twilight’s, Starie’s, and my presents under it?”

Not check. We’re missing one.”

“We are? Whose gift?”

 “One of mine.”

“Really?” I peeked toward our tree again. Unless my eyes were playing tricks on me, all our gifts, wrapped up and wearing bows on top, were still neatly tucked under it. “You sure, because I think they are all there.”

Spike’s lips curled into a sly smile. His wings, which I still wasn’t entirely used to – they only sprouted about two weeks ago – beggingly stood up. “I know, but you could get me an extra one.” 

I’ll give him a “B” for effort. I smirked and said, “I’ll make a deal with you: I’ll fetch you one more gift if you fetch me one more.”

The greedy dragon grimaced. “Uh...on second thought, Eric, I think I have enough.”

“Heh heh, that’s what I thought.” I surveyed the list. We took care of everything on it, except for a little task Twilight didn’t think to put down. “Okay, we’re done with this list, but we’re gonna still need to do one more thing: calm down a panicking alicorn. You know the one.”

“Didn’t you say we did everything on her list? What could she panic over?”

“You know Twilight; she’ll find something.” I glanced at a picture sitting on a wooden table of Twilight, Starlight – or “Starie” as I often call her, as I did before – Spike, and me. “Hopefully, Starie won’t join in the freak out act too.”

Spike, the expert between us in calming panicking ponies, chuckled. “Good point. Those two don’t make life easy on us. Still, we might get lucky this–”

“SPIKE!!” a familiar voice from outside the library screeched.

Spike moaned. Didn’t take long for that bit of hope to get shot down. “Or not.”

“A panicking alicorn should be in here any second.” I rubbed my hands. “Ready to rein in our favorite neurotic princess for the millionth time, or trillionth time in your case?”

“Ready,” he answered confidently.

One of the library’s doors flew open in pink magic, and Twilight burst inside and ran to us. I expected her mane to be ragged, but it was as clean and slick as it usually be.

“Spike, Buggie, it’s terrible! It’s awful!”

Given she was in the midst of another freak-out, part of me was surprised Twi remembered to call me “Buggie”, a nickname she and Starie had cooked up and use for me.

Spike asked, “What is it, this time?”

“There’s nothing for me to stress out over this Hearth’s Warming! My psyche isn't used to that! What do I do?!”

Well, this was a new one. Spike and I stared at each other, then turned back to Twilight and we asked in unison, “Uh, what?”

“And you calmed me down,” Twilight assured calmly, but playfully. “Now you have everything taken care of. Hehe.”

Oh, that big sneak. Couldn’t help but shake my head at myself. “You overheard me just now, didn’t you?”

“That is correct,” she answered with a big fat smirk, “so since you were waiting for a panicking alicorn, I decided to have a little fun.”

Twilight may not be Equestria’s most joke-loving pony – that’s Rainbow Dash – but she can be among the best in the business when she’s in her joker moods. “Okay, you nailed us,” I said. “That was a good–”

“NO!!”

The scream’s voice belonged to the only pony I know who can rival Twilight Sparkle in the art of freaking out: the unicorn named Starlight Glimmer. Spike groaned, and Twilight just turned to the door she ran through before. Thought she’d give a stronger reaction than that.

After about five or so seconds, Starie dashed into the library. “Guys, you’re not gonna believe this! I...I…”

Spike asked, “You what?”

“I...I…I forgot I was supposed to be panicking with Twilight, but I’m calm now. Hee hee.”

Twilight giggled, but Spike and I facepalmed. Got trolled twice.

Still, I’m a good sport with jokes, so after I gave a little chuckle, I asked, “So both of you overheard me?”

“Yep!” Starie answered, hoofpumping her partner in crime. Both of those mares’ smiles were so smug.

“And you two fell for our joke! Maybe next year Starlight and I will pretend to stress out again as a new Hearth's Warming trad–”

*creak*

“That should be the gang coming through the castle’s doors.” I looked to Twilight’s portal connecting Equestria with “Sunset’s” world. “Once Sunset pops through the portal, everybody will be here.”

A door opened, and Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Rarity trotted through. Pinkie Pie hopped in, as she does, even making her signature springing sound effect with each hop.

“Hello, darlings!” Rarity greeted with her usual friendly smile.

“Hi, guys,” Twilight greeted back. Starie, Spike, and I followed up with our own greeting or handwave/hoofwave.

Applejack turned her head toward our tree, and rubbed her head with a seemingly puzzled frown. “I thought y’all had a tradition where you open up all yer gifts on Hearth’s Warming Eve.”

Twilight answered, “We do, but Buggie said his family has a Hearth’s Warming tradition, or ‘Christmas’ as humans call their version of Hearth’s Warming, where they all open one gift each on the morning of Christmas Eve.”

“Oh yes, I recall that he told me about it before,” Rarity took a quick glance toward the tree. “So you followed his family’s tradition this year?”

“Not quite,” Spike answered. “Twilight asked him if he wanted us to do it, but he didn’t want us to change our traditions just for his sake.”

“But she felt bad about not offering to try it last year, my first Hearth’s Warming.” I stretched my arms and set the checklist on the table–we didn’t need it anymore. “So, we struck a compromise by fusing our traditions into a new one: we each crack open two gifts on the night of Hearth’s Warming Eve. Spike had just enough patience to settle for only opening two.”

“My family didn’t have much in the way of Hearth’s Warming traditions, so being a part of any is fun for me,” Starie said with more fondness about it than I expected. Who knew she could be so into it?

Spike glared at me with a little pouty scowl. “And what do you mean ‘just enough’ patience? I can easily handle only opening two!”

“Says the dragon that tried to coax me into giving him one more gift.”

He fiddled with his claws. “In my defense, I already knew you wouldn’t.”

Rainbow said, “Heh heh. It’s neat that humans have some holidays similar to Equestria’s, but with different names. Is ‘Christmas’ really just like Hearth’s Warming?”

“Pretty much. The only thing different, other than its name and origins, is that Equestria doesn’t have a San–”

The portal glowed pink. A familiar gold unicorn, wearing a necklace bearing a red geode, stepped out from it, carrying a bulging sack on her back. She almost resembled a pony Santa Claus, and was far cuter than the real deal if you ask me.

Twilight waved a hoof. “Hi, Sunset, I was wondering when you were going to come.”

“Well, now you know.” Sunset pointed at her sack with a big grin. “And surprise! I brought gifts for all of you.”

Pinkie hopped in place as she cheered, “Ooh, what a nice, nice, nice surprise!”

Rarity smiled and commented, “Aren’t you a real darling!”

“Aw, ya didn’t need to get me anythin’.”

“But we appreciate it,” Fluttershy said with a smile as well, but she suddenly frowned and slumped forward. “Though, I feel bad that I didn’t get you anything, yet you went out of your way to get me something. I’m sorry, and I’ll later–”

Sunset waved a dismissing hoof. “Don’t worry about it. These are just little things I got, and it’s better to give than to receive, after all. The only thing I need for Hearth’s Warming is to not be alone.”

“That’s a great attitude, but yer ain’t goin’ to spend it with our human selves?”

“I am.” Sunset’s horn glowed red. Her sack floated off her back and near the tree. “I’m planning to spend about half of it with them and half here in Equestria.”

“I see.” Twilight stroked her cheek and gazed downward, likely in thought. “Tomorrow, I should pay them a quick visit before Shining Armor, Cadance, and Flurry Heart arrive and give them all a gift. I’m sure my other self would love to read some books about Equestria.”

Given Twi’s human self is still a Twilight Sparkle, saying she “would love to read” was probably a huge understatement! “I bet she would! And, Sunset, with that sack you brought, you could make a good Santa Claus.”

“Oh, I don’t know about th–”

“Wait, ‘Santa Claus’? Who is that?” Rarity asked.

“Oh, yeah, I never told you about him, and I guess Twilight never did either.” I sat on the couch and lay snugly back. Figured I better get comfortable. “Well, Twilight, Starie, Spike, and Sunset already know, but Santa Claus is a jolly fat guy with a white beard, and wears a red suit, red hat, and boots. On Christmas Eve, after everybody was asleep, he traveled through the sky on a slay, with the help of flying reindeer, and went to everybody’s house and left presents as they slept.”

Rarity’s, Applejack’s, Fluttershy’s, and Rainbow’s eyes widened.

“Hold on! Yer world has someone travelin’ around and givin’ y’all presents on Hear–I mean Christmas Eve?!”

“Your Christmas sounds better than our Hearth’s Warming!” Rainbow shouted. Can’t blame her for wanting to take a free gift if someone was giving ‘em out.

“Santa Claus must really care about you all,” Fluttershy said. 

“Ha, well maybe, if he actually existed. He’s just a myth to help little kids stay good. Kids were told Santa only gives coal to bad kids, but we eventually learn he isn’t real. Some of our toy stores even had someone dress up as Santa when Christmas got closer, and kids who still believed in him would line up to sit on his lap and tell him what they wanted for Christmas.”

Applejack rubbed her chin. “Kids never tried to stay up to meet Santa Claus? Apple Bloom sure would have.”

“Some did. In fact, I tried once. But parents did some things to maintain the illusion, such as wait until the kids eventually fall asleep while waiting and add more presents, then claim they were from ‘Santa’.” My lips further curled up, as memories of the time with my family – my (now-passed away) mom, dad, and two older sisters – back in my old world poured into my head. “My dad told me he took it further by dressing up as Santa, leaving a gift beside me and my sisters as we slept, and whispered ‘Merry Christmas’ to us before he snuck out our rooms.”

“Wait, ‘Merry Christmas’?” Rarity asked with a confused frown. “You don’t say ‘Happy Christmas’?”

I shook my head. “No, and I don’t know why. For most other holidays, we say ‘Happy’ and then whatever the holiday’s name is.”

Fluttershy asked, “Where did the idea for Santa come from?”

Usually, it was Twilight who piled on the questions about my former world, which that mare did a lot. This may be the only time when it wasn’t the Princess of Curiosity laying them on.

“He was based on someone who really existed, named ‘Saint Nicholas’ or ‘Saint Nick’ for short, but he didn’t fly around the world delivering presents every Christmas.”

Rarity looked over to Sunset, “Sunset, do the humans living on the other side of the portal have a Santa Claus too?”

Sunset nodded. “They do. I always thought the whole idea about him was a little silly, but it was kinda cute too.”

“I guess it is kinda silly, especially if you’re from a world with no Santa. Oh, Sunset, before I forget…” I pulled out some mistletoe from my pants pocket, and held it over my head. 

“You know what this is and what it means, right…?”

“Hee hee, I do.” Sunset strode to me and laid a big, slow, moist one on my cheek. I will never grow tired of my girlfriend’s kisses. She hopped on the couch, pulled the mistletoe from my hand with her magic, and held it over her, all while she lay beside me. Her large turquoise eyes practically begged for a kiss.

I didn’t have to be asked. I kissed Sunset on her cheek, then asked, “Now that we’re done, could you give my mistletoe to Spike?”

“Uh...sure.” Sunset floated it over to Spike.

“What’s that for?” Spike asked, staring at the mistletoe.

I rolled my eyes in Rarity’s direction.

“Ohhhh.” He grinned. He crept to Rarity, blushed, and held the mistletoe over his head. “Um, Rarity, if you wouldn’t mind, could you…um…”

It was adorable how bashful Spike acted. Rarity smiled and gave him a quick peck on his cheek. Ha, his pupils literally morphed into hearts during Rarity's kiss.

‘And that’s your extra gift. You’re welcome.’

That taken care of, I wrapped my arm around Sunset and began, “I may not say it all the time, but I’m truly grateful for all of you. One of Twilight’s and Starlight’s spells may let me talk to my family in my old world once a week, but it’s not the same as actually seeing them.” I took off my hat – Rarity had made it for me – and it has designs of Twilight’s, Starie’s, Pinkie’s, Rainbow’s, Fluttershy’s, Applejack’s, and Rarity’s Cutie Marks on it; Twilight’s and Starie’s were near the top, above the others’ Cutie Marks. I looked down at my green geode, hanging from a necklace, which Sunset got for me as our one-month anniversary gift. I almost always have my hat and geode on, and I think that green rock in particular went quite well with my white shirt and dark-blue pants. “However, I have all of you here. Thanks to you all, I almost feel like I belonged in Equestria all along.”

Everyone smiled, but Twilight’s smile felt to be the biggest and brightest of them, and she said, “I’m so glad to hear it. I still regret that even my magic can’t return you to your world, but at least we can make you happy here as your friends and Equestrian family. It would feel weird not having you around now.”

“I gotta agree with her,” Applejack said with a nod. “You’ll always be not just my friend, but an honorary Apple in my book.”

“Yep!” Rainbow pointed at herself and added, “We all got your flank–uh, back, just like you have ours.“

Everyone else all chimed in and agreed.

“And I’m glad Twilight and Starlight haven’t made you run away during their…episodes,” Spike joked with a sly grin toward Twilight.

“Yeah, yet,” I said with my own sly grin at Twi.

With that, we all laughed, even the two stress-prone “light” sisters. Don’t know if it was the holiday spirit, but I expected at least Twilight to groan or roll her eyes after Spike and I roasted her, instead of joining in the laughter. Then, everyone went on to sing a beautiful song about the joys of family, friends, and the spirit of Hearth’s Warming. You know, the sappy jazz...not that I minded some sap.

However, I did not attempt to join in their song.

After they were done, I gave them a round of applause. “Five stars! How do you all know the words to your songs without rehearsals?”

Twilight shrugged her shoulders. “We just sing what’s in our hearts. You don’t have to rehearse anything to do that.”

Pinkie winked toward me. “And someday, we will get you to sing along with us.”

“Ha, good luck with that! You wouldn’t want to anyway: my singing might destroy Ponyville.”

“Oh!” Twilight said with a gasp and turned to Rarity. “Rarity, can I have a moment with you?”

“Of course.”

Twilight and Rarity stepped out of the library. Yep. I could feel it. That royal sneak had cooked up some scheme in that head of hers.

And I had a hunch of what she was up to.