Octavia drew a bow across her cello slowly, and deliberately. Finely tuning her instrument for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. Every once in a while, her eyes fluttered open to peek out the window of her two-story home, scanning the sky for any sign of...him. She afforded a glance at an open scroll on her bedside table before quickly shutting her eyes and deciding to play some actual music. As a beautiful melody filled her room and spilled out onto the streets, she couldn't help but go over the contents of the letter.
Octavia,
It looks like I'll be heading to Ponyville after all. Since Princess Celestia absolutely refuses to revoke my lordship title, I am honor bound to assume other duties in addition to training you. I really don't understand her. I've been dead for over 3000 years; my lordship title shouldn't mean didley squat Twilight Sparkle has been an indispensable ally in negotiations with the Princess and it's thanks to her that arrangements for my assignment to Ponyville could be made. I'll spare you the details, just know that I should be arriving in Ponyville by noon tomorrow.
I can't wait to see you again.
Yours,
Lord Rocky Road
Octavia smiled slightly as a barely perceptible blush appeared on her cheeks. She was careful not to let it slip that she had started a relationship. Not to her friends, the flower sisters, not even to her BEST friend Vinyl Scratch. The only one who had any kind of inkling was Rose who, thankfully, only gave her a knowing smile and a wink.
Octavia thanked her lucky stars. If any one of her friends found out that Octavia, the cool and distant professional had a special somepony, she would never hear the end of it. Octavia decided that if she had to suffer her friends teasing, Rocky might as well be here to endure it with her. Speaking of Rocky, how did she want to welcome her new muse to Ponyville? The answer was easy. There was only ONE way a new pony could be welcomed into this crazy little town...
"Eat pie Mary Sue!"
*BOOM*
The bedroom shook slightly as the concussive blast from Pinkie's party cannon rocked Ponyville once more. Octavia didn't bother with her stairs. She leapt out of her second story bedroom and landed with poise on her neatly trimmed lawn before making her way downtown at a brisk trot.
----
Rocky Road held Twilight Sparkle and Mayor Mare securely, one under each foreleg. He held onto the ceiling beams that ran across the ceiling of the lobby with his rear legs, dangling like a chandelier. The lobby itself was covered in pie. Blackberry Pie, Raspberry Pie, Apple Pie and others pies that Rocky could not identify, had smeared the lobby with impunity. Twilight teleported out of Rocky's grip and appeared in front of Pinkie displacing a decent amount of baked goodness to splash along the walls, adding to the carnage.
"PINKIE!" Twilight yelled in frustration. "WHY?!"
"You know why silly." Pinkie giggled, before looking past Twilight at Rocky who had gently placed Mayor Mare down on a relatively dry filing cabinet. When they made eye contact, Pinkie grinned manically. Rocky recoiled at first but then stopped. Moving forward in wonder, and concern.
"How are you doing that?" He asked ignoring the ruined pies under his hoof. His tone was even, but Twilight sensed something there that unnerved her. Though she couldn't quite place her hoof on it.
"Doing what?" Pinkie replied with all the innocence of a child who knew EXACTLY what.
Rocky didn't answer and instead took another step forward. Pinkie rocked on her hooves once before disappearing in a pink blur. Twilight Sparkle looked around for her friend before Pinkie reappeared in the exact same spot carrying several trays of cupcakes. Pinkie smiled deviously.
"I notice you aren't a pie fan. Care for some CUPCAKES?"
She launched a cupcake at Rocky and laughed like a mad god. Rocky bolted, quickly dodging the first few volleys before diving out an open window past a now growing crowd of ponies and onto the street, a laughing Pinkie hot on his trail. The crowd laughed and cheered as Pinkie chased the newcomer all over the rooftops of Ponyville. While Rocky's flips and dives were impressive enough to earn cheers from the crowd, the majority of ponies started taking bets on how long their new Lord Protector would remain un-caked. This duel of fates lasted for several minutes all the while the whole town seemed to have gathered in the town square. A proper welcome party was starting to take shape.
Twilight Sparkle nursed a growing headache as she watched Pinkie and Rocky's impossible duel taking place on the rooftops. Rocky squeezed down a chimney. Pinkie followed suit. Then, impossibly, the two would exit from two different chimneys on opposite sides of the square. Pinkie would realize her mistake appear in a chimney much closer to Rocky and resume the chase. Several more impossible events occurred before Twilight released a deep sigh. She turned towards Mayor Mare who was busy shoveling pie crust from her office and shrugged. Mayor Mare rolled her eyes muttering something about good reflexes and went back to shoveling pie.
"Good afternoon Twilight Sparkle"
Twilight recognized the voice immediately.
"Oh! Octavia. Good afternoon." She said managing a welcoming smile as Octavia joined her to watch the spectacle. Octavia's eyes traced Rocky's movements just as he used a loose shingle to block an incoming cupcake to the face before bounding onto the street and out of sight. Pinkie, impressively, did a jump-twist-spin combo before hanging in the air, saluting, then dropping like a rock into the alley below.
"I see Ponyville has decided to give Rock it's traditional Royal Welcome."
"mmmhmmm" Was Twilight's only reply.
Octavia absentmindedly picked up a relatively unscathed cupcake from a nearby bench and took a bite.
Mmmm...Vanilla. My favorite.
---
"This is impossible." Rocky muttered as he dodged yet another cupcake thrown at him from seemingly out of nowhere.
"This is crazy."
Rocky made his way back to the town square just as Pinkie ran out of cupcakes. He assumed a striking stance as Pinkie caught up with him. She dropped her tray. Reached into her mane and pulled out yet another tray with an even bigger pile of cupcakes. Rocky decided that he had had enough. He had to know.
"You have to stop this now!" He exclaimed. "The Chaos Gate will consume you!"
Pinkie laughed. "What you call chaos, I call fun!" Pinkie launched a cupcake at him. Rocky batted it away with a hoof strike.
"Fun or not, the amount of energy required to constantly access the Chaos Gate is...Ludicrous. How are you not a pile of ash right now? How do you sustain it?"
Rocky's frantic questions were beginning to attract the attention of the crowd as they gathered around both of them forming a makeshift dueling ring. Pinkie looked at him as if Rocky just asked the dumbest question with the most obvious answer in the world.
"With Sugar. DUH!"
Rocky's eyes widened as Pinkie launched the entire contents of her tray at him all at once.
First gate of Resonance. Time slowed.
The shotgun blast of cupcakes was not natural. Rocky knew this. He felt the energy of Chaos blanket each individual confectionary. There was only way he could end this. Rocky bobbed and weaved through the first several cupcakes, they seemed to turn, attracted to him like a magnet. Rocky batted another one he could not avoid, disrupting the chaos energy with a small jab of harmonious energy from his forehoof. The cupcake dropped like a rock and splattered onto the cobblestone below. Rocky jumped and spun parallel to the ground throwing as much harmonic energy around as he dared, throwing the heat seeking cupcakes out of whack, just enough time to leave him an opening.
Pinkie Pie's eyes widened as she took a step back and reached into her mane pulling out a much bigger cupcake with a lit sparkling candle on top. Rocky was closer now, and he clenched down on his jaw in determination. Pinkie pulled a strange ring and pin from within the cupcakes frosting with her mouth and a strange green handle dropped out from the bottom of the cupcake. Rocky was close now. He didn't give a battle cry, He simply reached out to Pinkie, Rocky battled the invisible chaotic forces that dragged on his hoof. Finally, he reached for her nose.
*Boop*
Time resumed its normal pace. There was a small fizzle and pop as the Harmonious and Chaotic energies cancelled each other out. Pinkie's hair deflated just as the cupcake in her hooves detonated spraying the both of them and all ponies close enough with bits of vanilla frosting. All of Ponyville cheered and applauded with their hooves. Several whistled and popped party streamers on the two duelists.
"Wow! Didn't know you could do that! You really are OP." Pinkie laughed taking her now flat mane in her hands and examining it with awe. Rocky panted and lay on his back, legs folded on his stomach, miraculously still frosting and cupcake free.
"I have..." Rocky heaved. "No idea..." He heaved again. "What you're talking about."
A shadow came upon him. Rocky smiled as he recognized that unique emotional signature standing over him. "Octavia. Thank goodness it's you."
"Hello my lord dummkopf. Enjoying yourself?" Rocky's response got caught in his throat as he noticed the look on Octavia's face. She was covered in vanilla frosting, and smiling, menacingly. She was holding a cupcake in her hooves. Another shadow came, then another. Flash. Twilight. Mayor Mare all had cupcakes, along with the rest of the town. They were all eyeing him mischievously. His gaze lingered on flash who shrugged.
"If you can't beat them. Join them."
Rocky sighed in defeat and grinned as he accepted his fate. It took Rocky until sunset to remove all the frosting from his coat and mane.