//------------------------------// // I hate pirates // Story: The Unstoppable Moron // by aegishailstorm //------------------------------// William poked his head out from behind a crate, and scanned the deck. From his current vantage point he could see that it was entirely by anthropomorphic birds, all bearing the insignia of the storm king, he switched over to a silenced mp5. "Alright, you 8 stay here, I'll hit 'em with a flash bang and then tag them while they're stunned." He whispered to them. 'Why would you want to play tag with-" Rainbow was cut off whet the group heard rumbling above them. They looked up to see one of the crew members, staring them down. "Hey guy's, come check this-" William wrapped his arm firmly around the bird's neck and put a Bowie knife up against it's neck. The all of the remaining crew members came rushing to see what had happened. "One more step foward and I slit your friends throat, ok?" They looked at William for a moment. Finally, one stepped foward. "IS THAT ####ING UNDERSTOOD!?" They noded. "My name is Captain Claeno, mind telling me what your doing on my ship?"WIlliam scoffed. "Here's what's going to happen, I'm going to release your friend here, on the condition that you and your crew get us to Mount Airs, in one piece!" "Captain?" One of the crew asked nerviously. "The book says...no prisoners." They looked back at William, who still had his knife hovering over thier crewmate's neck. "Oh ####, I've read my fair share of Tom Clancy novels, and this never ends well, I'm warning you all, don't try anything." "What now?" One of them asked. "Ummm..." A whistle rang out. "Alright, that's lunch!" The one who had identified herself as 'Captain Celaeno' shouted out. "Don't think you'll be getting away with that!" "No seriously, I'm hungry." The one he was holding captive said to him. "Fine, I'm going to let go now, you try anything, anything at all, and I will air out this whole deck, got that?" His captive guppled, and nodded in affirmation, William let go of him, sliding his knife back into a sheath on his belt, he trained his submachine gun on the leader's head. "Now, eat." They sat down around a table, and began to eat... well, they were eating something, to William it looked like mud." "What, are you so sick of flying that you've resorted to eating mud!?" He snorted out. "Storm king only allows one break per day, and this is all we've got to eat, then it's back to hauling merchandise." "Wait, so you're all delivery guy's?" Spike asked. "And gals, these uniform's aren't exactly doing us any favor's." "That doesn't mean you aren't dangerous, can you get us to mount Aris or not?" "Sorry, we do what the storm king orders, or we suffer his wrath." William began laughing. "What wrath?! You mean his horrible villainous bantering? Oh please, y'all don't know the true meaning, of 'evil." They looked at him with blank stare's. "Still trying to go out in a blaze of glory, eh?" William's laughing stopped. "It's nothing personal." "You guy's weren't always delivery birds, what about before the storm king?" Rainbow asked them. "Yeah, we used to be much more adventurous." Celeano pulled back the storm king's banner hanging above the table, revealing a skull and crossbones. "Oh wow, it's even worse, you're all stereotypical pirates." The rest of them, except for Joey, gasped in amazement. "We prefer the term,' Swash buckling treasure hunters." "How about terrorists?" William asked. Rainbow Dash got out of her seat. "Well, you birds have a choice to make, you can let some cloven hooved Storm king tell you how to live your lives, or you can be awesome again!" She got up on the table. "No singing!" William jumped out of his spot, and pulled Rainbow back into her seat. "After a week of hiking across Equestia, I think I've put up with enough of your singing, that goes for all of you!" He looked off into the distance. "Oh look, the Storm king's forces found us!" He turned to the nearest bird. "Make for Mount Aris!" He shouted out. "Well, do what he said!" Celeano repeated to her crew, they did as they we told. "Prepare to be boarded!" "Hold on!" A Stinger guided anti aircraft missile appeared in William's hands. "No one stand behind me!" He shouldered the launcher, and took aim at the fast approaching. By the time he had an adequate target lock, the vessel had already hooked onto the ship. and began to reel them in. "####, Joey, hide!" William ducked behind a barrel, and took aim with his mp5, looking though it's EOTech sight. He watched as Tempest Shadow and her lackey, stepped off the platform, flanked by 2 storm beasts. "Where is the pony princess?" She asked. "Princess... hmm... nope, all we're hauling is storm king merchandise." Celeano replied, in an attempt to play dumb. "You do realize that if you were harboring fugitive's, the storm king would be quite... explosive about it?" Celeano eyed William, who was hiding only a few yards away, weapon trained on one of the storm beast's heads. "We have to get of this ship before they tell them we're here. "Twilight said to her nervous friends. "Hey, don't worry as long as William's up there, it's a fair fight." Joey reassured them. Twilights gaze shifted to something in the corner. An idea began to form in her head. "I've got this." "Three..." Tempest began to count down, William knew exactly what she was intending, he pulled the trigger, sending a 3 round burst of 9mm hollow point rounds into the first storm beast's head, it dropped to the floor, dead. William stepped out of his hidding spot, and before it could react, he ended the second one just as quickly. "Hello there, I don't suppose you'd let us go in peace?" He asked. "Huh?" William noticed that Tempest was instead focused on the trap door leading to the ships interior, there was a scream, and they swung open. Revealing empty sky below. William walked to the edge, and peered over. Far below, he could see the vague shape of a hot air balloon, floating away. "Oi, you idiots know I can't fly! Come back!" "Hey, could you all hold it for a moment, we left William behind!" Joey jumped out, extending his wings, he flew back up to the airship. "None of you move! You try anything, and I end you right here!" William shouted at Tempest. "William, I'm back!" He turned to see Joey, hovering just off the deck." "Oh goodie, and pray tell, how are you going to get me down there, I don't suppose you've perfected that levation of yours?" "Another alicorn!" Tempest looked up in disbelief. "Well, my train of thought didn't exactly get that far, aright, I was a little to focused on saving your sorry flank!" He called back down to William." I don't suppose you'd be willing to use that wingsuit again?" "Gah! Alright!" He looked back to see Tempest rushing towards him, he kicked her aside again, and fired another burst of 9mm in her direction, 2 of the rounds caught Grubber in the stomach, he fell to the floor, screaming in pain. "I'll be back Tempest!" He swapped to the wingsuit for what would hopefully be the last time in his life, and, with a running start, jumped off the deck, extending his arm's, he looked over to find his friend flying beside him. "What did I tell you? It's not that bad!' Joey called out. "Easy for you to say, you've got actual wing's!!! Now, get me to that balloon!" As William approached it, Joey grabbed him, helping him the rest of the way, even so, it wasn't so much a landing so much a painful crash. Almost knocking Rainbow off balance. "See, what did I tell you, flying's not so bad!" "Easy for you to say Joey." William grumbled to himself. Swapping over to his normal fatiges. He looked back to see the a series of bright explosions splash out over the airship. "Eh, I didn't much like 'em either." Joey said to him.