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// Pinkie Pie Spreads Love and Tolerance To Neighsay 
// Story: Do Ponies Like Me? Or Am I Just Lucky? 
// by redandready45 
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Chancellor Neighsay sat reviewing the applications for Canterlot University. As the head of Equestrian Educational Administration, it was his job to ensure only the best and brightest could enjoy higher education.

But he also had a more discreet duty that few ponies were aware of: ensuring that only creatures of a particular "disposition" could be allowed to enter, as well as the proper class and background, all to ensure that Equestria remained a harmonious and balanced society. He fastidiously looked through all the applicants, marking all rejections with a quill dipped in red ink. 

"HEY!" The white unicorn looked up and saw a pink Earth pony glaring at him with light blue eyes.

Chancellor Neighsay, seeing that the pony looked familiar, regarded the intruder defensively, not wanting ponies to see his work. "How did you get in here?" He hadn't noticed any hoof-steps, and the door itself wasn't even open. "If you wish to meet with me," he said, while covertly slipping his rejection letters inside a drawer, "you must make an appointment like everypony-"

"Apologize!" The intruder screeched. 

Neighsay was even more confused. "Apologize for what?"

The pony pointed at him in an accusatory manner. "Apologize for being a big mean, meany pants to Starlight Glimmer!" 

Neighsay's eyes narrowed in confusion. "Who-," Neighsay paused, but then his eyes widened in remembrance. "Oh, the Madmare of Equality." A contemptuous gaze came upon Neighsay as he recollected that thorn in his flank.

The pink mare became even more incensed. "It's your fault Starlight became an evil meany who tried to take over Equestria!"

The bearded stallion's gaze became harder. "I did not force that mare into villainy. Glimmer's horrible actions are her own doing. Or do you think she is too feeble to accept responsibility for her actions?"

The pink mare's glare faltered for a bit. "Well," Pinkie's eyes darted back and forth. "Yeah. I guess." The pony's hardened gaze returned. "But you were still mean to her. Now say your sorry!"

"I did nothing wrong," Neighsay said with utter calmness and certainty that it raised the pink pony's temper even higher. "Ms. Glimmer was a disobedient student who always misbehaved. Her little spectacle is clearly why those of common background should pursue careers more suiting of their status." A sneer formed on the administrator's face. "Her little outburst is proof that I was not hard enough on the brat. A decent society would've been locked her in Tartarus like Equestria's worst criminals." It annoyed the middle-aged unicorn how soft the Princesses were on miscreants. 

The mare was deeply offended by Neighsay's words. "Princess Luna was an evil Queen Meany who tried to destroy the sun. Should she have been locked up in Tartarus?!"

Neighsay glared at the pony. "Princess Luna is an alicorn of high-breeding and heritage. Ms. Glimmer is a young strumpet who sought to disrupt the social order."

The pink mare's expression became one of desperation and pleading. "Starlight said sorry for the mean things she did. Princess Luna said sorry." She put on puppy dog eyes and started weeping. "Why can't you be a nice pony and say sorry?"

Having dealt with cheeky foals, Heighsay was immune to such histrionics. "I have done nothing but preserve Harmony by ensuring that the common ponies remain in their station. Harmony is a concept a pony such as yourself doesn't understand." The mare's lips pursed angrily at his use of the word "Harmony." "Now I've had enough of this...dispute." He pointed with his hoof toward the door. "Now, I must ask you to observe the door and step right through it, or I will have you removed for trespassing and making a scene." 

The mare gave a cold expression before smiling at him oddly. "Don't worry, Mr. Neighsay," the pink pony chirped while removing her saddlebags. "I won't get angry." She started emptying the bag. "I have somebody else to do that for me."

"What are you-," Neighsay paused in amazement as several massive objects fell out of the bag: talon guards, a boulder bigger than the bag itself, and most astonishingly, a grey Earth pony mare and a griffin. "How did you fit all of that into a bag?"

"Pinkie, you dweeb!" The griffin yelled in anger. "You need to clean the bag! It stank in there!"

"No, that was you, Ms. I-Don't-Clean-My-Feathers!" The grey mare yelled in annoyance.

The griffin immediately got into the pony's face. "I told you, I need a special soap for my feathers, you rock head!"

The grey mare's face got even more threatening. "Why don't we step outside. I'll give you a good scrub!" The fight ended with a polite cough from the pink mare. The pony and griffin remembered their goals and turned back to glare at the white stallion.

Neighsay was spooked by the glare of a griffin, remembering the stories he learned about their innate barbarity. "A foul beast come to devour my flesh!" Neighsay attempted to break the exit, only to be blocked by the gray mare. 

"Sorry, teach," the mare said with a nasty look. "We have to...talk. Of course, you can try and get through me if you want?" The grey Earth pony gave him a silent challenge with her green eyes, but Neighsay realized it would be hazardous to his health. Based on her pose and build, the mare looked quite formidable, and his combat magic was lacking. Neighsay imagined it would be like going through a brick wall.

"Professor Meany Pants, meet Gilda and my sister Limestone. Gilda and Limestone, this was the meany-weany pants I was telling you about."

"So you're the pathetic piece of roadkill?" The griffin said, looking at the stallion like he was an insect. 

"Pathetic? I have three degrees!" Neighsay said defensively.

The griffin gave him a scornful smile through her beak. "You know I'm not really into that Love and Tolerance junk, but you ponies are supposed to be living up to that." Gilda's glare hardened. "If there's anything I don't like, and that's a lot of things, it's a lying hypocrite."

The grey-colored mare also glared at the educator. "What I don't like is pretentious snobs who look down on ponies like me; hard-working mares who bust their flanks on a rock farm fifty hours a week so ponies like you can live large."

Neighsay's anxiety grew. "What is your business?"

"Our business is nailing you for the classist creep you are," Gilda snarled. "And then nailing you, you know, physically." A brief pause ensued. "We're gonna beat you up."

Neighsay's sneer returned. "Oh really. Who are you going to tell? It's your word against mine." The smiles of the two Earth ponies and the griffin widened. 

"No, it's your word against the Element of Laughter." Limestone sneered. Neighsay's eyes widened as he realized why the pink mare was so familiar. The rock farmer chuckled mockingly while the griffin and the other. "You didn't know my little sis was an Elemental Bearer," Lime said, a small amount of pride and joy for her younger sibling entering my voice. "For a teacher, you act like you've got nothing but granite for brains." She snickered some more. "You even said you know more about harmony than her."

Neighsay felt cold sweat run down his muzzle. "Elemental Bearer!"

"Aside from Ponko The Lame here being a famous hero with tons of credibility," Gilda said with a bit of pride in her voice," her rank affords her the powers of law enforcement, meaning 'you're doomed."

Neighsay was gritting his teeth in a rage. "Under what-,"

"Section 274 of Equestria's Criminal Code prohibits discrimination based on class and creature In all public fields," Limestone Pie said, reciting the Criminal Code by heart. Neighsay was stunned. "What, you thought I was just some dumb dirt pony?" She snorted. "I did have to take business and law courses, so I can help Ma and Pa run their rock farm."

"And if nopony believes me," Pinkie smiled, pulling out some rectangular object from out of nowhere.

Neighsay was confused. "What is-," Pinkie pushed a button on the device, playing back Neighsay's voice. Including the classist and racist statements, he made to Pinkie. Neighsay's face turned pale with fear. "What," he stammered, "is that-,"

"Tape recorder!" Pinkie Pie chirped. "It was invented...someplace far away." Her expression became shifty.

"Also," Limestone said, holding up the rejection letters which she was able to acquire from his desk without him noticing, "there is an obvious racial and class bias that the nature of your letters can determine. Since I'm acting on behalf of a Bearer, it means that I can collect these documents as evidence."

"And as a Bearer with law enforcement powers," Pinkie said, taking the letters and stuffing them into her mane, "I can reveal to Princess Celestia herself," Neighsay said nothing, staring dumbly at the wall, knowing his professional career was about to collapse.

"Not to mention you called me a foul beast for being a griffin, which is discriminatory," Gilda said, sounding more amused than annoyed. "I mean, I am a foul beast, but not because I'm a griffin."

Limestone rolled her eyes. "It's because you don't shower," Gilda gave a side-eye to Limestone before turning back to glare at the soon-to-be-redlined prosecuted administrator. "Anyways, we're going to leave-,'

"OK, leave," Neighsay muttered in a broken voice. 

"OK," Pinkie chirped before giving the bearded pony a cold smile. "But first...Limey-Wimey and Gilda-Wilda-,"

"I told you not to call me that!" Gilda groaned. Limestone gave the irate griffin a silent look, showing she was also annoyed with her younger sister's antics.

"-want to teach you some Love and Tolerance." The voice was kind, but the pink mare's blue eyes were icy and merciless. 

"Here's Love!" Limestone said, picking up the massive boulder with a cruel grin.

"Here's Tolerance!" Gilda said, putting on her talon guards and waving them menacingly at the white unicorn. 

Neighsay's face contorted in terror. "I'll scream and tell everypony to your plans to assault me."

Pinkie smirked. "Well, it's a good thing we planned this during break time where there's nopony around to hear you." Neighsay again paled, realizing he had been played from the beginning.

"Besides," Limestone Pie chirped with a smug smile, "who would ever believe the sweet Element of Laughter was capable of hurting anypony? Some racist snob?" Neighsay began shaking, realizing his back was to the wall. 

"Wait!" Neighsay screeched desperately to the pink mare, hoping for some mercy, "I thought you believed in friendship?" Neighsay hoped appealing to friendship could get the pink mare to give him mercy, but her nasty smile proved she wasn't fooled for a minute. 

"Of course we do!" Limestone said nastily. "Gilda and I decided to share! I get to break your legs, and she gets to break your skull!"

"Where have you been all my life?" Gilda asked Limestone.

"On a bleak rock farm in the middle of nowhere. You?"

"Struggling to survive in a desolate town full of greedy jerks where you literally have to pay attention." The rock farmer and the griffin intensely gazed at each other for a moment.

"Want to grab a hay smoothie later?" Limestone said.

"Sure," Gilda said. "But after we deal with Professor Lame-O!" The rock farmer and griffin closed in on the quaking administrator and proceeded to punish him severely, even as he screamed for mercy.

Pinkie Pie would never forget his cries of agony. They were the cries of friendship.

"MY LEGS!"

And broken bones.