//------------------------------//
// Chart a course 
// Story: The Anti-Friendship Lesson 
// by Ezekiel Namuh 
//------------------------------//

'What is the rational thing to do when I, a pessimistic, neurotic, and, fairly, mentally unstable human in the body of a pony, am launched into a world of optimistic, social, happy-go-lucky ponies, assuming I'm in the canon universe?

Did I ever even say I was rational? Another for the list, then.

What do I have at my disposal? Shouldn't someone here have something more useful than a toque? Like weapons, their original form, or at least some connection to somepony on this side?

Then again, why would I be here specifically? Why not a military cadet or a royal scientist? That'd be more interesting than some kid that's the polar opposite of pretty much everypony here.'

In the end I deducted that a toque and knowledge of another universe is going to get me nothing but a few bits and a stalker who's as crazy as they think I am after hearing about "Earth" and "humans."

Wait, what would I actually be able to do in this place. Let's see here.


Otherworldly knowledge  +  social skills equivalent to a piece of burnt toast  +  strange actions

=

Loony bin


Not a particularly welcomed ending. As I'm not in that place yet I'll just get moving.

Trying to ignore the deformed trees and disembodied sounds I kept moving. I wouldn't have stopped I my luck hadn't chosen to stop for me.

SPLASH

'Great, water.' I would've been more thankful if I hadn't found it via faceplant. It's probably necessary here, though. "I'm not thirsty..."

I trailed off as I realized this water was actually really reflective. And in that reflection was me, open mouth and all.

As I would have explained to someone, just a completely white version of Pinkie Pie, with a subtle difference. My eyes.

Man, they made me look like whoever designed me really wanted me to stand out. They were mostly cyan with a strange bottom part. A shade of purple rested on the bottom of my irises, almost like bags on the inside of my eyes. The pupils had no catchlights, which was pretty off-putting. And on the outside were a pair of pronounced eyelashes.

Now that I look at it, I have the female body type. "Great. Not only am I a pony, but a transgender one too. My voice didn't get higher at least. I get it, it's because I'm weak, isn't it? Not trying to sound sexist or anything, but..."

'Weak...' That triggered something. I could barely lift my toque out of the bush, yet it was barely stuck in there. I turned to look at a rock about twice the size of my hoof. Moving to pick it up I thought out loud, "Please tell me-"

It barely budged.

CLOP "GREAT."

Now there's a whole new factor to deal with. And I'm an earth pony! Aren't we supposed to be strong? Isn't that their only redeeming quality over the other types? It certainly throws a wrench in any previous plans.

"*Sigh* I'll deal with this later." Looking around, I saw the water I accidentally drank came from a river. There's really no reason I can think of that suggests any other route would be better. Might as well follow it and see where it could lead.

I tried to get a feel for my surroundings by looking around and regretted it fairly quickly. These forest backdrops were always pretty unsettling actually- "Oof!"

What did I just trip over?

"Hey!"

"GIH!"

Hearing something other than my own voice, hoofsteps, or the river sent chills through my spine so fast I must have shot two meters in the air before landing. I slowly turned around, visibly shivering, looking to see what, or who, I tripped on.

Behind me I saw two small figures. One was completely greyish-silver with a near-white mane and glasses, while the other, the one I had tripped over was pink with a mane consisting of purple and white. Both looked too short for fillies though, but I couldn't tell why. Maybe the perception of size changes when you involuntarily jump universes. The silver one looked a mix of shocked and agitated. Gee, I can't even begin to imagine why.

"What the tartarus is your problem?" The pink "precious little filly" hissed, pulling her muzzle out of the dirt.

Just beginning to realize who I upset, I stammered out, "I...I..."

"Who are you anyway? I've never seen you around here before," Silver Spoon asked me.

"Nobody. Why are you here?" I quickly asked, trying to get the two's focus off of me.

"We don't need to tell you, miss 'Nobody'. Your name is as weird as you are," Diamond Tiara responded.

'If she didn't misinterpret that as my name I would be toast. I need to get away from these two.' That was easier thought than done, as they were circling me now for some reason. This was getting more uncomfortable by the second.

"It looks like that party pony, but the freak doesn't sound like her," Silver Spoon whispered.

"So Nobody, in your words, 'Why are you here? *Giggle*" Diamond Tiara said while stopping. I slowly started to prepare myself to bolt.





"Yeah." Silver spoon responded coming to a rest next to me, as I turned away to laugh. As she said this, she realized the offending pony's stature was that of getting ready to run.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going, weirdo?" Silver Spoon asked, causing the mare's face to transition from focus to surprise.

"Good catch Silver Spoon, how did you know he was starting to run?"

"Years of psychologically bullying my inferiors really brought out my awareness," Silver Spoon replied.

"Did it ever bring out your irony?" Her distant voice asked.

"Why would it have-" Silver Spoon started, before being cut off by the sudden realization of 'Nobody's' absence.

"Great job, Silver."





I saw my opportunity and took it, dashing away from the two fillies back into the Everfree.

'Well, that went pear-shaped fast. I was expecting something else there. Less awareness and more name-calling. Maybe they were too distracted to call me "blank-flank" fifty times over. Or maybe...

How could I not have thought about this before? This is one of the first things to know about ponies. How could I not have looked back there for it?'

I looked back and saw exactly what I expected. A Cutie Mark. As to what it depicted, I would not have guessed.

It was a horseshoe, angled upside-down and snapped in half, surrounded by what looked like some kind of lens, maybe the kind you'd see on a camera, a circle with some light reflecting off the top right of the inside.


(The horseshoe)


"Okay... not entirely sure what to think of that." 

My best guess for the horseshoe was my infamous luck back home, and the optic lens probably referred to the one thing I was good at there, avoiding things. That or the whole TV show problem I have right now.

"Well, at least I have some idea- OW," I slammed into a dark brown dome. I looked around, observing everything about the place, from the interesting shape to the more interesting colored masks. It didn't register in my mind where I was, because I hadn't seen the place before, nor the figure that came from within. A fairly pony-like animal, somewhat resembling a zebra. A mix between that and a stereotypical Indian, explaining the masks and gold bracelets(?) they wore around their neck.

I stepped back, and accidentally stepped in a bush. Their head jolted towards the vines I was behind.

'Oh, shoot.'

They moved towards me. I moved back.

"Do not be alarmed, pony with words of few. I promise that I will not hurt you."

'How did they know I was a pony? Did they see me? I believe her, I'm just more worried about them accidentally hurting me, what with how weak I am here. Either that or my social skills strike again and you try to kill me, zebra I don't know.'

I took a few steps left, they followed. I go to my right, they go to their left. The two parts of my Cutie Mark, constantly counteracting each other. Which would win out in the end?

'Could they see me? How else would they be following me other than sheer dumb luck?'

In an act of pure desperation, I scooped up a pebble, threw it, and ran in the opposite direction as fast as I could, though I collapsed after ten seconds. It seemed to be sufficient enough, as I could no longer hear whoever was back there.

'Phew,' I thought to myself, running my hoof through my mane.

It didn't make the trip.

Eyes widening, I pulled my hoof out from halfway through my mane. I tried putting my hoof back in, and there was still something in there. A cone-shaped object was jutting out of my forehead.

"Oh, that might explain a few things. I need to see this for myself before I can be sure." I shot back to the river I was following, making sure to go behind those two fillies' path.

Once I found the river, I looked back to my reflection for a reinspection. Focusing on my mane, I noticed not only was it slightly smaller than I figured it should've been, but a small section of horn jutted out from its front.

'Now that gives me an idea.' I moved my forehooves against the bottom of my mane. Now not only was it shaped to look the exact same as the real Pinkie's, but it also concealed my horn.

"There we go." I was quite proud of thinking that up. Now if I ever got in a skirmish and I worked on my magic, this would hide my abilities.

With no reason to stay any longer, I made my way through the Everfree. I heard several rather strange noises, almost like an animal. 'Let's just steer clear of that for now.'

Turning right and away from the river, I made a decent amount of distance. I was still getting used to moving around as a quadruped, before I came across the edge of what looked like a different kind of forest. Although this specific kind of tree reminds me of something.

As I looked around I noted every individual thing I saw. 'I think I know where I am now...

Hello, Sweet Apple Acres.'