//------------------------------//
// Mt. Crumpet 
// Story: Cinematic Adventures: How the Grinch Stole Christmas 
// by extremeenigma02 
//------------------------------//

Later that same evening, following a series of strange events at the post office, Lou, Cindy, and the Equestrians return to Lou Who’s house. Shortly after Lou pulled the car into the driveway, everyone stepped out and each of them lent a hand (Or hoof) in carrying the gifts. As Lou picked up the gifts, he looked toward the house.

“No lights on in the house,” He observed. “Your mom must be shopping.”

All of a sudden, the lights come on so bright the group nearly went blind. A woman in a striped robe appeared on the roof. This was Betty Lou Who, Lou’s wife and Cindy’s mother.

“Oh good! I’m so glad you’re home!” She called out. “Oh, I can feel it Lou. This is the year when ‘every’ Who asked, ‘Who has the greatest light in all of greater Whoville?’. They’re going to cry out Mrs. Betty Lou Who!”

Lou could tell Betty was really in the spirit, judging by the pile of other lights and picked one up.

“Isn’t this the chandelier from the Dining room?!” He asked.

“It’s all for the cause dear!” Betty responded.

It was then Betty turned toward a group of ponies (And Spike) standing below the house. They all gazed toward her curiously.

“Ooh! Are these new friends of yours Cindy?” Betty asked her daughter.

“Sure are mom!” Cindy nodded.

“It’s very lovely to meet you, Mrs. Lou Who!” Twilight called up.

“Oh sweetie, please! Call me Betty.”

“My, oh my! You certainly have a lovely house Ms. Betty!” Rarity complimented. “I love what you’re doing with your lights. Makes the house quite festive indeed.”

Hearing such compliments over her lights was certainly enough high praise for Betty. Of course she tried to act as though it were no big deal at all.

“Why thank you so much dear!” Betty responded. “What brings you all to Whoville?”

“Well, that’s the thing honey!” Lou called up. “They are kind of stuck here while they’re searching for a missing friend of theirs…”

“Not a friend…!” Rainbow corrected.

“… I offered them to stay with us until they find her,” Lou continued. “I hope that’ll be alright.”

“Of course it is!” Betty nodded. “You’re all free to stay as long as you’d like.”

“Mighty kind of ya Betty!” Applejack thanked.

“Would you by any chance require some assistance with your lights?” Starlight offered.

“Oh, I do love decorating for the holidays!” Rarity replied. “I’m quite good at this sort of thing.”

“And perhaps I can help too!” Fluttershy added.

“Well, I certainly am not one to turn down help,” Betty smiled. “Come on up and I’ll show you what I need help with. Oh, and Cindy! Can you or your friends be mommy’s little helpers and unscrew the bulb from the refrigerator? Somehow I missed that one.”

“Okie-dokie-lokie Ms. Betty ma’am!” Pinkie said excitedly. “We’ll get that bulb and any other lights you forgot! No bulbs go unnoticed when Pinkie’s on the job!”

*DING!*

A light bulb appears over Pinkie’s head, which she looks up and takes from out of the air. Cindy and the others looked toward Lou, who merely gestured them to go on. With a shrug, she makes her way inside with the others (Minus Rarity and Fluttershy).

“Your mom certainly seems pretty cool with us staying here,” Starlight pointed out.

“She’s just focused on winning the Christmas light contest,” Cindy replied.

“Does she usually go so far as to turn out every light in the house just to win?” Spike asked.

“Actually… she can be a lot worse sometimes,” Cindy sighed.

“Wow, that’s right on the border between dedicated and cuckoo crazy!” Rainbow chuckled.

“Like you ain’t never done somethin’ so crazy tah win nothing?” Applejack scoffed.

<>

Meanwhile…

Back on the roof, Fluttershy and Rarity did their best to help betty with the Christmas lights. The task proved quite difficult seeing as how Better acquired so many strands of lights that it was tricky just to maneuver properly. In fact, Fluttershy could hardly take a single step without tripping over a strand or two.

“Oh my! Why must you have so many lights Mrs. Lou Who?” Fluttershy asked.

“Please call me Betty dear,” Betty replied. “The reason is because every year our neighbor, Martha-May Whovier, always has the best lights.”

“Judging by the tone of your voice seems you’re tired of her getting all the glory,” Rarity guessed. “Ergo, you’re looking to finally shine as bright as these lights?”

“You can say that again,” Betty replied, sorting the lights. “This year I am going to beat that prim, prissy, little…”

“Betty!”

Betty and the two ponies all gasped toward the sudden voice. Turning over, they saw Lou Who’s neighbor, Martha-May Whovier, standing in front of her house waving toward Betty.

“Hi!” She greeted.

“Martha!” Betty gasped.

“My, I’ve never seen so many beautiful Christmas lights, Betty Lou.”

“Well, I’d blow every bulb to try and keep up with you Martha-May.”

“You can clearly tell those two are trying to keep their rivalry civil,” Rarity whispered to Fluttershy.

Then Martha pulled out some old-looking glass chime.

“Isn’t this antique darling?” Martha asked, smugly. “It’s hand crafted and almost a hundred years old.”

“I must admit that’s quite a charming piece indeed,” Rarity nodded. “I give her credit for having exquisite taste in antiquities.”

“How nice!” Betty muttered sarcastically. “I’m really impressed.”

“This, however, is new!” Martha continued.

Martha then pull a large sheet off some weird-looking device, which appeared to have lights attached to it. Turning it on, Martha proceeds to fire Christmas lights and hung them along the house. Betty was in shock seeing the light-hanging gun at work, so amazed by this she started leaning toward the edge with the lights in her clutches. Lou, spotting this, called out to his wife.

“Whoa, whoa! Hey Betty! Betty sweetie!”

Fluttershy flew in front of Betty and held her steady while Rarity grabbed the back of her robe with her teeth.

“Oh Betty, please snap out of it!” Fluttershy pleaded.

“This is very difficult as it is!” Rarity muttered, through her teeth.

Betty gave no response whatsoever, still in shock that she tipped over the edge near frozen. Eventually, Martha completely put an end to the workings of her device and turned it off blowing smoke away.

“Well goodnight Betty!” Martha-May called out.

And to which both Betty and the ponies waved goodnight, albeit feebly.

<>

Later that evening…

*RING! RING!*

The telephone rang loudly in the living room of Lou Who’s house. Both Lou and Betty, dressed in their robes, reached for the phone to pick it up. But Lou ended up being the one to answer first.

“Hello!” He greeted.

A muffled voice on the other end could be heard.

“Is my subzero chillobrator running?” Lou asked confused.

The muffled voice came again as if confirming that was indeed what had been asked.

“I suppose.”

<>

“WELL THEN YOU BETTER GO CATCH IT!!!”

The Grinch slammed the phone back onto the receiver so hard, it actually made Lou reel back a slight. Grinch laughed at his supposedly ‘brilliant’ crank call.

“Oh, that’s a good one!” He complimented himself. “That is rich…”

Suddenly the Grinch turned toward Cozy Glow and Max, neither of them laughing with him.

“… What?”

“You call that a crank call?” Cozy asked. “That was lame… no! Lamer than lame! That’s just… Lamey, Lamey-lame! And I’m a kid; I’m supposed to think any crank calls are funny! Even the ‘stupid’ ones!”

“Harumph… like you can do better?” The Grinch challenged.

“Gladly. Watch and learn, Grinchy.”

Taking a coin from the Grinch, she placed it into the payphone and randomly dialed a number. After ringing for a few moments, an elderly woman’s voice (ala Betty White) could be heard on the other end.

“Hello?”

“Good evenin, ma’am!” Cozy called, in a disguised voice. “You’re our one-bazillionth caller, which means you have won the Whoville Clearing House Lottery for our three-kajillion Christmas jackpot!”

“I won?... I won?! Ed! ED!!! I just won us three kajillion—”

“Please hold for one of our representatives,” Cozy continued. “So stay on the line no matter what! Thank you!”

Shushing the Grinch, who looked on in disbelief, Cozy slowly and quietly hung up the phone before facing him again with a smug smile.

“That is how you do a crank call!” Cozy said.

“Hmm… long-term hold on a festively facetious phone call?... Genius!” Grinch complimented. “Why didn’t I think of it first? Oh, you reprehensibly repulsive runt! You know… you oddly remind me of a younger, albeit more… saccharinely sweet… me! Oh, you’re just like the demented, disobedient devil-child I never wanted!”

“Yeah? Well you’re like the black-sheep, ex-convict uncle my family never wanted me to know about!”

They stare at each other in silence for a moment… then immediately the two burst out laughing while Max practically raised a brow over their behavior.

“So, when do we call the crone back?” Grinch asked.

“Not just yet,” Cozy answered. “You know that little moment when people’s hopes die a little?”

“Are you kidding? That’s what gets me up every morning!”

“We milk that call for what it’s worth, and then… SMASH! A thousand upon thousand tiny pieces. Poof! Gone with the wind, but only after building it up so long. I’ll cue you when we break the old lady.”

“Works for me!” Grinch nodded. “Let’s go home.”

The Grinch soon approached a corner to a nearby trash bin with a button that said, ‘Dumpit to Crumpit’. Cozy Glow peaked inside for a moment and her face cringed after one whiff of a foul stench coming out.

“You’re kidding me!” Cozy groaned, facing Grinch. “You’re joking right?”

“Less you’d rather ‘fly’ all the way up the mountain?” The Grinch remarked.

But Cozy Glow, knowing how high the mountain was and how far from the town, was not going to argue over it. Moaning, Cozy Glow and Max were about to climb into the tube when the Grinch stopped them.

“Fleas before beauty. Thank you.”

Cozy Glow and Max groaned as they allowed the Grinch to enter first.

“Come on, hurry up, slowpokes!” Grinch called out.

The pair hopped in after the Grinch without another word. When all were together, Grinch slammed his furry hand on the button and a great force of suction pulled the trio down the chute on a winding, twisting path up the mountain with all the bits of trash around them.

“Why… couldn’t… we go… a better… WAAAAAAAAAAY!!!” Cozy Glow screamed.

<>

After a long, bumpy ride towards the peak of Mount Crumpit, a lid opened up releasing the Grinch, Max, and the newest addition to the do-no-goody group, Cozy Glow. Out from the trash tube, they landed into the junkyard, the majority consisting of contents from Whoville’s Christmases past. While the ride up the tube was dizzying, the landing was short and somewhat painful, especially for the Pegasus filly first-timer.

The girl shook herself from the harrowing ride before rubbing her sore hindquarters.

“Ugh… you guys have landings like this all the time?”

The Grinch, however, sat up like he just woke from a short nap.

“You get used to it,” He shrugged. “The worst part is the traffic on the way up here. Why a car could have paid for itself by now.”

As she was recovering, Cozy was suddenly hit by a thousand sights and smells, overwhelming her sensitive nostrils to the point of gagging.

“And you have to land—urgh—here each time? A smelly junkyard?!”

“I know…”

The Grinch took a big whiff, breathing in the noxious fumes like fresh air.

“It’s one of the things I look forward to when I get home. Nothing better for the lungs than good old stale air.”

“So, you’re just living up here… with the Whos’ trash and a dog? That’s sad, even for a villain like you.”

His eyes widened as the Grinch faced the filly.

“Are you kidding? I love it up here! Seven-minute distance from the dump, living space enough for one, outfitted with a lovely vantage point from which to plot out my unmerry machinations… and once in a while, those candy-cane-craving cravens usually dump out something very nasty to my liking!”

“Like what?”

Suddenly, the tube began to rumble, indicating the arrival of another load of trash, which made the Grinch slightly giddy.

“Oh, goody! Another load comin’ down!”

The Grinch shoved Cozy aside, the filly landing in a large pile of stained, horribly designed Christmas neckties. Meanwhile, the Grinch was greeted with another load of fresh trash, including a few big red bags with the same label. One of which landed in his arms and closed to his face.

“Ooh… what’s that stench?” He cringed, then turned giddy. “It’s fantastic!”

Cozy shook off the last of the ties for a closer look at one bag near her hooves.

“’Hazardous Waste’?” She read.

Her eyes widened with fear, as she backed away with a shriek! She proceeded to grab some neckties and rub furiously against her hooves to remove whatever substance was in that bag.

“My favorite kind of garbage!” Grinch said happily. “Second only to ‘biodegradable’, of course. Max, kid! Grab a bag! We’ll come back for the rest!”

He grabbed a couple bags before standing up and working his way up the path towards his door. This left Cozy Glow and Max trailing behind with a bag each.

“Of course, when I say ‘we’, I mean ‘you two’.”

Cozy naturally groaned as she found herself resorted to grunt work.

“Why do you even… want these bags?”

“The furnace. I’ve been meaning to get some new things to burn… and these are perfect! It’s amazing what these Who’s can throw away! Oh well… one man’s toxic sludge is another man’s potpourri~”

Max barked, to which the Grinch interpreted as a question.

“I dunno, it’s some kind of soup.”

“Actually, potpourri is when you take nice-smelling things and use them to freshen up a room. Like flowers, herbs, and… other stuff,” Cozy pointed out.

“Yeesh!” Grinch uttered, in disgust. “Little horse, you got one sick, twisted brain, you know that?”

“Don’t blame me for finding the truth disgusting… and I’m a pony!”

<>

Late at night, back in Whoville, Cindy Lou-Who was all dressed in bed and sat in her room. While everyone else was fast asleep, she sat by what appeared to be a music box with a ballerina Who twirling around to a melody. With a flashlight in hand, she held a tiny stocking in her hand as her mind pondered with great thought. Not just about what happened at the postal office earlier today nor just the arrival of the ponies and their need to find this ‘Cozy Glow’. But instead her thoughts hung over something much bigger than herself… this festive season of which is supposed to be ‘Christmas’.

Cindy Lou-Who (Sings):
Where are you, Christmas?
Why can’t I find you?
Why have you gone away?

My world is changing
I’m rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too?

Poor Cindy Lou clearly had so much on her mind. She can only conclude that through all the hustle and bustle, she just couldn’t understand Christmas. She loved getting presents, making Christmas cards, and decorating trees were all well and good. Yet something was making her unhappy. And if not unhappy, she was indeed ‘confused’ like she didn’t know how she was supposed to feel. So much so even in her letter to Santa, she couldn’t decide what she wanted for Christmas, and it just sat there… completely unfinished.

Little did she know, not ‘all’ were asleep at this hour. Peeking out, Starlight Glimmer saw Cindy Lou gazing upon her own Christmas tree and even out the window where Mt. Crumpit loomed over. For this brief moment, the thought of claiming Cozy Glow suddenly didn’t matter to Starlight anymore. Instead, she felt sympathy for a little girl lost in what was meant to be the most joyous time of the year. In a way, the little Who child reminded Starlight of herself… when she was very young. And as she leaned against the back of the wall, hidden from Cindy’s view, she sang along with her whether she knew it or not.

Cindy Lou & Starlight Glimmer (Sings):
Where are you, Christmas?
Do you remember the girl you used to know?
You and I were so carefree
Now nothing’s easy
Did Christmas change or just… me?

<>

Meanwhile, as night fell over Whoville, the Grinch, Max, and Cozy Glow made their way inside the cave through the large door. Each of whom carried the bags of hazardous waste into the dark, dank cave. The Grinch pulled a nearby pulley which turned on a light, sighing quietly with exhaust before dragging a bag onto a nearby makeshift catapult, to which Cozy Glow was curious about.

“So… where’s the furnace? And why are you loading that trash onto that catapult?”

“It makes heating my home less of a chore, and one of my few pleasures… PULL!”

The Grinch pulled the lever, flinging the bag over toward what appeared to be an election poster featuring Mayor May-Who, asking viewers to vote him as something called a ‘Cheermeister’. Landing square in the face, the bag landed in what resembled a big funnel.

“Ooh… sweet~! Right on target! As usual.”

As the tube connected to the funnel shook, a similar suction sound was heard before the furnace began to whiz and whir from the new source of heat. Cozy dropped her bag near Max before flying toward the Grinch looking between him and the poster.

“Wait a minute…!” She gasped in realization. “Is the mayor… your archenemy?”

“Uh… no? He’s not my archenemy…” He remarked, sauntering toward a coat rack. “He’s just the number-one Who out of all those meddling merry-makers who makes me sicker than a 19-day old Grin-Itch Spinach, down to my green, mossy bones~”

Cozy Glow felt her heart quicken with anticipation.

“Mr. Grinch… that’s what an archenemy is… and that’s great!” She replied, following his trail. “Because I have archenemies too!”

“Yeah, yeah, sure you do.”

And The Grinch simply pushed her aside while ruffling her mane, not carrying so much as he hung his coat and sang.

The Grinch (Sings):
Be it ever so… heinous,
There’s no place like… home…

Walking toward a ledge, he belted the last word which echoed across the cave while he raised his arms. On cue, all the lights inside sprang to life revealing possibly one of the strangest, yet most complex, villainous lairs Cozy Glow had ever seen. So many gadgets, doohickeys, and thingamajigs that Cozy couldn’t recognize. One thing was certain for the young pony, as a tear came to her eye, that the sheer magnitude of what she just witnessed was…

“So evil, and yet… grotesquely beautiful…” She gasped.

Of course, Cozy saw the Grinch descending down his lair on a strange-looking step elevator (While Max took another way down) and flew after him for a closer look.

“First floor, factory rejects!” The Grinch called out.

On the way down, he turned his head only to find Cozy Glow floating right beside him. He let out a girlish scream of fright and nearly fell off the pedestal.

“How’d you sneak on the elevator?!” The Grinch cried out.

“I didn’t…” Cozy spoke, confused. “Pegasus? Wings? Any of that ring a bell?”

“Hmm…” The Grinch feigned thinking. “No, not really. If it ain’t related to Who’s, I sure as Hell don’t peruse~ That’s my motto!”

Cozy Glow merely rolled her eyes as she along one of the railings like a bird.

“I tell ya, though, some days… those Who’s are hard to frazzle!” The Grinch continued. “But! We did our worst, and that’s all that matters. Least we scared the bejeebers out of that little girl and her friends at the post office!”

He soon jumped off and headed towards a screen divider.

“They’ll be scarred for life, if we’re lucky~”

“… Yeah, they don’t scare easily,” Cozy Glow pointed out. “The girl and Spike, maybe. But not Twilight and her friends. Anyway, about what happened today… why save that little Who girl instead of letting her great crushed into a mound of mush? You are a bad guy, aren’t you?”

“… Of course I’m bad!” The Grinch retorted, offended. “There ain’t nobody badder than me, prissy! But if you must know… I was coerced into plucking that Who-poppet from the jaws of imminent doom by a certain fleabag who refused to let me walk away!”

The Grinch gave the stink eye to Max, who was still making his way down the rocky pathway to the bottom.

“Still… it all worked out in the end,” The Grinch continued. “Right after that little ‘wrap-up’ party in the letter room~”

The Grinch strolled behind the divider where Cozy could spot a silhouette of him humming incoherently as he slipped on some kind of robe… before acting like he was transforming into some kind of beast, making growling and guttural barks as he hunched his way out. By the time she could see him outside the divider, the Grinch seemed… well, what he’d define as ‘normal’.

“Funny she and those donkeys didn’t rat on us, though… must be afraid of reprisals.”

To say Cozy Glow was confused was an understatement. This Grinch was both intelligent and creative enough to concoct a secret lair like this. Yet clearly there were moments when the Grinch was like a man-child or some definition of a weirdo. Still, he was evil enough, and a little madness never hurt the cause. She, along with Max (Who made his way to the main floor), followed the Grinch towards what resembled a huge swing.

“Anyway, I think we did our dirt…” The Grinch stated, sitting down. “I feel bad, guys. Real bad.”

He grabbed a small sickle beside the swing as he made himself comfortable.

“I’m all… dead inside,” He added.

The Grinch soon released a weird, crazy laugh as he sliced the rope beside him sending him high into the air while dropping the ballast (An old safe) onto the ground. The Grinch released a loud ‘Wee!’ in his excitement, swinging back and forth like a schoolgirl as he was taken to the next floor, with Cozy Glow after him.

“You know… you’re so weird for a villain…” Cozy remarked.

The Grinch merely turned towards the little pony with a deadpan expression.

“You have no idea…”

Suddenly, something occurred to him so greatly his eyes widened.

“Wait… ‘Dead Inside’… that reminds me~”

Hopping off the swing, he headed toward another area on the next floor.

“Reminds you of what?!” The pony called out, following him.

In another part of the Grinch’s cave, the creature in question fidgeted with a strange device with some kind of screen. Turning it on, he grabbed the screen and pulled it over his chest, revealing itself as some kind of makeshift X-ray machine. As he finetuned the picture, Cozy couldn’t help but wonder what exactly the Grinch was up to.

“What’cha doing?” She asked cutely.

Of course, it was almost so cute the Grinch could barely stomach it.

“I’m trying to get my number in, so… scooty your booty, tutti-fruity~”

“… Number? On what?”

Before she got an answer, the screen became clearer. Before her the bones were blue outlines with something faintly small and red thumping along the upper-left of his body. The shape was what struck Cozy as odd: The Grinch’s heart. As the narrators from a few chapters ago suggested (‘You’re welcome!’), the Grinch’s heart was indeed so very small. And oddly enough… that’s how he liked it.

“Yes! Down a size and a half!” The Grinch cheered.

“Your heart gets smaller and you’re happy?” Cozy raised an eyebrow. “How is it you’re still alive with a heart so small?”

“Oh, silly horsey… I live off my hate, not my heart!” He remarked, patting her head condescendingly. “Ever since I was a little Grinch and first came to live up here… besides, if it got bigger, that would mean I’d have to do another week-long cruelty cleanse… urgh! Which of course means no messing with Who’s till I get my sizes down~! But it’s worth it to have a heart as small as can be~”

He then turned away, as if gazing for someone there (Where there wasn’t).

“And this time… I’ll keep it off.”

His face sagged with a bored look as he wandered off, with Cozy not exactly sure what she was hearing. But she fluttered after him anyway.

“Pony… not horsey!” Cozy grimaced.

Of course, Max finally approached the Grinch, who pretended he had a stick for Max to fetch. He ‘tossed it’, which sent Max running. Cozy lightly groaned from such entry-level wickedness.

“There’s no stick,” The Grinch remarked proudly. “I’m smarterer…”

The Grinch made a running start toward what seemed to be his bed, so rickety and squeaking with a weird-looking headboard. He lifted his head towards an old answering machine before turning his entire body towards it.

“Any calls~?”

He clicked the machine on, and an automated voice gave the following notification:

“You have no messages.”

The Grinch gazed at the machine as if something was wrong.

“Odd… better check the outgoing.”

He clicked a button which played back the Grinch’s personal message, to which he listened intently.

“If you utter so much as one syllable, I’ll hunt you down and gut you like a fish! And if it so happens to be Mayor May-Who on the line, then I’d like to add that I’ll also DUNK YOUR HEAD IN A PILE OF FRESHLY-PLOOPED WALVARK DROPPINGS!!! If you’d like to fax me, press the star key.”

The machine beeped, concluding the rather disturbing message which unsettled even Cozy Glow. First starting calmly, then briefly turning to anger… then returning to calm again. It was all over the place. Clearly the Grinch had more potential as a villain than she thought.

“Oh well!” The Grinch remarked.

Clearly he had no concern for his messages, probably just wanted to hear his own voice on tape. Reaching up, he grabbed a bar over his head and pushed himself out of bed, yelling like a wild man and riding on a zipline leading all the way down towards a well-used armchair, which he jumped onto. By now, Cozy was getting a little tired from following him place to place in his own cave lair and practically plopped onto the ground. Of course… the Grinch paid no mind to his new guest.

“That’s more like it~”

He began to sing quite incoherently again, lifting his legs up and tossing each sock off his furry feet onto the floor. They dropped near Cozy Glow, who was about to stand when she noticed the socks literally coming to life and inching away from the stench from their wearer’s feet. She then heard a loud crunching sound, to which Cozy found the Grinch eating the neck of a glass bottle, which made her shiver.

“Ugh… this guy must be part goat…” She remarked to herself.

After sticking a finger in his mouth, possibly picking a shard from his teeth, he gazed into the bottle he chewed on.

“Excellent year…” He noted, putting it down.

Seeing the Grinch eating caused Cozy’s own stomach to growl, reminding her that she hadn’t eaten anything at all today. But since clearly cuteness won’t work on the Grinch… she knew she had to be clever instead.

“Excuse me, Mr. Grinch…” She spoke, approaching him. “I know it’d be awful rude of me to ask after all you’ve taught me about mischief today, but… I was wondering if… you could spare a little something to—”

“If you’re so hungry, why don’t you bother Max?” The Grinch remarked, unconcerned. “He’s got plenty of dog food to share.”

This made Cozy growl a bit, the thought of eating what the dog ate. She nearly lost her cool before calming down.

“I understand… you don’t trust me in your own home. So it’s understandable you wouldn’t share your food with me. But I think it would be in your best interest to feed me properly if I’m staying with you. I mean… if I can help you ruin the Whos’ holiday more effectively than you would by yourself, my brainpower would definitely be worth feeding me, am I right?

“And if not, on the off chance you wanted to cash in on that ‘filly cheesesteak’ you were mentioning this morning, it’d be better to start with a fat filly than one that’s all skin and bone, wouldn’t it?”

Of course, Cozy had no intention on being eaten at all. But she knew if she could make him playing host beneficial to him, she’d make him do anything he wanted. The Grinch took a moment to think it over, and so far… it sounded like playing nice with her would be a win-win for him, depending on how it went.

“All right, all right. Help yourself to whatever’s in the fridge.”

Cozy grinned as she rushed toward the Grinch’s fridge. Upon opening it, she found it was not bare, but filled with foods she didn’t recognize. From cartons of both ‘Goose Juice’ and ‘Moose Huice’, a soup can of ‘Beelzenut Stew for One’, and even Tupperware filled with weird-looking croquettes covered in a greyish paste and coated with candied peanut shucks. She grimaced at the unusual food before finally recognizing a food she knew she had before: Eggs.

Though these were green-shelled, Cozy didn’t care as she grabbed the carton out the fridge and placed a nearby skillet over a hot stove. Of course, the first egg she cracked into the hot pan showed a green yolk in the midst of the egg white, which made Cozy stick her tongue out in disgust.

“Ugh… Grinch! Your eggs have gone bad! The yolks have gone green!”

“The yolks are green because they’re supposed to be!” The Grinch called out. “They’re green eggs! Philistine~”

Cozy groaned as she added a few more eggs into the pan, not really caring about the lack of bread. It became clear Cozy will have to make some changes around her, starting with getting food that she can eat. For now, as she cooked her make-do dinner, she heard the grinch remark:

“I tell you, people… I don’t know why I ever want to leave this place. I got ALL the company I need right here.”

“You mean your dumb dog?” Cozy asked smarmily.

“… No, I mean me. I am my own best company!”

Cozy turned around, curious as to what sort of crazy the Grinch was planning.

“I can even hold a conversation with myself, just watch!” He looked up. “Hello!”

“Hello!” His echo replied, greeting him.

“How are you?!”

"How are you?!"

“I asked you first!”

"I asked you first!"

Of course, while Cozy saw this conversation as stupid, the Grinch really got into it. So much he personified the echoes as someone trying to get under his skin.

“Oh, that’s really mature, saying exactly what I say!”

The Grinch waited for his own echoes to die before thinking of his rebuttal. He looked toward Cozy, who finished cooking her eggs and fluttered over to him.

“Watch this. Now you’ll see who’s smarterer…”

He turned back toward the ceiling and called out:

“I’m an idiot!”

However, instead of an exact echo as a response…

“You’re an idiot!”

Cozy’s eyes widened as the Grinch’s own echo changed, making the green creature agitated. He was no longer going to talk to his own echoes any longer.

“All right, fine!” He spoke, quiet yet clear. “I’m not talking to you anymore. In fact, I’m going to ‘whisper’. So that by the time my voice reverberates off the walls and gets back to me, I won’t be able to hear it…”

The Grinch smuggle looked toward the cave walls, thinking he’d hear nothing back.

“You’re an idiot!”

Dumbfounded by his own echo, not feeling the mood for another rebuttal, he grabbed the bottle he ate before and crushed it into tinier pieces. He poured the shards of glass down his mouth, gobbling them before looking down at the leftovers of his bottle, looking quite contemplative for once.

“… Am I just eating because I’m bored?”

He tossed the leftover glass into a nearby corner, with Cozy Glow looking at the Grinch with such disappointment. Not caring for manners, she downed the eggs straight from the pan before tossing it aside.

“Are you bucking kidding me? This is sad… I mean even for a villain!”

The Grinch sluggishly looked toward the miffed pony. For a brief moment he seemed in a malaise. Cozy Glow flew up, grabbed his face, and drew it closer to her own red face.

“Listen here, you sullen green giant!” Cozy continued. “I’ve dealt with a lot in my life, but you are without a doubt the most PATHETIC creature I’ve ever seen. You’re one of the evilest talents I’ve ever met, and yet instead… you waste your free time with weird comments and feeling sorry for yourself!”

“… It really shows, huh?” The Grinch admitted, defeatedly. “But what can I do? It’s always the same year after year. I do my business on those miserable Whovillians and yet they still find themselves happier than me. I’m left all miserable and alone… so what’s the point? I mean… It’s not like I can up and leave.”

“Well… what if you could leave? Leave all this Whoville and Christmas hoopla behind forever! Get a new start elsewhere! I believe I mentioned I’m in contact with some pretty powerful folk. I’m sure they’d be more open to letting you in our ranks~”

“Please… what could a Grinch like me have to offer these elite villains you keep rambling about?”

Cozy released his face to dwell on that note.

“Well… for one thing, you have the bestest evil lair I’ve ever seen, by far!”

“Right…” He raised a finger. “One thing.”

“You also got some cool gadgets and inventions. We need a gadget guy on our team, and you could be the one! Think of all the villainous devices those big furry hands could concoct…”

He gazed upon his hands for a moment, nodding a bit.

“They have made some pretty neat stuff…”

“And finally… you’re one of the most vicious, craziest, smartest… and grossest villains I’ve ever seen in my life!”

At that last adjective, the Grinch looked upon Cozy Glow as someone paying a heartwarming compliment.

“Really?” He asked, eyes sparkling. “You think I’m the grossest villain you’ve met?”

“Mr. Grinch, you’re so gross you make pigs look clean. Your stink eye peels the paint off entire buildings. Even a garbage dump smells nicer than you~”

“Aww… well, isn’t that sweet? Keep sweet-talking me, and I swear I’ll have cavities tomorrow morning. Actually… I think I feel one coming on right now~”

“So what do you say? Let’s leave this Who-Podunk town and let them drown in their own Christmas corruptions~”

“Yeah… you’re right!” He leapt off the chair. “Who said I have to stay up here? Punking the same seasonal stiffs year after year when there’s fresh meat to torment elsewhere?!”

“Now you’re talking!”

“Of course… if I’m never coming back…” The Grinch pondered. “I will want to leave… one last hurrah! Give those Who’s a Grinching worth telling their great-to-the-power-of-umpteen grand-brats about!

“All right! I made my decision! I’m joining your little evil social club, little horse… IF!”

“If what?” Cozy asked.

“IF… you help me come up with something to really stick it to those Who’s this Christmas. After that… I’ll get the closure to move on so I can torture new suckers! Deal~?”

He offered her his furry hand, to which Cozy offered her own hoof with an evil smirk.

“Deal~”

The two shook and the dark deal was sealed. Cozy gave an evil chuckle as she flew off for someplace to sleep tonight.

“You won’t be sorry, Mr. Grinch!” She called out. “It’s not like there’s someone in Whoville worth staying for, right?!”

“HA!” Grinch replied loudly. “Not a chance! I wouldn’t miss any of those Who’s. Not a one… except…”

Suddenly, he remembered something from his past as he thought long and hard over what Cozy said. Surely there’s not a single Who keeping him from leaving… or is there? The malaise briefly returned as he reclined back in his chair, laying on his side as he struggled with memories he just couldn’t touch… or hadn’t for a long, long time…