//------------------------------// // to a New Wife // Story: Waking Up // by Omegathyst //------------------------------// As Johanna felt a strong headache coming on, she felt something prodding at her arm as she turned to the other side of her pillow. Groaning, she inched away from whoever was touching her. “No, Lisa, I’m not covering your shift again…” “Who is Lisa?” That voice! Johanna sat up on the royal purple bed, her heart beating like a drum and her thoughts drowning in a mental wildfire as she stared at the pink pegasus princess on the other side of the bed. As she took in the vivid pink room with a pathway that led to a golden bathroom and big closet, Johanna put two and two together, her face turning a fierce pink as she looked away from Pipp. “Did...did we-” “No, even though it would’ve been fitting for our wedding night, I couldn’t make love to someone if they’re drunk. I mean, I’m a bit crazy, but I’m not a monster,” Pipp assured her. “Well, that’s goo-wait, wedding night?!” Johanna screamed. “Yeah, I might’ve not been as hammered as you, but I did have two glasses of wine before you and Zipp showed up at my room door,” Pipp ran a hoof through her mane as she stared down at the blankets. “I thought maybe I fell asleep and I was having a wacky dream about being romanced by a nearly hairless monkey with a way for words, if you will.” “Way with words?” Johanna parroted, any coherent thought lost to the void as she processed just what had happened. “Well, you could use a thesaurus,” Pipp shrugged. “Ya kept calling me sexy, even during the wedding vows. You promised to take care of me even long after I stopped being sexy, which was an endearing albeit weird vow.” Pipp looked up at Johanna, a gentle smile appearing on her lips. “Don’t get me wrong, I did believe it was very possible I wasn’t dreaming, and I was actually getting married to a foreign alien from another world.” “And?” Johanna whispered. Johanna eeped and moved back a little as Pipp flew up to her face, cupping it in her golden hooves. “I didn’t care,” Pipp’s smile gave way to a wide grin that lit up the room for a few seconds before she frowned. “Unless you want to get the marriage annulled by my Mom? I understand if you have reservations about being married to somepony you just met, so soon after waking up in a new world.” “You want to be married to me?” Johanna gasped. “Not any of the friends you made, or your fans, or Hitch-” “Oh, Zipp told you about our friends?” Pipp asked, letting go of Johanna’s face as she landed on Johanna’s lap and looked up at her. Johanna squirmed a little, considering hiding under the covers and wondering just how a cartoon pony could be this damn cute. But alas, since Zipp knew the truth about her, her new wife needed to know as well. Johanna proceeded to explain how the people of her world watch Pipp and many other cartoon ponies on boxes called TVs, and told her pony wife everything she knew about her and her friends. Pipp’s eyes widened as she heard the details that Johanna couldn’t possibly know any other way, so she knew the tall lady was telling the truth. As Johanna concluded her explanation, she paused and put her hand to her lips. “So you really aren’t interested in any of your friends?” Johanna asked again. “The people back on Earth are going to be really bummed about that, with shipping being rampant and all.” “No…” Pipp drifted off, looking away from her. “But?” Johanna’s heart skipped a beat, daring to reach her hand out to gently brush her fingers against the unbelievably lush fur underneath Pipp’s chin. “But I think that two of my friends might like each other,” Pipp smirked, looking back at her human wife. “Oh my God, please tell me it’s who I think it is,” Johanna begged her, bouncing up and down in her spot on the bed. “I’m pretty sure-” Knock knock! “Noooooooooo!” Johanna collapsed against the headboard, throwing her arms in the air at the conveniently-timed interruption to the conversation. Pipp laughed at the same time, her laugh and Johanna’s scream mixing into a melody that didn’t sound too different from an angry cat being thrown onto a piano. As their sounds died out, Pipp stood up on Johanna’s chest and leaned forward, pressing her muzzle against the human’s nose. “Silly, just because somepony is at the door, doesn’t mean I can’t finish my sentence,” Pipp grinned before she pressed her lips against Johanna’s ear and whispered. “Sunny Starscout and Izzy Moonbow~” “Yes!” Johanna pumped a fist into the air shortly after Pipp turned away and flew to the door, opening it. Zipp walked into the room before Pipp could speak on the matter, and froze when she saw Johanna in her sister’s bed. “You...cannot be serious…” Zipp breathed, each word taking a massive amount of effort to get out. Johanna looked at Pipp, and then back at Zipp, before an unrestrained smirk appeared on her face. “Guess she might be into me after all, hmm?” Johanna wiggled her eyebrows at Zipp, who walked over to her sister and shook her with her forehooves. “Please tell me this is just a prank,” Zipp begged her sister. “You’re getting back at me for that time I switched your perfume for skunk spray, or that time I snuck hot sauce into your breakfast. Hahaha, very funny Pipp.” “It’s not a joke,” Pipp told her, glancing over at Johanna. “I know neither of us know her very well, but she’s made me feel a way that nopony has ever made me feel before. That she sees through the lights and glamor, and she just sees me. Even now, I’ve only fallen back into the good graces of a few ponies. Everypony else still sees me as a liar, and a fake. And of course, I’d love to get to know her better...over coffee?” Despite the vietnam flashbacks of customers demanding to receive their drinks within 3 seconds, Johanna grinned at the prospect while Zipp gawked and turned around and left. “I’d love to,” Johanna told her. “Mom will be hearing about this!” Zipp cried out as she disappeared from their sight. Pipp laughed as she shook her head, walking towards the open door before she batted her eyelashes at Johanna. “You coming?” Johanna couldn’t have bolted out of the bed fast enough. “And so then the girl started yelling at me for charging her for the fruit she wanted in her water!” Johanna exclaimed, Pipp laughing throughout her rant. “Like, bitch we’re not giving you free shit because it’s in a cup of water. And don’t even get me started on this lady who wanted egg whites in her frappuccino.” “Oh goodness,” Pipp tried to catch her breath from her laughter as they sat on the tall chairs in the kitchen, Johanna drinking her steaming mug of coffee as Pipp spoke. “So, what do you like to do when you’re not working?” “Well, before I took on more hours, I used to read a lot and play high school volleyball,” Johanna explained. “Then I graduated from high school a while ago, got an apartment with a roommate, and got more hours to pay my share of the rent. With little time to myself, I just watched YouTube videos and cartoons till late at night. Now that I don’t have that job anymore, there’s so many activities I can do now. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of me.” “Same here,” Pipp nodded. “Ever since Mom asked me to stay out of the spotlight for a little while, I haven’t had to worry about performances or commercials to appear in. I’ve even been able to make the occasional visit to Maretime Bay and Bridlewood with my sister, I’ve never felt more-” “So this is the tall hairless alien that married my daughter.” Johanna felt her blood run cold as she saw the taller pink pegasus with her periwinkle mane and multi-colored wings walk behind her, eyeing her like a predator staring at prey. While Pipp was the only pony that made Johanna’s heart go crazy, Johanna couldn’t help but notice what a MILF Queen Haven was in person. But she couldn’t tell her that, especially not in front of her new wife, that’d be weird right? “Not to mention, the alien that seems to know everything about ponykind, my family included,” Haven paused, waiting for Johanna to turn around in her chair to face her before speaking again. “I don’t suppose you’re mute now, are you?” “N-No, ma’am,” Johanna gulped, reaching her hand out. “My name is Johanna.” Queen Haven stared down at the non-hoof as if it was mud on the floor, before slowly reaching her hoof out and shaking her hand. “You won’t be leaving our home for the next two days,” Haven decided. “Zephyr Heights is barely adjusting to the fact that we have unicorns and earth ponies visiting, they’ll practically shit themselves when they find out some weird creature appeared out of nowhere and married Pipp Petals. I need to prepare everypony and myself for the chaos that’ll surely unfold.” “I understand,” Johanna nodded. “Do...you know exactly where I was, and who found me?” “Zipp found you sleeping in the garden outside of our castle,” Haven explained. “So she took you to the dungeons, where you were supposed to stay until the public eye was ready to learn about you. Obviously the circumstances have changed.” Johanna blushed, glancing at Pipp, who looked like she was about to evaporate underneath her Mom’s harsh stare. “I am not done with either of you, I still have to find out just how this marriage happened...” Haven turned from her daughter to stare at Johanna. “And I need to find out how much you know about my family. But luckily for the both of you, I have a lot of responsibilities to tend to right now. I expect to talk to the both of you tonight.” Queen Haven looked away from the married couple as she left the kitchen, and Johanna had to take a deep breath from just how riled up she was from the Queen’s domineering voice. Pipp’s tense shoulders relaxed as she forced out a laugh. “Sorry about that,” Pipp said. “This must be a lot for you to experience all at once without my Mom making it more stressful.” “No, it’s okay,” Johanna stretched her arm out, resting her hand on Pipp’s shoulder. “Are you doing alright? You got chewed out by her a little too.” “Yeah, I’m alright,” Pipp told her. “So tell me more about these customers at...Starbucks, was it?” Johanna’s eyes lit up as she thought of another tale to share with her wife, the conversation with her new mother-in-law placed in the back of her mind.