Big Mac Needs A Flu Shot

by Bell


The Whole Story

        It was a cool autumn night on Sweetapple Acres. Wind whistled through the groves of apple trees, which were already beginning to shed their leaves, and it was clear that the first frost of the season was not far off. Inside the Apple family farmhouse, Granny Smith, Big Macintosh, Applejack, and Apple Bloom were gathered around the table, eating dinner.

        “...And that’s why we’ll be havin’ a substitute teacher for the next week,” Apple Bloom said as she concluded the tale of how Miss Cheerilee had gotten injured during that day’s show-and-tell.

        “Can’t say Ah’m surprised,” Applejack remarked. “Ah mean, who in their right mind would give Snails fireworks?”

        Granny Smith and Big Mac nodded in agreement. Somepony like Snails shouldn’t have been left alone with anything even remotely flammable.

        As the family finished their dinner and started dessert, Granny Smith began to speak. “Big Mac, AJ, Bloom, y’all three need to be at the doctor’s office in town tomorrow.”

        “What for?” Applejack asked.

        “To get yer flu shots,” Granny said.

        Big Macintosh’s eyes went wide at the mention of the word “shot”. “S-shots?” he said with a mighty gulp. “Like, with needles?”

        Granny Smith sighed deeply. “Yes, Mac, with needles.”

        “Do Ah have to get one?” Big Mac said hopefully.

        “You’re darn tootin’ ya hafta get one!” Granny retorted. “Ah can’t have y’all gettin’ sick this winter, what with all the cider and apple butter to be made.”

        Apple Bloom, who had been eyeing her big brother in disbelief ever since this line of conversation started, now piped up. “Y’all mean to tell me Big Mac is scared o’ gettin’ shots?”

        Both Granny and Applejack nodded, Applejack with a huge eye roll. “Yep,” Granny said. “Has been ever since he was a little colt. Try as Ah might, Ah can’t seem to break him of it.”

        Apple Bloom laughed at the sheer absurdity of her huge brother being afraid of a tiny injection. “C’mon, Big Mac, you gotta be jokin’,” she giggled, wiping a tear of laughter from her eye. “Ah ain’t even that scared of gettin’ a shot.”

        “Nope,” Big Mac said, now visibly sweating. The very idea of a sharp, sinister needle coming near him was putting him on edge.

        Granny Smith shook her head. Most of the time, she was proud to call Big Macintosh her grandson. At times like this, though, he was downright pitiful. “All three of you are goin’ tomorrow, and that’s that,” she commanded. “That includes you, Mac.”

***

        The next morning, Applejack awoke to the harsh buzz of her alarm clock. She pulled herself out of bed, then went to make sure her siblings were awake.

        She found Apple Bloom awake and cheerful, running a brush through her scarlet mane. Okay, Applejack thought, that was the easy part.

        She opened the door to Big Mac’s room and saw, as expected, that he was still in bed.

        “Mac!” she yelled. “Get up!”

        He snuggled deeper into his blankets and let out a soft, “Nope.”

        Applejack huffed. “Ah’m gonna have to fight you, ain’t Ah?”

        “Eeyup.”

        “Well, alrighty, then.”

        Applejack took the bottom corner of his blanket in her teeth and whipped it off him. This only succeeded in making him cuddle closer to his ragged old Smarty Pants doll and let loose a yawn.

        Applejack gritted her teeth at her brother’s hard-headedness and stormed to the kitchen. She yanked open the refrigerator and rummaged through it for a few seconds, finally emerging with her prize clutched in her teeth. In Applejack’s mouth was a very large, very cold pitcher of iced tea.

        She carried it back up to Mac’s room and placed it down on his nightstand. “Okay, Big Macintosh, Ah’m done playin’! You get up right this moment or else!”

        Big Mac rolled over. “Nope. No needles for me. Nope.”

        “If that’s the way you want it...” Applejack picked up the iced tea again, and, without hesitation, poured it all over her brother’s head and pillow.

        Big Macintosh sat straight up, coughing and spluttering, his big green eyes glaring daggers at his sister.

        “Told you, get up or else,” Applejack said smugly.

        “Guy tries to avoid gettin’ stabbed, and you drown him,” Mac grumbled as he got out of bed. He flicked his wet, sticky mane out of his eyes as he made his way to the bathroom to wash up.

        He emerged moments later, looking somewhat cleaner but no less angry. He trudged back to his room and grabbed his doll before going downstairs. If he was going to be made to go to the doctor, he could at least take his friend Smarty Pants with him.

        Shortly after, the three Apple siblings were on the road into Ponyville. Apple Bloom and Applejack walked and chatted merrily, while Big Mac dragged his hooves dejectedly.

        As they were walking along, a light blue blur suddenly crashed into them, knocking all three off their hooves.

        “Consarn it, Rainbow!” Applejack shouted. “Don’t you ever watch where you’re going?”

        Rainbow Dash dusted herself off. “Sorry, AJ. Didn’t see you there.”

        “You never do, RD. You never do,” said Applejack, getting to her hooves.

        Rainbow Dash chuckled. “So what are you guys doing in town, anyway?” she asked. “Don’t you have work to do or something?”

        “We gotta see the doctor,” Apple Bloom chimed in. “Granny wants us to get our flu shots.”

        “Yeah,” Applejack said, “except Big Mac here’s terrified o’ needles.”

        “Uhh... AJ, Big Mac isn’t there,” said Dash.

        “Huh?” Applejack whirled around. Sure enough, her brother was missing. “He must’ve run off.”

        “I’ll help you find him if you want,” Rainbow Dash offered. “Betcha I can do it in ten seconds flat.”

        Applejack rolled her eyes at her friend’s egotism, but accepted the help just the same. “Sure, Rainbow. See if you can round him up.”

        Rainbow Dash speedily took to the sky. Her magenta eyes began scanning for a big red form. Big Mac wasn’t exactly inconspicuous, but he could make himself scarce when the need arose. Dash swooped low over the Ponyville rooftops, probing every street corner and back alley. She saw no sign of her quarry. It was as if Big Macintosh was secretly a unicorn with a strong propensity for invisibility spells.

        Applejack, meanwhile, ran with Apple Bloom in tow. She crisscrossed the town streets, scouring for any sign of her elder brother.

        Without warning, Apple Bloom called out, “Sis, look! Ah see him straight ahead of us!”

        Applejack looked and saw, plain as day, a bright red flank with an apple half upon it disappearing around the next corner. “Good eye, AB,” she said. AJ put on a fresh burst of speed and raced to the corner she’d just seen her brother round.

        She found him and knocked him down with a diving tackle.

        Big Mac grunted as his sister’s weight knocked the wind out of him. He looked up to find himself pinned down. “Darn it,” he muttered.

        “Gotcha,” Applejack gloated. “Now you gotta suck it up and go get your shot.”

        Rainbow Dash and Apple Bloom rejoined the pair.

        “C’mon, Big Mac, we all need to be brave for Granny,” the yellow filly said sweetly.

        Big Macintosh sighed. It was looking as though he had run out of escape routes. “Eeyup,” he reluctantly agreed.

        “So no more runnin’ away?” Applejack demanded.

        “Nope.”

"You guys don't need me anymore, then, do you?" Rainbow Dash asked.

        “Nah, RD,” said Applejack. “Thanks for helpin’ us corral Big Mac.”

        “No problem.” Dash flew off toward her home.

        Applejack turned back to her siblings. “Alright, y’all, let’s get to the doctor now, okay?”

        “Sure thing, sis,” Apple Bloom chirped happily.

        Big Macintosh just nodded grimly.

        The three walked in silence to the doctor’s office, Applejack wearing a triumphant grin, Big Mac clinging to Smarty Pants for support, and Apple Bloom wondering if she even had a chance to grow up normal. Judging from AJ and Big Mac, she concluded it was hopeless.

        They reached the building they were looking for and walked through the front door. Greeted by the sterile chemical scent that inhabited most medical establishments, they walked to the front desk, behind which sat a white mare with a light pink mane.

        “Hiya,” Applejack said to the mare, “we need to see the doctor about a flu shot.”

        “Name?” the mare asked.

        “Apple.”

        “Have a seat right over there,” the white mare droned boredly. “The doctor will be right with you.”

        The siblings did as they were told and took a seat in the waiting room. A few short minutes later, they heard their name being called; it was their turn. Big Mac gulped and held Smarty Pants tightly.

        They were led to a small examination room that smelled even more strongly of disinfectant. All three hopped up on the table reserved for patients.

        The doctor, a tan unicorn stallion with a chestnut mane in a white lab coat, entered the room behind them and closed the door. “Alright,” he began, “I understand you three are here for your flu shots.”

        “Yes, sir,” Apple Bloom answered chipperly.

        “Okay, then.” He levitated three hypodermic syringes out of his coat pocket. The sight of these nearly sent Big Macintosh into hysterics. “Who’s first?”

        Applejack spoke up. “Me.”

        The doctor magicked a needle over to her and injected it into her right foreleg. He then covered the wound with a bandage. “Next?”

        Apple Bloom looked at her big brother beside her, paralyzed with fear, and sighed. “Me, Ah guess,” she said.

        The doctor turned toward her. “Well, aren’t you a brave little filly?”

        Apple Bloom shook her head. “Ah’m not a baby, mister.”

        “Of course you’re not.” The doctor injected and bandaged Apple Bloom quickly, then looked at Big Mac, who was now positively quivering. “Your turn, big guy.”

        “E-e-eeyup.”

        Mac hugged Smarty Pants closer to him as the doctor’s magic drew the needle close to his skin, hoping the doll would take his mind off the impending pain.

        As he felt the cold sting of the needle pierce his flesh, Big Mac screwed his eyes shut and held his doll in a vice-like grip. Suddenly, he heard a pop, which made him open his eyes.

        There, on the floor, was Smarty Pants’ head. In one foreleg, Mac held her torso, leaking stuffing. He’d hugged her too tight.

        It was at this moment that all of Mac’s frustration built to a breaking point. Between his rude awakening this morning, not being able to get out of this injection, and now breaking his favorite toy, he felt ready to explode. All of it culminated in a simple, single outburst that effectively expressed his anger at how badly the day had gone.

        “Fuck!”