Ave Deus Mechanicus: On Equestria

by PleaseDoNotDeleteMe


Uplink Twenty: Interlude II

The heat of Celestia’s sun scorched much of the realm in all directions. Without the pegasi to moderate the weather much of the land was now left parched and arid. The Invaders also had started constructing massive iron castles belching fire that further raised the temperature, or so Sidewinder had been told. A few settlements that the Invaders didn’t seem interested in had managed to survive thanks to shipments of water much like the one he now carried in his train.

As the golden sun reached its zenith in the sky, Sidewinder looked out across the vacant dusty planes and sighed. He had done this trip five times now, and the hairs on the back of his neck always stood up in this specific valley. "The Devil's Hoof" they called it, just a few miles away was one of those factories the Invaders. Dumping Celestia knows what and benching clouds of smoke into the air so hot it burns the surrounding land. Today was different from his normal trips though.

Today he saw some shadows in the distance. The shapes soon became more defined, they definitely weren’t ponies.

Sidewinder shoveled more coal into the engine, picking up speed, using all his earth pony strength to dump more coal into the firebox. Sweat streamed down his brow, but still, they gained on the locomotive. Their silhouettes gain solidity and color. Nine in total, seven rode of them on biomechanical constructs that looked just like ponies, but bigger and with their hooves having hooks added to the top. The faces of the steeds were peeled back exposing bone and flat teeth, grotesque bug eyed goggles inlaid into the skulls. Curiously, their mounts ran like timber wolves instead of Equestrians. The two constructs to either side were not as morbid, instead resembling chickens more than anything, though their size was still nothing to sneeze at.

Sidewinder redlined the engine, pushing it to its absolute limits, but still they gained. Their leader, the one in front drew a cylindrical weapon and started aiming at the water tanks. There was a loud bang and Sidewinder saw a hole open in his tanks. Precious water now ran free in the wasteland, turning the parched soil from red dust to brown mud.

The equine stead then leaped up off the side of the tank, digging into the gushing holes the hooks on top of its hooves. Three more loud bangs rang out giving the creature more holes to grab onto, and the cybernetic monsters made their way closer and closer to the engine. Sidewinder couldn’t outrun something that was on one of his cars. Nor could he hope to abandon the engine and survive. Another bang, and the sound of straining metal and rushing water. He was out of options, nothing he could do could stop.

Then it hit him, one last play. Disconnect the cart. He rushed back to the coupling only for his muzzle to run into the smoking barrel to the reaper.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” He said in perfect Equestrian.

The thing it rode was panting like a dog, was it actually alive somehow?

“Now I know what you’re thinking.” The creature said. Could they read minds? Side Winder thought.

“Did he fire six shots or five?”

That wasn’t what he was thinking.

“Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I’ve kind of lost track myself.” He continued “However given this is an Archeo Revolver the most powerful handgun on this world and would blow your head clean off. You got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’” He then pulled the hammer back. “We’ll do ya xenos?”

Slowly Sidewinder moved his hoof away from the coupling. After that the rider asked him a series of questions related to the operation of the engine, eventually working out how to stop the locomotive.

“Thank you for your service to the Omnissiah.” He said drawing the pistol again and aiming it at his head. Sidewinder put up his hoofs and waited for his brains to paint the cabin, instead, he heard a click.

The wraith looked at his weapon and cocked his head.

“Your lucky day xeno.” He said, before pistol whipping him out of the stopped carriage.

<My lord we have the xeno engine as you requested.> Alpha Gamma Mu 1367 said into his personal transmitter. Very few skitarii were privy to the master that responded. Most answered to Cassius, but some like Alpha Gamma Mu 1367, his squad of Serberys, XV- 999, and a few other Skitarii and Tech Priests knew who the true master of the Byzantium. The all too familiar voice rang in his head, and he nodded, taking control of the train and preparing it for its new route change on the tracks ahead.

+++

Meanwhile, in the frozen north of Equestria, Kars was fairing little better than Thrane in the south at cracking his assigned bubble. Craters, trenches, and unexploded artillery shells littered the frozen ice. Kars's tread legs having difficulty in the ice, but his bunkers remained firm against the onslaught of their own weapons. Still, something was bothering him. Something deep inside his core.

"Hmmmmm," He thought to himself. "Come with me."

Him and an alpha be didn't bother knowing the name of moved along the perimeter of the fortifications. Passing dug-in skitarii, trenches, and artillery emplacements.

They came across an enginseer in the process of repairing a skorpius disintegrator's reactor. Kars called up to the engineer who glanced over then ignored him focusing on his work.

"These vehicles aren't made for extended deployments to fridged environments," he said pulling out a pipe and tossing it off the side where a servo skull caught it. Without missing a beat, another skull hovered by with a replacement pipe that he grabbed and jammed in.

"Ok, try it now."

The skitarii that was sticking out of the disintigrator's hatch gave a salute and then ducked inside. Soon enough there was the familiar hum of a reactor and the skorpius lifted off the ground. The enginseer hopped off, his heavy legs sinking into the snow.

“What is it Kars?” The tech priest asked, not even looking at the Dominus as he grabbed his tools and moved on to the next project. The two had been friends for long enough to be casual with each other.

“I’m worried about our progress on the northern front. What are your thoughts on the matter?”

The enginseer paused and looked at his long time friend.

“If I’m being honest things could be better.” He answered honestly. “ We’re stretched thin across too many fronts, and we may have an ark mechanicus but if we don’t start living off the land we’ll run out of ordinance and parts long before the xenos run out of food.”

"So what do you suggest we do then?"

The enginseer strokes his chin thoughtfully. "My recommendation is that we start scavenging from the land. Processing oars in minerals found here to shape into weapons for the war effort."

"Thank you my friend," Kars nodded "I'll run the request up the chain. Ave Deus Mechanicus."

"Ave Deus Mechanicus."

+++

Sub Dominus Thrane entered a bar on the Byzantium. He was beaten, it was months since the siege started and he wasn't making significant progress. He was beginning to doubt himself. Turning to his side he spotted a group of sicarians joking about one of their members apparently getting beaten up by a small mammal no bigger than a skull. Thrane sighed to himself, similar stories were common. These xenos were dangerous when underestimated. He sat at the bar and slumped his shoulders, the old wooden chair creaking under his weight.

"Bit for your thoughts?"

He tilted his head up and saw a familiar pink equine with a fake mustache. He didn't even question it at this point and just ordered his drink.

"Amasec." Thrane said then downed the alcohol in one gulp and put it down for Pinkie to refill.

"What has you being mister moppy mopersen?" she asked.

Dominus Thrane sighed and took another swig.

"Well, this war has been dragging on for too long. I can tell Cassius is running low on patients." He began, "What's worse is we haven't even run into signs of chaos aside from the arch magos's original encounter. It's getting hard to justify the expenditure of resources when we have so little to show and have barely made any progress. Chipping away at this just isn't working."

With that the sub dominus finished his drink and Pinkie refilled it.

"That sure sounds like quite the pickle. Well, that sort of reminds me of this one time I was put in charge of Sugar Cube Corner and Misses Cake told me to get rid of this big old batch of cookies. I tried eating them one at a time but that was taking too long so instead I just ate them all at once."

The tech priest looked at the reality bending xeno before realization dawned on him in his drunken state. She was right. He needed to get things over and done with. And thankfully he knew just how to do it.