"Uhhhhhh... Applejack! What a pleasant surprise! What brings you to the kitchen at this hour?" Rainbow said with a huge fake grin stretched across her face.
"I was under the impression there was food being prepared in here? I'm not sure about that though since you seem to be doin' one of your isometric exercises or somethin'."
"Whuh?" She suddenly remembered her left leg was still stretched across the windowsill. "Oh.. oh yeah! I mean you know what they say, you always gotta follow your ABCs... Always Be.. uh... Stretching." Her face fell a bit as she brought her leg back down to the ground.
"Your ABCs, huh?"
"I had a bad kindergarten teacher, okay?"
"We were in kindergarten together! Also, is that smoke coming out the oven right now?"
Rainbow Dash felt like a deer in headlights. Her eyes slowly panned over to the oven, which, indeed, was still billowing out black clouds. Turns out just turning off the oven hadn't actually stopped the fire that had begun inside it. Whoops.
"Ah well, ahhhhhhh NOPE! No no no, it's just uh... steam! From the steamed clams I've been making! Mmmm mmmm!" Rainbow said as she licked her lips and rubbed her stomach exaggeratedly.
Applejack's eyes rolled so far back into her head one might have thought her possessed. "Dash, I'll admit I've never made steamed clams before, but I am 100% sure that's not how you make steamed clams. And I definitely know the difference between steam and smoke."
"Hey, who's the chef here, you or me? Now just get back to the table and wait a minute!"
Applejack groaned. "If you insist, chef." She turned around and shut the door inelegantly. Immediately Rainbow Dash grabbed a nearby saucepan, filled it up, opened the oven and dumped the water on the flaming roast.
It was a bit concerning that the smoke detector hadn't gone off at all, but for the moment it was fairly serendipitous. The oven still seemed functional, in spite of everything. Not like Mom and Dad ever even use this thing anyway. She turned her attention back to the windowsill. Alright now, let's get some lunch.
Rainbow dove out the window and flashed down the street in an instant. Within moments she was faced with a whole line of potential suitors: Flickey's, Original Famous Ray's, The Singing Sirloin, The Frying Dutchman, Izzy's Deli, Fleet-a-Pita, Much Ado About Muffins. Most were either gross or out of her price range. Making a quick call, she zipped across the street (having a near-miss encounter with a large Acne Grease & Shovel truck in the process) to Big T Burgers and Fries; cheap, convenient, passable as something she could make.
She made it up to the front of the line before it occurred to her she'd left her wallet at home. She blasted out the door and zipped back inside in a matter of seconds, leaving the patrons behind her with a sudden headache and need to pop their ears.
Applejack had just about fallen asleep when Rainbow finally came through the door proudly carrying a shiny tray of... wait, what?
"Alright, Applejack, get ready for some mouthwatering hamburgers!"
"Uhhhh... what exactly happened to the steamed clams?"
"What? Oh no no no, you misheard! I said steamed hams."
"Steamed... hams."
"Yeah! It's my new word for hamburgers! Pretty neat, right?"
"And the fries?"
"Steamed yams."
It took a deep reservoir of willpower for Applejack to not dramatically facepalm right in front of Rainbow Dash. "Where in the heck did you get the name 'steamed hams' from? Is this from some weird regional dialect or somethin'? Those aren't ham, those certainly ain't yams and nothin' on this plate is even remotely steamed!"
"Look, I just thought it was a cool name, okay? Applejack, I... I worked really hard on this, you know?"
"Alright, alright already, don't get yourself worked up. I'm starved anyway. Let's eat."
They each scooped up a burger and a handful of fries. Applejack's suspicions grew tenfold the instant she took a bite.
"Say, Dash, these burgers - sorry, steamed hams - taste a heck of a lot like the ones down at Big T."
"Um, excuse me, Applejack, but these are patented DashBurgers. Patent pending. They're made by me, which makes them automatically cooler than a regular burger!"
"How much cooler? What percentage?"
"I don't know, when did this become a math test all of a sudden?"
"When did steamed hams become DashBurgers?"
"It's market research! Trying to see which name the consumer responds best to, y'know?"
Applejack just sighed and kept eating.
After finishing her burger, Rainbow Dash stood up, excused herself and bolted back into the kitchen, again shutting the door.
Aw man, aw man she knows! She totally knows, I couldn't be more transparent if I tried! I gotta make something for real! She looked around. She still had a few of the vegetables left over -- maybe she could sauté them? She quickly pulled up a recipe on her phone and then, tossing caution to the wind, prepared it at top speed, resulting in some fairly inelegant vegetable-cutting with the knife and a close call with her thumb. She tossed everything onto the skillet and twisted the knob all the way to high, then rushed back to the table.
Applejack looked up to see Rainbow Dash striding back to the table with a smug expression. "Got anything else steamin' up in the kitchen, there, Dash?"
"As a matter of fact, I do!" she said as she took her seat and another handful of fries.
"That's funny, I figured you'd be trying to duck out by now."
"And what's that supposed to mean?"
"Aw, nothin', I just..." Applejack trailed off as she noticed an odd orange glow emanating from the underneath the kitchen door... and on the sides of the kitchen door... and above the kitchen door. "Dash, what is that?"
"What's what?"
"Look at the kitchen door, Dash."
Rainbow Dash turned her head around and saw the glow. "What, that? That's just, uh... erm..." She turned back to face Applejack, who was now glaring holes into her skull. "Gyuuuuuhhhhh... it's an aurora borealis."
"Aurora borealis."
"Yup!"
"In Canterlot."
"Yup!"
"In spring."
"Yup!"
"In your kitchen."
"Yes! Are there any further clarifications you need?"
"Show it to me."
"What?"
Applejack's expression and tone were unchanged. "I've always wanted to see the Northern Lights, Rainbow Dash. I'd certainly appreciate it if you let me take a gander."
Rainbow Dash stood up. "Gahhhh, well, I'd love to but I really think this is something I should probably go hand-"
And suddenly she was cut off by the loud blare of the smoke alarm, and just as suddenly both girls were thoroughly drenched by the sprinkler system. The meal was over.
The conversation wasn't.