//------------------------------// // Delightfully Devilish, Dashie // Story: Rainbow Dash's Unforgettable Luncheon // by EileenSaysHi //------------------------------// Geez, who knew it'd take this long to make a roast?! For Rainbow Dash, speedster extraordinaire, connoisseur of pre-packaged and quick-service foods and a girl of limited attention span, having to stand by for hours to monitor her food's progress was her own personal hell. And she'd spent nearly as long preparing the ridiculous thing that morning, given that she didn't really know what she was doing and, well, wielding a cutting knife at super-speed was highly inadvisable for anyone who valued their fingers. She somberly checked the timer again. 108 minutes. Seriously, come on! She could feel her stomach rumbling and the frustration intensified. "Ugggggggghhhhhh..." Of all the weird kinds of magic that she kept finding herself either having to embrace or fend off, would it be too much to ask for a little more of the utilitarian variety? You know, the kind where she could just snap her fingers and have a perfectly good meal sitting there waiting for her, and maybe get to watch Trixie's head explode at the sight of it? This was agony. She'd done pretty much anything she could think of to keep her mind settled -- a few top-speed laps around the neighborhood, some phone games, speed-reading all the magazines on her mother's coffee table -- but nothing could settle the utter boredom. The running had brought the most relief, but, having recently gotten another stern lecture from her friends about not overusing her gem, she knew she just had to settle in and wait. Why am I doing this again? She pushed the question aside as it occurred to her that Applejack should be here about any minute now. She peered inside the oven. The recipe online said 2 to 2-and-a-half hours. How am I supposed to know which makes more sense for this? She groaned when she remembered the beef was at the higher end of the recommended weight and would probably need the longer time setting. Suddenly she heard a truck door shut just outside. She's here! Rainbow froze. Oh no, she's here! And there's still 40 minutes to go! She'd meant to get it in the oven earlier, but everything had just been progressing so slowly during the preparation process that she'd needed frequent breaks just to keep her mind stimulated. What was she gonna do? She didn't feel up to trying to keep a 40-minute conversation going, but she couldn't just keep Applejack waiting while she sat here and monitored. Oh, the hubris! Desperate, she notched the heat up on the oven. It's cooked most of the way, after all. This is just for the finishing touch. I'll have this ready in a jiffy. Rainbow zipped over to the door just in time to catch Applejack with her finger on the doorbell. "Uh... howdy." "Applejack, you came!" "Well of course I came, what'd ya think I was gonna do?" She peeked inside. "Your folks' new place looks pretty sweet!" "Thanks, yeah, it's been a really nice move so far." "Though I ain't really sure how you were expectin' me to get here with the mess of directions you gave me..." "What was wrong with my directions?" "Look, I know you run around this town so much you have every landmark memorized, but don't you think it might make more sense to give me, you know, a street address instead of 'make a u-turn at the donut shop with the big guy' or 'go left at the headless statue of the town founder'?" "You were supposed to go right at the headless statue of the town founder!" "I do have a phone with GPS, y'know. You're just lucky Fluttershy was able to give me your actual address-" "You called people? Applejack, this was supposed to just be our thing!" "I didn't tell 'em what it was for!" "Well, good, because you're in for a real treat." Rainbow Dash zipped over to the table and, in a mock-elegant fashion that would have infuriated Rarity, pulled out a chair. "I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon." Applejack rolled her eyes a bit as she strode over to her seat, laying a bottle of cider in the tub of ice Rainbow had laid out (though calling the contents of the tub "ice" was rather generous at this point). "So what've you got planned for this here 'luncheon'?" "Just a sec, just a sec, it's almost ready!" She darted back into the kitchen, instinctively closing the door behind her, leaving Applejack perplexed and calmly waiting. It took Rainbow Dash just moments to realize something was terribly wrong. She started coughing and opened the window, then looked at the oven. Smoke! There was smoke belching out of it! She shut it off but it was too late. She looked inside and saw the roast go up in flames. "No!" she yelped. "No-no-no-no-no!" Morning, afternoon, wasted. Just like that, it was gone, all gone! Her big chance to prove herself, incinerated. What could she do? What would she tell Applejack? How could she go in there and face her and admit... No. She peered out the open window as the heaviest of the smoke cleared. There was a whole line of fast-food restaurants a little ways up the road. Just a quick dash... She hadn't told Applejack what she was making, after all. She could salvage the meal yet. She smirked a little and muttered "delightfully devilish, Dashie." I can still pull this off. I'm Rainbow Dash, captain of all the Canterlot High School sports teams. I'm Rainbow Dash, champion runner. I'm Rainbow Dash, fighter of monsters. I'm Rainbow Dash, wielder of a magic gem that chose to bestow its power upon me. I'm Rainbow Dash, and I'm a true friend, even if I'm not strictly being an honest one right now. But it's necessary. And I'm not going to let Applejack down. She had just started to put one leg over the windowsill, while simultaneously making a mental note to never use the phrase delightfully devilish within earshot of Sunset, when the door suddenly opened. "What in tarnation is goin' on here?"