//------------------------------// // Chapter 5 // Story: Pinkie Pie Meets the Pyro // by tatony //------------------------------// “I do not want you to risk your life so carelessly; your services to this team are held in high regard, it would be almost impossible to accomplish anything without you.” The Spy began speaking what sounded like a rehearsed speech. “Uh, Spy?” The Engineer tried to interrupt. “Allow me to continue.” He spat at the Engineer. “Without you, what would this team be? I’ll tell you what it would be, a pile of good for nothing, slack-jawed imbeciles. Tell me, how many enemies have perished against your cold steel, how many boots have quivered at the mere utterance of your title? Tell me!” “Spy, can I get a word in please?” “Will you please be quiet? Now, I know I never told you this, but you are … very important to me and to the team. They look up to you, you know, of course they would never admit it, but they do. I both admire and respect your work. I cannot bear the thought of world without a man of your talents.” The Spy turned away from his mirror and to the Engineer. “Now, what the hell do you want cowboy? I’m busy here.” “I can see that, I need your help, you see ---” “But of course you do, this team always needs my f@*king help, without me, you’d all be ---” “A pile of good for nothing, slack jawed, imbeciles; Yeah, I heard your little pep talk. Now, I need you to sap one of my teleporters while I’m in it.” “What!? Get the boy to do it; do not bother me with such paltry requests.” The Spy said as he turned back to his mirror. “Hold up turncoat, listen I’m asking you, okay? I need finesse, we only have one shot at this and I’m going to need you to help me so I can find the Pyro and get him back here.” “Ugh, listen here laborer; I have no desire to participate in any rescue attempt for that pyromaniacal mute. I’m tired of him always chasing me around with his little lance-flammes, or however you Americans refer to it.” “Flame thrower, you snake.” “Petty insults will not work on me; now get out of my office, I will not be helping you. Entiendes? Capito? Míngbáile ma? Understand? Got it, pardner?” “It’s a shame you feel that way frenchie, because we all know what you’ve been doing with the Scout’s mother ...” He said holding up a manila envelope. “Is that a threat? What do I care? Tell him, if he tries anything I will end him, and then go to his house and faire l’amour to his mother.” “I have no doubt you would do that, but as I said, everyone knows what you’ve been with the scout’s mother, only I know what you have been doing with the Heavy’s mother and his sister. Not to mention what’s been going on with a certain Demoman’s mama, one Mrs. DeGroot.” The Engineer opened it and showed the Spy photographs of his escapades. “A bit of photographic evidence, just in case they have trouble believin'.” The Spy’s cigarette fell out of his mouth. “What? But how? They live in a frozen wasteland and she’s …” The Spy calmed himself, cleared his throat, and straightened his tie. “No matter, if you give me the photographs, I will help you.” The Spy said, one hand reaching for his cigarette case and the other asking for the envelope. “Heh heh, you must think I was born yesterday son, I’ll make you deal though, you help me and I’ll think about not leaving these photos on top of Sasha and atop a case of scrumpy. We got a deal?” The Engineer said with a grin as he grabbed the Spy’s hand. The Spy sighed “Yes, we have an accord.” ---- Spike stood next to Ponyville’s newest honorary citizen and attempted to complete his own miniature rainbow, unfortunately he was only able to produce the small explosion that came afterwards. “Aw, what am I doing wrong?” He asked the Pyro. “Hudda, hudda, huh” (Nothing Spike, you simply lack the proper tools, here I’ll allow you to hold this for the time being.) He handed Spike his Rainblower. “What, I need this? But it’s too big, I can’t move my hands and do those other things you do while I’m holding it.” The Pyro took back his Rainblower. Maybe he only needs to be touching it. He thought. "Oh, look at him.” Rarity said watching from a distance with her friends. “Fluttershy, now I’ll admit that his appearance scared me a bit when I first saw him, and that jumpsuit is still a crime against fashion, but now I think he’s simply adorable.” “Oh no Rarity, I could see he was special the moment I saw him, that’s why it was so easy for me to walk up to him. But, I’ll admit, his rainbow explosion still scares me.” Fluttershy said as she saw the Pyro touching Spike’s tail with his Rainblower. “Imagine if I could light the trail of my Sonic Rainboom on fire, it would be like I’m moving so fast that rainbows and flames are eating my dust.” Rainbow Dash said, dreaming of the possibility. “Pinkie, darling, I’m so glad you found him, he’s a marvelous addition to our little town.” Rarity said as she watched Spike produce a tiny Rainbow of his own. “Well done Spike! Um, girls where’s Applejack?” “She couldn’t come,” answered Twilight, “she’s really busy on the farm, she’s bucking the apple trees, you know her. “Oh that’s a shame; well, we will all be able to get together tomorrow.” Rarity said with a smile. “Look, Mumphy and Spike are going to try to do the Rainbow thing together!” cried Pinkie Pie pointing at the pair. The ponies around stopped and watched as the Pyro created his rainbow and right next to him Spike produced his own fully colored Rainbow with a white unicorn at the top of the arch. Both let their rainbows explode at the same time. The ponies who had gathered around stomped their hooves and let out cheers. The noise could have put Princess Luna’s voice to shame. Twilight walked over to Pinkie Pie. “Pinkie, I need to talk to you.” She whispered. They both walked away from the noise, Pinkie knew what Twilight wanted to talk about. “Pinkie I don’t want you to think I don't like Mumphy, but I had to let the Princess know that he was here and that he wanted to go home. I asked her if she could help us send him back home. ” “Twilight, I know that’s the right thing to do and I’m not mad, it’s just that …” Her eyes began to tear up, “If he leaves, I may never see him again.” She hugged her friend. “I don’t want to lose any of my friends Twilight, never ever.” Twilight found her eyes begin to water too. “I’m sorry Pinkie, but it’s for the best.” She managed to get out. The two hugged while each let the other wet their coat with tears. “Twilight please, I don’t want to lose anybody, don’t let me lose him.” She said as held on to Twilight tighter. “Pinkie, that’s …” She had trouble finding the right words, “that’s how life is, friends come and sometimes, they have to go.” “But why Twilight, why should they go, it’s not fair!” she yelled out in anger. “Pinkie, that’s the way it is, we can’t change it.” Twilight dried her tears. “I know it’s hard, but be glad you met him, you formed a very special friendship and I don’t think either of you will ever forget it.” “We wouldn’t have to forget it, if he didn’t have to leave.” She said still crying as she walked away. “Pinkie, where are you going, you can still ---” “Uh, Twilight,” Spike said softly behind her “we got a letter from Princess Celestia.” Twilight Sparkle wiped her eyes again, “Okay Spike, read it please.” To My Faithful Student Twilight Sparkle I have no idea what you meant by your little moon comment. However, I do possess the ability to send beings back to their rightful place; I have only used this power to aid lost travelers and other creatures to return to their homes here in Equestria, never to a far off destination as you suspect might be the case. I will be leaving for Ponyville shortly after writing this letter and I will see if I can help your friend. Yours truly, Princess Celestia Twilight giggled “I didn’t mention the moon.” She immediately felt guilty How can I laugh when Pinkie Pie and Mumphy are never going to see each other again. She thought. “Spike, come on we need to find to Mumphy and tell him the news.” “He already knows Twilight; he was there when I received the letter. He grabbed a newspapers and took it with him to Fluttershy’s house. Rarity and Rainbow Dash went with them too. “Then I need to go find Pinkie Pie and tell her that Celestia is coming, she may be angry, but she would never forgive herself if she didn’t at least say goodbye. Spike you go back into town and see what Mumphy is doing.” Spike gave Twilight a thumbs up as she walked away to look for Pinkie Pie. ---- “Now what is it you wish me to do exactly?” The Spy asked as the Engineer finished hammering away at his teleporter. “I’m going to need you to place that sapper on the teleporter, the instant that you see me disappear from this end. Any later and it won’t work.” The Engineer answered. “And if should ‘accidently’ mistime my placement? Repeatedly, if it may be the case.” The Spy asked “ No reruns on this show, if I gotta destroy that sapper, then that's it, no more where that came from. Then two of our strongest teammates will hunt you down and beat the tar out of you and then some. And I’ll make sure the rest of the team helps them find you if you decide to disappear into some corner of the building. Capisce? Comprende? Got it, partner? “Loud and clear ... my illiterate friend.” The Spy said under his breath. “What you say backstabber?” The Engineer asked pointing his wrench at the Spy. “Nothing.” The Spy responded quickly “That’s what I thought, now get ready, I’m going in.” The Engineer said as he stepped onto his teleporter entrance. The Spy eyed the timer on the exit. When the Engineer disappeared from his view he placed the sapper, it began to destroy the building, the Engineer was neither on the entrance nor exit port. “Au revoir, Dell Conagher, au revoir. Now then, where did he put those damn photographs?” The Spy asked himself, heading toward the base. “What photos?” He heard an Scottish-accented voice ask behind him. “Oh, hello Mr. DeGroot, just some private photographs that you need not concern your primitive brain with.” He said nervously, slowly backing away. He turned around and tried to run inside the base. His path was blocked by the Heavy. “Hello Heavy, would you mind moving your hulking mass away from my path, I need to locate a certain envelope.” The Heavy stepped to the side, the Spy sighed in relief. When he arrived at the door, it was opened by the Scout holding a manila envelope. The Spy turned around and saw two dangerous men glowering at him. He screamed. --- “Pinkie, where are you?” Twilight called out, she had only been walking for a few minutes when she heard crying coming from behind a tree. “I’m over here Twilight.” Pinkie Pie responded. She had made a tiny stream of tears. Twilight sat next to Pinkie Pie and hugged her. “I know he has other people who love him, but I love him too.” Twilight stayed silent. “Twilight, you would never leave me right?” “Of course not Pinkie we’re friends for life.” Twilight said as she dried her friend’s tears. “And Fluttershy, and Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow too, right? They would never leave me?” Pinkie asked, stifling her tears. “Pinkie, we will all be here with you as long as we can help it.” Twilight said as she hugged her friend again. Pinkie Pie smiled "Twilight, can we just sit here for a little while?" “Sure Pinkie, but Princess Celestia will be coming to Ponyville soon to see if she can send Mumphy back.” Twilight said sadly. “Oh … okay, he won't leave until we say goodbye, right?” Pinkie Pie asked her friend "Of course not." She responded. The two sat in silence. It was dark when Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle walked back into two town; they saw no sight of anypony anywhere. "Hey! Where is Everypony!" Twilight Sparkle yelled. Roseluck called out to the two of them from her window. “Princess Luna issued a warning about a shooting star crashing around here, she said to stay indoors until she can divert it somewhere else.” She closed her windows. “Let’s go to Fluttershy’s cottage, that’s where Spike said Mumphy was going.” Twilight said to Pinkie. The silence of the town was broken by trumpets; it was the Princess’ royal guards escorting her to Ponyville. The two ponies bowed until Celestia landed and told them to rise. “I see the warning has once again gone unheeded by you Twilight Sparkle." The unicorn began to blush. “Don’t worry, Princess Luna will keep this town safe, the warning was just her and I overreacting. Now then, where is this Mumphy? I am very curious to meet him, seeing as how he has made such a big impression on you both.” “He should be at Fluttershy’s cottage Princess.” Twilight answered. “Very well then, let us go and pay Fluttershy a visit.” The three made their way to Fluttershy’s cottage to find that four ponies and the Pyro were waiting outside. The four bowed to the princess, the Pyro kneeled. “Applejack, I thought you were bucking apples today.” Pinkie Pie said. “This is more important sugarcube.” She answered softly. “Well now, this must be Mumphy, how do you do sir?” She asked, the Pyro not knowing proper etiquette when dealing with Equestrian royalty remained kneeling. “You may rise Mumphy and let me say that you made quite an impression with my little ponies here." “Ow dow how dow” (They too have made an impression on me Princess, I am sadden that I have to leave them, if leaving is even a possibility, that is.) The Princess gave him a nervous smile. “Um, right, do you wish to go home Mumphy? He gave her a thumbs up. “That means yes, I take it?” She asked the ponies, they nodded. “Very well then Mumphy, I will use all of my abilities to see if I can send you home.” The Pyro put his hand up and turned to the four ponies who were with him all day. “Mmph mphna mprh” (If you would be so kind as to bring out the gifts, I would be ever so grateful.) “Oh right,” Applejack said “we forgot about the gift's, Rarity come with me t' bring them out.” The two went inside. “After you and Pinkie left, Mumphy wanted to learn how to write in our language, so he bought a newspaper and asked us to read it to him, he made a chart with some strange symbols and our letters and he learned how to write, so we could understand it.” Fluttershy explained. “He spent all afternoon writing.” “Mumphy you learned how to read and write in an afternoon? It took me years to learn how to do that.” Pinkie said as she nuzzled the Pyro. Applejack came out with a book and Rarity floated a rolled up scroll. The book cover was fiery red with gold letters adorned on it. “It’s beautiful Mumphy.” She read the title “Pinkie Pie meets Mumphy.” Aww, is it a story about us?” He gave her a thumbs up. “He told us to tell you that it’s also full of drawings of where he’s from and his friends, Mumphy here is really smart, even Rarity had some trouble reading what he wrote.” Rainbow Dash told Pinkie Pie. “He does have a very advanced vocabulary; we all probably sound like foals to him.” Rarity added. “And Twilight this scroll is for you, it’s just a little something he wanted you to have.” “Thank you Mumphy.” Twilight gave him a hug and stood with the rest of her friends. “Mumphy, I guess this is it,” Pinkie said with tears in her eyes “I really wish you didn’t have to go, but I’m sure you know what's best.” The Pyro patted her mane and gave her a hug. “I’m going to miss you, I’ll never forget you Mumphy and you will always be one of my best friends.” “ Mmmmrph mmmh, mmh mmphn frphha herrpha mhnk nhya mgh mhpm” (And I will always cherish our friendship Pinkamena.) He had trouble letting her go. He stood up and gave Celestia a thumbs up. With a spark from her horn, the Pyro vanished, with only the book and scroll to prove he was ever there. “Thank you Princess Celestia, for helping Mumphy get back home.” Pinkie Pie said crying softly. “Of course Pinkie Pie, it was a very noble thing you did, making sure he was happy during his short stay here in Equestria.” “Thanks.” She couldn’t bring her head up. “My little ponies you have had a long day, I suggest you get some sleep. As for me, I have to return to Canterlot. One more thing Pinkie Pie, he may be gone, but no one, and certainly not you, will ever forget him. Farewell.” Princess Celestia left in her chariot while the mane six stood and stared at the night sky. “Twilight, maybe you should read that scroll?” Applejack said breaking the silence. Twilight opened the scroll and cleared her throat. Dearest Twilight Please read the sections in parenthesis only to yourself, if your friends inquire about the contents of this scroll, simply omit them. (I never found my name to be of particular importance and I rarely use it, unless it is required for legal documentation, though my friends and colleagues refer to me simply as Pyro. You may never be certain if your Princess Celestia was able to return me to my home, but for all intents and purposes, especially for Pinkamena’s sake, I did return.) I thank you for trying to learn so much about my origin. Had it been up to Pinkamena, I would have stayed with you all in Equestria forever. But, that would not have right thing to do, you were right in your assumption, there are people back home who depend on me, I save lives and eliminate dangers on a daily basis and those I save from now on, owe you a debt of gratitude. I thank you for helping me get back home, it takes a strong pony to put aside feelings for what needs to be done, in fact you remind me of an Australian gentleman whom I am acquainted with as well. Best of luck Twilight Sparkle Your friend Mumphy (The Pyro) “That was beautiful.” Rarity said as she began to cry. Fluttershy cried along with her. “What does Australian mean?” Rainbow Dash asked. “I’m guessin’ that means smart-like, right Twilight.” Applejack said as she poked Twilight. Pinkie Pie stopped crying and hugged her book. “Goodbye Mumphy.” She whispered. She opened it and saw a drawing of her and the Pyro, his hand in the air and her jumping and hitting it with her hoof. She smiled. Her whole body began to shake. “Um, girls …” she said as she looked up saw another shooting star in the night sky.