Earth Calendar: 2117
Equestrian Calendar: 15 AC (After Contact)
Twelfth Month, Fourteenth Day, Celestial Calendar
Luna
There is something truly special about a homecoming. I, more than most, know what it is that I have, because I once lost it. Know the true value of companionship. Of Family.
Seeing Celestia, as she had once been, over a thousand years ago... It was an incredibly strange mixture of emotions, all the stranger because each individual feeling, or memory, was so familiar. It was the intensity, and the unique blend, in that peculiar moment, that made it so difficult to properly process.
Accompanied by a familiar Unicorn, a young Pegasus, seven Gryphons, and a Dragon, all marching down the bridge to the castle, flanked by twin rows of guards, pennants and banners snapping in the cool night breeze...
She looked almost as she had at the end of the last war.
Younger. Bolder. Determined.
But also weaker. And with so very much more sadness behind her eyes.
As she approached, I could not hold my composure in the way I'd intended.
Stepping away from Kephic, Varan, Sildinar, Shining Armor, IJ, and Stalney, I crossed the last of the gap, knelt, and folded my wings and neck around my sister. The irony of the gesture was not lost on me, as we both fought to hold back our tears, for the sake of the assembled guard.
In relative terms to our lifespan, it had not been all that long ago that our positions had been reversed.
Such a familiar moment. And yet so strange. Moonrise, instead of Sunrise. I as the rock of age, wisdom, and power. Dear Celestia as the errant filly, seeking forgiveness for a mistake, and refuge from her fear.
Gryphons, a Dragon, and an eclectic mix of Ponies, instead of the six newly minted Element Bearers.
The assembled Night, and Day Guards, and the white marble spires of our castle at Canterlot, instead of the gray granite of our first home in Everfree.
The inverted parallels were as striking as the divide between the light and dark of the Moon.
As I held my sister close, both of us squinting our eyes shut against the tears, silently searching for a mote of peace in the whirlwind of life, I could hear the sounds of joyful reunion amongst the others.
What an odd sight it must have made for the Guard; Gryphons merrily introducing a Dragon to the Prince of the Crystal Empire. A Changeling sharing an embrace with a Unicorn. Backslapping camaraderie between Gryphons, and a Pegasus, and a former Guard Captain.
And in the center of it all, their former enemy, Avatar of a fear still raw in their minds, kneeling to embrace her sister, projecting strength, and calm, as their favorite Sovereign showed, for the first time publicly in living memory, humility, and weakness, without reservation.
Good.
No illusions of comfort would save us now.
Indeed, the laurels of the worship of Alicorn prowess, on which we'd so long rested, would only be a chain dragging us to drowning depths.
Better to see that we too needed someone to lean on. And to see, as importantly besides, that we would as readily lean on good souls from other kinds, as we would the shoulders of our own.
We held the moment as long as we could, but time marches ever on. With a sigh, I pulled away, glancing up to see that the greetings, and introductions, and general fuss of reunion between the others was dying down at last.
Carradan was so torn over being enamoured with Fyrenn and Neyla's visibly obvious confirmation of intention to mate by way of their crest feathers, and the presence of two of the newcomer Gryphons in particular, with whom he seemed quite familiar, that he looked as if he would burst.
Kephic, Varan, and Sildinar were just as overjoyed, but they were doing a better job of maintaining something resembling decorum. More or less.
Spreading one wing over my sister, I gestured towards the Castle doors with my head, raising my voice to make myself heard to all of our new guests at once.
"Fresh tea, and a warm fire, are prepared. Let us all catch our breath, and finish our introductions, in a little more comfort, and privacy."
As the ranks of guards closed behind us, and the doors were swung wide, I looked from face to face, and reflected that this was certainly going to be the most unusual evening tea my sister and I had ever shared.
IJ
I had rarely felt much cause to experience joy on behalf of someone else.
Happiness, because someone else was happy, not as a parasitic feeding impulse, but as a true empathetic experience.
Alyra had been one of the first real experiences in sharing another's joy, properly, symbiotically, and genuinely for me.
I'd grown to quite like the fiery little Human-turned-Gryphon. She came from a place of even fewer preconceptions about me, and my kind, than even her Father, or Stan did.
She'd approached me as if I were someone she wanted to get to know, and care about, and absolutely nothing else. No prejudices of any kind, or at least none that applied to me.
Her name meant joy, and it was aptly chosen. For someone who had suffered so much, her joy was intensely infectious.
Like all of us who had suffered oppression, she understood the value of everyday things that others might take for granted.
I knew that her name meant joy, because I spoke more than a little Gryphic.
Not especially well by their standards, because the language was specifically designed to defy understanding by minds other than those of Gryphons.
But I knew it well enough now to be slightly conversant.
And too, the changes my rebellious Hive had undergone seemed to have made the understanding of it, gleaned from Hive-stored memories and experiences, somehow easier.
My friendship with Alyra, as well as her father, and even with Neyla, had grown to a point where I experienced pure, loving joy as a result of the joy they found in each other.
Stan had developed a deep bond with all of the Gryphons as well, Alyra included, which only served to further reinforce the bond between the young Gryphon, and I, through our mutual connection to Stan.
I had expected to feel quite a great deal of joy if Fyrenn and Neyla had ever decided to put aside the moronic emotional dodge, parry, and weave of the one-forms and truly *love* each other.
What I had not expected was for them to come back from their excursion to Earth having finally taken the only advice Stan and I could agree to give them; Just dispense with your avian stupidity and kiss!
Nor had I expected that not only would I feel a great deal of joy on their behalf, but that their joy on Stan's behalf, and mine would be quite so intense.
And that all that love, and joy, would bounce around between all of the others in the group, growing more intense with each new and unique way that it passed between any two participants in a relationship, be that family or friendship, within the group.
It was overwhelming.
I felt as though I'd never need to sleep again.
I felt as though I could have taken on an army, single-hoof, and won with both wings tied shut. Blindfolded.
Though the Gryphons would not feel it nearly as keenly, nor their new Draconic friend, everyone was doubtless experiencing more than a little additional joy and energy as I radiated my own feelings back at them as part of the symbiotic process.
I took a moment to look around the old oaken trestle table at each face, lit by the warm welcoming glow of the kitchen hearth, often wreathed in the steam from a cup, mug, or tankard of tea, cider, or coffee, and simply contemplate.
I'd never seen Fyrenn so happy. Alyra gave him almost unfathomable joy. I could sense their bond from yards away, through stone walls. It was stronger than most, even in the context of the unusual strength of loving parent/child relationships.
But somehow his new acceptance of Neyla had... I suppose the best word would be 'completed.' She had completed his joy, in a way that made all three of them almost incandescent in the visible spectrum.
Even Neyla, who had once very nearly shot me to death, had become best described as a 'friend.' I couldn't think of any other appropriate word, at any rate. I didn't blame her for the way she had behaved that day... All is fair in war.
It was briefly jarring, as it sometimes abruptly would be at random moments, to watch three Gryphons snuggled into each others' feathers, and to feel such intense emotions of joy, and belonging, and...
Well. How about that.
And love.
After everything our two races had done to each other; A Changeling who loved Gryphons. Gryphons who loved that Changeling back.
Maybe they were right. Maybe there was a God after all. I'm not entirely sure Chrysalis would have accepted any other explanation, even if she should have seen the moment with her own eyes.
I had to choke back a real, honest, sort of amusement at the mental image of Chrysalis' reaction to seeing Gryphons and Changelings fight side by side.
Oh how I hoped I would get to see the look on her muzzle someday...
Fyrenn and Neyla were too busy alternately staring into the eyes each of the other, or sharing a laugh with others around the table, to notice my gaze. Alyra caught it, however, and the radiance of her smile was like the sun on your face after a lifetime of living in darkness.
I could not help but smile back. A smile not just of joy, but of warm, deep love, projected with the intent that the young Gryphon would receive it, and feel it, and know it.
I so rarely smiled like that... Perhaps that reservation was not something I should take so much pride in, after all.
The love I felt for Alyra, in particular, not quite like a younger sister, or a daughter, but close... And the love she clearly felt in return...
That had to be protected.
The hope that one day there would be thousands like us... Tens of thousands... More...
Maybe my kind would even live among them, and they us, along with the others....
That future *had* to be made to exist, and all that threatened it burned from the face of Equestria with fervor. I could see no other way forward that was worth pursuing in the slightest.
In spite of what had happened to Celestia, and in spite of the six new faces in the group, the conversation was initially dominated by talk of Fyrenn and Neyla's intention to be wed, and then talk of the decision Stan and I had made.
I sat in silence, Stan did most of the talking. As usual.
I did not begrudge him. Sometimes it was nice to be able to hold back my own thoughts, purely for the joy of having that option.
Not to mention the fact that, though I would never tell him to his face, I loved to hear him talk. His bluntness might have been construed as rudeness. Even I found it abrasive sometimes. But it was deeply refreshing in the context of a life spent inside the Hive; A person laying bare their thoughts and feelings and intent aloud, and honestly, and without reservation.
I felt the same 'completeness of joy' coming off of him that was radiating from Fyrenn, and Neyla. Saw it in the gleam behind his eyes. The perk of his ears. His coat almost seemed to be brighter, and more vibrant, ever so slightly.
Holding him close under one wing was a revelation of joyful physically driven emotion, and an unexpected advantage of my relatively larger, Alicorn-like size.
In the vein of Alicorns, Celestia looked as if she was drinking in as much energy, and vitality, from the group as I was.
Somehow all the talk of love, and emotional fetters at last unlocked, and boundaries broken, and conventions shattered, seemed to be restoring some deep metaphysical part of her soul that had been withering away under the noxious fumes of war, and political strife.
It was odd to see her both humbled, but also somehow revitalized. The physical signs of aging and exhaustion, that had been so readily apparent before she departed, were completely gone.
She was also clearly putting on a brave face to cover for the lingering of some considerably less positive emotions.
I couldn't discern the exact combination of fear for the future, regret for the past, and dysphoria with the present.
But I could guess.
It was at her hooves and horn that I'd been forced to *be* a one-form.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a small perverse satisfaction that she was now having to experience a small part of what she had done to me.
Merciful action or no, and though it had opened doors for me that otherwise would have remained shut fast, when she had locked me away from my natural powers it had been like losing a significant part of myself; Days and nights spend constantly straining to feel a piece of me that had always been there, and meeting only a strange, discomforting void.
For three years.
While death would not quite have been preferable, it certainly would have been much easier. And less painful. I knew dysphoria of the body like a wounded veteran knows an old familiar scar.
And so more than the tickle of satisfaction, I felt a flood of empathy.
I would not wish what had happened to me on Chrysalis herself.
Well... Perhaps on Chrysalis, on whom I wished the very fire of the Gryphons' 'Hell' every day, but no creature else that I could think of.
The Humans had fought what amounted to a war with the PER over the issue of the need to choose one's form, rather than have a form foisted upon them. They were right to spill blood unashamedly in defense of that freedom. If you asked me, I would have told you they had not gone nearly far enough in reprisal.
Had I the forces to spare, even in the slightest, I would have pledged warriors of my own to help exterminate the PER, based on principle alone.
I'd suffered that self-same violation, and escaped, by some miracle. I knew what it was like; Better to see any who would perpetuate that horror so callously laid dead in savaged bleeding heaps, than to risk the propagation of their unthinkable acts for the sake of 'diplomacy.'
Yet another point in which my Hive was in total agreement with Gryphon-kind.
And yet another point of contention I felt towards Celestia.
She had spared her own nephew's life, though he had abused royal privilege to help the PER force their will on countless Humans.
I would have cut off his head.
In public.
But perhaps that was as much the old Hive talking, as my own rage. Chrysalis ruled through fear, and by merciless examples made of any who put so much as a fleck of chitin out of line.
We could no more afford to descend that dark path, than the one of acquiescence and political convenience that the Equestrians had walked for so long.
Plenty of blame for atrocities to go around.
I'd come so very close myself to the precipice of so many poor decisions...
My gaze shifted from Celestia to her sister, almost as if by direct mental association to the thread of concept.
There was a Pony who understood regret. She did an excellent job of passing for stable to those around her, even her sister... But to an empath, she was like a singularity of sadness, regret, recrimination, and fear.
It cycled off her in regular waves that were overwhelming to me when not suppressed by a strong atmosphere of other, more positive feelings, like the ones in the kitchen that night.
So I'd done my best to avoid spending too much time with her. It wasn't personal; She was simply physically painful, and draining, for any of my kind to be around without the presence of others to anchor and redirect her emotional state.
How she was coping, I couldn't even begin to comprehend.
I'd known constant fear, and pain, in the Hive.
Like many Drones, I'd even had flirtations with the idea of ending my own life to escape the horror.
The fact that she was still standing, taking strides forward, and even fooling everyone else into thinking she was completely unassailable, and calm...
That spoke to an inner strength I could only envy, and hope to one day half-emulate, at best.
If anyone at the table could muster equivalent strength to Luna, it would have been Skye.
I did not know what had happened to her exactly, but I intended to find out; The sorrow that she felt was so intense that it seemed to come from deep within the marrow of her bones. She, like Luna, was hiding it, perhaps even coping, exceptionally well.
But there was a darkness there that I recognized. Intimately.
When I had first met Skye, I'd hated her almost as much as I'd once hated Stan.
Had I not found such a deep, and unexpected love, and connection with Stan, I suspect I would have instead found it with Skye. As physically attractive as my mate-to-be was, Skye was certainly... Moreso, in her own unique way.
That was a door, however, that I knew for certain to be closed. From both sides.
Many in my Hive had taken to complex, free-form, multiparty relationships, not dissimilar to Pony herds. The depth of unique connection to many beings at once was second nature to most.
But some, myself included, had felt an inexplicable magnetism to exclusivity in our deeper relationships. My best theory was that we were just contrarian; We had been forced to partake in group intimacy our whole lives.
We wanted something different, as much to prove that we had a choice, as anything else.
And then there was Skye's own recalcitrance.
I'd caught a glimpse of it when we shared minds to infiltrate the Hive. Later, looking out for it, I'd noticed it whenever she was close to Varan... And to me.
An odd blend of emotions denied, sorrow, then acceptance, and finally peace.
The cycle spun itself out with some frequency, and by and by I had come to realize that, in the same way as my own desire for exclusivity in romance, her total aversion to it was a coping mechanism in its own right.
That begged many questions, chiefly among them to wonder what trauma it was she had suffered in her past that had closed that door forever in her heart.
She too caught my gaze, and I left her with a fleeting glance of mixed inquisitiveness, and empathy, and even a little openness. I hoped she would follow up soon. I hated initiating conversation.
I never knew how to begin. I just could not seem to master that particular skill.
Another consequence of being Hive-spawned.
I noted with some amusement that she had positioned herself between Fyrenn, and one of the new faces in the room.
Taranis. The name spoke aptly of thunder. Power. Strength.
It was immediately apparent why Fyrenn, for I had no doubt it had been Fyrenn, had asked the Dragon to join the group. Aside from his peak physical condition, and warrior's bearing, there was a powerful sense of experience, stability, calm, wisdom, and intelligence to Taranis.
Most Dragons of a certain age exuded those qualities, but the particular flavor of his emotions spoke to someone who I suspected would get along not only very well with Skye, and Varan, but myself as well.
Once more, I cursed my lack of skill at making a beginning. Perhaps I could provide an opportunity for Fyrenn or Skye to more directly introduce us, and that might help.
As far as the other newcomers, I knew who Hutchinson and Aston were by reputation. All of the Gryphons spoke often enough of them, and highly enough, that I had no trouble reconciling the visibly apparent depth of their emotional connection to each other, and to the rest of the group.
I knew in time they would begin conversations with me, without the need for any prodding; Gryphon curiosity is almost as potent as Human curiosity. Gryphon converts are usually curious far past the point of propriety.
They had doubtless heard of me as well. They would come to me, I needn't go to them. That was a relief; It was so much easier when the other person was the one making the beginning.
William, Shierel, and Miles were more of a mystery, but not an overly complicated one. Though certainly very distinct in their relationships, and personalities, they had a combined energy quite akin to that of Fyrenn, Neyla, and Alyra.
From snippets of conversation, bearing, and emotional signatures, along with a little deduction, it was easy to conclude that William and Miles were Converts, while Shierel was a native.
She kept eyeing me like I was... Not quite a threat, or an enemy... But not a friend either.
At least, not yet.
In Miles I felt the same melange of loss as in Alyra, but much more readily because he was a Pony. And much more raw... He was not as far in his journey to peace as Alyra. Not by half.
William just seemed overwhelmed. And perhaps unsure of himself. I could readily empathize with that.
Fyrenn had felt somewhat similar when I first met him. I'd struggled with those same emotions.
Still struggled with them, if I was being brutally honest with myself.
We were both in good company for winning that struggle.
The other four occupants of the room were all universally awash in positive feelings, caught up thoroughly in sharing the joys of reunion, and happy news.
Sildinar and Shining Armor were royalty both; Like everyone they understood that darker topics of discussion would be forthcoming in the morning. And more so than all the others, with the exception of Luna, and Fyrenn who seemed to be similarly minded, there was an electrically charged undercurrent of anticipation from them.
Kephic and Varan were so overwhelmed with joy for their brother that nothing else had even a feather's breadth of room to take root in their hearts, at least for that one warm moment.
Eighteen people, counting myself, was a large crowd for me. Another consequence of my particular reaction to freedom. I hated crowds. But with this group...
It wasn't comfortable...
But it was bearable.
And worth bearing.
Like lowering oneself into a scalding hot saltwater bath to ease bruises, cuts, aches, and pains. The shock would pass, and though one could not stand the heat and salt forever, for a time it would provide rejuvenation, and peace.
I rested my head atop Stan's, breathed deep, and put as much of a stop to time as I could.
The moment was special; Too much of my life had been spent living out horrors I wished I could forget. Though most of my life was now much more happily worth remembering, some moments truly stood out.
This moment?
The first time I felt as if I had a full, complete family?
I deeply wanted to remember.
Fyrenn
That 'evening tea' stretched on well past the point of 'evening' and deep into a night-time second dinner, and more tea, and a snack after that.
I don't think there was a single one of us that wanted it to end.
Half because it was so special for all of us to finally be together in the same room, all linked together by various connections of friendship and family ties...
But also half because everyone knew exactly what kind of soul crushing practical discussions morning would soon bring. The matter of revealing Celestia's condition to her people. The sharing of all information about the Nightmare, from both sides of the Barrier.
Dealing with more political fallout from the new Gryphon/Changeling alliance, and the expected Changeling/Equestrian alliance.
The first full meeting of the Council of War that Luna had called.
We were going to be equal parts buried in politics, and tactics.
Who could begrudge us one night to forget it all, and be happy together?
Even IJ seemed truly happy. I wondered how rare that state was for her. Hoped that it would be increasingly common the more time she spent with Stan.
With all of us, if I had my way.
In so many ways, it was like a cozier prequel to the fulfillment of my vision... The strangest little clan to ever walk the surface of Equestria.
Of all those at the table, Bill and Miles seemed most withdrawn. That made sense. Apparently Shierel had once made Neyla's acquaintance, and she was intimately familiar with Equestrian life in general.
To Father, and Son, the whole of the world was new again. It was one thing to be a Gryphon, or a Pony. It was another thing entirely to experience Equestria with those heightened senses for the first time.
The food alone was mind boggling, let alone sights, smells... Just the feeling of a world that had life in it beyond the Human, and the microbial.
Taking all that in, together with such an emotional social situation... I knew from experience that they would both want to sleep in, and avoid large groups for several days at least.
But I could see their wonderment. And even contentment.
They knew as much as I did that the right choice had been made.
I kept glancing to Skye, and to Celestia, to see if either were in danger of spiraling into recriminations, or depressive thoughts... But they seemed to be some of the loudest, happiest voices at the table.
Perhaps a touch of overcompensation. Overkill is better than underkill any day of the week... But I made a mental note to keep close tabs on Skye especially. Celestia was Luna's sister. Skye was mine.
I knew Luna would look after Celestia in ways I simply could not... I didn't have the benefit of centuries of familial connection with her.
As to Skye... We'd see to official family ties soon enough.
Luna had mentioned that the King and Queen were arriving the next day to participate in the War Council. That would give me an opening to talk about family ties, wedding arrangements, and perhaps much more.
As much as I dreaded the political maneuverings to come... I was excited to make a start on the next part of my plan. There was so much for us all to fight for... I'd be damned if I was going to lie down quietly and take extinction on the chin.
To hell with that.
Too much to live for now.
Too many possibilities...
As the fourteenth rolled over into the fifteenth, Celestia, Luna, Sildinar, and Shining Armor politely took their leave to find some much needed rest. We'd all be forced to follow suit soon enough.
But no one else moved to join them for a moment, and I recognized an opportunity.
I gripped my tankard tightly, allowing the heat of freshly poured coffee to seep through into my claws as I inhaled deeply, and rose to my hind legs.
All thirteen pairs of eyes snapped to me, and I reflexively reached out with one claw towards Neyla. She took it in one of hers, and squeezed firmly.
Dear God in Heaven... How did I ever survive without that before?
"My friends... And my family. It has been a long road, for each of us, to end up here in this room. Together. And we have a long way to go if we are going to make it through to a day when we don't have to think of war, and survival, with every sunrise."
I spent several seconds locking eyes with each of them before continuing, ending at last with Alyra, and then Neyla, who returned my smile with the kind of expression that makes a heart melt into a puddle of bliss.
"Kephic, Varan, Alyra, and I already share not just an immediate family tie, but a clan. Kh'yn'eos. It means 'battle-brothers.' "
I returned my eyes to first Kephic's, and then Varan's. I'd not had much chance to discuss what I was about to propose with them. Their potential reaction made me more nervous than anything... They'd built the clan, a clan of two at first, from the assets of the ruins of their former families.
Though they had no claim to land, the name certainly carried some reputation with it. And more than a little sentimentality.
They both smiled, and nodded to me. They'd certainly heard some of Neyla's dreams before. And mine. It wasn't a terribly difficult leap to intuit what I was about to say. The genuineness of their support, so visibly apparent in the warmth of their smiles... Even Varan's...
I had to fight back a few tears as I stumbled a little through my next words.
"Now? We are more than just brothers. We are Sisters. Fathers. Mothers. Sons and Daughters. Friends. Soon more of us will share a direct family tie. But whether bonded as siblings, mates, or parent and child... I want to encompass that together with our friendships as well."
Neyla squeezed my claw again, and I couldn't help myself; I smiled, and the warmth in my chest rose to meet my voice, lending it strength, and surety.
"I want us all... Every one of us in this room... The old friends, and the new... To be one clan."
I swept my eyes across each one again, swiftly, before making the leap to the more ambitious point. The loftier goal.
"I want us to be the start of something better for this world. For our children. For all that come after. A clan without borders. Someday soon? A nation. A place where we can put to work eons of lessons from this world, and from Earth, to make a better place for all. Free of old preconceived ways of doing things."
Now I was getting nods and smiles all around. Even Taranis had inclined his head, though precisely what that meant, I wasn't entirely sure.
I steeled myself and forged ahead to the final point. The one that would land so well with most in the room, but would probably raise at least a few eyebrows with others.
"And within that clan? I want us all to be one family. No matter how large our endeavour grows... I want us to stay together. To fight together... To live together... To work to make the world better for all. Together. To love, and laugh... And enjoy life. Together."
That brought about a bit of a pause. I knew that didn't necessarily mean anything negative, but it put my heart right up into my throat. I gave everyone a few moments to process the weight of what I'd said, before I pressed on, looking first to Tarnais, then to Sheirel, Miles, and finally Bill.
"Some of you I've known for years. Others for just days. Some of you are connected to my family already through close bonds... Some of you are new friends to us all. And for you? This will be a big change. But one of the most wonderful things about life is that we can *choose.* We can choose to work actively to be friends. To be family. To make good of something new."
I glanced right at Varan and Kephic, and inclined my head to them. Their smiles told me everything I needed to know. But I knew what I had to say so that the moment would sit right in everyone's minds in future.
"I know this represents a different kind of change for some of us. I'm asking my brothers to merge clan, and family, with something unexpected. Something different. So we're not going to do this unless first they agree... And then everyone else in this room. Every last one."
I nodded once, gestured expansively with both claws, and then sat back to my haunches with a deep sigh. It felt good to have the dream given form with words to others; An idea born of so much talk with Neyla and Alyra on cold winter nights, and of a vivid vision, in the heat of battle.
Alive, and kicking, at last.
The question now being... Would it live to see the world beyond that small, cozy staff kitchen in the basement of Canterlot Castle?
To my surprise, Varan shared a 'Me first?' glance with Kephic, and then rose to speak. He very rarely took the lead in matters of spoken word.
"Fyrenn... We have shared much with you these past years. Battle, and wounds. Struggles, and victories. Hopes... And dreams. Most importantly, I think, we have shared friendships and family ties. Through you, we have become connected to others in very unexpected ways. And ways most welcome at that..."
It was the golden Gryphon's turn to pierce each of us with his eyes, ending at last on Kephic as he completed the course of his thoughts. The tone of Varan's voice left no room for question, or misinterpretation.
"Like most of you, Kephic and I have suffered much loss. Indeed, I do not believe there is a single one of the fourteen in this room who can not point to at least one serious loss of family in their past. But here we all sit... A product, more than anything... More than loss... More than pain... Of the love we have for each other. We can think of no better way to honor that love... To move forward into the future with you. With you *all.* We would both see this dream take flight, and gladly."
Kephic smirked, and his right ear twitched in amusement as Varan shot him a 'your turn' expression. The speckled Gryphon threw up his claws, and shrugged.
"How am I supposed to top that brother? What else could I even say?"
Varan raised an eyebrow, and a tiny smile tugged at one corner of his beak as he resumed his seat, his response delivered with all his usual, magnificent deadpan.
"Nothing. You were not meant to 'top it.'"
Skye grinned outright, and gave Varan a mock punch in the shoulder. The depth of warmth in the smile he returned to her, as she spoke, said more than any further words ever could have on his part.
"You know I'm in. It took me three years to screw up the courage to ask. I can't imagine ever feeling like I properly belong anywhere else. With anyone else. No one else in either world is weird enough to handle me."
I couldn't resist a chuckle. I turned my gaze to Neyla, and she reached out not entirely unexpectedly to plant a soft kiss on my cheek before speaking.
"I dreamt for many, many years of a clan of my own. I never dared to dream that I might find, within that, a mate. A family. Until I met you. You have made all of my life... Every aspect of it... Better. Including my dreams. *Our* dreams. I want to make those dreams real."
Alyra wormed her way up between us, pressing between our chests, and tucking her head into my neck as she chimed in.
"We're already family. We're just making it official... And inviting a few new friends. Life is nothing without family. I'm so grateful to have this one!"
I ruffled her crest with one claw, and hugged her close with the muscles of my neck, looking up to Hutch, and Aston next. I could see them both fighting tears. Hutch more than any of us.
He shared a loving glance with Aston, before she spoke for them both.
"Not every soldier gets to stick with the family they make in the trenches. Hutch and I are lucky to have you all. We'd be honored."
The expression Hutch gave me threatened to make his silent tears very, very infectious. I inclined my head, and shifted my eyes to Stan, and IJ.
Stan smiled eagerly, then caught himself, and shared a nervous questioning look with IJ. To my surprise, but bemusement, her gaze was firm. Her mind was made up... But in what way?
He opened his mouth to speak, but she laid one glistening pearlescent hoof against his muzzle, and then turned to face me.
"I know Stanley will say 'yes.' He is as much a brother to you, and yours, as Kephic or Varan. For my part? I have never had a family before. I was spawned, and raised, in a command hierarchy. Until we crossed paths? I would have readily slain any of you on sight, without particularly questioning the motive behind that action."
Her face softened to a tenderness that I'd only very, very rarely glimpsed on her muzzle before. And almost always in regards to Stan. I felt in that moment that I knew her heart, but her next words brought a great deal of relief nonetheless.
"You each have taught me much about friendship. And about family. If my people are to have a future? It must be a part of the one you envision for this world. Anything else will leave us less than free. And as for me, in particular? I would be... Gratified. To have a family."
I nodded slowly, taking in a great deal more emotion from her muzzle, and ears, than her words. 'Gratified' was one of those understatements she liked to make bluntly when she was trying to hold back more effusive language, for the sake of appearing staid.
We both knew that deep down, she was probably questioning just how in the world she had ended up here, in such an unearned place of joy, and connection. But family isn't something you earn. It is given mutually, and unconditionally as a gift.
And we both knew that too, whether she could have said as much in concrete words, or not.
At last we came to the four who would be least certain of all. Taranis rumbled deep in his chest, and tapped his front right claws on the table in sequence, before speaking after what seemed like an interminable eternity.
"I remain... Undecided. As to the question of clan. I can not pledge myself to a flag, nor cause, without more time spent at the side of those who helm it, seeing them as they truly are in the crucible of war."
He raised one claw, and tilted his head slightly as a new inflection entered his words. My breath caught in my throat.
"But. I think, with time, I will find myself quite amenable to your cause. If I were made to guess? I would say that I will much more likely find myself saying yes, than no. As to the question of family, however..."
He shared a quick smile with Hutch, and I felt my heart stop alongside my breath.
"...As to the question of family? I have been without family for a very long time. And... I too would very much like to end that loneliness. Hutch and I are brothers forged in fire. That is reason enough. Let alone that I, thus far, have found each and every one of you to be honest, true, and brave. There is no need to give extended contemplation to that invitation. Why not make official that which is already true, in at least one way?"
My heart started back up. But not my breathing. My eyes finally came to rest on William, and his family.
I could only imagine the rush of thought, and emotions going through their heads. It was an educated imagining... It had been like a tidal wave of joy, and love... But also stress, and anxiety when Kephic and Varan had asked me into their family.
The trick, as I'd learned, was to let love be the guidestone. Push all else away. Think of the joy of the future. Not the fears of the present, or the pain of the past.
I wanted to say it all to them. Especially to Bill. To explain everything I knew, and remembered, about being in exactly his position; Frightened, and walled off... Afraid of failing a test that wasn't a test at all.
All I could do was give the most inviting, hopeful expression I could muster, and hope that it was enough.
He shared a long, deep look with Shierel. I could tell that just as much was passing back and forth between them, in that moment, as Neyla and I regularly seemed to be able to silently share between us.
The exact emotional content of that unspoken conversation was completely inscrutable.
Finally, they both looked down at Miles. He stared up at them for a moment, then stole a quick glance at Alyra, who smiled at him as warmly, and kindly, as she'd ever smiled in her life.
I saw something click in Miles' expression. A connection I'd almost prophetically hoped... *Known* would be made...
That moment of connection was readily visible to Shierel and William as well. And I could see the acceptance on their faces, perhaps more so on Shierel's.... But it was enough.
It was a start.
I thought she might speak for them, but it was Bill who opened his beak, haltingly at first, then with increased conviction as the truth sank in for him as much as for the rest of us.
"You... Are all just like us... You've been so alone before... So empty... You know what that's like. And yet you're all so welcoming... So open... How could we say no? You freely offer so much love... Miles needs that love. We all... *I* need that connection..."
He'd been staring at the floor for the back half of his fragmented response. I rose, and made my way around the table to him, offering Shierel a quick smile, and nod, before placing one claw on Bill's shoulder.
When he looked up, his eyes were full of tears.
I didn't know him all that well, at that moment... But I didn't need to. I knew him well enough to know that I wanted to share the joy I'd found in family with him, and his mate, and their son.
Throwing caution to the wind, I pulled him into a quick hug. Shorter than I was used to, but I needed to make concessions to his fear still. Patience would win out in the end where fear could not. I'd been on the receiving end of that before.
As I released him from the brief embrace he nodded, half-smiled, and began wiping the tears from his eyes with the feathers of his left wing.
I raised my tankard above the center of the table, and looked each one of them in the eye again as they caught on, and took up glasses, cups, and mugs, pressing them together one by one, until in the end we all stood together.
"To family."
My family.
Thank God.
It was good to be home.