Noooo! T-this can't be possible!
Chapter 1: What the buck?
It was just a wonderful morning in Canterlot Castle. Sunbutt's sun was high in the sky, and the royal sisters were having breakfast.
It was just a week after Twilight Sparkle had been turned into an alicorn, and she was already making millions of discoveries.
Two days ago, she had taken a trip to the sun and discovered that it was made of hydrogen, and had gotten the award for being The First Pony To Set Hoof On The Sun.
Twilight was currently on the moon, and upon her return, she'd get the award for being The Second Pony To Set Hoof On The Moon, as the first was Princess Luna. You know, when she was banished there...
Celestia was just about to open her mouth to say something, when suddenly somepony opened the doors with such force that they fell off their hinges, and onto the very useless and very annoying Royal Guards, who had been too busy arguing to even notice the doors falling, and move themselves out of the way.
Standing where the doors to the Royal Dining Hall used to be, was her. Twilight Sparkle. Before the stunned princesses could utter a single word, Twilight screamed excitedly, "PRINCESS CELESTIA! PRINCESS LUNA! I'VE JUST FOUND OUT SOMETHING THAT COULD CHANGE THE HISTORY OF EQUESTRIA FOREVER!"
This was what she yelled every time after making a discovery. Little did anypony know that this time, it would change the History Of Equestria forever.
"What is-", Celestia started to say, but she was cut off by Luna.
The night princess asked, "What is it? What have you discovered about my moon?"
Sitting down, Twilight levitated her notes in front of her face and started, "I've discovered a couple of things. Such as: There is no air or water on the moon, making it impossible for ponies to live there. There's lots of craters on the moon's surface because of meteorites. And..."
Twilight took a deep breath before continuing, "The moon has none of its own light, even though it's the brightest thing in the night sky."
"Then how does it shine?", asked both princesses.
"It reflects the sun's light that falls onto its surface.", replied Twilight.
The lunar princess dropped her mug of coffee. She screamed in the Canterlot Voice, "THIS CANNOT BE TRUE!"
"But it is, Princess Luna.", said Twilight.
"I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!", Luna shook her head. "I'M GOING THERE MYSELF!"
"Do you want me to help you with that?", asked Celestia, a smile making its way onto her face.
"As much as you like banishing ponies to the moon," Luna started sarcastically, "no thank you Tia." Turning around and getting a box full of coffee, pizza and pillows, Luna asked, "But you could send these to the moon for me."
"With pleasure.", smiled Celestia, and was about to send the boxes to the moon when Twilight held up a hoof.
"Wait.", she said. "Why would you need that amount of pizza and coffee? Isn't that too much?"
"Of course not.", replied Luna. "Now that I think about it, I'd probably need more stuff while I'm on the moon."
In the blink of an eye, the fridge which had previously contained whipped cream, chocolate cake, pizza, cheese, and cold coffee ☕ , was now empty.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?", shrieked Celestia in the Canterlot Voice. "WHAT WILL I EAT? YOU CAN'T TAKE MY CHOCOLATE CAKE! I WILL-"
Luna cut the screaming Sunbutt off by saying, "Don't worry, my dear Sunnybutter." Celestia's face became red as Luna used her full nickname. "At least I haven't taken the chefs."
"I guess you're right, Moonybutter.", said Celestia smirking as Luna's face became red as a tomato.
"I'm always right, Sunbutt.", said Luna, getting over her embarrassment.
"Not always, Moonbutt.", retorted Celestia, red as a tomato.
Twilight who had remained quiet during this entire exchange turned to Luna and asked, "Did you just call Celestia...Sunbutt, and did she call you...Moonbutt?"
"Of course.", answered Luna. "We've been calling each other that ever since we were foals."
"Oh-kay.", said Twilight, surprised. She whispered in Celestia's ear, "Why does Princess Luna need to take that much food to the moon? It's not like she's going there for a couple of weeks, or is she?"
"You don't know Luna.", whispered Celestia. "She isn't going there for a couple of weeks, it's just that she loves food."
"I see.", was all that Twilight said.
"Celestia?", Luna asked, waving her hoof in front of Celestia's face. "Could you send these to the moon for me?"
"Sure thing.", replied Celestia. Her horn glowed, and a minute later, all the piles were on the moon. And so was our dear Moonbutt.
From the moon, using the Canterlot Voice, Luna screamed, "SUNBUTT! HOW DARE YOU SEND ME TO THE MOON! IT WAS THE WORST TIMING EVER! NOW I WON'T BE ABLE TO GET ANYMORE COFFEE!"
Celestia simply covered her eyes with her forehooves until Luna was done screaming. Twilight just stared.
And on the moon, Princess Moonybutter Luna was eating pizza with extra cheese on top.
Then she drank some coffee, giving her more energy. Eating a large slice of chocolate cake with whipped cream on top, Luna walked, exploring the moon.
After walking for a long time, Luna suddenly yelled, "HOW THE BUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW IF THE MOON HAS ITS OWN LIGHT OR NOT?"
And back on Equestria, a mother covered her foal's ears, only for the foal to ask, "Mom? What does buck mean?"
The mother was angry as a hen whose eggs had been smashed.
A day passed, and Luna realized something that broke her heart forever. She fired a beam from her horn, and took a piece of the moon with her to Equestria.
Once in her room, Luna made sure that it was dark and then looked at the piece. But it wasn't glowing.
Luna screamed, "NOOOO! T-THIS CAN'T BE POSSIBLE!"
"What can't be possible?", asked Celestia who had heard Luna's scream from her throne room. "Luna? I thought that you'd be gone for longer than that."
"Hasn't a thousand years away from you been long enough?", asked Luna bitterly. "And two things can't be possible. A thousand years ago, when I was banished to the moon, I made some friends, and now they're...they're...g-gone. And the second thing is that what Twilight said is true. My moon has no light of its own."
Luna dropped the piece of the moon which was in her hoof, and started crying into Celestia's multicolored mane.
"There, there. It's not so bad.", Celestia tries to comfort her sister, but does a terrible job of it.
"Of course it is!", exclaims Luna, no longer crying. She wipes her face to remove all traces of the tears, and gets an idea. "Come with me.", she says and then teleports both of them to the dining hall.
"Luna, what are we doing here?", Celestia asked. "Are we going to eat some cake?"
"Yeah, we are.", Luna replies. "Chocolate cake with sprinkles on top."
Celestia's mouth begins to water and she licks her lips as Luna levitates a chocolate cake to them. Luna starts cutting it, and just as Celestia is about to take a slice, the cake exploded.
"NOOO! My chocolate cake!", cries Celestia over the new destroyed cake.
Luna smirks and says, "There, there. It's not so bad." She says exactly what Celestia had told her before.
"You did this, didn't you?", asks Celestia angrily.
Luna put her forehooves in the air. "Yes, I did, but it was kind of funny to see you cry over a destroyed cake."
"You. Will. Pay. For. This.", Celestia says, putting a space between each word.
"I wish I could, but sadly for you, my wallet's empty.", Luna says, pulling out an empty wallet.
"You better run.", Celestia warns.
"Why?", Luna asks before teleporting to the moon. On the moon, Luna was eating her pizza that had been left behind.
'Now that I know what Twilight discovered is true,' she thought. I'll need a way to get my moon its own light. Maybe it's time to pay the sun a visit.
Upon teleporting there, it was so hot that Luna quickly had to put a keep cool spell on herself and her food.
Getting a shovel out of nowhere, Princess Moonybutter Luna, scooped up a piece to the sun and put it in a jar.
Teleporting back to the moon because it was cooler, that piece was now subjected to Luna's experiments.
I feel sorry for that piece. Being the thing that Luna does experiments on is nothing but pure torture. I'm not kidding.
Her horn glowing, Luna declared, "I shall get the light out of you, I promise!"
In a few seconds, the piece was engulfed by Luna's magic as she tried to drain the light out of it.
Unsuccessfully, I might add. Instead of draining the light out of the piece, it exploded with such force that Luna was nearly knocked off the moon.
I feel extremely sorry for that piece now. Like I said before, being the thing that Luna does experiments on is nothing but pure torture.
Full of anger, Luna turned the sun into a giant pizza and- No. I don't think I should continue that sentence, because it would lead to discord type chaos. Which I'd rather do without, thank you very much.
Let me start over.
Full of anger, Luna catapulted to the sun with a catapult made out of pizza. But halfway, she started falling and had to fly there.
Once on the sun's surface, Luna said, "Buck you, pizza catapult. I thought that you were supposed to help me."
Using magic, ten jars and a shovel floated next to Luna, and she wasted no time in filling them.
When she was done, Luna noticed that the sun was three times smaller than when she had first landed there. Hopefully Celestia wouldn't notice?
Luna teleported to the moon and opened a jar to start her second experiment. But sadly for Luna, the piece of sun managed to turn into a star and escaped.
Luna angrily threw the jar off the moon, not caring if it hit anypony. And a few seconds later...
The Great And Powerful Trixie was standing on stage, in the middle of one of her shows. The audience was cheering, and she was just about to do her Jump Of Wonder, when suddenly, without warning a jar fell out of the sky and hit her head. Hard.
"BUCK THAT!", was all Trixie screamed as she fell unconscious. And back on the moon, Luna was doing...
"What the buck? Nooo!", Luna said as her 5th jar fell off the moon, and probably gave somepony a serious concussion.
Four falling jars later, the 10th and final jar was in Luna's hooves. Her magic took the lid off, and prevented the piece from turning into a star and escaping.
Smiling, Luna levitated a cup of coffee over to herself and started drinking it, only for the cup to fall, spilling its contents into the jar.
Luna started screaming, "NOOOO!", only for it to turn into, "YESSSS! I'VE DONE IT! I'VE DONE IT! ALL THANKS TO YOU, MY DEAR COFFEE! I'VE TAKEN THE LIGHT OUT OF THAT PIECE!"
Luna was using the Canterlot Voice, so everypony on Equestria could hear her. After dancing around in victory, and more foalish (I said foalish, not foolish) behavior, Luna smiled, grinning like the mad scientist she had become. She knew what to do now, and nopony would be able to stop her.
I decided to ask a question, (yes me) and since there was nopony else to ask it, I had to step in. I asked, "Um, Luna, what happened to that piece?"
"Who said that?", she asked.
"I did.", I reply.
"Who are you?", she questions.
"Me? I'm KingSombraTheTyrantRuler, or as I'm known amongst my friends, King Sombra. And my closest friends call me Sombra.", I tell her. "But since you're such a beautiful mare, you could call me Sombra."
"SOMBRA!", she yells, flattered as she is. "COME HERE AND FIGHT, YOU...YOU...UM...YOU...UH...YOU...AUGH! I DON'T KNOW."
"Listen Luna," I start. "I'm a different Sombra. Not the one you know. I don't enslave ponies, or rule the Crystal Empire."
"Oh-kay.", she says. "Wait a second! What do you do then?"
"It's private.", I tell her. "Um...Stallion's things."
"Oh.", she takes a sip from her coffee.
"So, could you answer my question?", I ask her.
"Could you um...repeat it?", she asks me. "I kind of forgot it."
She looks away in embarrassment, and I repeat my question. "Oh. My question was, what happened to that piece?"
"What piece?", Luna looks, following my gaze and says, "Oh, that piece."
"Yes, that piece.", I confirm. "So, what happened to it?"
Luna looks inside the jar and says, "It turned into ice cream?!"
"Interesting." I remember something and tell her, "I've got to go now. Bye. Forget that we ever met."
"Wait!", says Luna, and I stop. "Let me see what you look like."
I was about to tell her that I couldn't, but she gave me her best adorable eyes, and I sighed. "Sure, give me a sec."
Luna is completely wordless as she looks at me. My perfectly flowing shiny black mane and tail, my soft fluffy grey fur, my blood red eyes, and my charming smirk. "Done checking me out?", I ask Luna, pulling her from her thoughts.
"Oh, um...sorry.", she says, embarrassed.
"It's fine.", I tell her. I kiss her hoof and say, "I believe this is farewell, my beautiful mare."
Luna blushes and I disappear in a flash of lightning. All memories of our meeting are erased from Luna's head, but tonight she shall be dreaming of a handsome stallion who came to rescue her from the tyrant Sunbutt, and her Solar guards.
And then me, her handsome hero shall kiss her and we will- SNAP OUT OF YOUR DAYDREAMS! My mind reminds me. Heh he, I guess I got a little carried away. Back to the story it is!
Luna stays frozen until she remembers about her experiment. A few days later, this is what happened...
Princess Luna, the princess of the night has gone crazy! She is currently flying to the sun with an endless supply of coffee!
I wonder, why does she need that? But I should know. I'm the one who is writing this, after all.
But I don't know, so let me think why she's doing that. To replace the sun with coffee? Nah, Celestia would've stopped her by now.
To turn the sun into an ocean of coffee? Impossible. Then what?
Oh, I know! She's doing that to destroy the sun and make Celestia smash all her precious teacups in anger!
Yes! That seems possible. Anyways, let me carry on...
Once on the sun, Luna poured her endless supply of coffee over the sun, and what happened next was the loudest and biggest explosion in all of Equestria.
The sun had exploded. Everypony immediately stopped what they were doing, and looked up at the sky just in time to see the sun burst into tiny pieces of...ice cream? Yes, it was ice cream.
Sadly, the ponies couldn't move quick enough to avoid being covered by the ice cream. And while this happened, what was Sunbutt doing? I'll show you...
Her Royal Princess, Sunnybutter Celestia, or as some call her, Celestia, was just standing on her balcony, with a cup of tea when...
She heard BOOM!- That was the sun exploding and turning into ice cream.
And then she heard BANG!- That was Luna's endless coffee supply machine falling and hitting the ground.
Next was CRASH!- That was Luna falling through the air and landing on her coffee supply machine.
And next was..."AAAAHHHH!"- That was Celestia screaming in horror and pain. She continued, "AAAAHHHH! NOOOOO! MY SUNNNNN! LUNA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? LUNA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? LUNA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? LUNA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? LUNA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? LUNA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"
And then she had to stop for breath. And when this was happening, Luna was doing...
Her Royal Princess, Moonybutter Luna, or as some call her, Luna, was flying above the sun with her endless supply of coffee machine, pouring coffee onto the sun, when suddenly...BOOM! The sun exploded and turned into ice cream as it fell.
And then BANG! Her coffee supply machine fell and hit the ground.
And then there was CRASH! That was Luna falling and landing on top of her endless coffee supply machine.
And next was..."AAAAHHHH!"- That was Celestia screaming in horror and pain. She continued, "AAAAHHHH! NOOOOO! MY SUNNNNN! LUNA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? LUNA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? LUNA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? LUNA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? LUNA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? LUNA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"
And after that, Luna saw Celestia land just in front of her, and ask, or ahem, scream in the Canterlot Voice, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE LUNA? WHAT. HAVE. YOU. DONE?"
Luna uncovered her ears and replied, "I...uh...um...was...um...angry about the fact that...um...your sun had its own light, and that my moon did not. So I um...kind of went um...what do you call it? Twilight crazy? Yeah, that. And I kind of poured coffee over the sun, making it explode and turn into ice cream."
"I know just how to punish you.", Sunnybutter smirked.
"P-please not another b-banishment.", stuttered Luna in fear, seeing that mad glint in her sister's eyes.
"Oh, don't worry my dear Moonbutt. It's going to be more than just a banishment for you this time round.", an evil smirk made its way onto Celestia's, or should I say Sunbutt's face? Yeah, Sunbutt. She said, "Moonybutter Luna Moonbutt, this punishment will make you regret that you had ever set hoof on my sun."
Luna gulped as Celestia said, "I'm going to do a little experiment and see what happens to the moon when I pour tea over it."
"What?! No! Celestia please don't!", screamed Luna, but Celestia kept her cruel and evil smirk on.
In a voice as cold as ice, she said, "No Luna. It's your punishment, and I'm not changing my mind."
"Please Celestia! Please don't do it! I'm begging you! Please don't! I'll let you banish me for eternity; just leave my moon alone!", begged Luna.
"Sorry Luna, but that's...not going to happen.", was Celestia's simple reply. She flew to the moon and got an endless supply of tea and covered the moon in it.
BOOM!- That was the moon exploding and turning into cake as it fell? Yeah, it was cake.
And then BANG!- That was the tea supply falling and hitting the ground.
And then CRASH!- That was Celestia falling and landing on her tea supply, which busted under her weight.
And wait for it...."NOOOOOOO!", Luna screamed. "HOW DARE YOU, SUNNYBUTTER CELESTIA SUNBUTT! HOW DARE YOU!"
The hysterically sobbing Luna then flew up into the air, avoiding the falling pieces of cake, and went to Celestia. She said, putting a space between each word, "I. HATE. YOU. FOR. DOING. THIS. CELESTIA. AND. YOU'LL. REGRET. IT. YOU. WILL. PAY. FOR. THIS."
And then her horn started glowing. Knowing what Luna was going to do, Celestia's horn started to glow too.
Luna screamed, "TO TARTARUS WITH YOU!"
And Celestia screamed, "TO THE WORLD OF HUMANS WITH YOU!"
One second later, both princesses were gone. Celestia was in Tartarus, and Luna was in the human world.
At Canterlot High School, or in short form: C.H.S...
Princess Luna was in the cafeteria, struggling to get up as she still wasn't used to her new legs.
Somepony, or as we'd say, someone helped her stand. Luna was about to thank the person, when she saw that it was her counterpart, Principal Luna. Both fell to the floor in a dead faint.
And here ends- wait! I can't end this yet. Not without telling you the fate of Equestria!
In Equestria...
There was no sun, no moon, and no princesses. So, Twilight and Cadance made themselves the new Royal Sisters. I mean, they are sisters-in-laws to each other.
In the sun's place was a blue crystal heart, and in the moon's place was a purple crystal star.
Both looked just like the new Royal Sister's cutie marks. Everything was fine, until a thousand years later, history decided to repeat itself, with Twilight turning into Midnight Sparkle, being banished to the star, defeated by the elements of harmony, etc. Every single thing. And here ends this story.
The END!