//------------------------------// // Chapter Thirty Nine: Mind Games // Story: Cure For a Toxin // by RadBunny //------------------------------// Toxic stared down the pair of furious eyes that looked at him. Literal and figurative waves of nightmarish scenes made his body sway occasionally, but the stallion never moved. The smirk that occasionally slid onto his face made the Shadow snarl, the King vanishing as the stallion repelled the attack. It was only then when Toxic was alone that he slumped to the floor. Ensuring Gelliana’s mindscape was clear and safe, he took a few breaths. Activating an alert spell, the pony blinked as he appeared in the real world, sprawled out on the floor of one of the Organization’s many spell rooms. The location was connected directly to the leyline reactor, and in turn, the Lines themselves. It allowed spells to achieve maximum efficiency with zero interference. That was a good thing. The stallion had gone from not casting spells for more than a month to initiating one every few hours. The fewer snags the better. Dragging himself over to a mattress, Toxic slumped down onto the pillows. He wasn’t even sure what day it was, only that it was dark out. The King of Shadows never slept, only stopping his attacks when he either grew bored or had other matters to attend to. That left scarce time to eat, sleep, or do anything else. I won’t let him win. He isn’t going to get her! Gells… Mechanically downing his ration of water and some pre-made meals, along with a pile of vitamins, Toxic took a few shaky breaths. The fact that the food was genuinely tasty was lost on him; he was just too tired. The waves of nightmares blended together, the Shadow struggling to find something that made Toxic yield. And yet nothing had worked, not completely at least. Seeing horrors still wore on Toxic’s mind regardless. It was a cruel irony that such a thing wasn’t more upsetting. Toxic’s nights had been disturbingly similar to these moments for years. The only difference now was the intensity and frequency of the nightmares. Toxic had dozed off a few times, letting the trickles of attacks get through, but the majority remained blocked. There was a single picture in the spell room that now doubled as his living space, one that had been taken what felt like a lifetime ago. A stallion smiling at the camera, looking a bit awkward as a gryphoness gave him a hug. Gelliana. Toxic’s armor was on the floor, glowing softly. The pony forced himself to hold out a hoof, summoning the breastplate to clamp around his barrel. Despite the metal construction it was incredible comforting. The magic that pulsed around it likely had something to do with that. The nightmares themselves were disturbing, Toxic wasn’t going to lie to himself about that. But very few were things he hadn’t thought of or confronted before. Yet there was a difference between being afraid of something and seeing a heinous nightmare laid out in a visual and auditory sense when he was lucid. Hours upon hours of seeing some of his worst fears, or at least what the Shadow thought were his fears, was slowly taking its toll. Yet he didn’t yield. If I don’t endure these attacks, if I don’t keep that door closed… Toxic curled up, a pillow hugged between his forelimbs. In many ways, it wasn’t nearly as disturbing as he had thought. The Shadow only had guesses, nothing more. No magic could read Toxic’s mind in that space, nor Gelliana’s. So as long as the stallion didn’t give any clues the King was left to only guess. And that made the Shadow mad, which in turn made Toxic quite happy. He could rant and rave, spew threats and conjure up fearsome nightmares of what he’d do to Toxic and Gelliana…but none of it ever came to pass. All Toxic was facing was fear. And in this case, that is all that the King of Shadows could muster. Fear had been a constant companion to Toxic, even if he rarely showed it during his job. The Shadow had made a fatal error. He was trying to scare a pony that entered a boxing ring with nightmares for a job. Only now, the life of a gryphoness Toxic loved was at stake. All I have to do is endure. I can do that. I’ve done it for so many years, I can do it for another week or two if I have to. Or longer. Whatever it takes. Gelliana wasn’t sure when she had fallen asleep resting against Toxic’s shoulders. The blissful peace slowly faded, her dreams becoming a tumultuous red mist. Dark, unsettling sensations that almost drove her to wakefulness. Distant screams- or she thought they may have been screams, echoed through her mind. A cold breeze occasionally made her shiver, but it was never enough to make her fully snap awake. When the gryphoness finally did break out of her slumber, her bleary gaze drifted over to where she had hoped Toxic would be; but there was just a soft, cream-colored wall instead. The room looked the same aside from now having solid walls. She could hear muffled voices; a voice, but other than that, things looked disturbingly normal. The see-through roof, however, definitely still indicated that she was in her mind-scape. Dreamscape. Mind-dream-thing. Ugh. Hurts to think about. Her legs were shaky, an odd, fuzzy sensation in Gelliana’s head making it hard to think. It was like she had the beginnings of a feather flu. But then again, having some shadow-creep inside her head would do that. How long did I sleep? There was a flash of light from outside the room, the illumination carrying over the see-through ceiling. The still-present door in front of her was opened, Toxic stumbling through, the armored unicorn locking it behind him. He scanned the door, placing a hoof against it. With a burst of magic, the room and door flickered, the wood and walls becoming more solid and secure. Metal reinforcements bonded to the structure as they glowed with a soft pink light. With a firm nod, he then turned around, tripping over his hooves. “Tox!” Gelliana sighed with relief. “Are…” her words faded on her tongue. The pony looked awful. Dark circles underneath the stallion’s eyes only drew more attention to the turmoil behind the green gaze. Toxic seemed barely able to walk, stumbling as he leaned against a wall. A tired smile dawned on his face as Gelliana darted over, helping him sit down. “Hey Gells,” Toxic sighed, “glad to see you’re up.” “Are you ok?” she asked, a prick of fear touching the gryphoness even as he nodded. “Just tired. The Shadow-King doesn’t need to sleep, it would seem.” Gelliana stared, brow furrowing in thought. “How long have I been out?” “Three days, maybe four I think.” “W-what?!” Toxic slid down to the floor, armor clattering off his frame. “Your mind is more vulnerable when you sleep,” he explained. “I figured the Shadow would try something like this.” The stallion actually chuckled at that. “I think he’s a bit angry that my brother took out over half of those freaky creatures. The fact he can’t scare me ticks him off to no end as well.” Her beak quivering, Gelliana tried her hardest not to cry. “You’ve been awake for four days?” she whispered, the pony nodding. “Maybe five, but in spurts, but more or less. I have a spell that alerts me when the Shadow-King is trying to influence you. I hope I’ve blocked all of it, or at least most of it,” the pony frowned at that. “There were a few times I think some of the nightmares got through.” “Nothing concrete, j-just a weird feeling. I have worse ones when I’m not being held captive,” Gelliana managed to say with a slight hitch. She couldn’t help but lean forward to hug her special-somepony close. “Thank you Toxic. I didn’t realize, I didn’t know…” “I’m here until you’re rescued, Gells,” Toxic said firmly, his determined tone a sharp contrast to his exhausted demeanor, “even if I have to drag myself out that door. He is not getting to you. There were some snags in the preparations, but we’re coming.” Gelliana sniffled, a few rebellious tears tracing down her cheek. “You’ve been taking care of me for weeks, let me take care of you,” Toxic added, the gryphoness managing a smile, one that quickly faded on his next words. “I couldn’t protect you t-then, so I need to do this.” “Toxic, don’t…” her words stumbled, Gelliana shaking her head. “What could you have done? There were hundreds of those creatures and you almost died. We both almost died. You’d been fighting the dose of a poison that would have killed all of Canterlot,” she paused, eagle-eyes narrowing. “Don’t feel like you have to prove something to me. I hold nothing against you, nor think less of you in any way.” Toxic’s features trembled, his jaw clenching. “Thank you, Gells,” he whispered, “Hearing it lessens my thoughts of believing it. But it’s more than that.” “How then?” He scooted forward to rest his forehead against the gryphoness’s. “It’s not a ‘who took care of who’ sort of thing,” he tried to explain. “You have been there for me, night and day for so long. I want to be there for you. I can’t imagine how scared you must have been, how scared you may be now. I love you more than anything and just want to keep you safe any way I can.” His blunt but caring words broke Gelliana’s walls, a few sobs leaving her as she leaned into Toxic’s immediately-offered hug. Of course he would know I’m scared. “You’re still the cute, plant-loving gryphoness who I managed to ask on a date,” he whispered, “stutters and all. I’ve seen how tough you’ve been through all of this, how you’ve adapted when I’ve been a useless mess. And I’m thankful beyond words.” The stallion stopped at that, ducking down to caress his cheek against the gryphoness’s, lips reaching over to give a loving kiss on her beak before continuing. “But don’t think I forgot who you are, the other side of you that I know is still there. The shy, bookworm of a gryphon who adores her plants. One who has been so amazingly brave, but who I know is still scared. I know there were nights you woke up crying when you thought I was asleep. SMAL gave you a hug when I couldn’t. But you were always brave when helping me, never showing it. I didn’t miss that.” Toxic hugged Gelliana close as the gryphoness sobbed, the stallion rocking her back and forth. “I’m not exactly the knight in shining armor you were expecting, but I’ll protect my princess with my life.” She wasn’t sure how long Toxic held her, but for the first time in what felt like a lifetime, Gelliana felt herself. She could be a warrior. She was a warrior. She could be a soldier that survived in a muddy hole as creatures hunted them down. She could be a basic medic, even as her special-somepony lay unconscious. She could be brave; she was brave. But right now, after weeks of running, hiding, and being all of that; Gelliana wanted so much to just let it all go. “I w-want to go h-home,” she whimpered, Toxic still rocking her back and forth, his own sides shivering as he blinked away sympathetic tears of his own. “I know Gells, I know,” he whispered, “we’re trying. There have been a few setbacks, but we’re coming. And even if that Shadow knows we are, he won’t be able to stop us. We’re coming.” She wasn’t sure how long Toxic held her, the gryphoness wanting to feel safe for just a moment longer. Eventually it faded, the reality of what they were facing starting to creep back into her mind. But I’m not alone. I never have been; and I’ve got a stallion willing to do everything to keep me safe. Reaching up, Gelliana gave said stallion kiss that made Toxic’s fur prickle. “You’re not the knight in shining armor that I expected years ago, or had been imagining,” she admitted. Before Toxic’s ears could droop, she reached over and pressed her palm against his chest, leaning forward to rest on his shoulder. “You’re so much better, and I wouldn’t trade you for the world.” The slight glint of doubt in Toxic’s eyes made Gelliana glare at him, the gryphoness shaking her head. “Ok, I know what I’m talking about as soon as you wake up,” she muttered, “I saw that look.” “Huh? O-oh.” Shifting around, Gelliana settled down to rest against the wall, Toxic leaning on her shoulder and side. “Before that, can you sleep when in this dreamscape? Does it count still?” she asked. “I think so?” Toxic mused, “I’ve never tried it. I think it does, because I’ve dozed off sometimes in-between the Shadow’s attacks, and that helped. I pretty much live in a spell-casting room now.” “Well, I’m awake. So, unless that creep tries something really nasty, you should sleep.” Toxic tried to object, but Gelliana promptly pushed him back down, standing up briefly as an idea came to her. “Wait a minute,” she asked, “that armor, the leylines; that offers some protection against the Shadow, right?” Toxic nodded, his eyes widening as Gelliana’s frame abruptly became covered with a familiar armor. “Gells, no,” he stated firmly, “you go out there, and he’ll-” “I’m not going out, I’m just making the room stronger…um, I think, however that translates in the dream realm,” Gelliana admitted. Reaching over to touch one of the walls, the gryphoness focused on exactly how she felt whenever summoning the armor, when Fide explained to her why she had it. To protect him. Even if she couldn’t stand against the Shadow, Gelliana could at least give Toxic a few hours. She could be brave just a little bit longer. Just give me that much. Just a shield or something that keeps Him out of here. I can’t do much more than that. The room flashed, Gelliana’s armor abruptly disappearing. A soft, muted glow now covered the walls; hopefully that would do it. “I did something, but I can just wake you up if it didn’t work,” she admitted. The stallion was already nodding off, barely able to keep his eyes open. The fact Gelliana walked over and let herself be his pillow was the final straw, Toxic immediately falling asleep with a loving smile on his face. If I get to spend the rest of my life waking up to him with that goofy smile…I can be brave for that. I can be brave a little bit longer for him. The thoughts came so naturally that Gelliana could only stare at the sleeping stallion for a good, long few moments. Two tears rolled down her face; the gryphoness closing her eyes and trying to doze. The fact that there was no objection, no rebuttal to her thoughts was almost frightening. Just a simple warmth, a clear-cut affirmation of what she wanted. Toxic mumbled in his sleep, nesting deeper into Gelliana’s feathers as she ran her claws through his mane. What I want…is this. “So, the full fleet will be ready?” Pick asked, Varti nodding firmly with an annoyed grunt. “Yes. We had some issues with the final ships accepting the upgrades. We were rushing to get the other ships out. I know we’re on borrowed time, but we can’t send in cobbled-together craft. How is Toxic holding up?” “Exhausted. He basically lives in that spell chamber,” Pick admitted, “he doesn’t look good. He won’t say what the Shadow-King is doing outside of ‘sending nightmares,’ but he’s not getting much sleep. He lives in that casting chamber. I don’t know how much longer he can keep it up.” “Borrowed time indeed,” Varti grunted. “We just need another day or two. More water-treatment plants have been secured in Equestria, so that further loosens the likelihood of a threat against them. The Princess’s offered their aid. We just need to get Gelliana out. I assume you have some plans?” Pick nodded, tapping the console in the lab to bring up a dozen diagrams. “Multiple. The crystals in the enemy’s fortress are still intact. We can monitor Gelliana directly, as well as the troop movements. We just need to get the interference down, then we could teleport her directly out. I doubt the King will make that easy for us.” Varti gestured to one of the diagrams, the Yak’s mouth widening in a grin. “Most of these plans, including this one, don’t seem to be based around just getting rid of the interference.” Pick had at least the decorum to try and act innocent. “If we’re knocking down a few foundations, it doesn’t take much to bring the rest of the building down.” The Yak chuckled, his hoof tracing a few bullet points on the diagram. “Safe to say, I think we’ve long since agreed that this isn’t just a rescue mission.” Shaking his head, Pick took a frustrated breath. He then called up security feeds of the various ships being armed, the pony’s crystal teeth grinding. “No. If we’re returning in force, we’re ending this.” Toxic woke up with a yawn. For a moment, the pony temporarily felt like he was caught in a whirlpool before returning to being grounded. Right. Falling asleep in a dream realm. That’s a bit of a weird thought. His thoughts faded to a pleasant warm glow, the stallion quickly realizing that a gryphoness was curled up at his side, head laid over top his shoulder protectively. This is why I don’t mind the sleepless nights. If this is my reward, knowing you are safe, then I will consider it a fair deal indeed. Gelliana must have only been dozing. The gryphoness let out a yawn and stretched, her beak turning in a frown as the shield around the room was only barely visible now. “You get some sleep?” she asked softly, Toxic reaching up to give her a kiss first and foremost. “A few hours,” he replied, leaning over to caress her cheek with his, “thank you.” “I would say anytime, but I’m hoping all of this never happens again,” Gelliana quipped, eyes narrowing in concern despite her upbeat tone. “You sure you’re ok?” “I’m good, Gells,” Toxic replied immediately with a firm nod. “Tired, but good, all things considered.” The gryphoness accepted that answer, but clearly gave him a good look over before sitting next to the stallion. “It’s a bit weird and messed up that now is the time when we’re most free to talk,” she said softly. “If that makes sense.” “It does. And I can’t wait until we can just talk like before all of this. No threat of doom, just sitting somewhere.” Gelliana paused at that, her ears flattening against her skull. “Things are going to be different, huh?” she whispered. “What we went through still hasn’t really set in for me yet.” “We’ll have the best therapists in Canterlot on call to deal with all of that,” Toxic said, a half-humored huff leaving his mouth. “Quite frankly, I just add this entire event to the list of ‘traumatic things I need to get over.’ A hidden blessing and a curse I suppose. But we’ll just take it easy and slow after all of this. Give you time to process it all. Not like I’m going anywhere.” She leaned on his shoulder with a thankful nuzzle, her tail curling around to wrap around one of his nearest forelimb. “Anything you want to talk about? I’d say we have a lot of options,” Toxic asked. A soft hum was Gelliana’s reply, as was a shrug. Eventually, one of the gryphoness’s wings reached over to give Toxic a half hug. “I guess I just want to say thank you.” Toxic pulled his head back slightly to look at her curiously. “You’re welcome, but for what? Young colts go on party no-sleep benders all the time…” She let out a genuine snort at that, head shaking back and forth. “Not just that. Everything before it.” “Uh, when I was unconscious?” “Further back.” The stallion was stumped, hoof tapping in thought. “I am not sure what you mean then.” “Just…” words failed to come, Gelliana letting out a frustrated sigh at herself. “Tox, I feel liked around you. I can’t really explain it.” She could feel his head tilt in curiosity, and indeed a quick peek indicated that adorable furrowing of Toxic’s brow as his ears twitched once in thought. “You know that my past relationships weren’t the best,” she explained, “and in pretty much all of them, I never could look in the mirror and….” The warmth that blossomed in her chest made tears well up in Gelliana’s eyes. That was it. “You gave me confidence, Toxic,” she managed to say. “That’s what it is. Confidence and feeling liked.” He still waited curiously, either not knowing what to say or wanting her to continue explaining. “For better or worse, I don’t think I’m going to be as shy as I was before,” Gelliana admitted. “But you being you, it made me feel like someone cared. Really, really cared. Not just about my feathers or fur, but about me. And I d-didn’t know how m-much that meant. I s-still don’t.” She reached over to give his furry chest a prod with a claw. “That’s why I am so thankful. Because you like me, and it may not seem like that big of a deal to you, but it means the world to me. I never felt attractive that way before. Not in in a genuine manner outside of just being associated with because I was a gryphon. Or small. “Really?” The pony sounded genuinely stunned. “Really. Gryphons don’t like shy, book-loving gardeners. The vast majority don’t at least,” Gelliana said. “So, I got negative attention for my size and what I liked to do. Then you waltz in and throw that all to the wind. So, thank you.” Gelliana let out a squeak as Toxic reached over to nuzzle the crook of her neck lovingly at that. “Well, you are most welcome. I can understand that view a little bit. Not in the same way, but, sort of.” He paused, and Gelliana scooted a bit closer and let out a curious chirp. “I felt the same way, ish, until I met you. I told you before, so I get it. I’m just happy to be there for you.” Another happy hum and Gelliana reached over to take in a breath of Toxic’s somehow pleasant-smelling fur. “Well, I am happy to remind you that you are most certainly wanted very much, and in very many ways. Preferably when I’m not in some dream-room.” A tight hug was Toxic’s response, the stallion enjoying her touch. Neither of them spoke for a time. However, it was Toxic that abruptly began to snicker, much to Gelliana’s confusion. “S-sorry,” he stammered. “I just remembered that I do need to tell you this. Your parents and mine are staying in Canterlot, and apparently Celestia filled them in, ish, on the situation. The question I have is, how in the world are we going to frame this to your parents? Like…” he reached over to nuzzle her lovingly briefly. “This? You said they barely knew we were dating.” Gelliana’s eyes widened in genuine shock at that. “Oh.” “Oh?” On seeing his gryphoness’s ears start to flatten, Toxic shifted to give her a hug. “Hey, I didn’t mean to stress you out, sorry. That was stupid of me.” “No, it’s ok. It’s something to think about,” she admitted, “but just- I have no idea how to explain it. I’ve thought about it before. I suppose the fact they know the general situation helps. But I have no idea how to explain this to them.” “Well, maybe don’t?” Toxic’s response made Gelliana stare at him, the stallion shrugging. “Just let them figure it out. As long as you’re ok with it, we’ll be going to therapy together, and separately. But we’ll still be dating, being around each other. I think they’ll get the general idea when they learn we were stuck in a cave with each other for weeks. We took care of each other, you more so to me. I think they’ll be very proud. I’d hope so at least.” “Not a bad idea, as always,” she admitted, “and yes, counseling together sounds like a very good idea. Goodness knows I’ll need it on my own too.” Even speaking about it made the gryphoness’s limbs shake slightly. There was so much stress, so much tension just on the edge of her awareness it was maddening. “I’m happy to submit some recommendations,” Toxic said, shifting to wrap his arms around her, Gelliana relaxing and nuzzling into his neck. “We’ll get through this, Gells. It’ll be a rocky road to acclimate back to a new normal, but we’ll do it together.” She hugged him back tightly, wanting nothing more than to just listen to that heartbeat she adored. But the distant roar of something ruined any chances of that. More than anything, Gelliana just wanted to be back in her shop. Not alone, but just away from all of this. I’m so tired of being brave. “Looks like somecreature is having a tantrum, I’ve got to go,” he whispered. To her surprise, Gelliana felt tears start to run from her eyes, emotion making her throat close up. “P-please stay, Tox,” she whimpered. “I just want this to end. I c-can’t…” The gryphoness cried as Toxic rocked her back and forth, the stallion giving her a kiss on the forehead. “You can. You’re strong enough, Gells. I know you can,” Toxic whispered. He pulled back to meet her tearful gaze; the gryphoness seeing his own eyes shimmered with sympathetic tears. “We’re so close. Just hang in there. Let me be the strong one. You just have to hang on. Wait a little bit longer. I promise that when you’re safe and sound, I won’t leave you ever again, not if you need me.” She nodded. That much she could do. The stallion’s eyes shimmered with unshed tears; his jaw clenched as he spoke. He meant every word. I just have to wait. Then we can be safe together. “You were my protector for so long, Gells,” Toxic said, a determined smile sliding onto his face as a familiar set of armor clamped around his frame. “Now let me be yours.” A final, fierce kiss, and the stallion was gone, locking the door to the gryphoness’s mind as he faced whatever the King would throw at him today. Despite the tears on her cheeks, Gelliana couldn’t help but feel just a bit calmer. All she had to do was wait. She didn’t have to be strong anymore, not like before. Thank you, Toxic.