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// Entry 19 - Dear Ipsa, 
// Story: A Very Happy and Sunny Life 
// by Wearin Hat 
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Dear Ipsa Unica,

    I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for touching your private journal and writing in it.  You must understand that this is the only way I could think of to let you know what happened to it and who found it.  Please do not be mad as I would very much like to be close with you and I’d hate for some silly misunderstanding to ruin our possible friendship.  Also, I’d like to assure you that I did not read any of the entries in this journal once I saw that it belonged to you.

    Now, please forgive me for this as I know you don’t like ponies socializing with you, but I’ve been working up the courage to talk to you for a long time and I can’t help but feel that this is the perfect chance for me to tell you what I’ve been meaning to tell you.

    Firstly, I am SO sorry for what I’ve done to you in the past.  I know I’ve said it before, but I don’t think you understand HOW sorry I really am.  I meant no ill will towards you and I was only trying my best to impress you.  You have to believe me when I say that I NEVER saw how close the storm cloud was to your roof.  Thankfully you weren’t hurt too bad, but I understand that you lost everything you owned in the fire and that it’ll probably be difficult for you to forgive me.  If you at least give me one chance to earn your forgiveness then I’d be forever grateful.

    During your time in the hospital, I recall that you were very nasty and rude to everypony who tried to visit you, myself included.  However, during your ravings, I remember that you used to angrily ask me why it was I kept bothering you and that I never really had a chance to answer you.  The reasons I kept visiting you in the hospital were that I was worried you were really hurt and that I’ve always admired you.

    That’s right; I said that I have always admired you.  However, that doesn’t change a few facts.  I know that you probably think otherwise, but I’m not stupid.  I’ve seen the way you treat everypony and I know the lies you’ve told.  In a word, you are despicable.  You come into town with an air of smugness about you that we can all see clear as Celestia’s day and you’ve made no attempt to hide that you manipulate poor Twilight into spending her bits on items that don’t belong to you.  It makes me sick to even think about the kind of mind it would take for somepony to do such a thing to somepony as nice as her.  The way you treat Pinkie Pie is even worse.  She has never done anything to you and yet you avoid her like a plague.  Hiding away from me at least makes sense due to the accidents, but she doesn’t deserve the treatment she receives from you.  And yet, despite your MANY flaws, I admire you.

    Even though you obviously don't like other ponies, you spend every single night walking the streets of Ponyville cleaning up everypony else’s mess.  You do a job that nopony willingly has wanted to do and you do it to the best of your ability.  What’s more, you find personal belongings of ponies and then sell them, at outrageous prices, unfortunately, to the one pony that makes sure the items go back to their rightful owners.  You may think that nopony notices the sound of your cart rolling through the street every night or when you work during the rain, snow, or whatever else is happening, but you're wrong for thinking that; I notice.  I know what it’s like to do something that everypony takes for granted.  I know what it’s like to only receive the generic thankfulness of ponies who don’t really appreciate the hard work I do.  I also know how difficult it is to do my job in the early morning, which must pale in comparison to having to sacrifice your entire day to accommodate having to work during the night.  I know how it feels to sit alone after you’ve worked and feel unnoticed and unwanted.

    The hardest part is the gossip.  To trot around town when you’re not working and listen to what the ponies say about how the silly mailmare can’t do her job right or how the creepy street cleaner always misses a spot.  It hurts to know that I’ve sacrificed a great deal for the ponies of this town.  I can’t walk my daughter Dinky to school in the mornings, a job that my daughter Sparkler takes care of for me, and I’m never home when she gets out of school.  I’m always too busy working in the morning and doing odd jobs around Ponyville and Cloudsdale to support my family.  Despite that, despite all of the tears it causes me, I can put my daughters to bed and then sleep soundly after drifting off to the sounds of you working diligently outside.  At least I have Dinky and Sparkler to appreciate me.  I can’t even think of how difficult it must be for you to give up everything just so you can be overlooked and be alone.

    It hurts me to see you go through life without your cutie mark.  I know that sounds a little personal, but I can relate to being a pony that gets made fun of for being born different.  Not a day goes by where I don't catch at least one pony staring at my eyes and I’m sure you deal with the exact same thing when it comes to them staring at your lack of cutie mark.  What gives me hope is that I see how high you hold your head and the enjoyment you seem to get out of just simply being yourself.  Ever since I first saw you go through the market laughing every now and then at your own jokes while everypony snickered behind your back about your missing mark, I have felt inspired to live my life similarly.  Thanks to your example I don’t have any shame when I go out in public.

    I must admit that I did pry into your life a few months ago to figure out more about you.  What I found was very sad and I had a hard time accepting that a pony like yourself can experience such hardships and yet continue being yourself.  You may be wondering how I learned anything at all and if you ask her then I’m sure Miss Cheerilee can enlighten you about that.  However, she can’t tell you how touched I was when I learned that you’ve never asked for help.  You’ve always taken care of yourself and you’ve managed to make a life that you seem to enjoy living without ever requesting the assistance of somepony else.  It shows just how strong you are that you didn’t rely on others and yet still succeeded.

    What has really revealed your true character was when you selflessly took in Vocem Non.  Sure, you probably fought tooth and hoof to not have the responsibility, but you stepped up to the plate when the time called for it and you’ve excelled in the role.  I was honestly shocked you would do something like that.  I mean, look at you.  You’re Ipsa Unica.  You are without a doubt one of the meanest and most selfish ponies to have ever lived and yet you accepted her into your life.  I’m no stranger to that act and I am wholly aware of what it takes to be a parent of a filly that isn’t yours.  I was really worried you would hurt her or just forget about her or something, but when I saw you walking around town with her riding in your cart, I couldn’t help but be impressed all the more by you.  The touching part is that I assumed you were only going to cater to her needs and nothing else and instead you've honestly cared about her.  I’ve seen you wrap a blanket around her at night, share most the muffins I bake for you with her, sing to her, and Dinky has told me all about how you stood up for V and her friends in school.

    I know that you are still the same old Ipsa you’ve always been, the foul-mouthed, rude, mean spirited, manipulative, cruel, and creepy stallion that prefers loneliness to friendship.  However, I also know something that not many other ponies may know about you; that you’re honest, hardworking, caring, sensitive, and sweet.  On top of all that, I can relate to you better than I can with anypony else in my life.  Nopony can understand the pains I go through better than you.  That’s why I admire you.  That’s why, dare I say it, that I’ve been hiding a crush on you for a long time.

    Though I told you yesterday, I’m going to go ahead and assume you didn’t listen when I said it.  That letter you found, the one that was in Twilight’s old saddlebag, was one that I had written to you.  I tried to give it to you in the market that day, but you intimidated me too much to give it to you.  I gave it to Twilight knowing that she would see you sooner rather than later, but it appears Celestia bid that something else happen instead.

    Well, there it is.  I’ve said what I needed to say and wanted to say.  I like you Ipsa, I really do.  You’re not as much of a jerk as you think you are and I’d like to have the chance to prove that to you.

    Also, I hope your nose is feeling better now that you’ve had some time to heal.  I really am sorry about that.  Sometimes I have trouble navigating through the sky when I’m flying fast.

    As for your journal, I found it in the streets when I was doing my route and I left it inside...as you know since you’re reading this.  You should probably lock your door more often, especially when you go out of town.

    Please talk to me about this, give me a chance to prove how great of a stallion you are and how much I appreciate what it is you do for Ponyville.  Dinky and V really get along and I’m sure you and I would too if you gave me the chance.

    Your Admirer,

    Derpy Hooves