//------------------------------// // Chapter Twenty Seven: Comforts // Story: We don't go to Sub-Level Five // by RadBunny //------------------------------// Sassi shivered underneath the blankets. Fear dug into her heart with illogical claws, the Thestral huddling into a miserable ball. The dream hadn’t even been a figment of her imagination. The usually weighted blanket just didn’t have the same effect when draped over her on the couch. Usually, the nights weren’t that bad. She didn’t usually have nightmares. It was almost always memories, something much worse. I can still feel the needles in my limbs. My chest, my side. And nobody cared. Paralyzed as they just watched the monitors. Results over all else. I can’t remember when I started screaming. Only when I stopped. A few hot tears sprang to the mare’s eyes and ran down her cheeks. A kind, sincere stallion had broken apart all of her walls by simply caring. That was the crux of the matter, a simple aspect of life so many creatures took for granted. And it had happened fast. Each of his actions had progressively shattered the preconceptions she had about him and what she wanted in general. The determined fire in Astral’s eyes when he had literally carried her to safety had dug into the mare’s heart a lot more than Sassi originally thought. He asked for nothing in return. That simple fact had been a commonality over all of Astral’s actions. Sincerity, genuine care was something Sassi was realizing had been largely missing from her life, and Astral was exposing that fact every hour he was around her. She hated to ask him. He deserved to rest, and it was clear the Thestral was still utterly exhausted. Astral had taken some painkillers to help with his leg, but they weren’t too heavy. As much as Sassi willed it to be so, logic couldn’t help her right now. The memories were too raw, too close to the surface. While her strength was returning, it was still too close. Too similar to times before. Yet now she had someone here who did care. Even if the mare was still trying to figure out how to process it all. The two of them had played various board games for hours; the pair evenly matched. She won Chess, he won Nimopoly, and back and forth they went. It had been fun. Actual, genuinely fun in which their situation was a muted side-thought. The times Sassi could remember which that three-letter word was used ran fairly thin outside of with her dad, at least outside the few times growing up with other kids her age. At this moment, however, she just needed to know someone was there. It certainly wasn’t the first time she had curled into a ball on her bed and cried as a grown mare, but it was the first time she had been able to ask for help. That she let herself ask. “Astral?” she asked softly, the stallion asleep on the other couch, his hind limb in a better position than if he was on a bed. “Astral?” “Muah?” he mumbled, flopping over and blinking slowly. The fact his mane was so adorably fluffy nearly chased away the demons in Sassi’s mind alone. “Sassi? You alright?” he asked, green eyes blinking sleepily, concern starting to flood his gaze. The first thing he asks. “N-not really,” she managed to utter. What could she say? “Just a mental wave. And I can’t sleep. Sorry to wake you. I just-I don’t want to remember stuff,” the mare added rather lamely. “I just can’t let myself think. Sorry. I didn’t know what to…” “Oh. Ok,” he said blearily, flopping out of bed and meandering to the couch drunkenly. “Scoot.” Sassi barely had time to be surprised as Astral slid next to her, curling up so that his back and shoulder were towards her; perfect ‘pillow’ height. “There. This is better,” he mumbled, “just use me as a pillow if it helps.” The fluffy Thestral abruptly fell back asleep as if a light switch had been flicked. She didn’t know how exactly to react. Was Astral even awake when he moved? Perhaps the painkillers were more powerful than they had thought. Sassi took a moment to try and process her thoughts. The mare honestly wasn’t sure what frightened her more; the fact that her usual fears, doubts, and anxieties about having someone this close were so subdued, or the fact that the insecurities had fled so quickly. Creatures just didn’t get this close to her; both out of their own volition and her personal boundaries. Flask was the only one who had hugged her occasionally. But this? Not having her usual aversions to contact was completely alien territory for the mare. After a few false starts, Sassi leaned her head on Astral’s back, not able to hold back an utterly content sigh. It all just faded away. The simple act of having someone there who didn’t provoke her usual fears, just… I can’t think about it right now. It’s too much with the memories. Explanations could come later. At least this worked. She hadn’t been joking when the mare first met him. Even without the helmet’s enhanced audio, hearing his steady heartbeat was somehow soothing. The smell of Astral’s fur was a surprisingly lovely thing to fall asleep to as well. Once again, Astral, you surprise me. Even if you may not remember doing any of this. Tomorrow will be interesting. Thank you. Astral yawned, the stallion curling up into a tighter ball. Surprisingly, he felt rather decent underneath the still-drowsy cloud his mind was under. The blanket was warm, and the pillow, while oddly positioned, was quite nice. He scooted a bit closer, burying his cheek into the soft material. Whatever the pillow was made of, it was fantastic. Smells rather nice too, he mused, gunpowder and fruit. That thought settled in his mind, the Thestral’s eyes snapping open as he processed the mental words. Wait. Another oddity about his current position was that the pillow was hugging him. A few things ran through Astral’s mind, one of which was the pony making peace with his life if Sassi decided to hug too tight considering there was a forelimb around his upper chest and neck. Cautiously craning his neck, Astral tried to figure out how in the world he got into this position. Curled up next to the mare, the pillow against the back of his head had apparently been Sassi’s chest, the mare burrowing her head into his upper back and wrapping a set of forelimbs around the stallion. He found himself oddly conflicted. On the one hoof, if Astral moved he’d wake the sleeping mare up. On the other, he had no idea how in the world he got from one couch to snuggling next to Sassi. And then there was the fact it was comfortable. Considering it was the closest he had been to anyone in years, the Thestral was having a true mental battle of whether to move. He just felt safe, and that was something in short supply when running for his life underground. Thankfully, his decision wasn’t necessary as Sassi shifted, a soft mumble leaving her mouth. The mare’s movements became a bit more distressed, her shoulders twitching as her hold around Astral tightened. A nightmare? “Please, no more. They hurt.” The soft, barely-audibly whimper made Astral’s heart shatter. There was no filter, a simple, soft, pained plea as the mare cried in her sleep. What did that do to you, Sassi? “Sassi?” he whispered, shaking his shoulders slightly, hoping to wake her up. Unfortunately, his actions seemed to have the opposite effect. The mare abruptly burrowed further into Astra’s mane; her body immediately relaxing. Her hold around him tightened, a content sigh making his fur rustle as Astral’s face radiated a lovely pink glow. He wasn’t about to complain, but Astral would feel a lot better about all of this if it was voluntary. Held hostage by a hug. Judging from her nightmare, Astral was happy to help, even if it meant being a pillow. Thankfully with a yawn, Sassi shifted a bit, a rather cute mumble leaving her mouth as she sat up slightly. The soft, adorable *eep* that reached his sensitive ears indicated that a certain mare had abruptly noticed her position, forelimbs slowly retracting as she said one word. “Huh.” Astral slowly sat up, stretching his neck and blinking as he looked over to a mare with very pink cheeks, despite her casual demeanor. “Sassi. I have no idea how I got over here,” he admitted, “so, I’m sorry in advance, but I don’t remember anything.” She opened her mouth, then shook her head with a sigh. “Y’know, if I didn’t like you, I’d joke about having you made it a night to remember,” she mused, “but that’s no fun now. However, the painkillers were a bit stronger than we thought.” The mare abruptly let out a cackle as Astra’s previously-blushing face drained of all color, Sassi waving a hoof. “Oh gosh, nothing bad happened,” she wheezed, her blush still quite present as she didn’t meet Astral’s gaze. “In fact, you helped, well, about as well as you could have.” “I did?” he managed to say, the other Thestral still not looking his way, her left forelimb rubbing the other. Her ears flattened briefly. “I was having a rough night,” she said softly, “horrid memories. I woke you up not really sure how you could help. You simply said for me to scoot over and that I could use you as a pillow. And then you were out,” her eyes met his for the briefest of moments. “I must have shifted in my sleep to…um…yeah.” She glanced away, hoof scuffing at the sofa cushion. “So, thanks.” “You’re welcome? I think? I honestly don’t remember, but at least I helped,” Astral replied, a kind smile on his face. “You were having a nightmare this morning a bit ago,” he admitted. “That’s when I woke up at least. You gave me a blanket to help with my rough night, it’s only fair I acted as a pillow for one of yours.” Sassi’s eyes were wide at that, a flicker of fear darting across her gaze. “Did I say anything?” she asked cautiously, Astral’s head tilting curiously. His ears flattened, the stallion gritting his teeth. “To stop. That they hurt,” he whispered, shaking his head. He noticed that Sassi only winced slightly as if Astral’s words weren’t a surprise. “Oh. That dream,” she muttered. “Well, thank you again.” Astral nodded; he wasn’t about to pry. He could connect the dots easily enough. “Of course. It…” the stallion stopped, shaking his head. “It didn’t sound nice. I’m glad I was able to help even if it was being a pillow. Happy to help anytime.” The last few words made the stallion’s cheeks heat up; he hadn’t really thought those words through. Sassi seemed rather amused by it; a definite pink tinge on her face. Astral decided to add a little bit of levity to the situation; the last thing he would want to think about would be bad dreams. “It’s also a nice surprise to wake up finding out that the mare who fancies me finds me equally comfy.” Sassi’s mouth hung open at that, the indeed pink-faced mare staring at him in shock, Astral wincing. “Too much?” The mare didn’t say anything for a few moments, and it was Astral’s turn to be surprised as a genuinely shy smile lit up her face, violet eyes not able to meet his. The mare’s demeanor shifted ever so slightly, losing the usual confident edge. Instead, there was something else, softer and almost vulnerable. There was an odd sincerity about the mare now, a sliver of someone else showing their face. It was endearing, to say the least. “Not too ‘much’, but just, new,” she managed to say, “I’m…nopony has really-this is all new for me, slight genuine flirting included. I’m just not used to getting those types of compliments sincerely.” “You do understand I find that shocking,” Astral admitted, Sassi continuing to smile. “Well, it’s surprising for me to hear that. Most compliments or flirting in my life, if you could call it that, were centered around crass remarks involving one-night stands or having that be the end goal. Any experience I have with otherwise is related to what Flask said usually happens when dating, or various books or such.” “I did see A Queen Betrothed in your library. It’s nice to know you have an inconceivable taste.” Sassi snorted at the reference, her head shaking back and forth. “You’ll have to give me time to get used to that too. But just keep being you, Astral.” “So, smoothie-maker, occasional pillow, fifty-fifty good or horrendous flirter, and future date?” he suggested, the shy expression returning. The stallion quickly decided that this other side of Sassi was equally attractive and intriguing. To know the mare had another side that was starting to peek through made him oddly excited to get to know her, that part of her more. “Yes. That and much more. But let’s get started to the day before my face stays red forever.” Astral chuckled, hopping off the bed and meandering to the kitchen. “A shame. It’s a lovely look.” “Not helping, Astral.” “Neeeeever said I was!” The exasperated but clearly amused sigh in response made Astral grin, the bat-pony walking over to the kitchen to scrounge. “Well, we have enough for one more large smoothie. I’ll throw it all in and see if it’s good,” he reported, “today is just a relaxing one I assume? Planning for our next move?” After taking a tentative sip of the then-prepared smoothie, Sassi nodded in reply. “In a word? Yep. I’ve tried every day or so to access any sort of exterior or interior communications systems, but they were all shut down the day things went haywire. So, we’ll need to check that, but we can start to plan how to get through Silo Two.” Astral noted how her voice hitched on mentioning that Silo, the mare’s ears flattening to her skull. “Silo Two isn’t going to be a walk in the park, huh?” he asked softly, settling on the couch opposite her. “It’s where I spent a lot of my time. Where I was modified, grew up at times…” she shook her head as the words trailed off. “The less time I spend there, the better.” “Well, it’s not like we’re coming back to this place.” Sassi’s ears perked up at that. “Hmm?” Astral gestured with a hoof, shrugging his wings. “I can’t imagine the difficulties you’re going through, Sassi. But this is just a thought, you only have to go through it one more time. Seeing stuff and the memories directly. After that, we’re gone and not coming back to this place, not unless you want to. Unless you really want to work for them after all of this.” She snorted at that, turmoil in the mare’s eyes betraying the gears turning in her mind. “That is a very nice thought, Astral,” Sassi said, “and I don’t know if I’m ready to think about it like that.” “You didn’t go above ground much, huh?” he asked carefully. “Not really, a few times a year until recently,” she admitted, “but it’s still a huge change. An entirely new world. I want it more than I can explain, but it’s still a bit unsettling.” Astral was quiet for a time, the stallion getting up to take her empty glass. On passing, he reached over and gave her a simple pat with his wing, the Thestral then walking to the kitchen. “Well, you’re not going to be alone in figuring it out,” he said firmly, “even if things don’t work out in terms of us dating for whatever reason, you’ll still have a friend regardless.” On settling back on the couch, Astral looked over to see Sassi’s eyes rather damp, the stallion wincing. “I’d have trouble forgiving myself if I made a mare cry, so…” She laughed, swiping a forelimb across her face. “Sorry, just. It’s a lot to take in. The fact I can even act like this around somepony is overwhelming. Usually, it’s bits and pieces. Not all of it. The fact you’re not laughing at me just opens the stupid floodgates.” “Forgive me for being selfish, but it’s rather nice to have me being the support,” Astral admitted with a grin, “after having my rear end saved multiple times by you, it was a little bit intimidating. I’ll take any supportive roles as a win to my fragile ego.” “I can still bench press you,” Sassi grumbled. “I never said you weren’t still intimidating.” “…with one hoof.” “I rest my case.” That seemed to make the mare a bit happier, Sassi getting up and stretching slowly. “Ugh. Pins and needles, but should be good,” she remarked, “I’ll be on the treadmill for a few hours to work the last of that junk through my system.” “Maybe I’ll monitor the cameras? Just the stuff you showed me, nothing fancy?” She nodded at that. “Sassi, could-is there a way for me to access company files?” The mare froze at that, turning to look at him with a guarded gaze. “Hmm?” Astral shrugged, gesturing to the table where the drive still sat. “I just want to get a general idea of what this organization has been doing. If I can help bring them down, I want to. But I want to know what exactly the company that hired me was doing.” Sassi chewed her lip, clearly uncomfortable about something before nodding once. “That shouldn’t be a problem,” she mused, “Use that administrator password on the terminal if anything is restricted. You should be able to access any information you want. The search engine can even take verbal requests.” It didn’t take but a few moments for Astral to piece together why the mare was so nervous. “I won’t search anything regarding you,” he said softly, Sassi’s ears perking upright. “The stuff you aren’t telling me, I trust it’s for a good reason. I know what it’s like to have someone find out things about your life before you’re ready.” Looking like she was near tears again, the mare managed a slight smile. “Thank you, Astral. I’m going to go walk before you hit me with any more emotional punches.” “That’s fair enough. Glad to have you back,” he said with an understanding nod, the two separating to their different destinations. Once up in the security terminal, Astral sat down with a deep breath. Did he want to know all of this? It was a moot question. Part of him needed to know. This was the company that had killed so many, hurt Sassi, and had paid his bills. The latter thought made him shudder. Turning to one of the monitors, the search bar blinked softly, Astral leaning towards the microphone. “General search.” I need to know.