Friends have Benefits: Chapter 5
A Mission and a Menace
“So what now?” Soarin asked, lazily flopping back on a cloud. He and Thunderlane had spent the best part of the day bringing an unscheduled bank of cirrus clouds under control. While the thin wispy clouds had proved little challenge for the experienced weather operator and the rookie, the sheer amount of cloud that had unexpectedly shown up had exhausted the both of them.
“Nap sounds good right about now.” Thunderlane muttered, flopping down a cloud a few meters away.
“Lazy arse.” Soarin admonished.
“Give me a break, I’ve been clearing those clouds for the past five hours while you’ve been doing is playing around with your dick or something.” Thunderlane retorted, yawning loudly.
Soarin rolled his eyes, Thunderlane had turned out to be an endless source of dick jokes.
“Thanks, nice to know my help is appreciated.”
“Whatever Soarin.” Thunderlane mumbled before closing his eyes. A few minutes later, the quiet sound of snoring emerged from his makeshift cloud bed.
Soarin sighed and flopped his head back onto the cloud. ‘Guess a nap couldn’t hurt...’ . His eyes drooped shut, fatigue overcoming his will to stay awake. As he snoozed, he was oblivious to the whirring of a gyrocopter drawing closer, nor did he see the demented grin of its pilot.
Soarin could feel something was wrong, the cloud under him wasn’t soft and fluffy, it was hard and unyielding. Celestia’s bright sun no longer shone down on him and the air felt too cold. His eyes snapped open in panic; much his surprise, he was inside what appeared to be a bakery. The room was pitch black, the only source of illumination was from a solitary candle on top of a delicious looking, expertly crafted cake. The small pool of light provided no sense of comfort as it cast menacing shadows around the bakery. Small flutters of movement came from around the edge of the room, further increasing the growing sense of unease in Soarin’s mind.
”Hey sleepy head.” A bubbly yet dangerous voice came from the shadows.
The owner materialised out of the darkness next to the cake, her normally pink coat was a sickly shade of red that reminded Soarin awfully of blood. She appeared to be hiding something sinister Soarin couldn’t see in her forehooves.
“Pinkie?” Soarin said uneasily, his legs shaking slightly, whether that was from the cool draft or the off putting scene, he wasn’t sure. Picking himself off the cold floor where he had been lying, “What’s going on?” He asked with uncertainty.
“Well when I said I was planning a ‘Welcome to Ponyville.’ party for you I was being super serious. I mean really super-duper serious. I mean, who would joke about parties like that anyway?” She shook her head seriously. “Really serious business. So when you ran away and didn’t want to be friends and have lots of fun at your super awesome patented Pinkie party, I got sad. Really sad. That got me thinking. Who wouldn’t want an awesome party? Big Meanies like you who don’t like having fun and don’t deserve parties!” She moved a hoof in front of her, revealing a wickedly sharp knife.
Soarin gulped and backed away.. “I-I-I like fun! I love parties.”
“You’re just saying that.” Pinkie shot back, her wide smile still in place. She advanced towards Soarin, Knife clenched between her teeth. Her mane was rapidly losing its puffiness in a way that Soarin would have found comical if the situation had been less horrifying.
“Pinkie, what are you doing?” Soarin asked nervously as she advanced on him.
“Something I should have done when I met you...” She growled, transferring the knife to a hoof.
‘Oh shit, this can’t be happening, No no no no no!. I’m too young to die, I have too much to do! Achieve my dream... wait did that... Fall helplessly in love... Wait... did that too... Drink a town dry, well there was that one time in Dodge Junction....Shit... Well getting stabbed to death by an insane pink mare was’’t on the list!’ He thought desperately as Pinkie advanced upon him. Panic overcoming him, Soarin’s knees buckled and he was reduced to a cowering, quivering wreck. He shut his eyes and waited for the end, waited for the pain of cold steel slipping between his ribs.
It never came.
Instead a blinding flash of light even visible through his shut eyelids and a deafening yell of “SURPRISE!” enveloped him.
‘Oh now she’s going to... Wait what?’
Soarin cracked open an eye cautiously, the previously dark room was now awash with light. The curtains had been pulled back, inviting in the suns warm glow. Dozens of ponies stood around the edge of the room, looking at the cowering Soarin curiously.
“Surprise!” Pinkie yelled belatedly, deftly spinning the knife around and offering it to Soarin hilt first.
“A-a-a party?” Soarin asked dumbfounded.
“Uh-huh!” Pinkie said, nodding so fast Soarin was sure he head would fly off and buzz about the room.
“But- the creepy room, the knife... Your insane look.” Soarin said, lifting his head up.
“The room was creepy because all the lights were off, the knife is to cut the cake and I couldn’t help having a bit of fun while I was at it!” Pinkie buzzed happily.
Soarin swore quietly. It all made sense now. “You call that a joke?” He yelled, “I almost needed to get a new pair of pants!”
“You’re not wearing pants.” Pinkie pointed out.
“That’s not the point. Don’t do that again!” Soarin yelled. He hadn’t realised that all the other ponies in the room were staring as he gave Pinkie a piece of his mind.
“Of course I’d never do it again, I mean why would I throw a second ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party? I can’t welcome you twice, that would be like a re-welcome or a second coming party.”
Soarin’s eye twitched as once again, Pinkie completely missed the point.
‘Stay calm... Stay calm...’ He thought as the pink pony bounced up and down in front of him, the knife jiggling around dangerously in her mouth.
“So do you like it?” Pinkie asked, oblivious to Soarin’s displeasure.
“It’s...” Soarin said, his eye twitching madly. He was aware of the anticipation building in the room.
“Your eye is all funny!” Pinkie said, flicking her head back. The knife flew out of her mouth and embedded itself perfectly in the cake. A few quiet murmurs broke out from the crowd. “But you like it right?” She asked, her eyes tearing up.
“It’s... Great.” Soarin said grunted through his teeth, finally bringing his eye’s twitching under control. ‘Let’s get this shit over with...’ he thought, putting a fake smile one would have if their tea had salt instead of sugar but were too polite to point it out.
“Woooh! Let’s get this party started!” Pinkie yelled out enthusiastically, buying Soarin’s blatantly fake reaction. She then proceeded to complete a backwards cartwheel whilst putting a needle down on a record on a record player, blasting loud music across the bakery. Soarin cringed slightly as the loud, obnoxious music assailed his ears. ‘This would be fun... If I was deaf.’ he thought sourly.
Within the hour the party was in full swing, several more ponies, including the rest of the weather, team had arrived. Dozens of ponies, mostly ones Soarin didn’t know, or didn’t want to know; chatted, danced, or stuffed themselves with the seemingly endless supply of goodies that Pinkie was churning out. Soarin had forced himself into a corner, both to avoid being snuck up on, and to avoid The Pink Menace as much as he could. He watched with muted interest as a pair of stallions, a snow white pegasus and a deep red earth pony, hoof wrestled a few tables away. A small crowd had gathered to watch and place bets on the competing heavy weights. Soarin was glad he wasn’t fighting, he was sure that despite his athletic background he was sure either one of the hulking brutes could have literally turned him into paste.
For the most part though, the majority of the partygoers ignored Soarin, or at least decided to ignore Soarin after any attempts of conversation resulted in being virtually being stone walled. For the seventeenth time, Soarin wondered if he could make a break for it and hope nopony would see him escape but immediately dismissed it as foolish. Anytime he left his sheltered alcove, he was instantly accosted by Pinkie Pie. Even after he had just seen her walk into the kitchen, she would appear in front of him with a platter of cupcakes or drinks. Just the thought of that mare made his head hurt.
Soarin spotted Flitter and Cloud Chaser sitting at a table talking with Thunderlane, hastily averting his gaze when Cloud Chaser gave him a wink from across the room.
‘Here’s trouble.’ he thought when he spotted a rainbow mane belonging to his friend-that-really-wasn’t-really-his-friend bobbing through the crowd towards him. He shrunk back a little, hoping she wouldn’t see him.
No luck.
“Hey Soarin, nice party Pinkie has thrown for you right?” She asked, spotting the stallion.
Soarin inwardly sighed, besides the music it was a nice party. Perhaps it would be more enjoyable if he wasn’t continually being harassed by mares or being threatened with sharp knives wielded by an insane pink pony.
“It’s alright I guess.” He said as Rainbow Dash slid down next to him. She eyed him playfully.
“Lighten up a little. You’ll have more fun that way.” She tugged his hoof. “Come dance with me.”
Soarin flashed a ‘You’ve gotta be kidding me’ look at her.
“No.”
“Come on you fun sponge.”
“No.”
“Urgh, I can just feel you sucking all the fun out of the air!” She complained.
“You’re pretty good at feeling me if I recall correctly.”
She punched him hard on the shoulder.
“Enough with the innuendo.” She growled.
“It’s enough when I say it’s enough.” Soarin said, rubbing his shoulder where she had hit him.
“Whatever, now come dance.”
“I’m not nearly drunk enough to consider dancing.”
Rainbow procured two bottles of beer out of nowhere.
“Good enough?”
“How did you do that?”
“Not important.”
Soarin wrinkled his nose up. “I’m not a fan of beer.”
“What’s wrong with it?”
“Frankly, I find most beer like making love in a canoe.”
Rainbow Dash cocked an eyebrow.”Making love in a canoe?”
“Yes. It’s fucking close to water.” Soarin replied, the corners of his mouth tilting upwards.
Dash chuckled lightly. “Funny. But do you know what?”
“What?” Soarin asked cautiously.
“I don’t care, now come dance!” She said, dragging Soarin roughly to his hooves. She pushed him to the crowded dance floor and started dancing to the party track on. Soarin stood dumbly and looked at her.
“Comeon filly! Dance!” She yelled above the music.
“I don’t know how.” Soarin mumbled.
“Bullshit, I’ve seen you dance.”
“I don’t remember how.” Soarin corrected himself.
“Here, I’ll show you!” Dash yelled taking his hoof in hers. She clumsily led him through a few moves, most of which Soarin thought were just a ridiculous mix of shaking, head banging or waving his legs around like an idiot.
“You sure this is dancing?” He yelled.
“Pretty sure!” Dash yelled back, her eyes beaming brightly.
“I feel like an idiot!” Soarin yelled.
“You look like one too!”
Soarin laughed, despite all odds he was actually enjoying himself. His sudden change in demeanour did not go unnoticed by his prismatically coloured friend.
“Told ya, you just have to lighten up a bit!”
“Who’s lightening up?” Pinkie Pie asked, suddenly appearing between them. She was bouncing up and down to the beat on her tail like it was a pogo stick. Soarin chose to ignore this physics defying feat.
“Soarin. Told him he had to lighten up!” Dash yelled. “And look at him go!”
Pinkie giggled at Soarin’s ‘dancing’ before looking up for a moment, as if she was trying to remember something important.
“Oh yeah! There’s a pony here to see you Dashie! Looks like somepony who isn’t much fun. He wouldn’t even try my cupcakes!”
“A tragedy, I’m sure.” Soarin said sarcastically, remembering a sickeningly sweet cupcake he tried earlier.
“A terrible, awful, catastrophic tragedy!” Pinkie said, oblivious to his sarcasm.
Dash thanked Pinkie and pushed her way through the crowd towards the stranger.
“Any idea who he is?” Soarin asked Pinkie, aware that he was living dangerously.
“Well, he had a badge that said Weather Service, so I don’t know, maybe he’s with the dry cleaners.” Pinkie remarked dryly, rolling her eyes.
Soarin made a disgusted sound and left to follow Dash through the crowd. He’d rather fight a Hydra with a feather duster than stay near Pinkie.
“It’s not fair.” he muttered to Dash as he caught up to her.
“What?”
“Pinkie is totally immune to sarcasm yet uses it herself.” Soarin complained.
“She’s like that.” Dash retorted.
Soarin harrumphed loudly. “Still doesn't make it fair.”
“Soarin, stop bitching and shut up.”
The stallion they had been directed too looked like a typical pen pusher. Slick mane, expensive accessories, he had it all. He even emanated an aura of self-superiority.
“This’ll be fun.” Dash muttered crossly. “Wonder what he wants us to do now. I’m guessing shoving a cloud up that massive arse of his isn’t it though.”
Soarin shook his head Her absolute lack of diplomacy skills didn’t surprise him.
“Rainbow Dash I presume?” The businesspony asked snidely.
She nodded.
“Do you mind if we take this outside? It’s a bit...” He wrinkled his nose disapprovingly. “Loud in here. You can bring your lackey with you.” he said gesturing at Soarin. He gave the room one more condescending look before stepping outside.
“Lackey?” Soarin growled. “Does he even know who I am?”
“He probably doesn’t care, he’s above you on the chain of command and that’s all he cares about.” Rainbow said with a shrug “Now come lackey!” She yelled, slapping Soarin’s flank.
Soarin glared at her but she was already outside and didn’t suffer the wrath of his baleful gaze.
“She’s gonna pay for that...”
“Okay, what’s up? I never get one of you...” Soarin hoped she chose her next words carefully. “Administrative, people out here unless you need our help. So it must be something important. you want us to do” Dash crossed her hooves and gave the stallion a less than friendly look.
“I represent the manufacturing division of the Equestrian Weather Service and you are correct in your assumption Ms. Dash, we do require your assistance..” He purred.
“What happened now, a few little clouds go rogue or something?” Dash sneered dismissively.
“No, due to an unforeseen fault in a new experimental prototype, lets just say... We have a small problem. Nothing your little team couldn’t handle though I’m assured.”
“And why have you come to us? There are plenty of teams on Cloudsdale better suited for this task.”
“The company has sunk a considerable amount of time and money into this prototype, If word of this little accident got out, it could cause a lot of bad publicity. Something we don’t particularly want to deal with. Your team is small enough and out of the way enough that we could use you without raising any suspicion in Cloudsdale. In addition, if one of you did blab, this little hamlet is small enough that no harm would come from it.”
Rainbow Dash glared at him as he smirked.
“What’s in it for us?” Soarin asked.
“You will be well imbursed for your service, I assure you.”
Both Soarin and Dash perked up slightly.
“Alright, what do we have to do?” Rainbow asked.
“Follow the directions in this envelope, and dispose of it after reading.” He pulled a small brown envelope out of his briefcase and handed it to Rainbow Dash.
“Now if we are done here, I must leave. I have more important business that doesn’t concern rabble like you.”
Rainbow Dash growled, eliciting another smirk from the businesspony.
“Good evening.” he said snidely, tipping his hat before taking off, making a beeline towards the Capital.
“Wow, what an arsehole.” Soarin said.
“Tell me about it.” Rainbow muttered, tucking the envelope under a wing.
“Ok, what’s going on? I totally had it with that mare back at the party.” Thunderlane complained.
“The only thing you were going to get Thunderlane, was a kick to the face.” Rainbow growled.
“Oh please, she was all over me.” Thunderlane insisted.
“Thunderlane, shut up.” Soarin barked.
“Who put you in charge?”
“Thunderlane, shut the hell up. Now.” Dash ordered.
“Fine...” He mumbled.
“Anyway, back at it... What’s happening? You kind of got us together in a rush.” Doc asked trying to get the conversation re-railed.
Dash ran a hoof through her mane before she continued.
“Shit’s broken and they need us to fix it because we’re awesome or something. More or less some idiot cranked the controls on a new prototype up to eleven without reading the manual and now it’s broken and spewing clouds everywhere. Mr. Head-up-his-arse-so-high-it-goes all-the-way-through is apparently going to reward us for doing this discretely, so don’t blab to everpony about it ok? If you need to know anything else, just have a look through this file which never existed.” She threw the now unsealed envelope on the ground.
“Those machines have manuals?” Flitter asked, looking down at the brown envelope.
Rainbow Dash ignored her.
“So are you guys in or will I have to force you to go?”
The others all nodded their heads in approval.
“I’m down.”
“We’re in.” Cloud Chaser and Flitter said together.
“Let’s have a go at it!”
They all turned to look at Soarin, who hadn’t said anything. He flashed a small grin.
“I’m in, we’re getting paid just to get rid of a few harmless clouds right, how bad could it be?”
“Are you sure we’re going the right way?” Doc yelled from the back of their loose formation.
“Sure I’m sure.” Rainbow Dash yelled back, pulling out the map supplied in the documents. Using the newly risen moon and stars for guidance, she pointed their approximate location out.
“See, right where we should be!” she thrust the map in Doc’s face.
“Well you’ve done something wrong, because there’s nothing here.” Doc snapped. He lowered the map and gestured to open countryside. None of the pegasi had seen any signs of civilisation for the last few hours and the desolate landscape bearing no signs of any form of facility they expected the device to be in.
“And don’t you think if this was spewing clouds everywhere, we’d see them by now?” Thunderlane piped up.
“Are you saying I can’t navigate?”
“I’m saying we’re lost.” Thunderlane said snidely.
“We’re not lost. Being lost isn’t about knowing where you are, it’s about knowing where you aren’t. And I don’t give a shit where we aren’t.”
“I’m not sure if that’s incredibly profound or not.” Soarin muttered, his eyes scanning the sky for anything out of the ordinary. He shook his head, his vision slightly fuzzy. He frowned when the effect didn’t pass.
“Hey is it just me or does the horizon look kinda... fuzzy.” Soarin asked.
Nopony heard him, they were too caught up in the petty argument between Doc and Rainbow Dash about the ability of mares to read maps and navigate.
Soarin let out an exasperated sigh and took a few flaps towards the strange haze.
“WHOA!” He cried out in surprise as a swirling mass or grey cloud suddenly appeared in front of him. He instinctively backpedalled and the massive cloud vanished.
“You guys see that?” He yelled out.
“See what?” Flitter asked.
“Big... Huge... Grey...Cloud thingy.”
“Sentences. Use them.” Doc snapped.
“There was a big huge cloud right there.” Soarin insisted, pointing his hoof at thin air.
“There’s nothing there mate.” Thunderlane said in a tone that made it quite clear that he thought Soarin had finally gone mad.
“How could you not see it! It was right there!” Soarin insisted.
“How much did you have to drink at the party?”
“Shut up Thunderlane.” Soarin growled.
“It was right here!” Soarin stated, flying back to where he had seen the cloud.
What he had not expected though was the sudden cry of surprise from the rest of the weather team.
“Soarin!”
“Where’d he go?!”
Soarin spun back around. “I’m right here!” He yelled.
“Soarin, where did you go?” Rainbow Dash yelled back.
“I just flew a few metres forward.” Soarin yelled, the cloud rubbing up against his tail menacingly.
“We can’t see you!”
“Well come towards my voice then!”
Rainbow looked from side to side before ploughing headfirst towards where she had last heard Soarin’s voice.
Predictably, she crashed headfirst into him, sending them both tumbling across the cloud strewn sky.
“Celestia damn it, I didn’t mean literally come at me.” Soarin snapped as they ploughed into a cloud. Several large bolts of lightning erupted harmlessly into the sky from the unstable storm cell.
“Sorry.” Dash muttered, trying to free herself from the tangle fo limbs they were in.
“Sheesh you guys, get a room. You’re alone for less than a second and you’re all over each other.” Thunderlane teased as the others landed more gracefully on the angry looking cloud next to them.
“Thunderlane, shut the hell up.” Dash growled, untangling her hind legs from around Soarin’s neck. The look she was giving the grey pegasus was positively murderous.
“Shutting up ma’am.” Thunderlane responded meekly.
“Keep it that way.” Dash muttered, leaping off Soarin and shaking herself off.
“Okay, what now?” Doc asked, poking a cloud above him experimentally causing a small spark of electricity to shock the curious pegasus. “This weather doesn’t look very friendly.” He mumbled, rubbing his hoof where he had been zapped.
“No shit.” Cloud Chaser grumbled, her mane standing on edge from the almost palpable electric charge. Soarin resisted the urge to laugh as Flitter played with her poofy hair.
“I guess I should have kept my mouth shut when I said harmless clouds.” Soarin said.
“Yeah, you should’ve kept your fat mou-.” Thunderlane started but was cut off from a venomous look from Dash.
“Here’s the plan, we split up and look for the machine which is making this mess and shut it off. I don't care if you have to pull it apart and eat the pieces, just shut it down. Mr. Arse-hat said we have to get rid of it so that’s all we have to do. From now on, these clouds have a somepony-else's-problem-field around them okay? He didn’t say anything about these clouds and I’m not sure about you guys, but I’m not game enough to buck one.” She paused and looked around the mismatched group as they nodded in agreement. “Thunderlane go with Cloud Chaser and take the left flank, Doc go with Flitter to the right. Soarin you’re with me. We’re going right up the middle.”
“Cosy.” Soarin remarked.
“Kinky more like it.” Thunderlane snickered.
“Did I ask for your opinion Thunderlane? No, so zip it.” Rainbow ordered. “Now if you lose sight of the clouds fly back the way you came. As we saw before this place seems to have some sort invisibility spell bubble thing around it. Whatever it is, I’m sure Twilight would have a field day with it. The bubble seems to also be containing them so lets try to keep it that way.” She flared her wings dramatically. “Any questions?”
The quiet rumble of distant thunder reached them.
“Good, let’s go!”
“So what’s the grand master plan, we find this thing and just tear it to pieces?” Soarin asked, flying through the dense clouds slowly so as not to strain his wings. The distant rumble of thunder had been constantly growing louder and if were possible, it looked as if the clouds were getting darker by the minute. Even without experience in weather keeping, Soarin could tell they were in for a near literal shitstorm.
“More or less!”
Soarin cursed as a light spattering of rain started, neither he or Dash had goggles. A bright bolt of lightning lashed out across the sky, leaving a bright afterimage burnt into Soarin retinas.
“This weather is getting worse by the second! This is becoming too dangerous to fly in!” Soarin yelled out over the resulting thunder.
“As if, I’ve flown in worse in my sleep.” Rainbow Dash yelled cockily. As if on cue, another bolt of lightning struck out, missing her by a few meters. Despite the danger, Soarin found it oddly beautiful.
“Shit, you okay Rainbow Dash? Anything I can do to help?”
“Shut the hell up and let me fly!”
She pulled ahead of him slightly, giving his eyes another beautiful sight. ‘Shit, get it together Soarin!’ he mentally rebuked himself.
‘But it’s such a nice sight.’
‘Stop ogling at her arse and fly you idiot.’
Soarin’s eyes snapped to the fore as he ducked under a vicious looking cloud that he hadn’t been paying attention too.
“Hey, trooper. Eyes front.” Dash yelled out. “Maybe instead of checking my flank out, you could keep an eye out for that damn machine? It’s got to be around here somewhere.”
Soarin flushed red with embarrassment as he averted his eyes.
He blinked in surprise as Rainbow suddenly vanished from in front of him in a near vertical dive.
“Found something!” She yelled out.
Following her in a much more controlled dive, Soarin spotted a large, drab looking cloud factory surrounded by a web of almost jet black clouds.
“Dash wait up!” Soarin yelled.
“I’m not the fastest pegasus in Equestria for nothing!” she yelled, remembering to pull out of her kamikaze dive.
“Yeah, I know.” Soarin deadpanned, dropping next to her. “Now what? You’d be mad to try to get through there, it’s far too dangerous.” Soarin said, scanning for a safe path through the ring of clouds in an almost defensive position around the experimental factory. Forks of lightning danced across from cloud to cloud, making finding a clear path through the unpredictable cell difficult.. The constant rumble of thunder pounded on Soarin’s ears.
“Danger is my middle name.” She stated proudly, a cocky smirk appearing on her face.
“Oh you’re not going...” Soarin started but was cut off mid sentence as Dash whizzed past him past him towards the factory. “Yep, she is...” He muttered as she powered towards the volatile web of clouds.
No way...” Soarin stuttered as she weaved between the clouds with apparent ease. “She’s gonna do it.” he breathed as as she neared the end of gauntlet.
He should have learnt by that point to keep his damn mouth shut.
A large bolt of pure white erupted out a cloud and lanced through the sky towards the cyan blue pegasus. Soarin let out a strangled warning but it was drowned out by a deafening crack of thunder. Soarin watched in horror as Rainbow tumbled out of sky, thankfully into the somewhat stable weather factory. A comically loud crash of falling shelves came from the factory as she ploughed through a wall.
“DASH!” Soarin yelled, flying as close to the clouds as he dared. “YOU OKAY?”
No response.
‘Comeon, comeon comeon...’ He thought, flapping back and forth helplessly, watching for some movement.
“RAINBOW?” he yelled out again.
Chuck Testa.
Soarin eyed the clouds nervously. He had no urge to fly in there himself and help her. No way was he going to get his own arse singed to save hers, regardless of how good looking it was.
‘Aww hell.’ Soarin thought as he scanned the storm wracked skies for any sign of the other pegasi.
Again, no dice.
“Dash, if you can hear me, stay put. I’m coming in.” Soarin yelled cautiously, realising in hindsight how bad that sounded.
Steeling himself, Soarin lunged towards the largest gap in the clouds he could see, the odd tingle of electric charge building in his extremities. Ducking under a monster of a cloud blocking his path, Soarin felt his wings straining to keep him aloft as he pulled up on the other side.
“Oh not now!” he growled as he rolled through a small gap, the tips of his wings brushing gently against the edge of the cloud.
“GEWYAHH!” He cried out as a sudden jolt of energy lept over his wings. Panting heavily, he dove under another cloud, his wings aching painfully.
“Comeon, comeon!” he grunted as he whipped between a gap in the cloud cover, careful to not let his wings touch the cloud again. He flared his wings suddenly to avoid a spear of lightning throw at him by the angry storm.
“Almost there!” He told himself as his one of his wings started cramping from the extreme maneuvers. He dove over the last cloud in his way before touching down roughly on the factory floor. Taking a moment to let his throbbing wings recuperate, Soarin spied the hole Rainbow Dash’s unsubtle entry had made.
“Hey Rainbow Dash, you alright?” he asked trotting over to the hole.
“What do you think you twat?” A gruff voice quietly answered from underneath a stack of destroyed shelves.
Soarin grinned widely, try to ignore the throbbing pain across his wings.
“Nice to see you’re alive, thanks for coming to save me Soarin.” He said in a poor imitation of her voice. “I see you’re feeling particularly bitchy right now..” Soarin said dropping back to his own voice with a hint of bemusement as he probed around in the rubble trying to find her.
“Soarin...” She warned.
“You seem upset. Have I rustled your wings?” Soarin asked cheekily as he groped around blindly.
“Don’t make me.” Dash growled.
“Well at least you appear to be a good wrecking ball. You haven’t been putting on weight have you?”
“SOARIN!, GET ME OUT OF HERE.”
Soarin snickered lightly as his hoof struck something organic.
“That you?” He asked.
“Yes, now get your hoof out of my arse and get me out of this mess. I’m not in the mood for this right now.” Dash barked.
Soarin withdrew his hoof immediately and bounced on the pile, digging it away efficiently with his hooves.
“Hey Dashie.” He teased when her unamused face appeared.
“Fuck you.”
“I’d say something but I think Thunderlane already took my line.” Soarin replied wryly, unble to resist poking a little more fun at the trapped mare.
“I’m going to murder you, slowly and painfully.” Rainbow Dash growled, struggling to free the rest of her body.
“How is that any way to treat your rescuer? I risked my flank to save yours.”
“Maybe if you’d been paying more attention rather than gazing at mine I wouldn’t be in this mess.”
“Unlikely.” Soarin said curtly, shifting the last of the debris away. “You’ve made quite a mess.”
“What’s worse than Soarin dead in a bucket?” Dash asked, pulling herself up shakily..
“What?”
“Soarin dead in ten buckets. See where I’m going here?”
Soarin grinned meekly.
Rainbow smirked. “Better, now lets get this machine off.”
Soarin stifled a laugh.
“What? Is there something on my face?” She asked, going cross-eyed.
“Have a look at yourself.”
“Wha- WHAT?” She asked, looking down at her legs. Her normally light blue coat was now a charcoal black. The patchy blue and black effect was a stark contrast to her usual impeccably clean coat.
“Now you look worse than a bad OC.” Soarin grinned.
“Soarin?”
“Yeah?”
Dash punched him square in the jaw, knocking him down to floor.
“Right! Got it.”
Following Rainbow out of the room, the pair found themselves in a large open factory space. In the centre of the room, a large complicated looking device towered over them. A large hole in the roof was positioned above the machine, allowing a constant stream of produced clouds to leave factory.
“Would you look at the size of that thing.” Soarin said in awe.
“Eh, I’ve seen bigger.” Dash said throwing him a ‘If you know what I mean’ look which caused Soarin to flush red “Embarrassed Soarin? Nothing personal.” she said with a snicker.
“Drop it Dash.”
“Whatever.” She muttered, limping towards the machine. “Over there looks like a good place to start.” she said pointing at a set of controls which were attached by a series of thick cables to the roaring machine.
“You okay?” Soarin asked as she tripped over herself.
“Fine, never better.” She lied.
“No you’re not.” Soarin said, catching her as she toppled forward.
“I can stand.” She breathed, pushing Soarin away before falling to the ground again.
“You’re a stubborn mule, you know that?” Soarin asked, picking her up and draping her across his back.
“Put me down.” Dash complained. Soarin guessed from the look on her face and her struggles she felt completely undignified.
“No.”
“Please, this is embarrassing.” she whined.
“There is nopony else to see you Rainbow so stop whining.”
“Fine...” She grumbled reluctantly, settling her head down on his back. “You, control panel, now. Hi-yah!”
Soarin chuckled again and moved over to the control panel.
Surprisingly, it was still on.
“You’d think they’d just you know... turn it off?” Soarin muttered as he looked around at the dizzying number of switches and dials. Most were turned up beyond eleven, there was even a particularly important looking one which read over 10000 and was steadily rising.
“You’re the expert, what the hell does this stuff mean?” Soarin asked his passenger.
“Those ones over there are the input controls, that one should be the release valve and those three over there control the temperature. Well they should at least. That number is the number of clouds produced and those dials show the saturation settings.”
“How does any of this help?”
“I don’t know, just bash random buttons and see what happens!”
“Alrighty then!” Soarin shot back, he peered closely at the board, reading the few letters under each button. One large red one labeled ‘MSTR STP’ appealed particularly to him.
“Nothing ventured, nothing gained!” He said, jabbing down on the button.
The loud roar of the machine slowly died down to a low whir and the stream of clouds suddenly vanished. A loud ominous groaning and a few muffled bangs were heard, making Soarin look around cautiously.
“What did you do?” Dash yelled, craning her neck to look at the board.
“Shut it off I think...” Soarin breathed as the noises in the machine died down. A few dials on the control panel kept jerking sporadically but most dropped to zero.
“Well that was... Anticlimactic.” Dash summerised. as a pair of needles peaked in their red zones.
“Yeah.. a bit.” Soarin said slightly disappointedly as he craned his neck around, almost hoping for something to happen.
Then the machine exploded.