It was a typical day at the bakery, not much happening. The cakes sat still, the muffins sat still, the me sat still. The birds sang quietly; a little TOO quiet if you ask me, and everypony ALWAYS asks for the help of PINKAMINA DIANE PIE, SUPER-DUPER DETECTIVE!!!!!!! I am going to make chocolate peanut butter banana nutella apple cinnamon muffins when-
"Hey Pinkie. What's up-"
"NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS!!!!" I say, a dark look plastered on my face.
"Pinkie, you really need to stop watching those old detective movies." Twilight was up to something, but I couldn't tell what...
"I CAN QUIT WHENEVER I WANT!!!!!"
"Can I just order some orange cupcakes and get out of here?" She says. I hate it when people complain about being in my bakery because it makes me feel like I'm not good enough for them.
"Okay!" I bounced over to the pantry and started makingCUPCAKES! "Are ya sure you don't want anyCANDY in yourCUPCAKES?!?!?!?!"
"No, these are for my grandma, and she just wants a dozen orange cupcakes."
Twilight is definitely up to something.... Who wouldn't putCANDY in theirCUPCAKES?!?!?!
"Here are yourCUPCAKES Twilight!!" It has been exactly two hours, thirty seven minutes, and seventy three seconds since she was last in here... Suspicious....
"Thanks, Pinkie."
The door closes with a slam, and I hear Twilight yelp. "Another twelve cupcakes sold, thanks to Pinkie." I am so super! OR SO I THINK!
A few minutes have passed, two minutes, thirty twelve seconds to be exact, and Twilight comes back in the bakery... VERY suspicious......
"Hey, Pinkie. I think I ordered twelve cupcakes, not..... Three."
"Huh?" This mystery is quite perplexing....
"Well.... I may not be counting correctly, but I think there are only THREE CUPCAKES. ARE YOU TRYING TO TRICK ME OUT OF MY MONEY?" From my long studies of her body language, I have concluded.... She is angry.
"LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR.... PINKAMINA DIANE PIE, SUPER-DUPER DETECTIVE!!!!!!"
"Come on, Pinkie. No need to go through all this trou-"
"If the cupcakes had orange icing, then theCUPCAKE caper must have had an orange coat to hide the icing stains cuz the icing stains really bad- oops Mrs. Cake told me not to tell anyone that sorry Twilight but you either have to die or the easier way is to pinkie swear that you won't tell anyone cuz if you do then Mrs. Cake will fire me and then I'll die cuz I won't have enough money to feed my children when I have children exept I probably won't have children cuz I've friend zoned about every guy here and that's pretty sucky for me because now I can't have children and if I can't have children the Pie family name will no longer exist I mean wait I have siblings to carry the name but I still want to have children and also I want an apple cuz they sound good exept I dont have any apples so I could go talk to Applejack- GASP!!!!"
"Pinkie, Applejack did not steal my cupcakes."
"But it all makes sense! Her coat is orange, so she could hide the icing stain!"
"Please tell me you aren't going to arrest Applejack."
"Stealing is a crime!"
"Just make more cupcakes! This is taking way longer than it needs too."
"PINKIE DOES NOT GIVE UP!!!"
I grabbed Twilights mane and dragged her along the muddy path to Applejack's barn.
"APPLEJACK!" I used my best accusation voice.
"Mother of Celestia... What now, Pinkie?"
"YOU STOLE TWILIGHT'S CUPCAKES!!!!"
"I- wha?"
"Pinkie, Applejack could not have stolen the cupcakes. She was too far away!"
"That's just what she WANTS you to think!"
"Then how in the hay do you think I stole the cupcakes?" She was staring at me, her eyes piercingly bored.
"It all started when....."
Twilight happily danced out the doors to the bakery. The door slammed shut behind her, making her jump slightly. As a result, the box of cupcakes flew high in the air.
"Oh no! My cupcakes! They will most certainly be stolen!!!!" Her voice was a perfect blend of fear and more fear.
When the cupcakes were high in the air, Applejack LASSOED the cupcake box, stole eight cupcakes, and ran away!!! THE END
"What. The. Hay. Was. That?"
"Uh... Pinkie? Twelve minus three is nine, not eight..."
"I SAID NINE!!!"
"Ahm afraid ya didn't, sugarcube."
"Also, I think I would have noticed if Applejack lassoed my cupcakes in mid air."
I have to admit they're right. But Twilight said she didn't notice anypony stealing theCUPCAKES!!
"Well if you didn't see anyone take the cupcakes they must have been moving REALLY fast and one day I hope I can drive a racecar because they move fast and did you know racecar is the same forwards and backwards- RACECAR RACECAR RACECAR RACECAR RACECAR RACECAR RRRRAAAACCCEEEECCCCAAAARRRR- how many other words do that EXEPT for a lot and I mean racecars are fun but they'll never move as fast as Rainbow-GASP!!!"
"Pinkie, come on. Rainbow did not steal the cupcakes-"
"EVERYONE IS A SUSPECT!!!!"
"Rainbow doesn't even like oranges!!!!"
I didn't listen. I grabbed their tails and pulled them to Rainbow's cloud.
"Hey, Pink! What's up?"
"Oh nothing much- Gilda."
"Oh Celestia, not this lame kid again." Gilda has a terrifying expression on her face, so I make an even more terrifyinger face.
"Sugarcube, are you ok?"
"YOU STAY OUTTA THIS APPLEJACK!!!" I snap.
"Ugh you are so LAME! Pink is such a girly color!" Gilda shouts at me. If you haven't noticed, our relationship is pretty complicated.
"Well orange beaks are stupid!"
"At least I have WINGS to fly fast!"
"Well I-GASP!!!!"
"Pinkie, Gilda didn't steal my-"
"YOU DID IT!! YOU STOLE THE CUPCAKES!!!!"
"YEAH!! AND WHAT ARE YOU GUNNA DO ABOUT IT LAME-O?"
"Uh...." No! A flaw in my plan! "Uhhhhhhhhh...... AHA! You have to pay Twilight! Wait, where's Twilight? Where's Gilda and Dash and AJ?"
Out of nowhere, zombies start attacking me! I pull out a sword, and am instantly worried. Swords can't kill zombies! But.... Orange cupcakes can!!!
"DIE ZOMBIES!!!!!!"
Ditzy "Derpy" Doo awoke from her painfully boring and perplexing dream. She felt as though her brain had been hit with a confusion spell, and she was correct. She desperately searched for some memory of last night, anything that would make her remember. She checked under the couch, in her vacuum cleaner, and lastly in the pantry, and what she found made her scream louder than ever possible.
WHAT IS SCARING DERPY SO? WHY IS HER HAIR PINK- i mean wait you don't know that yet FORGET EVERYTHING I SAID