//------------------------------// // We've got hostiles // Story: The Unstoppable Moron // by aegishailstorm //------------------------------// "Uhhh, what time is it?" Joey slumped out of bed and looked over at his nightstand. "9:30? Hey, William, wake up!" He looked over at the bed on the far side of the room to find it empty. He looked out the open window to find William standing on the balcony, gazing out over the town below. "Oh, good, you're up. Let's get some food." "Alright." They left their room and walked downstairs, on the way they were greeted by Twilight. "How'd your night go?" She asked them. "Horrible." They both replied. "Why?" William went first." Well, that's an interesting question, in my dream, I was shot, stabbed, blown up, and ripped in half multiple times." "Wouldn't that be considered a nightmare, and didn't Luna try to help?" "She did, but as soon as one of the demons came at her with a chainsaw, she just left. Long story." "Thats terrible!" "Oh no, you misunderstand, I won. For me the difference between a dream and a nightmare is whether or not I'm armed." They both looked at him with mild concern. Joey spoke up. "I don't know what happened, I fell asleep, and my wings were aching." "Did you sleep on them?" "Uh, I don't remember." "Try to not lay on them for to long, I should know, I had the same problem when I got my wings." "Thanks, we were just heading out for breakfast." "Mind if I come with you?" "Sure." Relied Joey, William growled in the background. The three of them headed off towards town. About 30ish minutes later... The 3 of them sat down in front of Pinkie's bakery with their food. William was watching as Joey devoured his donut with his hooves. "Hey, Joey, you know, that horn isn't just for decoration, just look at Twilight." He gestured over to her, levitating her donut several feet off the ground. "Try it." "Ok...How?" "That's a very good question, Twilight, Joey here wants to learn how to levitate things, teach him!!!" "Well, alright, try and focus on the donut, imagine it floating." "Ok..." Joey gave it a try, and sure enough, it worked, the donut lifted up off the ground. "Hah! Yes!!!" Joey finished eating, and stood up. "So, what now?" "We've actually got a fair going on in Canterlot, if you guys want to come that is." "Sure." Replied Joey, William on the other hand, was tapping his foot, thinking it over. "Hmmm, I hate public events, but on the other hand, I have a gut felling that I should be there. They walked off towards the edge of town, where they were greeted by the remaining 5 of the six. "Alright, how we getting to Canterlot? Oh, nevermind. Balloon." The 8 of them boarded it and it lifted off, headed off towards mount Canterhorn. "Interesting question, how did it get the name Canterlot in the first place?" Asked Joey. Resulting a collective "I duno." From the 6. About 2 hours later... The 8 of them landed in Canterlot, and the six went their separate ways, leaving William and Joey alone on the landing platform. The journeys from Ponyville to Canterlot is an overnight trip by train, how the hell did we get here in 2 hours?" Joey looked at him with confusion. "How do you know that?" "Classified." Joey just nodded, he knew better than to question William on something he labeled "Classified" That would usual...badly to say the least. "So, what do we do now?" asked Joey. "You're an alicorn, and a friend of Twilight, who might I also mention is royalty, poke around the fair, have fun, just don't get in trouble. I'm going to go make ponies lives miserable." "Ummmm... Ok." They headed their separate ways. William turned and walked right out the city gates, completely ignore the guards calls to stop, he walked to the crest of Canterhorn mountain, sat down on a bench, and fell asleep. Joey, seeing that William was gone, spread his wings and flew off into the sky, gazing down on the city below him. "Wow, this'll never get old." Eventually, he got tired and flew back down, deciding to explore the actual fair rather than flying above it. William woke back up from his quick nap, and headed back down into the city, completely ignoring the guards call for him to stop. He found himself standing before a squad of them, blocking his path. "Listen, I heard you loud and clear, I'll have you know that I'm a guest of the princesses, so leave me be." "We'll need you to show us some Identification before we let you through." "Oh for the love of- Please move over and let me though, seriously, you do not want to make me angry." "Was that a threat sir?" They moved in on him. " I warned you!" He raised a cattle prod in one hand, and a Glock 18 in the other, and charged at the approaching guards. "Stop!" He turned to see Rainbow dash and Joey galloping towards him. "No one needs to get hurt, he's our guest, that doesn't change, no matter how weird he gets." Shouted out Rainbow dash. "Uh, sorry ma'am." The guards returned to their original positions around the gate. "William, calm yourself, they were just doing their jobs." "I know, I have no respect whatsoever for foreign law enforcement, don know why, I just always have. You of all people should know that." Joey gave no response, the 4 of them walked back into the city without saying another word to each other. In the city square, they found the others, who looked o be in the middle of...singing? Just then, Twilight came flying in the square. Rainbow joined her friends, William and Joey just stood there, Hands clasped over his ears in anger. He looked over at Joey, to find him singing along with the rest of them. "Oh god, MAKE IT STOP!!!" He both shouted out. William's pleas fell on def ears. "Fine! William raised is Glock to the sky the six stopped singing, they knew full well what was about to happen, and the rest of them followed suit. "Please, never, ever do that again!" He turned to Joey. Face twitching from anger. "You, listen here..." He was interrupted when he heard an explosion. He dropped to the ground out of instinct. He looked up to a massive...cake fall out of the sky and land on Twilight. "This keeps getting weirder and weirder..." He looked up to see Pinkie, standing on what appeared to be a giant cannon that looked like It was straight form a cartoon. "Oi, retard, yeah you, up there! I don't care what you have to say for yourself, but I do. You BELONG IN A MENTAL AS-" William was cut off when Joey poked him and gestured up at the sky. William looked up to see a massive formation of dark clouds slowly approaching Canterlot, and something was emerging from it. It looked like the bow of a ship. "Wow, really? Hey Joey, I bet you 5 bucks they're hostile." He holstered his Glock, and swapped over to an rpg 7. Training it on the emerging airship.