//------------------------------// // Twilight's life as a newborn changeling 4: Inner soul // Story: The Many Lives Of Twilight Sparkle // by Shitbewackyo //------------------------------// Twilight shifted, trying to cast off the numb feeling in her limbs as she stirred from unconsciousness. The numbness slowly subsided as she continued to shift and the rocky floor scraped uncomfortably against her carapace. It was as if her spirit had been stolen from her body, and now she was slowly slipping back into the shell that was her flesh. It felt slimy and wrong, as her feverish shivers attested to. Finally, she was inside once more, and a void within her flared like a bonfire, but despite its demanding burning, it was weak, powerless, unlike the hungry fog that had set over her mind back then. When she settled back into her head and her body felt more like her body rather than a shell she noticed something foreign. Something warm and smooth was tenderly caressing the insides of her mouth. It explored her mouth as its warmth spread all across her shivering flesh, all the way from the focal point in her mouth, like a stout tree sprouting from a small sapling. Something within herself was telling Twilight to open her eyes, to see what was happening to her and what the intruder was, but she couldn’t quite parse the thoughts in her state. Still, instinct willed her eyes to open, but she found them shut by a hard substance. Panic swelled within her but her eyes just wouldn’t open. The intruder, her eyes, blackness, Twilight could only think in simple terms and so she lashed out against the only thing she could comprehend, the intruder. She weakly swayed her head from side to side, trying to dislodge it, and seeing her distress the intruder reluctantly left her mouth. But the moment it was gone the dizziness took hold of Twilight again and now it was as if she was falling out of her body again. Twilight cried, reaching out for it like a baby desperately searching for its mother's teat. It re-entered her mouth and she sucked, squeezing it with her lips as her tongue coiled around it. Where before she could only feel a vague warmth now Twilight saw it as a distinct stream of energy that was flowing from the intruder and into her. Each drop of energy focused her mind more and more, awaking it from the daze it had been in when she awoke. And with each drop, the void within her calmed, until it was nothing more than a vague feeling of unease and wrongness. She started questioning her situation, she remembered that she had hooves and that she wasn’t alone- ‘Zecora!’ The invader left as Twilight rubbed her eyes with a shaking hoof, trying to fight through her fatigue and nausea to see Zecora. She ignored the gnawing feeling within and got rid of the sticky and crusty substance that was sealing her eyes shut. The first thing she saw was Zecora smiling at her. Her face was covered by healing wounds, bruises and some of the gauntness remained, but she was alive, she was healthy, she had been cured! “My welcome I am giving, as I’m happy to see you in the land of the living.” Twilight couldn’t believe it, she jumped to her hooves, nothing in her mind besides the triumphant, relieved thought that Zecora would be ok. She hugged Zecora, burying her muzzle in Zecora's dirty fur and focusing on that sensation, that warm sensation of her fur under her hooves, the sensation that proved beyond all doubt that she would be okay. Zecora’s soul was fine. “Oh thank Celestia, Zecora! I-I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry for what happened, I don’t know what I did wrong. I shouldn't have descended to that state, it wasn’t supposed to be possible, but I’m so happy that you’re ok and that your soul is fine. I thought I had…” Twilight stopped her tirade as a thought struck through her mind like thunder. She looked down on her hooves and remembered that she was a changeling now, a common drone that Zecora shouldn’t know was actually Twilight. And yet when she looked back to Zecora the Zebra continued to smile. “There’s no need to apologize, my queen, for this humble servant it’s enough to be seen.” Time froze for Twilight, the words replaying over and over again. “Zecora... what did you call me?” She’d have begged if the still horrified rational part of her thought it would have helped. “Queen is the name I use, and for a changeling like you that shouldn’t be news.” She backed away from Zecora, never looking away. The next words came out so quiet that they were barely said. “And what were you doing while I woke up?” “What I was doing to you was kissing, to restore the lifeforce which you were missing.” Twilight vision fell as if she was a puppet whose strings had been cut. Her vision swam, her body stumbled, limbs froze and she was on the verge of puking. She dragged her foreleg against her mouth, with trepidation she smelled it. Spicy herbs and lotions hidden beneath an earthy smell, a scent that evoked memories of pleasant chats over a cup of tea, she wasn’t lying. “No…” How could this have happened? Was it because she went feral? Was it because Changelings fed like this? No, that was impossible, they had checked Shining and nothing was wrong with him afterwards. Then why? “Do not be so sad, I assure you that my adoration won’t be a fad.” Twilight spun her head around, almost like a reptile, and glared at Zecora. She walked to Zecora, her steps quickening the closer she came. “Zecora, do you know who I am? Do you know what you’re saying?” Twilight shouted, at this point not even caring if somepony outside heard her. “All I know is your majesty, but this humble servant hopes to learn more, anything else would be a travesty.” Twilight hung her head. Zecora wasn’t happy to see her when she woke up because she was a friend, if she could even be called that anymore. After all, how in the world would she recognize a changeling drone? Yes, that’s all Twilight was now, a common love-hungry changeling. The silence between them extended. Nothing but the soft blow of wind could be heard in the cave. “Zecora, if I told you to kill Applejack, would you?” Twilight broke the silence. “Of course.” Zecora didn’t even hesitate. “Rainbow Dash?” This time the question came faster. “Yes.” Zecora barely finished her answer when Twilight continued. “Pinkie?“ “Yes.” “M-Twilight?” Zecora smiled, just smiled, to Twilight's horror. “My queen, do not ask such silly things, I will always make sure to satisfy each of your whims.” But Twilight didn’t hear her words, she could only think of her next question, and of the answer she knew would follow. “Applebloom?” Twilight stuttered out. “Yes.” Zecora said calmly, like a parent explaining something to their child. Twilight detached herself from Zecora, turning away from her “Sweet Celestia…” “I can assure you, I’m sad that I have to even try, that my words aren’t merely a lie.” “You’re sad!?” Twilight shouted, turning around. She stared at her, but after not getting any response besides that smile she shook her head, calming down. This wasn’t Zecora's fault, and Twilight of all ponies had no right to be offended. “Zecora, I am Twilight, I used a potion on myself to become a changeling. You just told me that you’d be willing to kill my friends, to kill me, to kill Applebloom for Celestia’s sake!” The revelation didn’t phase Zecora even in the slightest. “Ah, I see then how my words might have made you feel, but still, if it’s your command then their fates I shall seal.” It was like a nightmare, the worst nightmare Twilight had ever had, but no matter what she just couldn’t wake up. “What have I done?!” Twilight clutched her head in her hooves as she laid down. Zecora came up to her and put a hoof on her shoulder. “Do not be sad, for what you’ve done has made me truly glad. I-” Twilight pushed Zecora’s hoof off her shoulder and stood up. “Stop it, Zecora! Stop saying these things, those are not your words, those are words that I implanted in you Zecora. I altered your inner soul, your core, I…I destroyed you.” She turned away, staring off into the skies beyond the cave. Zecora was silent for a second, waiting to see if her queen would continue her rant. “All you’ve done is give the book that is me a new cover-” “No Zecora.” Twilight said, eerily calm. “I ripped open your covers, tore out the pages, and attached some scribbles with tape. I destroyed you.” She was silent as she pushed past Zecora, not even looking her in the eye as she didn’t have the strength to do so. Twilight went to lie down next to the mouth of the cave. For a second she turned back. “You won’t have an afterlife because of me Zecora.” The forest was beautiful outside. There seemed to have been a short-lived rain across the entire forest that had left the treetops glistening in the midday sun, but now the clouds had gone, leaving behind an almost unmarred sky. The cloud over Zecora's house, however, was still spewing rain onto a smoking fire. A multitude of pegasi trails whizzed around, maintaining it. Further out she spotted other trails, making routine circles over the Everfree, probably searching for Zecora. And despite the smoking column, the earth-shattering revelation of what she’d done, and the slave that had replaced her friend standing behind her and waiting for her to finish thinking like a servile maid, everything seemed peaceful, nice. The sun’s rays were warm, Celestia had done an amazing job that day, the wind was cool and fresh and the birds were happily chirping across the canopy. It reminded her of the picnics she went on with her friends, just at the edge of the Everfree. Rainbow would show off, Applejack would get into a competition with her, Rarity would lament about this and that and gossip with Fluttershy and Pinkie would cheer on the competing pair while Twilight sat and enjoyed a book. Those moments were so nice, so what if they were routine? Why did she want to leave them behind? Twilight sighed. “Yes Zecora?” “Twilight, my queen, you are an element of harmony and a great mage, so do not sulk and do not cry, for this is not your final play on life’s stage.” Twilight sat there in silence and Zecora was more than content to let her stew on her words. Perhaps her queen finally understood her place? Hopefully, she would finally stop worrying about silly things and start ruling like she was supposed to. “You’re right Zecora. I am an element of harmony, I am a great, no, fantastic mage and I am the student of Princess Celestia herself.” She stood up, a fire burning in her eyes. “That means that you aren’t lost, Zecora. I can and I will heal you.” Twilight looked into Zecora’s eyes. “I will repair your soul.” But instead of thanking her Zecora chuckled. “My soul, surely you kid, nopony and nobody has ever achieved such a feat.” “They just didn’t try hard enough. Zecora, I’ve created a potion that can permanently alter somepony’s body, I’m one of the few that can cast a flawed time travel spell and I’m the element of magic. That means something, I can fix you.” She put her hoof on Zecora's chest. “I’m, I know that words can’t make up for what I’ve done, I know that what I did was monstrous but, I’m sorry Zecorra. I promise that I will fix you, even if I have to… even if I have to die for it.” Zecora looked down in confusion at Twilight's hoof but nodded. “If that is your desire then no more objections shall this situation inspire.” “Good. Don’t worry, I won’t let you down.” Twilight looked out into the forest again, a quiet smile breaking out on her face. Yes, she could fix her, but she’d need knowledge both lost and kept secret. She wouldn’t find any of that in Ponyville, so she’d have to leave. At least she could disguise herself, that way nopony would know of what she was doing. Nopony would have to live with what had happened. She remained in that spot, thinking about that. Twilight knew it had to be done, and she had even wanted to do something similar just a few days ago, but back then it was an experiment, a vacation. Now she was being forced out of her home. Eventually, her thoughts moved forward. She couldn’t bring Zecora along with her, not only would she render her ability to disguise mostly pointless but she also didn’t want to have an eternal reminder of what she’d done walking alongside her, even if she wouldn’t admit it. She had to get Zecora to safety, while also somehow explaining the mess their fight had caused. Several explanations went through her mind until she landed on one that was both believable and sufficiently provable. ‘Yes, that will do’ Twilight thought. “Zecora, are you able to disguise your-” she paused, trying to find a way to properly say it “nature?” “If my devotion is of what you speak, then yes, it wouldn’t be a grand feat.” “Then you’re going to walk back to Ponyville. Tell them that you were attacked by a maddened pack of Timberwolves that chased you out of your home. You hurt yourself and thus couldn’t go to Ponyville immediately. Got that?” “But Twilight, surely the townsfolk will suspect, after all, a Timberwolf’s brain isn’t known to defect.” “Yes, but I know for a fact that the Timberwolf pack closest to Applejack's farm lost a pup. Their behavior should match up with my description. Luckily they’re not looking for ponies, they’re looking for Changelings, so it should still be safe to traverse the forest.” Zecora thought about the statement and slowly a beaming smile grew on her as she realized what had happened. Her queen’s talk of a damaged soul, the lost timberwolf pup, it all clicked together. Even before her Queen had improved her she would be giddy at such a revolutionary new technique. Now she was ecstatic. “My queen, what an ingenious-” A hollow look from Twilight stopped Zecora in her praise, but her smile didn’t disappear. If her queen would let her she could offer her so many new options now. Twilight sighed and then continued. “When I turned myself into a Changeling, I fed a feral Changeling I found all of my memories, it is now posing as me back in Ponyville. Tell it, her, that you saw the timberwolves run back in the direction of Applejack's farm. She knows what I know, so she’ll be able to calm them.” She looked to where Zecora was standing and listening attentively to her order like a student would to their favorite professor. “And try to stay in Ponyville, I want to know where you are.” “When should I start my trek?” “Just go.” Twilight surrounded Zecora in a field of green magic, but she didn’t teleport her as she had intended to do, instead, she was left stewing on the situation, on Zecora. “And Zecora? Try to live your own life. Please, just, try to be happy by yourself. Before I come back and heal you.” “Haven’t I told you already, Twilight? Thanks to you every moment is as fulfill-” She didn’t get to finish her sentence as Twilight teleported her away to the forest floor in front of the cave before she could finish those damned words. Twilight faintly heard the sounds of hoofsteps making their way away from the clearing below, but she wasn’t listening. She walked as deep into the cave as she could, right beside the stockpiled fruits, and fell down. Everything felt hollow, and not because of any hunger.