//------------------------------// // Chapter Ten: Train To Misery. // Story: A Demon's Second Chance // by Perfectly Insane //------------------------------// I could count on one hand the amount of times I’ve heard Fluttershy’s softly spoken voice drop to a serious tone. Every time I’d heard it before, it stifled my thoughts and I straightened my body, hanging onto whatever she was about to say.  Now wasnt any different. As soon as she spoke, a shiver went up my spine that coincided with a lot of goosebumps. I held my arms to my side as I pressed my lips together, trying to recall if I read about anything called ‘Diamond Dogs’, but nothing came to mind other than a mention here or there.  “What are Diamond Dogs? Are they like Timberwolves?” I asked as I trudged to the chair beside the couch.  “Not really. I don’t know much other than what Rarity told me at the spa after she was ponynapped by them. They’re smart enough to wear clothes and talk, but spend almost all of their time underground because of their obsession with gems. We didn’t really get to talk in between them trying to force us into being ‘horses’, and then begging us to take Rarity back since they apparently couldn’t handle her whining.”  I wondered for a moment why a bunch of intelligent dogs would want gems. It made sense for dragons since they eat them, but not dogs. Did they just like them because they’re shiny? “Then why are they at Sugarcube Corner? Are there a lot of gems in Ponyville or something?”  “I love the Cakes, but they aren’t my family. Not by blood, anyway.” Pinkie stated, her monotone voice more than a little unsettling. “I grew up on a rock farm not that far away from here, and it’s where they still live. I get a letter from Marble at the end of every month, but I haven’t been there myself in years.”  She kept her head lowered as she talked, pulling her hand out of Fluttershy’s grip and awkwardly laced her fingers together. I hadn't known Pinkie very long, but seeing her like this was almost heart wrenching. When she's happy, it's almost infectious. Even I found it hard to be upset around her.  However, now Pinkie’s the one that needed cheering up, and I didn't know how.  “Are…” I hesitated in asking Fluttershy more about the Diamond Dogs. Pinkie’s clearly already upset. Talking about them couldn’t be helping. Yet, I didn’t know what else to say. The rigid silence was killing me. “-they dangerous?” I asked as I turned to Fluttershy, noticing that my knee was rapidly bouncing. I tried to stop it, just for it to start again as soon as I looked back up. She pursed her lips and furrowed her eyebrows, not taking her worried gaze off Pinkie for even a second. Judging from how stiff she looked and how strained her smile was, she wanted to help Pinkie, but is just as stumped as I am. Though I’m sure she felt a lot worse about it than I do. “Not usually.” she whispered. “They only took Rarity because she knows a spell to locate gems. They’ve never harmed ponies before, as far as I know. But they’ve never lived so close to where ponies have before, either. It’s odd.”  “Which is why I don’t want to wait anymore!” Pinkie abruptly said, her voice rising as she raised her head and turned to Fluttershy. “Maud’s on the other side of the country, and we don’t really have any other relatives. I’m the only one that can help them!”  At first, I mistook Pinkie as angry. Then I heard the strain in her voice and saw how tightly she clenched her hands, and realized it wasn't not anger; it was desperation.  “That doesn’t mean you should go by yourself!” Fluttershy retorted, her wings slightly expanding as she spoke up and startled me. “At least let Rarity and I go with you! I can try talking to them. If that doesn’t work, they’re afraid of Rarity, and she can at least whine at them until they leave if they won’t listen to me.”  “But what if they don’t? What if they try to make us work for them again? Rarity has The Carousel Boutique to take care of and Sweetie Belle, plus she hates getting dirty. You have your animals, and I know how much you worry about them when you’re away. You’re my friends, I can’t put you in danger like that! Especially if it ends up being something little that I can fix myself.”  Pinkie’s lips trembled as she spoke, clenching her hands to her chest as the color continued to fade from her.  “Your family could be in danger, that’s not something little!” Fluttershy’s wings fully spread out as she stood up. Her eyebrows knitted into a deep frown. “Of course I worry about my animals, but I worry about my friends just as much!” she took deep breaths as her voice shook, tears welling up at the corners of her eyes. “When Spike told us they took Rarity, I don’t think I’ve been that afraid for somepony else in my life. I don’t want to feel that again. Please, Pinkie. Let me help you.”  While her voice still had a gentleness to it, it surprised me as much as Pinkie. I think it even scared her a bit. Pinkie recoiled when Fluttershy stood up, flinching as she lowered her head. Her mane had become straight enough to cover some of her face, leaving only her mouth visible, which she was biting.  “You’re right. I’m sorry.”  My heart dropped at how meek Pinkie’s voice had become. If she hadn’t been sitting in front of me, I wouldn’t have believed it was hers. I gripped the ends of the chair, gritting my teeth as I tried to come up with something, anything to say.  I wanted to make Pinkie feel better, but I didn't know how. Not only that, but I hated seeing Fluttershy so distressed, I didn’t know how to help her either. However, I was terrified to ask the wrong question or say the wrong thing and make everything worse. Didn't help that I was already exhausted after today, but that’s no excuse.  I’ve been useless so many times, yet I’ll never get used to it or hate it any less.  “No... I’m sorry.” Fluttershy closed her eyes and sat back down as her wings relaxed, trying to recede behind her hair like a turtle into its shell. “I shouldn’t have raised my voice. You’re just afraid for your family and don’t want to put your friends in danger either. I’d probably do the same thing if my parents were in danger. Though, maybe not for Zephyr.” Fluttershy glanced outside the window, yawning when she saw how dark it was. “We’re both tired, and probably at least a little cranky. If it’s ok with you, how about we call it a night? In the morning, we’ll go ask the others if they’ll come help your family with us. Ok?”  Pinkie kept her gloomy gaze glued on her hands, twiddling her thumbs and pursing her lips. She opened and closed her mouth a handful of times, wanting to say something but then shaking her head as she decided against it.  ‘Ok.”  She didn’t say another word as she stood up and began walking towards the door. Fluttershy cleared her throat right as she reached it. “Pinkie? Can you Pinkie Promise me you won’t get on the train without me?”  Pinkie stood still in the door, arms tightly at her side, almost afraid to turn around. Then, she hesitantly faced Fluttershy and gave a smile so small I almost didn’t notice it.  “I cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” she made corresponding gestures as she spoke, marking an x on her chest and then pressing her hand against her eye. I couldn't tell if she’s faking it for Fluttershy, or if the motions actually made her feel better, but Pinkie gained some of her color back. I think some of her straight bangs had even curled upward as she left.  Admittedly, a small wave of relief hit me when the door shut behind her. While glad that I didn’t have to deal with trying to come up with the right thing to say, it was just as quickly replaced with a creeping dread. Knowing me, when I least expect it, I’ll be flooded with ideas for what I could have done or said. At least I’m good at ruminating. Have plenty of practice. “Poor thing. I haven’t seen her that upset since she thought we didn’t want to be friends with her anymore.” Fluttershy stared at the door as she spoke, like she expected Pinkie to come back through at any moment. I glanced around the room as I searched for a certain snow-white bunny, but he’s nowhere to be seen. I’m sure he’s somewhere eating a carrot or taking a nap. Oh well, I guess I have spoiled him enough for today.  “Are you sure she won’t just get on a train without you? I don’t think I could wait an entire night if I was in her position.”  She responded with a warm smile, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “She won’t. Nopony breaks a Pinkie Promise. Especially not Pinkie.”  “Is she going to be ok?”  Her smile dropped as soon as I asked that. She glanced to the side, tilting her head and pausing. “I hope so. Pinkie doesn’t talk about them a lot, but she really cares about her family. I don’t know what she’d do if anything happened to them.”  I brought my hand to my pendant, making the mistake of letting my tired eyes rest for just a moment. The image of that day came to mind in vivid detail; the day Asriel and I shared a body and became one of the most powerful beings possible. Carrying my own dead body to the hellish village I was raised in, just to be attacked by residents there because they believed Asriel had killed me. I could feel every arrow, every spear, every stab pierce my body as if it were my own. Which, in a way, it was.  Then, I reexperienced death as Asriel shattered to dust, spreading over the bed of flowers I cared so much in front of the parents who offered me my first home. Just to come back and watch history repeat, again and again and again.  “Nothing will.” I whispered as I opened my eyes. “Not with our help.”  “Our?” Fluttershy turned to me and furrowed her eyebrows. “Chara, you’re staying here. I’d rather you be with the animals. I don’t want to put you in any danger.”  “It won’t be dangerous with you and Pinkie around; Especially if the others end up coming along. Besides, I’d feel a lot safer with you than staying here...”  “I don’t know if the others are coming or not. But, even if they are, these Diamond Dogs aren’t like the Timberwolves. If they want to hurt you, it’ll be a lot more than a scratch or a bite. They could easily break pony bones, I don’t even want to think of what they would do to you.”  A picture formed in my mind of what Diamond Dogs look like, and I coulen'5 say I liked it. The tingling sensation in my spine spread to the rest of my body as I shivered, trying to cover it by standing up and stretching.  “If I stay near you, I’ll be fine. Besides, didn’t you say that being around you is as safe as I can be since you’re an element of harmony? You won’t have to worry about me. And I…” my cheeks got uncomfortably warm as I fidgeted. I peered away from Fluttershy as I awkwardly rubbed my shoulder. “Wouldn’t have to worry about you while you’re gone.”  “Chara, I’d only be gone for two days at most. Maybe less. I know you enjoy spending time with the animals; Angel would certainly miss you spoiling him the way you do, though I'm sure he wouldn’t mind being in charge while I’m gone. It’s not very nice out there either. I don’t think coming along would be a good idea. Are you sure you want to?”  I took a deep breath, the last bits of energy sapping from me the longer I stayed awake. I had to go. Not just because I can barely last a handful of hours away from Fluttershy, but also because Pinkie needed help. If there’s even a slight chance the Diamond Dogs were dangerous and will hurt them, then I have to be there to help them in any way I could. Not to mention the waiting would kill me if the separation anxiety didn't do it first.  “I am. I’m not ready to be away from you for that long. Plus,” I tried to come up with something to say. I didn’t want to lie to her, she’d see right through it. My chest tightened as I could feel my pulse race. The best thing I could do is say whatever comes to mind.  “I’d miss you.” My ears burned and my rosy cheeks were likely indistinguishable from the rest of my bright red face. I wanted to leap onto the couch and bury my head in it until I passed out, but I couldn’t bring myself to move an inch. Even my knees were shaking and felt like the bones were replaced with jelly again. I’m not even sure why it made me so flustered to say that.  Fluttershy’s eyes widened as she raised her head, blinking rapidly as her wings fluttered. A slight blush appeared on her face as she gasped, her eyes darting back and forth nervously.  “I’d miss you too.” My heart actually stopped, my grip on the necklace so tight I was almost afraid it would rip off the chain. Her voice was so meek that I wouldn’t have heard it if I wasn’t standing right behind her in a quiet room. I nearly didn’t recognize the sensation filling my chest. So potent I struggled to resist the oncoming smile.  It's joy. Hearing Fluttershy saying she would miss me made me feel undeniable joy.  “...ok.” Fluttershy whispered after sharply inhaling. “But, you listen to what I say when I say it! You stay near me or Pinkie. If something goes wrong, you run. We can handle whatever happens, but I don’t want to see you hurt like that again.”  “I’m not sure that I could be away from you even if I wanted to.” I traced my finger around the symbol on my pendant. Failing horribly at getting my erratic breathing under control. “I’ll listen to everything you say. As long as you let me go with you.”  “Then I won’t keep you up any longer. Get some rest. I want to hear all about your new boyfriend on the way to the train station tomorrow.”  “He’s not my...I don’t know if we’re even really together or not.”  “Goodnight, Chara.” Fluttershy said with a giggle as she walked up the stairs, waving at me with her wing.  I sighed as I turned off the lamp, collapsing on the couch and digging my head into the pillows. The fatigue hit me hard, unable to hold my eyes open for even a second longer.  For once, in recent memory, I didn’t have any issues falling asleep. _____ I thought that with how tired I was, I'd be asleep for a while. However, ironically enough, I woke up earlier than usual. That typically happened when I’ve had a lot of water before falling asleep, but not this time. I actually felt somewhat well rested, which wasn't something I’ve experienced often.  I got my spare set of clothes from my backpack. Since I have no idea what it's like where Pinkie’s family was, I might as well take a bath while I still can. Should probably pick up some other stuff on the way to the train station too: I ran out of those butterscotch drops pretty quickly, and only had one bottle of water left that I keep for emergencies. A few more bottles were a must, but should I get anything else? Maybe a cupcake or something since we’ll have to go to Sugarcube Corner, anyway.  As I walked up the stairs towards the bathroom, I noticed Angel through the window. He stood on a tree stump in the backyard, rapidly chittering something to a crowd of various animals. Whatever he’s saying must be pretty important, judging from how intently most of them are listening. Except for Harry, who gave it little more than a roll of his eyes.  After a relaxing shower, it didn’t take long for Fluttershy to get ready. She came down with a satchel on her side, dark blue with her cutie mark on it. Not saying much about it other than that she’s hoping we won’t need anything that she put into it.  Before we left, I gave Angel the tightest hug I could. As I pressed his pleasantly soft fur against my chest, he said something to me. I don’t know what it was, but just the sincere tone made my heart flutter.  I’m going to miss pampering him like the adorably spoiled bundle of fluff he is.    When Fluttershy said she wanted me to tell her about Dark Moon, I didn’t think she was serious. Or maybe some part of me just wanted her to be joking. I did a poor job of hiding my nervousness when she asked how the date went, especially when I got a little ranty. I ended up spilling pretty much everything I knew about him and the date, despite her only asking a handful of questions.  I couldn’t tell if some part of me secretly wanted to talk about it, or I just disliked the awkward silence that much.  At least Fluttershy’s a good listener. She kept a content smile and occasionally nodded. If she disapproved of him or anything that I told her about the date, she didn’t show it.  Pinkie looked noticeably better. Her mane wasn’t as vibrant as usual, but she didn’t give off the same disheartening aura either. She mentioned she asked the others to be at the train station if they wanted to help, so there wasn’t a reason to wait any longer. Other than being surprised and somewhat hesitant that I’m coming along, she didn’t say much else.  I asked if I could have something from Sugarcube Corner before we left. Pinkie said I should take something that I could put in my backpack, like one of the chocolate bars they keep in the kitchen for baking. As tempting as that was, a batch of caramel cupcakes on the counter were just as appealing. I put one in my ‘inventory’, double-checking by selecting it through the menu and pulling it out to make sure it would be fine.  Once I saw that it was, and that my backpack didn’t have frosting stains on the inside, we made our way to the train station.  Unsurprisingly, Twilight and the rest were waiting for us. While I didn't know all of them particularly well, I can’t say I had any doubt they’d all want to help. After Pinkie’s voice began to break, they had a group hug that some part of me wanted to join in on, but couldn’t for a number of reasons.  Now, we’re on the train itself. I’ve never been on one before, but it’s what I pictured from the books I’ve read; Big and loud. At least the part of the train we’re in was fairly empty. Other than us, there’s only two other ponies, staying in the corner and not giving us more than a glance. We sat on the right side, with Fluttershy and I sitting on a seat together and Twilight on the one across from us. Pinkie, Rarity, Rainbow, and Applejack sat in the section in front of us.  When they sat down, the first thing they did was try their best to cheer her up. Rarity bragged about how she tamed the Diamond Dogs, while Rainbow and AJ talked about how they wouldn’t have any problems dealing with them if things went wrong. Pinkie gave them the best smile she could muster, but something about it didn’t convince me. Still much brighter than last night, her color had a gray hue to it that wouldn’t fade.  She saw through my fake smiles with ease. Maybe that makes me one of the few who can see through hers?   “Should I have gone over the checklist with him again? He said he’d be ok, but I don’t know if he’s ready for that much responsibility.”  Twilight’s voice is so low that I barely made out. Which, judging from how she keeps shifting her position in her seat and rapidly reading and re-reading a list she’s holding, she’s probably just saying what she’s thinking without meaning to.  “I’m sure Spike’s going to be just fine, Twilight. He’s very smart for his age, he won’t have any problems running a library that doesn’t get many visitors. We shouldn’t be gone longer than two days at most.”  Fluttershy said as I peered out the window, watching the landscape change as we moved. It’s strangely peaceful, just staring outside while sitting in a giant machine going faster than I ever thought possible. “Yeah, you’re probably right.” Twilight responded as she sighed, placing the list in the same satchel she had when I first met her. “I should be more worried about Owlowiscious. He tends to get in trouble if he’s not attended to.” “Who’s Owlowiscious?” I asked as I turned to Twilight. The name didn’t ring any bells, which I found odd since Golden Oaks was, without a doubt, the second place where I spend most of my time.  “My pet owl. I’m not surprised you haven’t met him since he’s nocturnal. He’s incredibly smart, if a little mischievous.” she reached into her satchel, pulling out a picture of an owl perched in the library while reading something. “Since he’s nocturnal, he works as my nighttime assistant, so Spike gets a break. He’s particularly into mystery, though I’m not sure what he does when he’s not in the library.”  “I’ve seen him around the cottage a couple of times.” Fluttershy mentioned. “Usually socializing with other birds. He and Angel have talked; They’re friends.” she paused, glancing downward and pursing her lips. “I think.”  Fluttershy dismissively shook her head and stood up, wings briefly extending to the sides as she stretched. “It should only be a few more minutes until we’re there, so I’m going to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”  The idea of being left alone with Twilight made me a little anxious, but much less than it would be for anyone else. I turned my gaze to outside the window again as I heard Fluttershy walk to the back of the cart we’re in. This time, I noticed that the landscape became more barren as we traveled; few trees or plants of any kind, along with more clouds in the sky so there’s less sunlight.  It replaced that miniscule sense of peace with an eerie dread that grew the closer we got. I tried my best to ignore it, but I couldn’t shake the feeling in the back of my mind that something bad is going to happen. “I didn’t think Fluttershy would bring you along. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you came. I just…” she awkwardly placed the photo back in her satchel. “Thought you would have wanted to stay with the animals, where it’s safe.”  “You’re right, I did. It would have been easy to listen to her and stay back in that cottage. It was hard to convince her to let me come with you guys.” I took a deep breath as I pried my eyes away from the window, unable to handle the sinking feeling in my stomach that got worse the longer I looked out it. “As nice as it would be to sit in that cottage and spoil Angel all day, the waiting would kill me. I was also there when Pinkie asked Fluttershy for help. Seeing her like that…” I frowned as I glanced to the side, resting my hands on my thighs and gripping them tightly. “I want to help however I can.”  Twilight’s head dropped as she closed the satchel, biting her lip and solemnly grimaced. “I know what you mean. I took as many books with me as I can on Diamond Dogs, but there’s barely any at all. While I appreciate a second chance to make peace between them and ponies, I can’t say I’m pleased by the circumstances it’s happening under.”  We sat in silence for half a minute, aside from the four others talking about something, anyway. I genuinely couldn’t think of anything to say, but Twilight’s entire body was tense and she kept opening and closing her mouth as if she wanted to say something, but couldn’t bring herself to.  “Chara,” after her eyes met mine, I couldn’t help but look away. Eye contact has always been hard for me, somehow even worse now. “I’m going to ask you something, and I need you to be honest with me.”  She put heavy emphasis on ‘honest’, and something about it unnerved me. I held the pendant in my hand, but it failed to quell the rapid thoughts racing through my mind. “Okay.”   Twilight closed her eyes, her chest rising and falling, followed by heavy exhaling. “After what happened with your magic attunement, I got curious and kept a sample of the black…” she paused, fidgeting uncomfortably. “Goo. I hypothesized that if it came out during your surge, then it could help me understand why your magic overpowered that symbol. Or, if I was lucky, what that wrong feeling magic was. After analyzing it, I found it wasn’t actually magical at all.”  I found myself hanging on every word, the ends of the pendant stabbing into my hand as it shook and got tighter. It’s almost like when I would get near the ending of one of the horror books, anticipation wracking me as I got closer to the conclusion. Except this time, it’s riddled with terror so intense I can’t help but hold my breath.  “It was flower residue. Ranunculus Buttercup, to be specific.”  I’m certain my heart actually jumped up into my throat, which would explain why the booming drum of my own heartbeat was nearly the only thing I can hear. Some part of me always suspected that’s what it was. All those times it happened when I was a ghost, and when it happened at the library, I tried my best not to think about it. It never happened when I was alive, and it’s undeniably similar to when I died the first time.  Hearing it said so blatantly is like remembering something I didn’t forget in the first place. Yet, for whatever reason, I’m a little relieved to hear it.  “Buttercups are toxic in large amounts. Otherwise, they aren’t any different from other flowers. I assume it would take less to kill a human. Do you have any idea why you...leak flower residue when you use your magic?”  I wanted to tell her the truth, but I knew I couldn’t. There’s nothing I could say that would explain it and not sound as made up as it would be. Telling her why would be worse, especially since I didn't entirely understand why myself.  “I…” the intense way Twilight watched me as she waited for an answer struck me with sheer guilt, paired with shame as I knew that as much as I hated it, I had to lie. “No idea. I still can’t remember anything. Maybe it’s a human thing?”  I shamefully broke eye contact with Twilight, crossing my arms and hoping I would spontaneously gain the ability to turn invisible.  I did not.  “Right.” Twilight said with a sigh, saying something under her breath I couldn’t make out. “Chara, we really should talk about your-”  She got cut off by the sound of the door opening and closing, Fluttershy coming back as she sat down beside me. I glanced at Twilight, who was trying to look anywhere but towards me.  “Chara, are you ok? You look pale.” Fluttershy asked as she leaned forward, briefly placing her hand against my forehead. “You don’t feel hot, which is good. Right now would be a terrible time to get sick.” “I’m fine.” my voice cracked as I recoiled. “Just...my stomach isn’t doing so well. I think I might have motion sickness.”  It’s fortunate that Fluttershy kept books about animals and the various ways they could get sick, motion sickness being one of them. I understand its symptoms well enough, but I have no way of knowing if humans can even have it. Then again, neither does Fluttershy.  I brought my knees to my chest and did my best to recede into myself, doing a poor job of hiding my guilt. Fluttershy’s stare pierced into me, but didn’t last long as I heard her inhale and rest one of her wings on me.  “That’s ok, it’ll pass soon.”  While it helped calm me down, her soothing tone and gentle touch just weren't as effective as they’d usually be. The rest of the ride was short, but done in overwhelmingly awkward silence. Whatever conversation the others were having was cut short as the train slowed down, coming to a screeching stop. We got off the train and joined up with the rest of the group, but I couldn’t shake the queasiness that made it hard to talk. I clung to Fluttershy’s side, keeping my head down and listening to their conversations as we walked.  The first thing I noticed is how silent it is. I’ve spent a lot of my time alive, both in this life and the last, in areas thriving with wildlife. I typically just tune them out, but in Ponyville I could sit down basically wherever and just listen. Not here. There’s no chirping of birds or the sound of twigs breaking as smaller animals run around. It would have been totally silent if it hadn’t been for them talking.  That ended too when we got to the farm, which lacked almost any kind of life. There are trees near the edge, but their color was so faded it's barely even green. The farm itself was somehow even more lifeless: A stone building that I assume was the house, a large windmill standing beside a gray silo, and all of it surrounded by a fence that clearly hasn't been maintained. It looks to have completely collapsed in some places.  The only other thing is rocks, hundreds of them. They litter the barren ground in various sizes, some of them even larger than my head. I know Pinkie mentioned earlier that her family lived on a rock farm, but what I pictured didn’t come close. Seeing it in person was somewhat surreal, but also makes me realize the ground here was undoubtedly too infertile to grow anything else.  I almost couldn’t believe that Pinkie, without a doubt the most upbeat individual I know, grew up somewhere so overbearingly...depressing. It made me even more apprehensive to meet her family. Then again, after seeing how she was just the night prior, maybe it wasn't that unbelievable.  It really makes me wonder what could even happen somewhere as boring as this.