Fluttershy sighed contently into the soft fur that coiled around her, holding her close in a way that nopony else ever had and nopony else ever could. Her dearest friend was special like that. He had a way of unconventionality that always surprised her, whether physically or emotionally, there was never a dull moment.
She felt a claw wrap smoothly around her back, just below her wings, and another slide below her chin, lifting her half-lidded eyes up to meet his. Discord careened his face down to get a closer look at her, a gentle smile curling at his lips before he tenderly pressed his muzzle into her jawline. With a claw now cupping her cheek, he coaxed her to further lean into his touch, giving him better access to her throat and neck.
Fluttershy could only hum in bliss as she felt him further explore her most vulnerable place and Discord wasted no time. He was breathing heavily into her mane, soaking in every bit of her natural, rosy aroma and Fluttershy shivered dangerously when she felt his fang delicately slide against her skin.
Fluttershy awoke with a jolt to the sound of spring robins tapping at her bedroom window. These dreams of hers… these silly filly-like fantasies, had been happening more and more frequently as a late. However, the warm afterglow that they left her with in the morning never stayed long before a certain sadness began to creep in and take its place without fail.
Her realized feelings for her dearest, best friend had been very startling for her. It had first begun in small little waves. She had found herself looking forward to their Tuesday tea dates a little more so than she always had. She noticed herself feeling extra nervous and a bit tingly whenever Discord would touch her for whatever reason. A paw on her shoulder, a goodbye or hello hug, an accidental brush in passing, it didn’t matter. But this new anxiety hadn’t manifested out of fear she’d concluded, it was out of longing.
Discord was an all-powerful, spirit of pure chaotic magic and energy, and yet he made visiting her on a weekly basis a priority. Here he often sat across from her in her humble cottage, drinking tea, asking her about her day.... making her feel important. She truly appreciated that to no end. Despite all their ups and downs, he made her feel wanted, like she had a voice, like she was more than just a pony who hardly fit in with her own kind; more than just one of the six elements.
Perhaps that's what brought about her feelings? Although these physical attractions that had been inhabiting her dreams were yet another surprise that she truly hadn't expected. She had always thought he was handsome in an unconventional way, but the level of physical attractiveness she was feeling all so suddenly was a little jarring.
However, deep in her heart she wasn't complaining, especially when he’d refer to her as “dear” or anyone of the endearing pet names he’d gifted to her, but.... that's when the sadness began to set in. These feelings so warm and so loving were quickly squashed by an onslaught of other intrusive thoughts...
Does he feel similar about me? Could he ever even? What could become of our friendship if I ever were to tell him?
All these questions rattled her heart, but a few more daunting had done the trick to nearly shatter it....
Why would he feel the same for me? What could I ever offer him that would even tempt the idea?
She was such a simple pony. She hardly really fussed over her appearance. Rarity would be a far fitting candidate there and any of the princesses could match that beauty as well as Discord's power, and Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash were certainly the more fun and energetic types.
For so long she had been content with her lacking talents and natural gifts, but now... now it all just seemed so apparent. It was for these reasons she'd vowed early on to never let Discord or anypony else know what was really on her heart. Aside from the embarrassment that would ensue, she truly didn't think she could handle the potential, and likely, heart break of it all.
"Just stay quiet, and your chances of getting hurt may be smaller" was a saddening, but effective mantra she'd sung for the better part of her life, but she was far from prepared for the kind of pain that her tried and true song would cause her in this particular situation.
Day in and day out for the past month, since her fanciful dreams had begun, it felt like she was breaking her own heart in the slowest most agonizing way possible. It would ease during her and Discord's weekly time together and return shortly after he'd leave. How she wished he'd stay. She'd gladly have him at all times of the day, week, month, year, and forever on after. She wanted that so badly, but the assumption that it would never be, kept her crushed for the remainder of the week. She could keep a decent poker face for her friends, but the animals she cared for were quick to notice.
Her joyful, spring stepped canters had all but devolved into heavy, slow paces as she went about her day and duties. Her smiles seemed forced, and her bright teal eyes were steadily taking on a rather grey hue. She was in all senses of the word, hopelessly lovesick.
It was Angel Bunny who finally pointed out just how much damage she was inflicting on herself. She tried desperately to assure him that she was fine, but last night's dream was especially ... consuming.
Angel hopped alongside her as she tended the garden, squeaking his concerns in his own little language. "Angel, please,” she protested. “I promise you I'm more than fine... I just have a lot on my mind, but I'll get past it. I just need to- " Angel squealed and yanked her tail back, just as she was about to walk straight into her berry bushes, their thorns grown wild, long, and sharp without maintenance.
With a shaking sigh, she stepped back and looked at Angel, worry painted all other his sweet face for his caretaker. She realized then that while engulfed in her own aching sadness, she was beginning to hurt the other things that mattered most to her.
"I'm so sorry, Angel. You’re right", she whispered and scooped him close to her chest. "I'll get help, I promise."