Hmm, maybe this one.
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No, this one looks too small.
Maybe the one next to it.
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No, this one is too expensive.
Hmm, maybe that one over there.
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Yikes.
N-No, not this one either. Upon closer inspection it just looks…weird.
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Huh?
Spike? What are you doing here? And why are you carrying the camera?
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You want me to make an episode of Twilight Tries out of this?
Spike, I hardly think this would make for a very interesting episode of my vlog.
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Yes, I know I haven’t done an episode in a while but –
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Come on, Spike, we both know the reason isn’t because it’s been a while since I did an episode. I’ve had longer gaps between episodes than this.
Look, just be honest and tell me what your real reason for wanting to record this is. I promise I won’t laugh or be judgmental in any way.
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Ah, so that’s it.
Well I guess I can see why you think that that would make this a good episode.
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Yes, yes, we’ll do it. Keep your scales on.
Ahem.
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Hi, everypony, and welcome to another episode of Twilight Tries!
So today’s episode is kind of an impromptu one, because frankly when I decided to do this I didn’t consider it to be very noteworthy, let alone vlogworthy. But the argument Spike made for why this might be a good episode was pretty convincing, so here we are.
And where is here exactly? Well, this is the Ponyville Wagon Emporium, and today I’m here to try to…find Trixie a new wagon!
So why am I trying to find Trixie a new wagon, you may ask? Well it’s simple; it’s because she needs to move out of my castle already!
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Yes I know I said that very strongly, Spike, but I just really feel it’s time for Trixie to move out of the castle. She’s been staying with us for a long time now and I think it’s starting to wear on her a bit. I mean, have you noticed how she just loafs around the castle most days reading comic books and watching cat videos? I’m getting worried that not being on the road with her magic show is starting to make her feel depressed.
That, and I'm just a teeny-tiny bit worried that if she stays here much longer she's going to end up destroying the castle inadvertently.
Between the ghostbusting and tankery incidents she's already come pretty close to that.
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*SIGH*
I get that you like the cocoa Trixie makes for us sometimes, Spike, but it’s time for her to leave. For her own sake.
And the castle’s too.
Oh, and before you ask why I have to be one to buy her a new wagon, it’s because I know Trixie doesn’t have the bits to buy one herself. Every now and then she randomly brings up how she doesn’t have much money these days and that that’s why she can’t afford to pay me any rent.
Which I don’t get because I’ve never once asked her to pay any rent.
Anywhoo, everypony, that’s why I’m here at the Ponyville Wagon Emporium today. I’m trying to find Trixie a new wagon, and also trying to keep my sanity in the process. Because as I’m quickly learning, wagon-shopping is an absolute nightmare. I mean, I’ve been here for half an hour now and I haven’t found a single wagon that looks like it might be a suitable replacement for Trixie’s old one.
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I know, Spike. I thought that a wagon was just a wagon too, but apparently things like how many harnesses it has and what type of wood the wheels are made of make a real difference.
At least as far as the price is concerned.
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Good thinking, Spike. Let’s see if we can find a salespony who might be able to help us.
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Ah, there’s one.
Excuse me, ma’am! We’re looking for a wagon and –
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Oh, um, I already looked at that one and unfortunately the price is over my budget.
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Y-Yes I’m sure the western red cedar is well worth the cost, but I’m just not willing to spend that many bits on –
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Um, no, I’m not interested in that one either.
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No it’s not an issue of how much ponypower it has. It’s an issue of size.
What even is ponypower?
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*SIGH*
No, I don’t want this one eith - wait. Did you say that this model is called the…Thundercougarfalconbird?
That’s a very strange name for a wagon.
Well regardless, I’m not interested in this one either. It’s a little too…outlandish.
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W-What?! How would not having this wagon make ponies question my sexual orientation?! That doesn’t make any sense!
Okay, you know what, I’ll just take that light purple one over there.
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Yes I’m sure I don’t want the Thundercougarfalconbird! Just…the light purple one, please.
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All right, I’ll be up to sign the paperwork shortly.
Thank you.
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Yeesh. That was unpleasant.
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You said it, Spike. That is the last time we ask a salespony for help when we go wagon-shopping.
Not that I ever see us needing to go wagon-shopping again, but still.
Welp, I better go sign the paperwork so we can get out of here.
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Okay, so how many papers do I need to –
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Oh for-
No, I don’t need any undercoating!
Well that was a lot more hectic and frustrating than I thought it would be.
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Don’t blame yourself for that, Spike. You didn’t know how pushy the salespony was going to be when you suggested we find one.
Besides, it wasn’t just the salespony that made that whole thing so exasperating. It was the fact that there was so much difficulty in just trying to find a wagon that was similar to the one Trixie used to have.
Seriously, how in Equestria are there so many different makes and models of wagons out there?
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I admit I chose this one primarily to get away from that crazy salespony, yes. But I also chose it because it did seem to be at least a bit similar to Trixie’s old wagon.
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Well I mean the general shape and size seems similar enough. And in the end that’s what matters most, right?
R-Right?
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Phew.
We’re finally home.
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Okay, okay, Spike. You can go get Trixie and bring her outside to see the new wagon. I’ll wait out here.
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Oh, yeah. I’ll take the camera so I can capture her reaction.
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All right, ready. Go get Trixie.
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This wagon is fine, I know it is. I mean, even if it’s not completely similar to Trixie’s old one it still looks like a very serviceable wagon.
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Oh, here she comes.
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SURPRISE, TRIXIE!
Spike and I went out and got you a new wagon to replace the one you lost! Now you can go back to doing magic shows all over Equestria!
And move out of my castle.
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Um, Trixie? Are you okay? You don’t seem very excited or happy right now.
Is it because of the wagon we got? I swear, we really tried to get you one that was similar to your old wagon, but there were just so many different kinds at the Emporium that we –
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What?
No, no, no! This doesn’t mean that I’m kicking you out of the castle!
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Oh dear, she’s starting to cry. And I don’t think those are tears of joy.
P-Please don’t cry, Trixie. I didn’t mean to imply that I don’t enjoy having you as a castlemate. That’s not how I feel at all.
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Y-Yeah, of course I mean it. Having you around here has made things, um…more interesting.
I just thought that, you know, you were getting a little depressed hanging around the castle all the time instead of being on the road with your magic act. So I thought I’d help you out by getting you a new wagon so that you can go back to doing what you love.
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Oof.
Okay then, we’re…hugging now.
Y-You’re welcome…Trixie. Now can you please…let go of me so that I can…breathe?
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*HEAVY BREATHING*
Thank…you.
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Well I’m glad you like your new wagon, Trixie. And we’ll certainly miss you too. But you know, you can stay with us whenever you find yourself back in Ponyville.
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Oof.
More…hugging.
Um, Trixie, I enjoy hugs as much as the next pony… but can you maybe work on not hugging so…tightly?
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*HEAVY BREATHING*
Thank…you.
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You don’t have to get going right this minute, Trixie. But if you want to start packing your things up Spike and I can help you if you’d like.
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Okay, we’ll be right behind you.
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Well, Spike, Trixie didn’t get super excited like you thought she would, but I still think this turned out to be a good episode regardless. And I guess this is as good a place as any to end it.
So as always, thanks for watching, everypony, and I’ll see you next time on Twilight Tries!
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Hey, I was not lying when I said those things, Spike. When I told Trixie that I was concerned about her getting a little depressed I meant it. And I meant it when I said that having her around made things more interesting too.
I just didn’t specify whether that was a good thing or a bad thing.
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*SIGH*
Yes, Spike, I meant that too.
As hard as it is for me to admit, I will miss having Trixie around.
Probably.