//------------------------------// // Son, what are the "Elements of harmony"? // Story: Son, what's a conversion bureau? // by aegishailstorm //------------------------------// Son hit the ground with a groan, Father landed on his feet. "Common!" He grabbed Son by the shirt collar and pulled him up. They turned and charged off towards the California border, after about 20 minutes of running, they made it to the freeway, which they found empty. "Dad, I'm tired!" "NO YOU'RE NOT, KEEP WALKING THAT HERESY ISIN'T GOING TO GO AWAY ON ITS OWN!!!" "Ugh, Fine!" He dragged himself behind Father. They continued walking through the desert towards the Sierra Nevada mountain range. About 20ish minutes later... They had just entered the mountains and gazed up at the barrier. Even for them, it was pretty impressive. "Dad, please tell me we're not going in there!" Father shifted his gaze back at Son with disappointment. He turned back and continued walking forward. Just then, they heard a voice call out from above them. "Hey there humans!I couldn't hep but notice you were headed towards Equestria!"Father looked up at the pegasus and flipped it off. "Have some of this before you had on in!" The pegasus tossed down a vial of ponification serum. Father caught it in his hands, took one look at it, and crushed it. "Are you sure about that? Humans and magic don't exactly mix we-" Father took aim with his shotgun and pulled the trigger. Unfortunately, the pegasus flew out of the way and headed straight for the barrier, and safety, or so he thought. "After him!!!" Father and Son chased the pegasus for about half a mile, and Son began to notice something strange. "Father, I feel strange..." "It's probably those peanut things you ate earlier!" The pegasus stopped just at the edge of the barrier. "Have fun melting!" The pegasus shouted in a disturbingly happy tone, before turning and diving into the barrier, Father and Son stopped at its base. "Well now what do we do!?" Son cried out. "FOLLOW HIM!!!" "But-" NO BUTS!!!" Father grabbed Son, and shoved his hand into the barrier. "OWWWW!!!" Son pulled his charred hand away. "HERE, LET ME SHOW YOU HOW!!!", Father stepped forward into the barrier, his foot made a crackling noise, he just shrugged and walked through it. Son could hear a distant "AHHHHHH!!!" Coming from Father. Meanwhile on the other side of the barrier... Father stepped out onto the green grass on the other side, and looked around. "Smells like Barbeque!" He looked down to see that he was smoldering. "Ohh..." He looked back to see Son emerging from the other side. On fire. "AHAHAHAHAHHA!!!HELP!!!" Son dropped to the ground and began to frantically roll around. "GET UP!" Father grabbed Son and pulled him off the ground still smoldering. they both turned to look at the beautiful scene in front of them. An enormous lush meadow sat sprawled out in front of them, and beyond that a forest. "You got to give it to them, this is pretty nice." Father looked back over at Son and backhanded him over the helmet. "What was that for!?" "YOU'RE RIGHT, IT IS BEAUTIFUL!!!LETS BURN IT!!!" Just then that same pegasus that had taunted them earlier came flying over. He stopped in mid flight, and stared at the smoking forms of Father and Son, dumbfounded. "B-But how!? Celestia told us that humans couldn't survive here!" Without saying another word, Father raised his shotgun to the sky, took aim, and pulled the trigger. This time, the pegasus wasn't quite fast enough. Father scoffed at it, and the 2 of them continued walking towards... Where again? Father and Son sped through the forest, clambering over boulders and jumping over tree logs, crossing meadows and rivers until finally, at last, Mount Caterhorn came into sight. "Uh, Father? You see that mountain in the distance?" "YES!?What about it?" "Well, when those ponies turned me into one of them, I had visions of that place... I think it's their capital." "Well then... CHARGE!!!"The 2 of them sprinted off toward the base of the mountain. They eventually made it to the base of the mountain. "Father, How do we get up there?" They looked over to see a road leading up to the top. "Ohhh..."Father saw it as well. "HELL NO, WE'RE CLIMBING!!!" All of this commotion did not go unnoticed. Drawing a crowd of newfoals, equestrian natives, and Royal Guard. "HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN-" The Guards looked on at the 2 crusaders' with confusion. "BUT-" They where cut off when father drew his sword and charged at them. Hacking the 2 dozen unfortunate ponies to pieces within the span of 50 seconds. Father dusted his hands off. "WELL, LETS GO!!!"Father grabbed hold onto the cliff face, and began to scale it. Son tried to follow as best as he could. GRAHHHH!!! WERE ARE YOU SONS OF-" Father clawed his way over the edge of the cliff face. To find no guards whatsoever. "Huh, Those coward must've run off! Get up here son!" Son pulled himself up, and the 2 of them charged into the city. Meanwhile in the Royal castle. Princess Celestia had had a long day, dealing with newfoal delegates and mulling over the kingdoms problems, she was about ready to rest when a guardspony ran through the door. "Your Majesty, There's 2 humans outside the city walls, and they have weapons! What do we do?" Celestia's eyes widened. "Wait, did you say humans?" "Yes. Right outside the city. " "Gather the Guard, see what they want, and ask them how they're still alive." "Yes ma'am!" The pony gave a quick solute, and ran off. "Uh, Father, those ponies are walking toward us. What do we do?" Father growled at them, but let them approach. "Greetings, human, Celestia would like to see you." Father let the pony approach, until they where practically eye to eye. "Sir, Did you hear me-" The pony looked down at his chest to find a blade protruding from it. Fathers eyes flashed red, and he let out a roar of anger and blindly charged the army of ponies. Father crashed through the gates of Canterlot and began randomly killing ponies left and right, So much so that Son was able to leisurely stroll into the city behind him encountering almost no resistance whatsoever. All the while Celestia and Luna were watching from a balcony high above the city, witnessing the horror as Father mercilessly tore his way across Canterlot. She spotted one of her lieutenants flying towards her. Face dripped with blood and sweat. "Your Majesty, They're tearing our forces to pieces! What do we do!?!?! We tried everything, magic, crossbows, swords, even conversion serum, nothing's stopping them!" "Luna, contact Twilight and her friends." She turned back to the lieutenant, just in time to watch her explode in a shower of blood, fur, and, feathers. Followed by distant insane laughs and the sound of gunfire. All the while Father continued his attack, He finally made it to the gates of the royal castle. Completely ignoring them, he lept over the walls, and charged through the gardens. Son on his tail. "All forces fall back, protect the princesses!!!"Father heard this, and rushed over to the unicorn who had shouted it, grabbing him by the tail. "WHAT PRINCESSES!!?!?!?!" "I'll never tell you anything dumb ape!!"Fathers eyes flashed red, and the pony began to shiver in fear. "Alright, They're that way, please don't kill me!" Father tossed his body off to the side. "I HAVEN'T FELT THIS GOOD SINCE THE LAST GREAT CRUSADE!!!!" He charged into the castle. Tearing though the door way, he rushed down the hallways, tearing apart statues, and cutting down royal guardsponies wherever he found them. He turned a corner to find Son sitting on the ground, petting a pegasus. "So, your boss yells at you as well?" "Yes." "Wow, we're not as different as I thought." "SON, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" He raised his shotgun to the pegasus's head. "Wait, dad, he said he hates his job, can he come with us?" Father stared into the yellow pegasus's eyes. "Please sir, let me come with you, I hate my job anyway. They converted me with the promise that I'd be able to live worry free, instead they just made me guard this bucking palace." The pegasus pulled his helmet off. "Please dad?" "Alright, he can come with us, BUT GET IN MY WAY ONCE AND I WILL TEAR OFF YOU FUCKING WINGS, DO YOU UNDERSTAND!!!!??!" "Y- yes?" He scrambled to his hooves. "Name's Everfree by the wa-" He looked off to see the 2 crusaders charging off. "Wow, they sure have short attention spans. Eh, still better than my so called "Friends" in the guard." Father and Son continued deeper into the castle, until they came to the gates of the throne room. "You sure they're in there?" Asked Son. "I can smell the heresy from out here, I'm sure of it!" He kicked open the door, knocking aside the barricade that the remaining guards had set up. "HEY PRICCESSES COME TO FATHER YOU COWWARDS!!!" They found the remaining guards hiding behind a group of six colorful ponies, 2 pegasi, 2 unicorns, and 2 earth ponies all wearing some weird crown looking thing. Behind then sat the 2 princesses. "Welcome humans, we have been waiting for you, we still believe that you can be saved, we are giving you this opportunity to join us. Now Girls!" the six colorful ones lit up, Father raised his shotgun and pulled the trigger, only to find it clicking on empty. "That... thing cannot save you now." Father drew his sword and shield, and charged at them. He was met with a blast of rainbow colored light, he planted his feet firmly, and raised his shield, the blast hit it. "Son, Help!!!" No response came. "SON!!!!" Celestia watched on with mild amusement. "Silly human, you can't stop the magic of friendshi-" Just then, she felt something cold and hard press up against her muzzle. "EAT MY ENTIRE A-" Son pulled the trigger and a slug tore through the alicorns lower muzzle, causing her to drop to the floor in pain. "GOOD WORK SON!!! Now, for that thing I showed you. Father put his shield away, and both their hands began to glow bright orange, the main six stopped, and watched in wonder. "BURN IN HOLY FIRE HERITIC-" A massive explosion rocked the entire castle. 2 shadowy figures emerged from the burning ruins of the throne room. Father looked off into the distance. "You smell that son!?" "Uh, burnt flesh?" "NO, BREAD!!!" He pointed at Canterlot bakery in the distance. They drew their weapons', and charged off. For God, for humanity, FOR BREAD!!!