//------------------------------// // Love is a Battlefield // Story: “And then… APPLEJACK WILL BE ALL MINE!” // by Rune Soldier Dan //------------------------------// Rarity was a master at rallying soirees on short notice. It was actually part of her cutie mark – diamonds implied wealth, which made ponies want to be around you. Technically it was only a proper ‘soiree’ if everyone there was rich but no one had ever told that to Rarity. At least it felt like a soiree, with the tea and tiny sandwiches. Autumn and Sweetie Belle hauled up a banquet table for the main room of the Boutique, with enough chairs for everypony. Autumn had never had so many eyes on her at once. She swallowed her nerves and explained quickly, hoping to at least get it out before the angry mob formed to save Applejack. But the story ended, and they hadn’t moved. Every one of her romantic rivals remained seated, watching her with stone expressions or glancing to each other, munching quietly. Finally, it was cool, sturdy Bon-Bon who spoke up. “What’s your angle?” “Huh?” “Why are you telling us this?” Maybe she was stupid. “Because we need to rescue Applejack and I can’t do this on my own!” “Or you know she’ll be elsewhere and want to lure us all in the wrong direction so you can have her to yourself.” Bon-Bon folded her hooves, smirking. “You’re dealing with a secret agent, kirin. The most obvious answer is usually correct.” Strawberry Sunrise cut in. “Or she wants us gathered in one place so she can get us all with a giant net and steal Applejack away.” “What?” Autumn asked. “Who would do that?” They all looked at Rarity, who grinned with embarrassment. “It would have worked if Applejack had been home that day.” “But I’m not lying!” Autumn screeched. “Ah-HA!” Rainbow stomped a front hoof on the table and pointed the other. “That’s EXACTLY what a liar would say! Checkmate, Autumn!” A stuttering ‘wa-ha-ha’ claimed the table. “There’s no need to get angry, darlings.” Bon-Bon leaned back in her seat. “Aw, I’m not angry. Sorry if I came off that way.” “Yeah, no, it was a good idea.” Strawberry bobbed her head. “All’s fair in love and war. Honestly, Autumn, I’m impressed. I had you pegged for an innocent idiot and you came up with a pretty evil scheme. I’ll have to watch out for you.” “It’s not a scheme...” Autumn said, but it was no use. Her voice trailed off as the others resumed chatting, eating, laughing. She looked down. The merriment went on around her. Had to try. She spoke again, though it took a few minutes to say it loud enough to hear. “What can I do to make you trust me?” Silence. The assembled mares looked at each other, murmured, and shrugged. “Sorry, sugar-cube,” Cherry Jubilee drawled. “So long as you’re our rival, we can’t trust you with anything Applejack-related. T’ain’t personal, you know.” That seemed like the end of things. But it wasn’t. Not quite. Autumn saw the answer, plain as day. She thought of Applejack. Honest, kind, strong enough to crush watermelons between her thighs. Autumn thought that was hot. Don’t judge. Her love. The one. Enslaved, mindlessly farming for Chrysalis’ profit. And only one way to save her, to make them listen. Autumn spoke without thinking, feared that any hesitation would rob her courage to say it. “Fine!” It came out shrill, loud, once more seizing their attention. Her eyes burned, but she blinked and snuffed the embers. “Then I won’t compete for Applejack anymore. I won’t be a rival.” They gasped. Rarity fainted. “So believe me when I say we need to save her!” “Is this a trick?” Rara asked. “No,” Autumn replied with deathly absolution. She moved her hoof in familiar motions. “I will no longer compete with you all for Applejack’s love. Cross my heart, hope to fly...” “WAIT!” Rarity grabbed her limb, having recovered instantly from the faint. “Autumn, if you take this oath it will bind you forever! You’ll lose all chance of winning Applejack!” Autumn met eyes with her, and slowly pulled the hoof from her grasp. “...Stick a cupcake in my eye!” She used a metaphorical cupcake, because soirees did not have real ones. Silence fell, broken by Rainbow after a long moment. “Holy skit, she’s for real.” Rarity clasped her hooves, staring into the tablecloth. “It makes perfect sense, doesn’t it? Now that I think about it. If Chrysalis controls the apples… why, Canterlot is next! It will be the end of Equestria!” “Should we tell Princess Twilight?” Trenderhoof asked. Nobody listened. “Forget Canterlot!” Strawberry snarled. “I’m not losing Applejack to some jerkwad who will just use her to harvest gross, tasteless apples! Let’s show those changelings what happens when you steal my mare!” Others yelled their agreement. Cherry raised a pitchfork. Lyra lit a torch, which set off the smoke alarm. Rarity stomped her hoof on the table for order. “Quiet, quiet darlings! We need a plan. Lyra, put that out.” She turned off the alarm and waited until Lyra came back from the sink. “Everypony, it’s late. We’re not ready, and those of us who are gorgeous enough to be worthy of Applejack need our beauty sleep. Gather supplies as best you can, and tomorrow morning we shall take back Sweet Apple Acres!” Agreement was general, and enthusiastic. Ponies filed out, leaving only Autumn and Rarity. “Should we really wait til tomorrow?” Autumn asked. “That’s the day Chrysalis said she’d marry Applejack.” “Of course, darling!” Rarity tutted. “Why, just imagine! An evil wedding that will give the villain all which they dream and then, ‘I object!’ And the white unicorn charges forth, leading her allies to save her true love!” She seemed to catch something in Autumn’s expression and stumbled on. “B-but of course, we wouldn’t even have this chance if you hadn’t discovered Queen Chrysalis’ scheme. I’m sure when Applejack is freed she will give you full credit for saving her and that you two will be… um, very good friends.” Autumn turned turned to the living room, but a heavy thud caused her to look back. Rarity now laid prone, looking up to her with teary eyes. “Darling, why, why did you make that promise? I can’t save you from it or release you, that’s not how it works. I can’t help you.” Again, Autumn said nothing. She met Rarity’s eyes and turned away, going up the stairs. No point running from the guest room. Not anymore. Autumn awoke gagged and tied to the bed-frame. “MMPH!” To her credit, Rarity was already untying her. “So sorry, darling! Force of habit.” The work was completed quickly, and they armed themselves for the trial ahead. Autumn took several of Sweetie Belle’s baking projects that had been ripening in the fridge: all with a black, crusty exterior, perfect for keeping in the slimy, smelly insides until they burst. Rarity took a Glock pistol and knife. They gathered with the others outside Sweet Apple Acres. Some wore helmets, or had pillows strapped to their chests for armor. Cherry Jubilee arrived hitched to a small cart of pies, while others carried old fruit, bedposts, and flanged maces. Bon-Bon wore sunglasses with a black suit and tie, and Lyra carried a hand grenade. The road in would surely be watched, and the woods around were too dense for their ammunition cart. But there was another way, a hidden path into Sweet Apple Acres known only to blood relatives. Applebloom approached without her wagon, eyes wide and lips trembling. “Miss Rarity, did you… did you mean it, what you said in the letter?” “Every word, darling.” Rarity said. “Applejack is in great danger of marrying somepony who isn’t good enough for her. We have to act fast, and now’s not the time to be stingy. Every bit promised in the letter will be yours.” The small girl wiped at her eyes, smiling innocently up to Rarity. “Shucks, this is my family we’re talking about. I won’t charge you, just follow me. I’ll get you there, sure as sure.” Rarity smiled back. Then pounced, tackling Applebloom. She lifted and fell back, plowing the filly’s head into the dirt. “TALK, CHANGELING!” Rarity screeched. “WHERE ARE THEY?” “YOUR QUEST IS IN VAIN!” Applebloom hissed, growing fangs and a forked tongue. “QUEEN CHRYSALIS SHALL MAKE THE HIVE GREAT AGAIN! WE SHALL...” They trussed and gagged her and tossed her into the cart. “They know we’re coming,” Rara fretted. “And they have Applebloom. No chance of a resupply.” “Then we move fast, right down the main road.” Rainbow pointed. “If any attack us before the farm, that just means fewer we have to take all at once. Most will be at the wedding.” “And we have to get there in time,” Autumn said. “Right. let’s do this.” They moved quickly, eyes sharp and shoulder to shoulder along the well-trod path. Rainbow ranged ahead, triggering a few pit traps before anyone fell in. Not dangerous, but delays they couldn’t afford. “I made those,” Lyra confessed, nervously shuffling her grenade in magic’s grip. “Sorry.” Bon-Bon glanced to her, then looked sharply. “Lyra, where did you get a grenade?” “I don’t know.” No changelings. No challenge. It was evident their only resistance would come at the homestead itself. They saw the change even from a distance – white banners hung from the barn and house, with a raised platform and black swarm around. Arrival brought clarity to the scene. Queen Chrysalis tittered bashfully on the platform in a flowing, beautiful white dress. Next to her stood Applejack, with spiraling eyes and muddy hooves as though simply plucked from her workday. Applebloom and Granny Smith sat bound and gagged on front row seats. Macintosh also was tied, but he sat in the middle of the crowd. Dozens of female changelings surrounded him: cooing, giggling, blushing, and hanging on his every twitch and muffled word. The male changelings sat across the aisle, looking miffed and grumpy. All of the newcomers shrieked “I object!” as they burst into the clearing, but with no synchronization it came off as an indistinct war cry. The changelings clattered from their seats, over a hundred strong. Several of the females formed protectively around Big Mac, hissing more at each other than the newcomers. Chrysalis laughed; a shrill, evil ‘Oh-ho-hooooo!’ “Welcome to my wedding, fools! Would you like to stay for the banquet? We’re having the drained love of a dozen idiots!” She gestured languidly. The massed changelings began to advance. There were… a lot of them. Autumn glanced to each side, seeing fear and determination on her former rivals. Strawberry swallowed thickly. Rainbow and Rarity shook hooves. Autumn stepped out, in front of the others. She turned to them, smiling gently. “For Applejack,” she whispered. They nodded, steeled by the cause. She turned to lead the charge. “WAIT!” Several mares stomped from the woods north of the barn. Autumn recognized Windy Whistles from before, now walking stiffly on hockey skates. There was also a white unicorn, the town mayor, and others, all middle-aged or older. Windy’s wings flapped her upright, and she struck her blades hard enough to light a spark. “The mares who want to adopt Applejack are in agreement: there is no way, no how that our future daughter is marrying Chrysalis. She’s a gold digger, her hygiene is poor, and she’s way too old for our precious little apple. This wedding is canceled by order of… of whichever of us is her future mom!” “Oh nooooooo,” Chrysalis said lowly, smirking. “The milf brigade has arrived. Whatever shall I d–” A gunshot gave her and everyone a start. Another gang stormed from the western side. A trio of grey ponies, Cheerilee, Fluttershy, and a pink unicorn with a smoking revolver pointed to the sky. “Sorry, bugbutts,” the unicorn called. “I’m Sugar Belle, Macintosh’s future wife, and these are my rivals. I don’t care about the orange one, but you made a killer mistake kidnapping our big, beefcake husbando just for your stupid scheme or whatever. Did we make it before the vows? I don’t even care, because one way or another the marriage ends when you die, Chrysalis!” Chrysalis blinked wide and waved her hooves down. “Whoa, walk it back a step. If you guys are this psycho I think he’s better off with my–” “Sorry we’re late!” Four strange, furless apes jogged from the east orchard, all carrying switchblades or baseball bats. Two seemed to be imitators of Rainbow Dash and Rarity, while the other two were yellow. One of these had orange poofy hair, while the speaker and apparent leader was a redhead. “Traffic was killer… anyway, the Alliance of Human-World Applejack Appreciators didn’t have any skin in this game until you came along, Queen Chrysalis! I don’t know what effect your marrying our precious, freckled angel’s pony clone will have on her, but any risk is too great. For the good of our planet, we’re annulling this wedding by any. Means. Necessary!” Chrysalis blinked even wider at these newcomers, then closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. “My god. I’m Queen Chrysalis and even I’m over here going ‘what the hell is the matter with these people?’” “Well, enough.” She stood, tall and imperious, and gestured grandly to her changelings. “Minions! Crush them, bind them, and I shall drain their love for my own! Um, and for you all, of course. Trickle-down means that everyone will prosper.” “WAIT!” “What now?” Chrysalis hissed, turning to the new speaker. Mayor Mare spoke, walking out from the motherhood team. “We need ground rules before we begin.” Chrysalis’ annoyance cooled, and she gave a nod. “Yes, that makes sense. No grabbing of the hair.” “Yes. And no stabbing, slashing, or firearm weapons. I think that covers everything.” “Agreed.” Chrysalis said, then called out. “You heard it. If any of you have those weapons, drop them now.” There were mutters and grumbles among all parties, but also a rustle as weapons were deposited to the grass. Changelings pulled switchblades and derringers from their wings and dropped them. Rarity grumbled as she set down her knife, but left the holster carefully in her inside leg. “Rarity!” Autumn hissed. The unicorn grinned guiltily. “Wa-ha?” “I don’t want to lose on a forfeit. Drop it!” “Oh, fine, darling.” Rarity sulkily deposited the pistol, and took up a pie from Cherry’s cart. “We’re still outnumbered,” Strawberry said. “Everypony, if this doesn’t go well… it’s been fun. I’ve had a great time competing with all you.” She cracked a grin at Autumn, and Autumn grinned back. Then she turned to the front. United, but surrounded, the changelings were taking a defensive stance. Inspiration struck. “Rainbow Dash, Strawberry!” All were pumping themselves up for the charge, and turned curiously to Autumn. She spoke on quickly. “Take as many pies as you can carry and bomb them from above. They’re so tightly packed you can hardly miss. Cherry, hitch yourself with the cart ahead of you. Rara and I will ride inside, throwing pies until we run out. Barrel into them; head right for the stage. The rest of you, follow our opening as best you can and keep them off Cherry. We’re still outnumbered, so we have to use our mass and pastries to even the odds.” Most nodded. Strawberry hesitated. “If you’re on the cart, then you reach Applejack first.” Autumn flashed her a smaller smile. “I’m not a rival anymore, remember?” “Right, right.” Strawberry cawed a laugh and grabbed a stack of pies. “Let’s do it. See you in hell, kirin!” “See you in hell, bird-brain.” And they charged, led by a blue blur and rainbow streak. Autumn stood up in the cart, feeling the wind blow out her thick mane behind her. From her vantage point, she could see the other groups strike – all of them fierce, but outnumbered against the tightly-packed foe. Already the initial charges were being thrown back, though the Macintosh rivals were making headway with raw ferocity. But the changeling females had counter-attacked, screeching and hissing, fighting as wildly as their opponents. Yet the battle had just begun. Pies began falling from on high, not only striking changelings, but disrupting and discouraging them as they dove for cover, crashing into each other. She saw Lyra throw her grenade for a double-hit: it clocks a changeling square in the face, flew upwards, then landed on another. It did not explode. Suddenly, Autumn had no time for the larger picture. Her cart lurched into the throng, trampling changelings and sending others to flight. She hurled pie after pie alongside Rara, striking them down to each side. Autumn chanced a look backwards. Rarity engaged with karate skills she’d never have expected from the posh mare. Bon-Bon had on a thick lead horseshoe while Lyra swung a golf club whilst screaming. But other changelings were filling in behind the meager breakthrough and the ponies were hard pressed. Even now the two unicorns were dragged down, and Bon-Bon leaped frantically to help them. No choice. “Faster, Cherry!” The mare grunted and complied, barreling forwards with pursuit closing behind. Momentum and the wide, durable cart was all that preserved them now. A scream brought Autumn’s attention back front. Changelings had seized Rara and were pulling her from the cart. Their eyes met. Rara could hold on for dear life, bringing the charge to a screeching halt. Or… “Fly, you fools,” Rara breathed. She let go, disappearing into the swarm. No more pies. Autumn looked forward. There was the stage, and the last few changelings in the way were overrun. Still no choice. She said nothing, letting Cherry careen forwards at full speed. Autumn braced, but was still thrown clear as the cart crashed into the flimsy stage, tossing all occupants to the ground. She opened her eyes, feeling warm grass beneath her. Her dizzy gaze focused, and found the most beautiful green gems in the world staring back at her. “Autumn?” Applejack murmured. She blinked hard, as though coming up from a long sleep. “What’s going on?” Green magic seized the farmer, hoisting her to the air. “Applejack!” Autumn cried. She leaped, but a blast of green slime slammed and glued her to the ground. Chrysalis loomed above. Her dress was in tatters and her face locked in a vicious, angry grin. “Aww… so close, and yet so far! You’ve ruined my wedding, so congratulations on that. But you failed, little kirin. The moment I kiss her, the ceremony will be complete and Applejack will be all mine!” Autumn struggled against the gooey bonds to no avail. Applejack thrashed in the magic’s grip, leaning back as Chrysalis brought her in close. Though her body hovered helplessly, her hooves were free. Applejack swung, belting Chrysalis with a solid right hook. Chrysalis staggered and spat out a fang, moving Applejack beyond hoof’s reach. “Put me down, you low-down dirty varmit! I wouldn’t marry you iffin’ you were the last–” Quick as a viper, Chrysalis brought Applejack in and cuffed her hard across the face. A match lit within Autumn Blaze. “Silence, minion!” Chrysalis growled, pulling in her prize and this time restraining the limbs. “And pucker up.” She paused, sniffing. “...Do you smell fire?” She looked to Autumn to find purple smoke rising from her slime prison. Autumn blazed from it, enraged and in nirik form. She breathed out a tight, controlled gout of flame and crouched, ready to pounce. Chrysalis stood tall. She was bigger, stronger, and more powerful than the little kirin. But Autumn was on fire, and that made things fair. She leaped, latching on to Chrysalis’ face. “This isn’t fair at all!” Chrysalis shrieked, trying to paw off the flaming assailant to no avail. “Oh Celestia, it hurts! I can feel the flames in my nostrils!” “Say uncle!” Autumn growled. “Never!” Chrysalis ran around screaming, trying to slam her head into the ground, shaking, and everything else she could think of to pull Autumn off. But Autumn held firm, roaring her own rage, wrapped firmly around Chrysalis’ head. “It’s burning my hair! I’m in so much pain! Uncle, uncle, uncle! Let me go, I give up!” Autumn obliged, landing hard to the ground. Chrysalis kept screaming, battering her head to the dirt to put out the residual flames. Not terribly worse for wear but now lacking eyelashes, the queen of the changelings flew to the air. “Curse you!” she spat. “One day I shall have my revenge, and Equestria will be mine! Changelings, retreat!” Chrysalis fled, and those changelings who could flee followed. Others laid still, battered into submission during the battle. With the battle over, though, there were no hard feelings. They milled, helping to clean up the damage and both offering and accepting first aid. Lyra’s hand grenade exploded, but fortunately no one was close by. Clean-up took most of the day. Applejack helped as best she could, but was weakened by her time in Chrysalis’ thrall. She sat down on the porch, watching the sun fall low in the horizon. Most of the changelings and rivals had departed, though Autumn remained. As did her own former rivals, none trusting each other to stay alone with Applejack. None objected when Autumn sat down next to her. It was a little easier now – no nervous jitters or tied tongues. Applejack was out of reach, forever. But Applejack was free. She would end up with one of these beautiful ponies who deserved her, who would do right by her. That was a great thing. Autumn could be happy with that. “Thanks for the help,” Applejack said. She turned to Autumn, giving a tired smile. “Same to everyone, but it was you who beat Chrysalis. And Rarity tells me they wouldn’t have even known to come if it wasn’t for you. That’s twice you’ve saved me.” Her tail swished, brushing against Autumn’s before moving away. Autumn returned the smile, faintly. “I’m just glad I could help. Before...” She hesitated, glanced to the others. None met her eyes except Rarity, with hoof to mouth. “...Before I go home. I’m taking the next train back to the Peaks of Peril.” “Maybe I’ll visit again sometime,” Autumn added, but a strong, orange embrace caught her just as she finished. She hugged back, leaning into it as the moon rose over Sweet Apple Acres.