//------------------------------// // 65536: 17 // Story: They're EVERYWHERE! // by Nameless Narrator //------------------------------// Nearly a week passed since Half-hearted Fury’s arrival in Canterlot and Luna’s return from the dreamscape. For 65536, it was downright unbelievable because, thanks to it now being general knowledge that there was a friendly changeling inside the castle, it was allowed to go outside! Unfortunately, it didn’t last. According to Luna, the dreamscape was still in turmoil, so she only took a day of rest which she spent with 65536 before leaving again. No amount of wibbling helped prolong Luna’s stay in the real world, but it did make her feel better. So, with the reassurance of quick return, Luna vanished into a portal again. Unfortunately, so far she hasn't come back. However, having the entirety of castle grounds as its new playground, 65536 has been keeping itself busy.  “Dig dig dig, only a bit bit bit,” mutters the drone as it makes a small hole in a flower bed and plants something Pink Sunset called a geront- gearon- geronimo- a pink flower into it, “Only eight more left, two rows of four. Doo dee do do doo...” Being able to dig, if only a little bit, and perform a repetitive and basically mindless task has been making 65536’s head hurt less and less. Humming with a smile, the drone keeps on replanting the flowers in the shadow of the castle with only a single look up and a quick wave to the pegasus Royal Guard perched on a balcony and clearly keeping an eye on it. One row of flowers later, 65536 raises its head in surprise as stomping guard hooves that have been passing by the entire morning stop nearby, and it finds itself surrounded by five Royal Guards with extremely stern expressions. “Uhh, hi?” “Grab it!” orders the leader with a nod. “Huh? What’s-?” 65536 gets its forelegs swept with a butt of a spear as two other guards make sure it stays on the ground while a third one puts hoofcuffs on its hind and front legs, “What’s going on?” 65536 manages to force out of its mouth with its muzzle pressed into the grass. “Be quiet or we’ll muzzle you!” barks the leading unicorn as his telekinesis picks 65536 up and the whole unit gets moving. The only reason why 65536 isn’t panicking is because it can’t move or do anything anyway, which feels eerily familiar to how it was back home when a high rank came to examine its work.  Things get worse when the guards take the stairs down to the dungeons, bringing back its own bad experience. Things get better when 65536 spots Sharp, who has quite clearly been woken up mere moments ago, as well as Princess Celestia. Things get worse again when the drone reads the princess’ grim expression. Things improve yet again when the princess shoots a dirty look to the Royal Guards as she notices 65536 being shackled. “Take those off,” she frowns. As the guards do so and 65536 finds itself on the floor, raising its legs up and down, her horn lights up and the entrance to the dungeons behind her opens, “Commander Biscuit, 65536, follow me. An EIS expert as well as Grandmaster Beacon are already waiting.” “Did I do something bad?” 65536 pumps its legs quickly to follow Celestia’s long strides, “I know I wasn’t supposed to dig anything but Pink Sunset told me I could make small holes in the flower bed and move the flowers around.” “It’s not about the flower bed,” says Celestia grimly. As they turn the corner and 65536 sees the elderly paladin talking to a pony wearing a white lab coat, the drone’s breathing quickens. “Did… did something happen to the changelings?” “We’re not sure,” she shakes her head. Once they approach the open cell door, Beacon measures 65536 with narrowed eyes. Sharp, having the experience, recognizes the coated unicorn as an EIS crime scene analyst.  “What h- ah shit...” even usually calm Sharp grits his teeth, “You didn’t move them all somewhere else, I suppose?” Celestia shakes her head. The cell is bereft of all changelings and, unfortunately, contains a young, dead Royal Guard unicorn lying in a pool of coagulated blood on the stone floor, his throat torn open. “They… did that?” 65536’s jaw drops. Celestia’s horn lights up. Magic gathers inside the cell and temporarily changes their surroundings, making the body vanish and setting a different scene.  Incorporeal forms of the changelings are lying around, exhausted as always, until the small drain in the corner of the cell lets in several flies. The flies burst into green flames, transforming into a group of changelings. The prisoners raise their heads in surprise and give the newcomers questioning looks. However, they don’t have the energy to do anything else. The biggest of the new changelings, a warrior mare by the looks of it, uses her saliva to dissolve the edges of the drain cover. A different changeling, almost identical to 65536, walks from prisoner to prisoner, seemingly giving them hugs which make them able to stand up while the big mare ushers them towards the hole. The door suddenly slams open and two guards rush inside. Before they, or even Sharp, Beacon, or the EIS agent can react, the mare is holding one guard by his neck with her mouth, his eyes slowly closing as he sits down and remains staring blankly at the wall even after she lets him go. The second guard finds himself punched by her against the wall, suspiciously near where the dead body is lying now in the real world. Another small changeling, only slightly taller than 65536 but significantly thinner and overall spindlier, walks over to the guard groaning after a punch that knocked his helmet off, and puts its open mouth around his neck. One by one, the prisoners shapeshift into larger insects and disappear down the drain but, so far, everyone is alive. As they’re almost done, the dazed guard turns his head and screams for reinforcements, and the spindly changeling bites down. The guard thrashes again, and the changeling gets thrown off, but the damage is already done and made much worse by the guard’s movement.  As the changeling stumbles backwards, eyes wide and spitting out blood, the vision ends, leaving behind only the empty cell with one Royal Guard corpse in the position now corresponding with the vision. “Have you ever considered a side-career at the EIS, Your Highness?” asks the EIS agent, “This kind of reconstructive spell would be invaluable to us.” “It only works here inside the castle,” replies Celestia dryly, clearly not seeing any amusement in the situation. Then she looks at 65536, “Do you know who the changeling intruders were?” “That mare was a top rank,” 65536 sits down, staring with tearing-up eyes at the dead guard, ”The one hugging everyone was a drone and it was feeding them. The one who… killed the guard was a female infiltrator. I… I think she was younger than I am.” “How could you tell?” asks the EIS agent with genuine curiosity. 65536 opens its mouth as wide as it can at him and points to its fangs before closing it. “Drone teeth aren’t sharp enough to cause that,” it points at the shredded neck, “At least not by accident like what happened here.” “Ahem,” Celestia clears her throat, “What I meant was if you had any idea who in particular those changelings were.” “Uhh, no?” 65536 looks at her, “I can recognize a top rank because… they’re big and scary, but that’s all.” With a sigh, Celestia looks at Beacon. “That’s what I feared,” her voice takes on an official tone, “Grandmaster, we have a cluster of unknown changelings in Canterlot who have already killed a Royal Guard. If neither 65536 nor Miss Fury have any idea who they are, we can’t simply contact them and have them face Luna’s trial. Despite Miss Fury’s and 65536’s friendly presence in the castle, consider the group of changelings hostile. However, if you find them and they surrender, be lenient. If they fight...” her voice drifts off. “Understood,” Beacon nods and vanishes in a flash of light. “Umm,” 65536 peeps, “Speaking of Luna, she’s been gone for nearly a week again. Can’t we… look for her or something?” Celestia pats 65536’s head. “I told you before - it would be foolish. Our inability to navigate or manipulate the dreamscape would only force her to split her attention from whatever she’s doing towards us. Be patient and trust in my sister. She returned to you before and will do so again.” 65536 lets out a squeaky sigh, but far be it for a drone to defy a high rank. “As for you, Commander,” Celestia turns to Sharp, “You are here because of your closeness to 65536 here as well as this incident happening on your watch. I expect a full report as well as Nightguard support in searching the sewers through which the changelings got here.” “Yes, Your Highness!” Sharp salutes, “Now if you don’t mind, I’ll take 65536 away. No offense to the Royal Guards, but you saw in what shape they brought the little guy here.” Celestia nods. *** 65536 asks Sharp to drop it by Half-hearted Fury’s guest suite, and once the Nightguard Commander says goodbye and leaves to prepare the reports and support for the EIS staff, the drone knocks on Fury’s door. “Whoever that is, you got the wrong suite!” Fury’s voice comes from the inside. “Nu uh!” replies 65536, knocking again. “There’s a changeling inside!” “And also a changeling outside!” “Oh for crying out loud...” accompanied by annoyed grumbling, hoofsteps begin approaching the door, “Oh fuck- WHO LEFT THE CHAIR HERE?! Ow- Crest, I’m gonna use your balls as a bola if you-OW! HOOFO BLOCKS?! WE DON’T EVEN HAVE HOOFO. Owww, my whole holes-damned leg hurts now,” a tumbling noise as well as a bounce follow, “ARRRGH! Hive almighty! A bed… if nothing else, I should remember where the damn bed is.” “I can hear you getting closer!” calls out 65536 helpfully, “You’re doing great!” Some more grumbling later, the door clicks open, revealing Fury scowling in a vaguely downwards direction. “What do you want?” “I wanted to see if you were okay. Princess Sunbutt said the guards already talked to you about the escaped changelings and I wanted to see if they weren’t as mean to you as they were to me.” “If the field upon which I grow my fucks wasn’t barren, I would be touched,” Fury rolls her eyes, “Now get inside before you yell even louder that a bunch of changelings just escaped the dungeons of the most magically secured place in Canterlot,” she swings her foreleg to grab 65536, missing completely as the drone runs between her legs and into the suite. 65536 looks around. Contrary to its expectations from Fury’s cursing, the main room of the suite is neat and clean with the exception of a chair lying on the floor and a single, small, unexplained, colorful, brick-like block. Most furniture was moved towards the walls to create an open area in the middle of the room, clearly to prevent Fury from stumbling on anything. “So, the guards weren’t mean to you? They cuffed me and carried me off to the dungeons.” “Considering how boring it is with Crest doing guard things, I would gladly take several hunky stallions cuffing me, carrying me off to the dungeons, put a spreader bar between my hind legs, put my front into a pillory, and rail-” “But you have pillows right here,” 65536 interrupts her, hopping on the bed, “Look!” A thrown pillow bounces harmlessly off of Fury. “Do I have to explain to you the concept of blindness, you walking, digging emergency ration?! Or do you want to try it out for yourse-” *Pomf!* A pillow number two harmlessly bounces off of her face. “Hee hee hee,” giggles 65536. “RAAAWRGH!” Fury launches herself towards the bed, narrowly missing the drone jumping off and running towards one of the pillows on the floor.  “Fire in the hole!” it calls out. “Hey, that’s what Crest said yesterday when-” *Pomf!* “Hee hee hee,” 65536 scuttles off to pillow number two. However, Fury just stands there now, hoof raised and eye twitching. “I may be blind. I may not be as terrifying as I used to be. I may be in a new place I haven’t mapped out completely yet. BUT NO ONE INTERRUPTS -pomf!“ the second pillow bounces off of her face, but this time she doesn’t even flinch or lose the train of thought, ”MY SASSY MONOLOGUE!” “Woooo!” 65536 starts stomping its hooves on the floor in applause, “You didn’t even pause. You’re the uninterruptible top rank!” “And you’d better remember it,” Fury nods, poking around with her foreleg for the pillow, “Now, drone, tell me more about your day...” she says in a strangely sweet tone. “Oh? So I didn’t want to do any more drawing today and Pink Sunset said-” “Ah hah!” Fury’s hoof touches the pillow. However, without picking it up and aiming, she straight up kicks it directly at 65536, the force of the blow sending the drone tumbling. “OH MY HOLES! THAT WAS AWESOME!” 65536 picks itself from the floor, “You didn’t even see me and-” *Wham!* Pillow two slams the drone against the wall. Harmlessly, though. Fury gives 65536 a smug grin. “Yes, I am absolutely amazing, in and out of the bed-”  *Bonk!* A double-hooved throw of the pillow, still containing the same amount of power as a marshmallow kiss, does the unforgivable yet again - interrupts her. “You dun goofed, buddy,” she growls, picking the pillow up. This time, however, she doesn’t immediately throw it, because 65536 remains silent, instead sneaking around along the wall towards where the other pillow landed before. Fury’s ears keep twitching, and her bloodthirsty grin does wonders to show her long, thick fangs of a warrior. Her head is turning from side to side, but she simply stands there, pillow at the ready. With her inaction, 65536 feels safe enough to finally creep towards pillow number two, grab it with both forelegs, put it over its head, and throw!  Fury rises on her hind legs, snatches the pillow slowly arcing towards her from the air with one foreleg, and with the other throws her own pillow directly at 65536. “EEP!” the drone squeaks in surprise and amazement as not just the first but even the second pillow hit it in quick succession, and when it pops its head from underneath, the first thing it sees is Fury’s grinning mouth. She softly smacks 65536 over the head before sitting down. “That’s what you get from challenging a top rank. Now clean up the mess.” Smiling from ear to ear, 65536 puts both pillows back on the bed, fluffs them up, and while it’s there it folds the blanket and everything. When it’s done, it notices Fury sitting by the now open window, her muzzle resting on the sil and her eyes closed. 65536 walks over to her, and when she doesn’t say anything, it asks: “Do you want to go outside?” “I’m not supposed to. Officially, it’s so that I don’t hurt myself in an unknown area. In reality, it’s so that one of those guard assholes doesn't try to whack me behind a shed. I hate being cooped up...” “Really?” 65536’s ears perk up, “The outside is nice, but I miss curling up in a cozy tunnel. I usually sleep under a bed when I’m alone.” “Yes, you’re a drone. I’m not,” says Fury simply. “Oh my gosh! You didn’t even need eyes to see that,” 65536 gasps in obviously fake amazement. “One more quip like that and we’re playing basketdrone. Fair warning, I dribble a lot.” “I can get you a bib,” 65536 beams at her as she almost genuinely growls back at it, and realizes its mistake, adding quickly, “I’m sorry, I was just joking. Ponies usually know it even if I kinda muck it up because I smile at them a lot but you can’t see it,” it reaches up towards Fury’s mouth, and traces a corner curling up with its comparatively tiny hoof. First on one side, then on the other. “Look, drone, I went from rank Sixteen to a cripple in a single moment. I was respected and I was feared. Now, every moment I spend blind like this makes it less and less likely I will be able to heal myself even if I eventually gain enough love.”  “But that Crest pony loves you.” “So what?!” Fury snaps at it, “How many ponies do you think loved me, even without mind control? Love fades over time, that’s why we always need a new target, a new victim. I like him, don’t get me wrong, and I feel it’s different from any time before, but I know how this song and dance goes, and I know my time is limited. Eventually, he will either leave or his love will weaken to the point where it won’t sustain me, I won’t be able to find a new victim like this, and I will starve,” she sighs and her voice loses its sharp edge, “But, for now, as long as I try hard enough not to think about it, it’s working.” 65536 wibbles at her. Unsurprisingly, it doesn’t work. “I’m wibbling at you, Miss Fur-, Sixteen,” it says. “You can use Fury. Using my old rank now feels like you’re laughing at me.” “I’m not laughing at you, Sixteen. I’m wibbling at you. Big difference.” “This is why we don’t talk to the drones, this is why we eat you...” “I’m still wibbling at you, Sixteen.” “Stop it!” “I’m wibbling harder.” “Stop narrating yourself!” “Oh, like in those wordy books! Ahem- and 65536 wibbled with all its power at Sixteen, gradually making her into a changeling much nicer to herself.” “If you keep narrating yourself, you’ll grow hair on your hooves. Plus, what in all wet and tight holes were you reading? Foal books?” “Yep,” 65536 nods, “Luna and Sharp said those had all the easy words I should get used to before I get to the long and scary words like marmalade-oops!” it clamps its forelegs over its mouth, “Okay, I admit I read ahead.” The conversation stalls again until 65536 asks: “So, do you want to go outside with me, Sixteen? I’m allowed to. There’s even a maze in the gardens.” Fury ponders it for a moment before standing up and snarling at the window. “Fine. Let’s show those Royal Fucks that we’re not afraid of them!” “Yaaay!” 65536 cheers, “Can I ride you?” “If you do a good job guiding me around, I can grow a dick and let you be my fleshl-” she pauses, “How are you doing that? Why can I feel you staring blankly at me now?” “Luna told me that whenever you start talking like that I should just keep staring at you like this until you stop. She said you were bad for my upbringing, whatever that means.” “Did she understand I was blind? I mean, she did feel a little archaic on the uptake but I think they already invented blindness in her time.” “Did the silent staring work?” “...yes...” “See? Luna is smart.” “No, I don’t see. That’s the problem.” “Huuuh...” 65536 looks at Fury with a smile, “You’re right!” The warrior lets out a sigh mixed with an irritated growl, repeating: “...this is why we eat drones, don’t talk to them...” “The curse of being incredibly delicious, we know.” “Grrrnnghh-” Fury pauses, “Huh, now I know how Crest feels when he talks to me. What a chance for character growth...” she shakes her head, “Nope, messing with him is too much fun.” “Sooo...” is all 65536 says. “Fine, hop on. And you’d better be on point with your instructions because, for some reason, I can’t tap into your head.” 65536 flies up on Fury‘s back and points directly ahead with zero effect for obvious reasons.  “Straight ahead, Sixteen. I hit a door really hard during the big kaboom. But then I landed in Luna’s place and everything was okay.”  Slowly and carefully, Fury starts following 65536’s instructions.  “You like the night princess a lot, don’t you?” she asks as she reaches the suite door, opens it, and walks out into the castle hallway. “She makes everything alright,” beams 65536, “You think I’m silly, don’t you? Left.” “It might shock you, but I don’t,” Fury shakes her head, turning left, “It’s completely natural for a changeling to assure the well-being of their source of food.” “Well, Luna is lost in this dreamscape thing. I read a bit about it in a book in her room but I didn’t understand much. Did you know Luna writes her own books and draws those complex pictures? Anyway, princess Sunbutt doesn’t want to go look for her because she thinks we’d only be a burden.” “I mean, far be it for me to question her royal cake plot in regards to magic, but it might be possible that Luna keeps her secrets close. Considering that she returned from her exile recently, there might be things at her place that even Celestia doesn’t know.” “Oh? You mean like her cleaning stick!” 65536 adds, “Stop. Turn left. Stairs down. Two hooves high each. Three hooves long.” “Cleaning stick? What's so secret about a cleaning stick?” Fury starts descending the stairs, probing each step to make sure that 65536’s directions are accurate. “It was in Luna’s cleaning drawer full of weird thingies. It vibrates and goes back and forth on its own. It’s great for cleaning holes. Once you put some fluff on it because it doesn’t slide so well on its own, that is,” after a second, 65536 adds, “I tried it myself.” Fury misses a step as her brain momentarily short-circuits, but catches herself by step three and stops herself from falling. “Which holes…?” she asks with a suspicion. “All of them! Well, not my nostrils, it’s too thick for that, but all of my cup holders. Ears too! It made my noggin buzz.” “Uh huh,” mumbles Fury, suddenly smirking, “You know what? I think I’m starting to like you.” “Yaaaaay!” “Now, how about you tell me about all the other things you saw in Luna’s cleaning drawer. Don’t miss the tiniest detail,” she chuckles, “Crest is gonna love this.” *** As evening falls on Canterlot, a peculiar sight greets Pink Sunset who is on guard by Luna’s door this shift. A cardboard box with ‘boks’ written on its top is shuffling along the floor and mumbling quietly: “...sneaking sneaking sneaking sneaking...” The box is obviously completely unaware of the Royal Guard closely following it. Pink Sunset salutes to the Royal Guard and gestures to him to move along. The unicorn nods in response and leaves. The box turns towards Pink Sunset, showing a black slit cut into its front that’s letting out a teal glow from two spots. “Stop! I’m under strict orders to not let any boxes into Princess Luna’s suite. No exceptions,” says the batpony sternly. The box flips over, revealing a changeling. “You thought it was a box, but it was me, 65536!” Pink Sunset fakes a gasp before leaning down and patting the drone’s head. “Why were you hiding? You could just put your Nightguard armor on and walk around freely.” “It’s because of the changeling thing that happened last night in the dungeons. The Royal Guards look kinda nervous.” “Hmph,” Sunset frowns, “Makes sense, but I think it would still be better if you wore your official armor. That way if anything happens, you’ll have the Commander to back you up.” “Okay!” 65536 nods, “Buuut, can I go in now that I’m not a box?” “Put that box back where you found it and I’ll let you in. We can’t have you making a mess in mom’s suite.” 65536 salutes, and with practiced precision puts the box on its back. Drones are carrier experts. “I’ll be right back!” it trots off. Not even ten minutes later, 65536 finds itself in Luna’s suite again, eyeing the bookshelf next to Luna’s bed. “Hmm… where to begin?” it mutters.